posted
I'm borrowing this idea from another forum (that borrowed it from another forum, et cetera). It's a very simple game but I think it's well worth playing. (Having said that, I will not be participating, but I think given my circumstances that's justified. My life is simply too unstable to handle dating and I don't have the emotional energy for it anyway, even if I was presently interested in dating, which I'm not. Those of you who know what's been going on for the last month or so will, I think, be willing to concede this point. However, I will gladly be the scorekeeper. )
All you have to do is this: the next time you meet someone you'd like to date, ask the person out. If they say "no," then you increment your rejection counter and move on to the next person you'd like to date (after a suitable sulking period, if you wish). First person to six rejections wins. The best part about the game is that it's impossible to lose, because not only do you win if you get to six rejections, you also win when someone says yes, because then you've got yourself a hot date.
So. Having loosely scanned the romance-related threads this week, it looks like a couple of people already have at least one. Why don't we call Valentine's Day the start date and go from there?
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, I think we first need to define what qualifies as a "date" -- because I've had this particular conversation before....
Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you did, twink, I'd be at two. But don't change it for me, because I'm still not playing. Not in the mood for this kind of game. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
If I recall correctly, part of the point of this game is to encourage people to get off their duff and ask people out by providing an incentive (getting six rejections).
And Jay, another part of the point (though obviously not enforced) is to ask out people you'd want to say yes.
You know, we really should just start a Hatrack Velvet Room .
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged |
A clarification: To have your rejection counter incremented, you have to post at least a little bit about the circumstances of each rejection. And I, as referee, have to buy your story. Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
fugu gets it. Edit: Though I would say, dude, that getting people to get off their duff by providing incentive is the entire point, not just part of it. (Alternatively, you know, I could always just subscribe at Ars and get VR posting access. )
quote:I honestly don't know six guys I'd be willing to go on a date with here in Dallas.
posted
I changed my mind. I don't want to play, and it's for the same reason that I don't sport fish. I just don't understand the catch and release mentality. Why catch it if you can't eat it... Posts: 1480 | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Who said anything about catch and release? If you wind up in a relationship, then you shouldn't be complaining about not getting to six rejections. Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Okay, I'd like to play, but I have an issue.
I don't like asking out. It isn't because of anything sexist, and I've certainly done it before. There is a little bit of fear of rejection, but there's something larger than that.
There is only one scenario that would provide a positive result, based on experience: He likes me, would like to ask me out, is planning on it, and just hasn't gotten around to it yet.
If he doesn't like me, he'll say no or go out of obligation. Neither is good.
If he does like me, he'll ask me out himself. If he's too shy or can't work up the courage to ask me out, then I'm stating my personal preference that I'd rather not date him. I like confidence, and to my own surprise, I kind of like macho. I like being pampered. I don't want to have to ask him out, because that just means that for the rest of eternity, I'll have to start things - think of stuff to do, places to go, whatever. If something is going to happen, I'll have to make it happen, and I don't want that. I HATE that.
Obviously this is an issue. I'm okay with that. I'm fine with compromising on a dozen different things, but I've learned from experience that I can't on that. I just hate it.
So, long story short, there's only one good scenario: He likes me, intends to ask me out, but hasn't found a good moment or caught me alone quite yet. What are the chances of that happening?
Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jan 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Katie, think of it as the guy being someone who just hasn't realized he wants to go out with you yet, for whatever reason (maybe he's been very busy recently, for instance) .
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote:I like confidence, and to my own surprise, I kind of like macho. I like being pampered. I don't want to have to ask him out, because that just means that for the rest of eternity, I'll have to start things - think of stuff to do, places to go, whatever. If something is going to happen, I'll have to make it happen, and I don't want that. I HATE that.
Clearly you and I can never date.
Is there no middle ground between "he likes you" and "he doesn't like you?" I mean, what if he hasn't made up his mind yet because he barely knows you? Then you go on a date and find out if you like each other. That's sort of the point, isn't it?
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Twinky: Nonono, you like music, you like things, you're articulate and passionate about things. It's not the same - you wouldn't make me think of things to all the time, right? I can just imagine me coming up with, um, quilt shows and stake road shows. You'd come up with an alternative plan, right?
Bev: I had a somewhat salacious comment here, then decided it was weird. Sorry.
[ February 17, 2005, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: Lady Jane ]
Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jan 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
LJ, can you accept asking people you don't know very well out in a getting to know you sense rather than in a date sense? For instance, how about if you meet someone new, chit chat a bit, and then say "Hey I had a really great time talking to you, how about we get together sometime?" and give him your number. That way it puts it into his head that you're intereted, and he can call you and ask you out if he wants to. You count it as a no if he never calls, because you put yourself out there and took the risk.
