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I have been encouraged by adults in my life to start going out on dates, and hopefully have a relationship. However, I am reluctant to do so. I probably will have little spare time between my classes and an internship I hope to get, and as an introvert I would like to spend some of it in solitude. I have been told that now, while I am in college (which is a very large dating pool), is an excellent time to experiment with relationships. Some people have also expressed concern that I am avoiding relationships because I am afraid of them, and I must admit this is partially true. The other problem is I just don't develop attractions to people easily.
Some of you were married by the time you were my age. Some of you didn't start dating until you were even older than I am. What do you all think? Will I be hopelessly behind my peers if I don't start dating now? Should I do it to get over my fears? And finally, if I ought to be dating, should I go ahead and date someone I have no attraction to if I can't find an available person I do like?
Edit to clarify: I am a woman, and I am interested in men.
posted
Wait till you find someone you like. If you haven't found someone you really enjoy being around, then I'd say you aren't ready to date. I didn't start wanting to date until I was 17. And didn't actually start dating till... well till I became close to Raia Which was last spring/early summer. I'm 18 now and have been going out with Raia for about 7 months. Wait until you find the right person, then I think you'll find yourself wanting to give it a shot. And it doesn't have to be the stereotypical 'dates' everyone thinks of when they think of dating. You know movie and formal dinner kinda thing. Raia and I started with things like Ultimate Frisbee and CTF games (with large groups of friends) and just watching movies together at each others houses.
posted
Will I be hopelessly behind my peers if I don't start dating now?
No. Unless you calculate your status in life by how many people you've slept with.
Should I do it to get over my fears?
Well, you shouldn't avoid it because you're afraid of it.
And finally, if I ought to be dating, should I go ahead and date someone I have no attraction to if I can't find an available person I do like?
Oh, of course not! That wouldn't be any fun.
Don't belive what the sitcoms and stupid movies tell you... dating does not have to be a stiff and painful process. Sure, some people enjoy spending several awkward hours eating an expensive meal with a stranger, but a lot of people don't. There are lots of other good ways to find people you're interested in, places where the people around you share common interests and enjoy being with each other.
So don't kill yourself with worry about your lack of Official Dates, but at the same time, keep yourself open to meeting new friends of either sex. You'll find that the absolute best way to find someone to date is to not actively look for "someone to date" at all. Push yourself to get out of your shell and make friends, and eventually one of your new friends will be someone you'd like to date. And sleep with!
Posts: 1681 | Registered: Jun 2004
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I think you should wait to date until YOU feel comfortable with doing so and/or are interested in a long-term relationship. (Or until you happen to meet someone who you really want to date, should that come first.)
I know this will put me in the minority here, but I don't believe there is a particular benefit to casual dating. Regardless, I really think this is not something you should do because other people think you should; it's something you should do because YOU want to (or think you should).
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I wouldn't go on dates if you're not interested, unless it's one of those "we both want to be friends but sometimes it's fun to mix it up a bit" kinds of dates. I've only dated two guys (only one semi-seriously), and last year (when I was 19) I went on exactly one date. I don't think it's a big deal. I think it's more important to be happy and comfortable with who you are, and when you get that far, the right person will come along. Posts: 119 | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote:Will I be hopelessly behind my peers if I don't start dating now?
No. Unless you calculate your status in life by how many people you've slept with.
I'm not worried about being behind in the body count. I'm just concerned about my social awkwardness--most people go through the awkward dating in high school, and I haven't yet.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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IMO, dating is awkward in high school primarily because most things are awkward at that age!
Sure, there will be a learning curve at any age, but I think it will be shorter if you are an adult, rather than a hormonal teen.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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This is tough and depends on you. You would do well to have a certain amount of social skill in dealing with people in general and the opposite sex in particular. Dating definitely helps with that. You become more aware of your behavior and how it affects other people and how you are seen. Sometimes too much emphasis is placed in our society on appearance, but you still need to have a modicum of awareness of how you look to people. Interacting with people will often make it easier to get things done because you will have more access to local resources and ideas.
