My doctor, interestingly enough, is from your part of the world. I'm not going to send her back for you.
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posted
I'm one of those who don't mind if the doctor is male or female -- doesn't bother me in the least...
HOWEVER -- I did have a very uncomfortable time with it this year -- not because my doctor is male, but because he is an old family friend and someone we have attended church with all my life!
See-- I picked him years ago as our family primary care physician because the kids know him well enough to be comfortable around him, and we knew him from church, and he has a small practice, etc.
And prior to this, if I ever needed a "female exam" I would schedule it with his female P.A. (assistant) or with my regular OB-GYN, which was a whole different person in a whole different office - and had been my OB-GYN for quite some time.
But this year my OB-GYN found some abnormalities that resulted in my needing a uterine biopsy. No problem, I schedule it. Then, only to be told by my insurance company that they would NOT pay for it being done by the OB-GYN -- that it could be performed by my primary care, and since it could be done there, that would be the only way I could have insurance pay for it!! I almost freaked. But I finally did go in, and have this family friend/fellow church-member doctor of mine do my biopsy. But it was the first time I really felt embarrased about the whole process. He handled it very non-pulsed, but it has made me feel embarrased when I see him, none-the-less.
posted
When my wife was 19 or 20 she went to see her gynecologist for a routine exam. Just as he was starting the exam, he said "So, you like kinky stuff?", which, as you might imagine, completely freaked her out. To make matters worse, when he said this his nurse turned around and just walked out of the exam room.
She kind of froze and let him do the exam, but afterward sent him a letter about it, telling him just how horrified she'd been by the comment, and informing him that she would be switching doctors. He left a number of messages on her answering machine apologizing over the next few weeks. One would have been okay, but he left enough of them that it was a bit creepy in and of itself.
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Yeah. She wasn't scarred by it or anything, but the whole thing definitely freaked her out at the time.
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At 19 or 20, I may have just froze and done nothing. Now, I would be calling him on it and out of there so fast you wouldn't believe it.
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I have had both a female and a male perform pelvic exams. I like the male doctor better (he also happens to be my GP), but I think that's more about the doctor's personalities than their genders. My female gyno was dismissive of my concerns and questions, so I saw her as little as possible. When I went in earlier this month for my yearly exam I was making jokes with my doctor and nurse. Since they use the plastic speculum, my biggest discomfort is the fear that I'm going to fall off the table, though the bottle brush isn't my favorite thing in the world. Honestly, I'd thought that pelvic exams would be a much bigger deal than they turned out to be. It's not that I like them or anything, but they're not the horrific experience some people make them seem to be.
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Technique is everything with the pelvic. I'm serious, not making an innuendo. It can be done horribly or painlessly, depending on who does it and how tense the person is who undergoes it.
tense muscles = more painful (so trust and joking is good)
downward pressure = good (you could hang a ten-pound weight off the speculum, and it wouldn't hurt)
upward pressure = bad (the urethra ia exquisitely sensitive to pressure, as anyone who's passed a kidney stone can attest)
accidentally clamping the cervix as you close the speculum = bad (very bad)
[ December 28, 2004, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
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It's that way with many things medical, I've found. I've had vaccinations that were incredibly painful, and also had those same vaccines administered when I wasn't even aware that the needle had gone into my arm, let alone that the drug had been administered.
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Yeah. Which makes learning how to do things a real ethical quandry for students and residents -- at least it is if you care for your patients.
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quote: Then, only to be told by my insurance company that they would NOT pay for it being done by the OB-GYN -- that it could be performed by my primary care, and since it could be done there, that would be the only way I could have insurance pay for it!!
That sucks. I think you have a real reason to file a complaint or something. When you're going to have people rooting around in your private parts, you deserve the right to choose who it's going to be.
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Um, why would the insurance company pay for you to have the initial exam done by the OB/GYN but make you go to the primary care guy for the follow-up? That's dumb.
<offtopic even further> I've had cervical biopsies done twice now. Both times, she was all concerned she was hurting me when she took the sample, and really, it just kinda tickled. But I'm pretty ticklish. And my primary care person recommended before I went in the first time that I take 4 advil about an hour beforehand, and said it wouldn't bother me a bit if I did so. She was right, but I felt kinda funny giggling when they were cutting out little bits of me. :/
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"I wasn't even aware that the needle had gone into my arm"
After three weeks in the hospital, getting poked with needles four or five times a day, I told them to just leave off with the "it's just a little pinch" bullshit. It was particuoarly annoying when they would awaken me at 5 AM.
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Belle, I think you're lucky that Natalie is so innocent - you should hear some of the things that my 9- and 10-year-olds at the Y used to say.
I also think it's super cool that Emily is so into medicine.
I've been very lucky with ob/gyns. I've had a lot of pelvics (comes with the territory in fertility treatments). The best, by far, is my current fertility doctor, Dr. Slackman. Feather-light best describes his touch and I am profoundly grateful for that. The first time I met him, I was a bit disconcerted by his kind of soft handshake, but I changed my tune after the exam.
