quote:I'm also suprised by your position on the cats. It seems to me that if you didn't have them you could live with your mum for a bit and save 1 months rent and then have reduced your monthly outgoings in term of cat food / insurance etc. All in all a good thing. Also having cats with small children is a bad idea for medical reasons. So what are the options for finding the cats a new place? I really think you should consider this seriously. To me your loyalty to the cats as a priority has to fall much lower on the list than financial independence, housing, food, family, new job etc.
We have asked around. No one out there could take the cats; everyone we know out here who we'd trust them with either has cats already, is allergic, or doesn't have room. As I said, we will NOT allow them to be separated (they're very close) or euthanized. That amounts to animal cruelty in our eyes, if we're just getting rid of them for our own convenience. Anyway, the cats aren't a big expense if we're not boarding them; total outlay on food and litter for a month is about $12 (they eat Target brand food, etc.) My mom agrees with us on this; she would never suggest we separate them or abandon them to a shelter, having three cats of her own.
As for being bad for a kid's health, nope. Having pets can actually be good for a kid's immune system and allergies, and we've trained the baby to stay away from the food and water and litter, as well as to give the kitties "nice touch" (we have used that as a keyword since she was 4 months old; she will immediately stop being rough and pet nicely if you tell her, "Nice touch, Emma!") The cats, especially the older one, love her, and come play or cuddle with her, and have NEVER approached her with claws outstretched or even nipped at her like they do us; they seem to realize that she's just a "kitten".
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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KQ, I'm glad to hear that your issue is resolved. I had no advice or suggestions to add and couldn't bring myself to post sympathies without adding something useful.
Posts: 1480 | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:I'm suprised how hard Jeff is finding it to get a job. Sales / admin assistant sounds fairly broad ...
It is, and it's mostly not sales at all, but more kind of a doing-whatever-needs-doing position. Jeff has a wonderful skill set-- and little experience, and no degree. People don't seem to be able to look past that out here, but out there, they seem to be willing to. Go figure.
quote:kq, is the city in your profile correct? Do you still live in Richardson TX right now?
Are you close enough to Dallas that he can drive there for work? (I'm not familiar enough with Texas geography)
Doing a quick search on Monster turned up 689 jobs in the "Administrative" category and more than 1000 in "Sales" in and around Dallas.
Having worked in the sales and marketing industry, I am pretty confident that a job in some sort of sales can be had nearly anywhere, and helping my mom with her human resources consulting business has given me a pretty good handle on the job search and hire process.
The problem is that no one wants Jeff for an admin assitant out here (not enough office experience) and every sales position he's interviewed for either wants more experience (he had a half a year as a car salesman while we struggled and struggled and struggled) or pays commission only (which we've learned is not something that works for us.)
We really feel that this job is the answer to our prayers, and a direct result of our paying tithing, so we need to go with it.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Also, when Andrew and I moved down here from NYC 4.5 years ago, we saved a lot of money on our move. We rented a U-Haul and hired movers to load and unload it. We probably had more stuff that you (I'm guessing - we have a ridiculous amount of stuff), so you might not even need movers. Maybe you could get people from your church to help?
That's what we're doing, but Budget, not U-Haul (which is freakin' expensive.) We're packing our own things and people are coming from the ward to help load the few big things we have and carry boxes downstairs. And Jeff will be towing the car on a trailer; it's only an additional $35 to tow the car, as opposed to additional costs of me driving it.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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kq, I'm glad you have things resolved. If it helps any, I know a bit how you feel re your husband's job situation. When Mr. Opera lost his job, some people in my family just couldn't seem to believe that he couldn't find a job near our hometown *despite* his degree. He works in IT, which as you know is a hugely broad field, but we also had specific salary requirements, etc. We ended up picking up and moving 2 hours away and it ended up being a good decision. Some people in my family still resent us for the move, but we were the ones who had to pay the bills, and Mr. Opera was the one who would have had to go to work at a job he hated every day. Good luck!
quote:Seriously, you'd be leaving behind whatever support network you have to live in a place where you have no history.
Actually, um, I lived there for 20 of my 22 years, have all my family, and a big chunk of my friends out there, and have contacts through the Church out there.
SO, thank you for the understanding and support. That's it on the nose. (Not that Jeff hasn't done work that he hated before to make ends meet; we both have. But I'd hate to commit him to something that wouldn't allow him a chance to go to school again eventually.)
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We've been there before, and know the limits and regulations. Our bishop holds to them very strictly, because he does not have a very big welfare budget; a lot of people are out of work in our ward right now.
The things that the church can help with are:
-Food. This is the thing that it's easiest to get help with, food and basic hygeine supplies. The Bishop's Storehouse is there for anyone who doesn't have money for food. We have accepted this help in the past and "paid" for it by working at the Storehouse and assisting others.
-Employment. Jeff has already completed the course the Employment Center offers in job-hunting and had them help with his resume. While these techniques have helped him "sell himself" and perfect his resume, none of the opportunities listed with them have actually worked out, either being filled by the time he learned of them, or not paying nearly enough.
-Rent and utilities on an emergency basis. When there is absolutely no other option (you are supposed to go to family first, if possible) the Church can help with rent and utilities, but not other expenses. We have accepted this help in the past as well, but it's something that takes resources away from other people in the ward, so it's hard for us to do that.
-Fast offering funds can also be used to pay counselling fees at LDS Family Services for those in need of therapy who can't afford it, although the availability of the LDSFS program varies in availability by region.
Knowing how tight our ward's budget is, we know that ward funds won't be able to cover something like this.
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Glad this is all working out for you and your family, KQ.
Having met Jeff, I know I was really impressed with his sincerity, his manner and his intelligence. If I were in a position to offer him a job (like if I worked in H.R. of some place) I would hire him in a second. He seemed like a really great, thoughtful guy.
Glad he found something out in California, and I hope it gives him a chance to move up and on to even better things, because I certainly think he can live up to that.
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My angel would prefer complete silence, including on the point of where I know her/him from. I will respect my angel's wishes. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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rivka, I can never seem to keep up with the changing rules for head covering (especially since I'm not Orthodox anymore). I remember there was a huge controversy when wigs became much more realistic looking - a friend of mine had just spent a fortune on a wig that she was told she could not wear. She hung onto it anyway and the rabbis eventually allowed them.
kq, I'm so glad that things worked out for you!
I can really relate to the moving for a job situation. Andrew's parents could not accept that academics have to take jobs wherever they can find them. Of course, they never got over him moving out of NYC. Even now that he's thinking of getting out of academia and doing testing consulting full-time, there are a limited number of places we can live. My mother-in-law flipped out when Andrew told her we might move to San Antonio.
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That sounds like a quote. However, Googling "your mouth is for eating" brings up some seriously nasty stuff. >_<
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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No. And I think that you think that the stuff that Google brought up was rather different than what it actually did bring up . . .
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I think you have your Google filters at a higher setting than I do.
Either that, or I was mostly shocked because I was half-expecting something mafia-related. Not Phelps-related.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I have to admit now, I also googled it just to see what rivka got.
It really wasn't what I was expecting. Naughty rivka! Making us think we're going to find something really bad!
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I find it distasteful (if you'll pardon the pun) that this cretin resides in my home state. It's too bad that Phelps doesn't use his mouth exclusively for the consumption of food. If he confined the use of his mouth to eating, as opposed to spewing excrement from that orifice, we'd all be better off.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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