Also, not dating is a way to wall yourself off from people. You can feel fine not dating because you don't know what you're missing. I think dating is a valuable experience that gives you social skills that you can use in other areas. It's like the difference between knowing how to ride a bike or not, or knowing how to drive or not. More opportunities (emotional, social and intellectual) seem to open up with a dating skill set. But it does open you up to be hurt more as well.
You shouldn't be pushed into dating, but you shouldn't be dead set against it. Just keep your eyes open for opportunities, and don't turn down all the opportunities that are presented.
Posts: 1423 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:I'm not worried about being behind in the body count. I'm just concerned about my social awkwardness--most people go through the awkward dating in high school, and I haven't yet.
Yeah, but see, that's where the really clever people have the advantage... they just skip the awkward part. They go out and make friends, and when they start to feel a little attracted to one of them, they start hanging out more together. Then, a while down the road, they realize, "Oh! I really like this person! We should, like, officially go out or something!"
Then, long after they first met and started hanging out together, they go out on a "date", say dinner and a movie. The whole time, they're giggling with each other about how silly and overhyped the whole thing is, and discussing the possibility of shooting wads of paper at the other customers unnoticed.
quote:Don't belive what the sitcoms and stupid movies tell you...
so true... TV and movies really give you a warped view of dating and relationships that make it seem like there's something wrong with you if you don't date a lot (and a sleep around)... I got married at 21 but I don't think i've really been on an official 'date'. Make friends with people and get to know them in their own right rather than a potential date and you'll be right...and you can see what qualities you'd like in a potential partner without having to be in a relationship you don't want to be in.
that said, there is certain things about interating with a partner that may only be gotten through exploring a relationship specifically...but you're young and i don't think there's anything to worry about! Enjoy life and don't get hung up on this, do what makes you happy rather than what other people think you 'should' be doing.
Posts: 46 | Registered: Dec 2004
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There's lots of people who don't date until later in life. And you shouldn't feel the need to force things if there is no one around that you want to ask out.
I do think it is important to try and be social though, meet people. Then if you do find someone you are interested in, something might happen.
So I wouldn't be so concerned about "not dating" as "not being social".
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Jonny, the meaning used in Shakespeare (or so I am told) is such that if you meant it that way, you obviously think that 19 years without sex has left me so repressed that I need to take drastic measures to correct it (and also hopefully make some money in the process).
Alcon, if it matters, nunnery/convent would be the correct term to use for me, not monastary.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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There IS a skill involved in dating. But from what you've said so far, I don't think you're interested in developing that skill; you don't consider it fun or worthwhile. (Note: I'm not talking about sex, here; I'm talking about certain people skills and socialization techniques which are essential to enjoyable relationships.)
So I wouldn't rush into dating. You won't learn anything, because you don't want to learn anything, and you're unlikely to find somebody you actually want to be with if you're only looking grudgingly in the first place.
Like somebody first, and then think about thinking about dating.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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See? I told you rivka was a pre-vert. And boy, haven't nunneries done a 180 in the past 400 years?
Posts: 1423 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Shi, start dating when you're ready. And I don't mean mentally ready or maturity ready. I mean any-reason ready. Start when you're 35, the age I'm going to encourage my children to start.
Nineteen isn't too old and I wish I'd been as mature as you are when I was your age.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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It had the current meaning back in Shakespeare's time as well.
Shakespeare deliberately chose a word that could be taken two different ways. He was clever that way. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:*feels rather bad for being 26 and not having a proper date*
Ah, someone to sympathize with.
If one's suitability as a potential partner could be expressed in economic terms, I'd have no assets and be deep in debt.
Posts: 1515 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I had 1 child and another on his way when I was 19. I wouldn't trade a second of my life for "what might have been". Just now I tucked my kids in for bed and my youngest (5) told me he wanted to be just like me when he grew up. It left me, even now, in tears. It isn't my place to tell you what you should be doing, because I don't know. I do know my life, and my family is all that matters. The rest is just background.
Posts: 36 | Registered: Nov 2003
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I've only dated one guy, he's the guy I'm dating now and the guy I intend to marry. However, I've dated him twice.
The first time we dated was the summer after my sophomore year. He liked me and I liked the idea of dating and him liking me. It was horrible. The whole time I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to and I would feel ill for days before I was supposed to do something with him. After a while we stopped dating because it was obvious I didn't want to (this translates to: I kept on making excuses to avoid getting together and eventually he caught on). As a result I decided that I wasn't mature enough to date.
