posted
Ok NdRa, thanks for straightening that out. I had the two overlapped and you haven't been the most frequent of posters. Hi, I'm AJ, and I wasn't trying be a disrespectful n00b. Pleased to meet you!
NdRa, you are a moth drawn to the flame. You have been burned by it. Maybe the day will come that you will look at that sweet boy next to you who is kind and supportive and find that you love him. But I will not deny that there must be chemistry there. If there is no chemistry, you can't force it.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Hey, have you considered writing a real long post explaining how you are single and unattached and are just happy with that in your life right now?
DKW did that last year.
She's getting married next year.
It might work for you, but no Bob's are gauranteed.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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"My best friend just told me that it kind of IS my fault. He also says I have a tendancy to fall for the wrong type of men and ignore the ones that are probably right for me."
Hm. On my planet, that's the code phrase for "Date me! Date me! I'm right here, you moron!"
Seriously, though, you're an attractive gamer geek. Walk into your local game store, whip out a Magic deck, and tell people that you're going to be using pieces of clothing to represent Life Points. I'm kidding a bit, of course, but I DON'T think you realize how desirable you are, how easy it is to just get out there and date people, or how frivilously you COULD be dating. And I think frivolity is key in the early stages.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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But I think she is tired of frivolity and wants something lasting. You're right, she could get just about any guy she wants, but not for long term. That is the problem.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Seriously, though, you're an attractive gamer geek. Walk into your local game store, whip out a Magic deck, and tell people that you're going to be using pieces of clothing to represent Life Points.
I'm a gamer geek and I'd never go to the local RPG store to pick up guys. Are you kidding me?!
I have many, many gamer geek guy friends. In fact, at a recent dinner party, I didn't realize until a neighbor mentioned that 9/10 of my guests were guys. Generally, gamer geek guys are the kinds of folks I'd love to have as gaming buddies. But not necessarily to date.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Heh heh, that's funny Tom. I don't think it's true. My closes guy friends all have girlfriends they love, and would never ever look at me that way now. Garick, you've got my back on this one right?
Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I actually agree with Sandy on that one, because I tell my sister that she dates scumbags all the time. Though I say it in nicer words.... Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Which leads us back to the age-old question all nice guys want to know the answer to, "Why do desirable women date jerks?" I think there was a thread about that not long ago....
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I suspect because those desirable women don't believe that they are so and the jerks are all they can get.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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My opinion: I stopped dating the fascinating, baggage-ridden artists when I decided to stop using dating as my source of adventure. Find another source of adventure, and you won't require that variety to be in the guy. The stable ones become much more attractive then.
And what mack said. Basically, the sheer quality of guys I date now is about ten times what it was ten years ago. This is a very positive trend, and it has more to do with me becoming more choosy and more confident than with the crowd around me.
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Yes. People are attracted to confidence, and it almost doesn't matter if it's warranted or not.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I think part of it is that desirable women know to some extent that they are desirable and that the "nice guys" are often not assertive enough in their wooing. The jerks start out wooing confidently, but then evolve into their normal jerk-form of rude behavior. The women start to doubt themselves and require the positive feedback and attentions of the said-jerk. Thus, they are hopelessly wrapped around his finger.
They don't believe the flattery of the "nice guy", 'cause after all, he's just deperate. He'd say that to any girl who gave him the time of day.
I was convinced I was not desirable. I still have a hard time convincing myself of it now, but certain people (person) make it easier.
I always figured that the guys I was truly attracted to in all ways were way out of my league (such as hot nathan). So I settled for what I could get, and those guys turned out to be, well, jerks. But, I felt that beggars couldn't be choosers.
So yeah. The delusional chicks get the good guys. Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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for me, a lot of the "decent" men also fit into the category "boring." and the half-decent ones are taken Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Yah, beautiful Annie thought she wasn't desireable too... of course she ended up setteling for me so maybe that wont encourage you, but it sure does wonders for me!
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Nndra: I have to admit, a lot of the fun went out of dating then too. I LIKED the adventure, dang it. Now it isn't worth the effort NEARLY as often, and sometimes even when it seems like it would be, something else (timing - SOMETHING) is off.
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Sandy, has your best friend never dropped anything resembling a hint? Because, y'know, seriously, in my life so far, I've learned to recognize the sentence "You could be doing so much better. You just aren't dating the right men," as the last desperate mating call of the mildly passive-aggressive.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Yeah definitely not the Harry Potter book on top of the table
AJ (Though I would be worried if she's hiding under the coffee table to read the Harry Potter book... that would be a major issue)
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Tom - Could it be possible that my friends honestly think I deserve a lot better without having an ulterior motive?
Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2001
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mack, yeah, I can totally see where that side of the issue happens also. Nice guys of the world, unite! Start wooing women with gusto! Let them know they are awesome and don't have to settle for jerks! Women of the world! Give the nice guys a chance!
There. Now everyone will be happier.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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