posted
There must be something in the milk... When I was 9, 10, or 11 I didn't have much of a desire to act like a teenager... I didn't even when I was 16. I tutured second graders and third graders at an elementary school once. All the girls would rant about having crushes on the boys... At that young age! What could be causing that?
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
rivka -- been there, done that, don't want to do it again!
You have my sympathies. My daughter is now 15, of course, and I will take this age ANY DAY over the age you describe -- the terrible hormonal moodiness of that "just before you start your period" stage. (was that too graphic? Sorry -- that is just how it is!) They are beginning into the change of life, and girls at that age are horrible to deal with -- mood swings and crying for no reason, etc.
I have two daughters, ages 8 and 11. I'm at the point where I have to threaten the 11-year-old that if she doesn't go to church, she doesn't get the computer all week. She's uncooperative and usually ignores my requests/commands.
Then she'll do something like bring in all the groceries. I'm already confused.
Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
As rivka has so gently reminded me, hormonal moodiness knows no logical boundaries.
The fact your daughter is trying to be helpful means she really does try, but she has no frame of reference to understand the emotional whirlwind she finds herself in.
Which means she's going to be tugged to and fro and not really understand why. This is also why "logical" approaches to handling a teen's moodiness has never seemed to work (at least, so I've heard).
posted
Does my daughter's age (13) keep me from this support group?? C'mon, she's dramatic and moody and flounces a LOT - I think I should qualify just on the basis of the flounces.
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Cay, I'm starting to do much of the same thing with Heather. She sooooo wants to go on the Operation Snowflake campout in the spring - but she can't manage to do her chores on a daily basis even with a dry-erase board that tells her exactly what needs to be done every day. She has 3 chores that need to be done daily (clear the kitchen table, wash dishes, and fold/put away laundry - there isn't always new clean laundry every day, she doesn't get penalized for that). If she manages to do all three (or two if applicable) items every day in a week, she earns her allowance for that week.
Since she seems to get sucked into watching TV instead of doing her chores, today when I left for work, I put the parental control lock on the television so NOBODY can watch till I get home... At least she usually gets her homework done before I get home, but she's still wasting an average of 2 hours an afternoon between her arrival home and mine in "I guess I forgot". Maybe the TV block will wake her up a bit.
And if we go a full month (well, okay, four weeks) without her managing to earn her allowance for a single lousy week, then she loses out on Snowflake. I've already told her that she can't be part of Panther Prints (school newspaper) because she can't fulfill her commitments at home. The only reason she still gets the chorus concerts throughout the year is that those are actually part of her grade (something I think is not entirely appropriate - the school requires a musical elective and then turns around and makes evening and weekend participation mandatory? What if I had no way to get her to and from school for these things - which was a reality for us a mere 3 months ago?)
The bad thing about the TV block is that Missy is also being restricted as a result of her sister's inability to do her work. Although Missy could probably stand to not have the TV on all the time too... maybe Daddy will actually participate in her life!
quote: rivka -- been there, done that, don't want to do it again!
You have my sympathies. My daughter is now 15, of course, and I will take this age ANY DAY over the age you describe
*resists commenting about her sister's transition from angel to Teen From Hell at age 16*
Thanks, Farmgirl. I know they are years I would not want to relive, and my parents hadn't recently divorced when I was a pre-teen. So I do have a lot of sympathy for her . . . until she repeatedly defies simple and reasonable requests, with a mulish look on her face as she flounces off.
And then two hours later, she comes to give me unsolicited hugs and kisses, "because you're my favorite mommy." And these weren't an apology -- she had apologized (grudgingly ) long before.
OTOH, she is starting to be someone I can have intelligent conversations with. Discuss books with, play Apples to Apples with, laugh with about sophisticated/clever jokes . . .
posted
I'm glad I wasn't made to go to church when I was 11. I probably would have made life more difficult for my mum than it was. I was very against being forced into religion in those days, still am.....
Posts: 315 | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
"she is starting to be someone I can have intelligent conversations with"
So true. Also, I use her as a sounding block for school issues.
"So, where does your teacher have you hand in homework? How does she handle it when two girls are arguing over something small" etc.
Then, she says those things that kick my bee-hind, like when I say, "My class is so disorganized." And she answers, "Your class, or you?" And then I start thinking about that. Grrr.
[ September 15, 2004, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