Over the next year we became much better friends and the next May he told me he liked me. I was still scared from the last encounter and said so. We began hanging out a lot and eventually started "dating". We've been very happy together ever since.
The point of my entirely too long story is that you're not going to enjoying dating until you do it with someone you like. When it's not so much dating as spending time with the person you would most like to spend time with, that's when it's fun. This obviously doesn't hold with everyone, but I get the feeling we're pretty similar in this way. So I would wait and let dating happen on it's own, not work at making it happen.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Bernard proposed to me when I was still 18. He was two weeks shy of 19. He's my first 'real' boyfriend (as in the first one I actually formed a deep connection with instead of, you know, sharing lunchables in elementary school). The really funny thing is, I had sworn off boys just weeks before I met him.
Trust me, dear. You won't be stunted (although many rather shallow classmates of mine just assumed I was homosexual because I hadn't dated anyone until my senior year), just do what makes you feel comfortable.
And on the last question of the first post... I once told someone I loved him when I didn't. To this day, I still regret it, although we've since become good friends. Don't date someone for the sake of feeling 'normal', since everyone's interpretation of 'normal' varies from person to person.
Posts: 873 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Screw 'em. They can't tell you what to do with your life. There's nothing wrong with not dating until you find someone you actually want to BE WITH.
Hang in there, Shigo, I'm hanging with you. Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I married a man I'd never dated, and my sister did the same (although she had the luxury of at least meeting him in person and being friends with him for several months). One of my best friends had her first date at 28 and married the guy at 33. She's never dated anyone but him, never kissed or held hands or anything with anyone else. There's no one way to go about doing anything.
I would suggest, however, that you explore socializing - hanging out with people you genuinely like who are involved in things that you would like to do anyway. Not for the purpose of getting a significant other, but because it will still help you develop better social skills while you have fun. It's also likely that you will just happen to meet people along the way whom you would enjoy dating, and really, that's much better than dating random strangers.
Having said that, it's really got to happen in a way that you're comfortable with. Not saying you shouldn't step outside your comfort zone a bit - that can be a good thing. But doing something that you see as pointless? Why bother?
Edit: Shigosei's a guy? Oh dagnabbit! Edit: Shigosei's a girl! I had it right! Yippee!!!!
posted
Shi - I'm pretty much in the same boat as you(19, haven't really dated much). My grandma was actually telling me to start dating last year(we were driving across country together and ran out of things to talk about... but still, it's my grandma!). I told her I don't really have time to be dating, which I'm not sure is completely true. There's probably a few more reasons than just that.
For one thing, I go to a school where the M:F ratio is like 10:1(it's a video game programming degree ). Sure, I meet people at other places, but I can never get to know them well enough because I spend so much time at school(and I need my alone time).
If I don't have time to just relax and read/play video games/watch tv I go crazy. I honestly don't know how some people spend so much time with their boyfriend/girlfriend... Well, some people I know anyway. I can understand if you really love the person, but a lot of people I know just do it for the sex, which is fine I guess. It's just that they're missing out on so much more in life by seeking sex every waking hour of the day(yeah, I know some pervs ).
But anyway, I don't really care what anyone thinks(as far as what I should do with my dating life at this point in time). I'll start dating when I meet somebody I want to date. You shouldn't let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want to do.
Posts: 204 | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote: This is tough and depends on you. You would do well to have a certain amount of social skill in dealing with people in general and the opposite sex in particular. Dating definitely helps with that. You become more aware of your behavior and how it affects other people and how you are seen. Sometimes too much emphasis is placed in our society on appearance, but you still need to have a modicum of awareness of how you look to people. Interacting with people will often make it easier to get things done because you will have more access to local resources and ideas.
Also, not dating is a way to wall yourself off from people. You can feel fine not dating because you don't know what you're missing. I think dating is a valuable experience that gives you social skills that you can use in other areas. It's like the difference between knowing how to ride a bike or not, or knowing how to drive or not. More opportunities (emotional, social and intellectual) seem to open up with a dating skill set. But it does open you up to be hurt more as well.