I'm talking about doing this with people who you don't know well enough already that they would have considered asking you out, much less have decided one way or the other if they liked you yet.
An aside: Although others have been nick-naming you kat to avoid confusion, I think I should get to call you LJ. It rather amuses me to look like I'm addressing myself, even though I can't be because I never refer to myself as LJ. (Not that I mind when other people do, it's just not how I think of myself.)
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Kat, don't worry, I took the comment as humorous, and my reply was meant as playful. It is hard for intent to come across in writing. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Twinky...it would have to be catch and release for me. I don't think my wife wants any trophies umm....mounted...in our house...<<<SORRY...I couldn't help it...>>>>
Posts: 1480 | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think I just don't like Texan guys. Either that or I am extremely picky. It may be the second.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Maybe I should move to Dallas if and when I find myself more interested in dating. Plus I'd even be a foreigner there!
quote:Nonono, you like music, you like things, you're articulate and passionate about things. It's not the same - you wouldn't make me think of things to all the time, right? I can just imagine me coming up with, um, quilt shows and stake road shows. You'd come up with an alternative plan, right?
Of course I would. I'm just attracted to the same things you are (which is to say, confidence and stuff), and I don't like making all of the decisions.
And yes, that sort of thing will count. Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:But they aren't DATES because we aren't talking romantically-inclined I'd-like-to-have-a-relationship-with-you-beyond-friendship types of outings.
Change that to "I'd like to find out if I want to have a relationship with you," and that can be the requirement for the game.
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Do online rejections count? And do the details have to be posted? Or can they be privately emailed to you, twinky?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
It depends, and no, the details don't necessarily have to be posted if that makes you uncomfortable. I don't like the idea of counting online rejections, though, because part of the point of online dating sites is to remove the need for people to do the things that the Six Rejections game tries to get them to do.
My, that was a cumbersome sentence. Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Absolutely. That was by no means a ruling, more of an "I'll mull it over and listen to what people say, but here's what I think."
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
rivka is just now re-entering the dating scene after a divorce. She hasn't had a first date since she was, I think she said, 18. As such, I think that she should get credit for baby steps. She posted a thread about registering for the online dating thing in the last month while you were mostly incogneto, and it was really a big deal, and a brave move for her.
Also, her dating pool is severely limited by her desire to date someone within her same religious group. I believe she said the eligible pool in her area is pretty small. It would be very difficult for her to find the requisit number of rejections without resorting to online dating.
That being said, I'm not sure she should be able to count just anything as a rejection... I don't know how her dating sites work, so I'm unclear on how it should be judged. She definitely needs to be the one putting herself out there... I guess you have to make the call on that based on the situation, I just think that rejections stemming from on-line sites should count for her as long as she was the one making the overture. In spirit, it's probably as hard for her as it would be for me to walk up to a guy in a bar and ask him out.
quote:I guess you have to make the call on that based on the situation, I just think that rejections stemming from on-line sites should count for her as long as she was the one making the overture.
But... but... the slippery slope!
Seriously, though, I can probably deal with that. In any case, anyone who wants to play but doesn't want to post even a brief one-liner (like Paul's above, for instance, which since I'm passingly familiar with his circumstances is more than enough for me to award him a point) can feel free to email me. I'll start tallying points, and can even post running totals if people want me to.
quote:Does that mean I'm too picky?
Possibly.
(It depends on the guys you know. )
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
See, I read this and the competetive part of me says, "Hey! A contest I could totally win!" Then the rest of me says, "But, dude man, you've been single for the past few years because of a genuine disinterest. Sure there've been some cool girls, but really, who has the time? The inclination? Besides, if she says no you'll ruin your 100% record "
And, really, it's all about keeping that record.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
Are you going to be in Waterloo this summer? Because I can promise you that this summer is going to be EPIC.
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
I defend on the 12th and then I'm done. Hell, I don't really have any finals, though I have to get something together for publication before the end of April. Shouldn't be too had. Since my lease doesn't end until the end of August I plan on farting around and living of my miserly horde of cash. I'll probably get some silly job that helps put the day in too.
In short. Bring on the EPIC! (no girls allowed)
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
Nonono, you like music, you like things, you're articulate and passionate about things. It's not the same - you wouldn't make me think of things to all the time, right? I can just imagine me coming up with, um, quilt shows and stake road shows. You'd come up with an alternative plan, right?![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