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And with that creepy doctor, why the hell would the nurse LEAVE?! That is NOT COOL at all.
*twitch*
Speaking of sharp things, I finally got my ears pierced last night. Aside from the initial pinch of them going in, they haven't hurt at all (unless I catch them on my shirt when changing). I keep forgetting they're THERE.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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I know it's sexist of me, but I can't go to female ob/gyn's. It's not something that I have against female doctors in general, I 've been to a female primary care and loved her, my kids see female pediatricians, it's just the ob/gyn.
I think it's personal experience that drives that, though. I had my first pelvic at 14. I was a terrified kid. I was having major problems with my cycles and my mom having fought endometriosis and adenomyosis wanted me checked out.
I was so scared I started crying the moment the doctor walked in the room. He was the most gentle, caring, wonderful doctor ever. He just sat and talked to me until I was calmer, introduced his nurse to me, told me she would not leave my side, and the nurse even told me to feel free to squeeze her hand if I got nervous. He explained everything he was going to do and was very careful - I had no pain, just the general "ugh" factor because it's not a comfortable thing to go through.
When I was older, I again sought out a male ob/gyn when my endometriosis was acting up. Then, after I got married, I found one to get birth control pills and looked for a male again. I even turned down practices that had females, in case they would be on call.
Yes, I know that's crazy and ridiculous and sexist - I have no justification except my own preferences.
Then - my doctor refers me to a fertility clinic and they only have two doctors and both are female. I didn't think much of it, figuring we'd be talking about what drugs to put me on, because they would have my records from my ob, with all his notes and ultrasound pictures and laparoscopy reports.
Well, to make a long story short, she did a pelvic that first day in the office. I think what must have happened is what Sara described as clamping the speculum on the cervix - because it was very sharply painful and I spotted blood for three days afterward.
I cancelled all remaining appointments with that clinic and went to a different doctor (my beloved doctor had stopped the ob portion of his practice at the time in order to spend more time with his girls - thank God he came back to it before I got pregnant with the twins) who looked at my records and said "We need to try you on clomid."
That was the doctor that helped me get Emily.
So, I have no logical reason to dislike the idea of being treated by a female ob/gyn, but the mere thought of seeing one makes me nervous.
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I know, and I didn't believe it, but it was TRUE. I have Very Small Ears (I think they must've stopped growing when I was four or something) and she has nearly zero room for error.
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Belle, I understand the personal preference. For my psychologist and psychiatrist, I prefer males. No idea why, but every female person in psych has been a poor practitioner. The two docs I have now are fantastic, and if one of them retires, then I'd look for another male. Personal experience plays a huge role, I think, in what we prefer in a doc.
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I've never seen a therapist that wasn't male.
EDIT though, come to think of it, I've twice had psych evaluations performed by females--once to be a Big Brother and once to adopt. The first one made me slightly uncomfortable, but I don't know that gender played a role.
Come to think of it, I don't guess it would make that much difference. When I was counselled by my pastor, before I went to see the social worker that I see now, it didn't matter and he was male.
So I guess I don't have a preference - it's just that T knows so much about me, I've been seeing her for two years now, and I can't imagine seeing anyone else.
My psychiatrist is female too, but we don't talk about anything except how the meds are working.
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I've noticed that both my psych docs share my sense of humor. And my psychiatrist...he's basically textbook ADHD. He'd called me from his home phone to check on a sleep med for me.
He said, "I can call it in from here."
Me. "Okay, got a pen and paper?"
Him. "It's okay, I'll remember."
Me. "Are you SURE?"
Him. "Hey, I've got a GREAT mind."
Me. "I KNOW you have a great MIND. I was talking about your memory."
posted
Technique is very important in doing pelvics painlessly, as Sara said. What really upsets me, looking back, was how little time they spent teaching that stuff in medical school. I had to learn it on my own, with practice. On real patients. In residency I couldn't even get a nurse to stay in the room with me, much less get any help or feedback from a doctor.
My own pelvic exams were always done by a male doctor, and every exam seemed worse than the one before. I think it'll be awhile before I allow_anyone_to examine me again.
Um, I'm a PCP, and I don't do biopsies. Most of the other internists that I know don't either. I don't understand that insurance company at all.
Oh, and this thread makes me really grateful I'm not that attractive.
quote:Oh, and this thread makes me really grateful I'm not that attractive.
Why?
Mack, about the nurse, I know! Seriously, what could she have been thinking? To me, her leaving would have been more of a danger sign than the doctor's words.
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That's EXACTLY what I thought, like the doc's words were some sort of signal for the nurse to leave for him to carry out a creepy plan.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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All of my therapists were female. I would never be comfortable discussing some of those nasty things with a male. Ew!
I know I'm sexist. I admit it. I have no problem with that. It's also based on experience. Bad ones with men. We'll leave it at that. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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