You shouldn't be pushed into dating, but you shouldn't be dead set against it. Just keep your eyes open for opportunities, and don't turn down all the opportunities that are presented.
posted
You're probably quite the opposite from me, Shigosei. While you don't develop attractions easily, I've never had that "problem," which really isn't a problem at all. I guess the easy thing to say is, "don't go out with anybody you're not interested in." But chances are, as you develop more friendships with people, more and more guys are going to like you. So even if you don't actively look for a date, you'll still have to make a choice on the subject.
And, although I don't have much experience with dating, I don't think there's anything wrong with going out with somebody you're not all that interested in to see what it's like. You can usually come up with somethign interesting to talk about at least, and don't feel too bad if you have to give a poor guy the "let's just be friends" talk. It might hurt him, but it's probably for his own good. (Like beating up my little brother was so many times. He's grown into quite a young man. He even has a decent haircut now!)
I think that you should spend a lot of time with people you enjoy, doing activities (These days I meet most of my friends through Band or Ultimate. For me, classes were never really a good environment for meeting people to hang out with long-term, but I've found tons of friends through activities. It sounds like you'll be really busy, but with the things you are doing, there should be some opportunity for social interaction. So, even though you do like some alone time, try to make it out to hang out with people from work, school, church, or wherever on a regular basis. And if you end up going out sith somebody, you'll probably have fun. If not, you'll probably have fun.
Also, you won't be "behind" if you find somebody to start with who knows that. And even with that, let social interaction (with others) lead toward something else. When somebody likes you, they're not going to stop just because you've never dated before.
quote:JonnyNSB: You shouldn't be pushed into dating, but you shouldn't be dead set against it. Just keep your eyes open for opportunities, and don't turn down all the opportunities that are presented.
Yeah. Werd.
Edit: sorry, misquoted.. Werd, JonnyNotSoBravo!
[ January 14, 2005, 04:04 AM: Message edited by: Nato ]
Posts: 1592 | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
I'm going on a date this saturday, first one in close to a year (I'm 20). Before that I've probably been on maybe three dates, in high school whenever I dated someone I tended to stay with them for a couple years.
The downside of that is when you get out of high school after having been with a girl for the majority of the time is that I'm somewhat lacking in knowledge when it comes dating in the real world. Plus I absolutely suck at meeting people.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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I really wish there weren't so many social pushes toward early dating. I got a little neurotic when I was "sweet 16 and never been kissed." I thought that the mere presence of such a statement implied that there was something wrong with me. I then went through the next - oh - four or five years constantly obsessed with the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend. I was so embarrased to have to be 18 and never-been-kissed, then 19 and never-been-kissed, then 20 and never-been-kissed. I worried about it so much that when I was 21 and a guy showed some interest in me (even though there was nothing mutual about it) I was like "oh boy - this is my chance!" Let me tell you - there's nothing I regret more. I only dated him for about a month, but it lead to all kinds of unpleasantness and embarrasment and, oh man, who made up that stupid saying anyway?
Being a smart, collected, confident woman is far more important than being "normal" in the warped American dating scene. And I can tell you, Shig, that you are all of the former qualities. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
I don't think there is a set age for dating. I don't think you will really be awkward if you don't date at a young age. Really, dating is just a type of social interaction. If you interact with people in other social contexts, you will get a better idea of how to act in any relationship (including dating). As someone else mentioned, early relationships are often awkward simply because young adolescents are often awkward in any social relationship.
Are there things particular to dating relationships that you might not pick up without dating? Sure, things like kissing, planning for anniversaries and so forth...but its not that tough to pick that up later on.
If you don't feel ready to date, you can always just try to become friends with girls. While it is not the same as dating, it might help get you insights that might help you when you do get into a relationship later on. Of course never expect to really understand the female gender. All that will do is frustrate you.
But if you see a girl you like, ask her out. Dating is not quite as scary as it seems when you first start. Just start out thinking of it as spending time with a very close friend...because really, for a relationship to work you really do need to be friends anyway.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
Quidscribis, you had it right. I'm a girl. But mixing up genders is an easy mistake to make on the internet and my username is androgynous.
Thanks everyone for your input. I will try to be more open to dating if the opportunity should arise with a guy I like. I'm not actually worried about the socializing part--the previous semester in college has been great for my social life. Learning to get along with the opposite sex isn't a problem either, since I tend to prefer the company of guys and don't find them particularly mysterious or hard to get along with. So if I find someone I like, I'll try to figure out how to start a relationship (probably just by asking him to do stuff with me). If not, then I'll just live my life the way I'm living it now, which is working out very well for me.
Having a friendship evolve into a dating relationship has actually always been my ideal. Zeugma, your scenario where two friends just start hanging out more often is always how I envisioned a relationship starting. The idea of going out with a guy I don't know well seems almost foreign to me.
quote:If I don't have time to just relax and read/play video games/watch tv I go crazy. I honestly don't know how some people spend so much time with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
This is one of the reasons I'm scared of dating. I'm afraid my rational control will go right out of the window (I've seen it happen!) and I'll do things I regret, like hang out with my boyfriend instead of studying for my test the next day.
quote:And if you end up going out sith
I didn't know dating could turn me to the dark side! But yeah, I don't really meet people in classes either. I usually hang out with my church friends or my dorm friends or my Aikido friends.
quote:But from what you've said so far, I don't think you're interested in developing that skill; you don't consider it fun or worthwhile.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean. You're right that I'm not interested in developing dating skills for the sake of developing them, nor do I view dating as a game to get good at. I do consider it somewhat worthwhile as means to an end (immediate objective: have fun; ultimate objective: find someone to spend my life with).
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I even never really dated Vinnie (my husband). We were in the same choral group, which means we spent time together. And sometimes since we loved the same movies and no one else in the group liked them, we were just the two of us in a theater, and after that, well, we were hungry, so we ate somewhere. All this "officialness" of dating always strucked me as a bizarre American thing. No need to struggle for this. Oh, and I never kissed someone else than him, and I met him at 18 (but was 19 when we first kissed ). I admit I was a little worried, but now I'm glad I waited for him.
[ January 14, 2005, 03:01 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
And I'll make sure to get all my quotes attributed to the right person this time. And I knew it was JNSB too! I was excited to see him posting again, as I haven't in a little while.. but then I went and screwed it all up! It must be my little obsession with putting the author by most quotes.
quote:Alcon: Raia and I started with things like Ultimate Frisbee and CTF games (with large groups of friends) and just watching movies together at each others houses.
You two sound awesome. Ultimate is sweet.
quote:Shigosei: I didn't know dating could turn me to the dark side! But yeah, I don't really meet people in classes either. I usually hang out with my church friends or my dorm friends or my Aikido friends.
Jeez, it must be make-fun-of-Nate day today! Anyways, it sounds like you're on the right track, Shigosei!
Posts: 1592 | Registered: Jan 2001
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Shigosei, I see you've got all the answer you needed, but when did that ever stop me from posting anyway?!
Yeah, what they said: don't start dating for the sake of dating. That usually happens when you like somebody's looks but don't know much about him/her. And then it's probably weird to stop dating them when you realize what kind of person they are (not bad perhaps, just not suitable for you). Don't do this mistake either: if you think you know him but you actually don't and what you find isn't what you seek, don't be afraid to get out of it. The longer it goes, the more embarrasing it can get.
And don't worry about your age. You're young, girl! It's not like you're 60! Although, if you find your love at 60 I think it's worth the waiting - but I'm the romantic kind of guy anyway, so don't mind me! I wasn't that much interested in dating anyone until my second year at the university - I was 20. Before that it was all physics, programming, computer games, basketball & karate. Who had the time for girls?! Sheesh! And I had my first - and only, to the date - girlfriend shortly after turning 22. She was 22 also and I was her first boyfriend. I didn't feel a bit ashamed about being late to the dating game, 'cause for me it's just not a game, it's something very serious. Not saying everybody has to take this as serious as I do, though, there are ways and ways to deal with it. And anyway I didn't go on a "date" with her, we knew each other for almost 3 years and I knew she liked me and at one point thought: "Why am I spending this much time with her? Just because we're friends?" I decided that wasn't really the answer, that I really liked her at that point, and we got together. That's all.
And you can always ask Sara to play the matchmaker and find you an interesting Hatracker! Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Hey! I'm taking credit for at least one Hatrack engagement and one Hatrack marriage, so let me matchmake, too! Sara, I shall forever be in your lovely shadow
Seriously, date whenever you feel like it. I didn't date until much laterthan most of my peers, and it wasn't a big deal. My grandfather didn't marry until he was forty years old (and he was not a womanizer at all before that).
When you're ready, you'll know it. Besides, there may be opportunities for going out with groups of friends, which can be fun and less date-like than one-on-one things. But they still give you a chance to hone your people skiils. In any case, don't over-analyze. You'll be fine.
I certainly hope not! Because my oldest son is 19 and has not yet been on a date. (other than group outing). But he is just shy, and is taking longer to develop the necessary communication skills to feel comfortable in a one-on-one situation.
However, he IS working on that -- and I think that is important -- is you are shy sometimes you must force yourself into communication so you can learn these skills.
posted
Just wanted to pop in to say that I agree with Zeugma's description of a good date. I have only had a couple of dates with my husband and those happened quite a while after we'd been friends...actually, I think they happened after the day that we consider our anniversary. In other words, we were already "together" in that we spent alot of time together and thought of the other as our boy/girlfriend, but we'd never actually been on a date.
However, I don't personally see anything wrong with doing something fun with a guy you aren't attracted to at first, as long as he's a good guy, because you can develop attractions after you find someone you have something in common with. Just don't let him kiss you good-night unless you really want him too. Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I have a more "theoretical" question. Shig, I hope you don't mind me using this thread for it - I'll start another if you do mind.
Here goes: I've heard that intelligent people usually start their dating life later then "normal" people. I don't have any statistics or articles to support that (I've heard this a long time ago and don't even remember the source). But one of the "reasons" that were given was that, as Olivetta said, they tend to "over-analize" things. "Is she good for me?"; "She has qualities x, y, z and defects a, b, c. Can I bare her defects?"; "Could she think I'm good for her?". Stuff like that. I don't know if that's true - as statistics go, I mean, not for each and every person - or if it's just another urban legend. If anyone has any knowledge on this please share it. I'd google for articles but I'm not quite sure WHAT to google! Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Maybe we could match your theory to the theory of I don't remember who about marrying fast ? I mean, if you analyse everything, when he/she's the one, you know it and therefore marry ASAP.
[ January 14, 2005, 09:45 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Yeah, that would sound good to me, only... you see, I tend to over-analyze and I think that there's little chance that there's this "perfect match" for anyone and that every relationship means hard work. Or if there is a "one" for me, chances are she's somewhere in Australia. Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I became interested in dating at 14- when my parents broke up, which was not for no reason. I think very young dating is pathological so I can't really advise you on what is normal. Are you totally disinterested in relationships or is it a combination of fear and being-as a female- not traditionally in control of the dating process? Have you turned down dates?
[ January 14, 2005, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: Trisha the Severe Hottie ]
Posts: 666 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Having dated in high school and college and then again in my 30s, the experiences were so different that I don’t think you’d be at all at a disadvantage not having dated as a teen. Date because you meet someone you want to spend time with, not because you reach a certain age.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Perfect doesn't really mean perfect, you know I mean, I know Vinnie has his faults (and I have mine !) and they sometimes drive me crazy but still, I know he's the one for me. As a matter of facts, I always thought that no one could live with someone perfect. How boring ! Love is a challenge, that's true, but that's what makes life interesting. And that's why Vinnie is perfect for me and probably wouldn't for anyone else.
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Which was last spring/early summer. I'm 18 now and have been going out with Raia for about 7 months. Wait until you find the right person, then I think you'll find yourself wanting to give it a shot. And it doesn't have to be the stereotypical 'dates' everyone thinks of when they think of dating. You know movie and formal dinner kinda thing. Raia and I started with things like Ultimate Frisbee and CTF games (with large groups of friends) and just watching movies together at each others houses.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Yep, that's me. The resident pervert.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
). Sure, I meet people at other places, but I can never get to know them well enough because I spend so much time at school(and I need my alone time).![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I didn't know dating could turn me to the dark side! But yeah, I don't really meet people in classes either. I usually hang out with my church friends or my dorm friends or my Aikido friends.![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
). I admit I was a little worried, but now I'm glad I waited for him.![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
