posted
The words "I love you" are not words which have ever sprung comfortably off of my lips. They were never said in my house growing up. I'm not suggesting that's a good thing, but the words have come to be invested with a great deal of meaning to me. I think many people say them when they mean nothing, but they are expected due to the nature of a relationship.
I have said "I love you" to my First Serious Girlfriend, but only after we had been dating for half a year, to my wife (before we were married, of course, but again, after much time had passed), to my father when he was comatose in the hospital, and to my grandmother when she was on her deathbed. I am comfortable saying those words to my wife and children, because that's the nature of the relationship we have, but I am not comfortable saying them to anybody else.
When I used to volunteer tutor with the United Way, a little boy hugged me on the first day he had met me and told me he loved me, and it seemed pretty freaky to me. It made me uncomfortable. This boy was investing was to much into me, and it made me sad that he was so desperate that he was willing to share this deepest of emotions (insofar as he knew what the words meant at all, of course) so readily.
My First Serious Girlfriend's family used to tell me they loved me whenever they saw me. They knew a bit of my history (much more than my inlaws, actually), and I think they found it amusing to make me uncomfortable this way. I don't mean this critically; I think they felt that I needed to hear those words some more, and so they took it upon themselves to make it happen. (They were always trying to save the world one soul at a time.) I would kind of not notice they had said it. If they said, "Goodbye! We love you!" I would enthusiastically reply, "Goodbye!"
It's not that I'm incapable of love, I think, but that I want the recipient of those words to know they are meaningful. I don't say "I love you" in exchange for sex or physical affection. I don't say them because they are expected.
I don't say them to reciprocate.
But when someone hears me say those words, they can be absolutely certain that they are not taken lightly.
I'm not saying I'm the right way to be. I definitely think this is rooted in the dysfunction in my family growing up. But I don't think saying "I love you" so easily that it has no meaning is ideal either.
My inlaws will frequently say "We love you!" at the end of a get-together or a telephone conversation. I do the same as I did with my girlfriend fifteen years ago. I am friendly and enthusiastic, but I don't reciprocate.
The thing is, I know I love my father (we don't say the words, because that's not comfortable territory, but we both know). I love my wife and my kids. I loved my grandmother.
I like my in-laws very much. I think very highly of them. I don't know that I could honestly use the word "love," though. I look in my soul, and that word doesn't seem to describe thye feelings I have. (At least, not in terms of what the word "love" means to me.)
But lately I've been wondering if that's immature of me. What would it cost me to say the nice words back? Nothing, but I imagine it would mean a lot to the people who are nice enough to say it to me. And love is an intangible word anyway. What's it mean? Certainly different things in the cases of my wife, my children, and my father. So do I love my in-laws? I'm not sure I do, but neither am I sure I don't. So maybe I should reciprocate simply because it's the nice thing to do.
How easily do the words "I love you" come to your lips? Were you always the first to say them, or always the last? It is important to you to wait, to make the words more meaningful? Do you say "I love you" to people you don't actually love? Do you do it because it's easier than doing otherwise, or because you think it's the right thing to do?
How do you know when you do love someone? What's the standard in your head that let's you say, "Yup, I love this person"?
What do you think I should do?
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Icarus, I think the fact that you are thinking so seriously about this regarding your in-laws means that you are a loving person. Otherwise, it would just be an irritation and you'd blow them off. Instead, you are thinking about doing something that is very difficult for you just to reach out.
I don't know what "I love you" means nor what you should do. But I think if you DO decide to use those words even if you're not quite sure, it would be an act of love. Sometimes it's really true that love isn't something we feel, it's something we DO. Again, that doesn't mean I think you should say it if you're not ready to.
Is this something you've talked about w/ your wife? What does she think?
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I think that there are so many ways that you can love people that it's hard to explain what it really means. You can love someone as a friend, you can love them as a parent, you can be in love with them, and on and on.
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Hmmm. I believe I could count on one hand the number of people I've said those words to outside of my immediate family. I'm usually the first person to say them, in that situation.
I think I love many more people than I say I love. But then again, I believe love is in some measure quantified by the willingness to sacrifice. Few if any of the people I love have ever required of me a substantial sacrifice, so I haven't had the chance to prove to them-and myself-that I love them.
I don't say 'I love you' to people I don't actually love.
For me, I know when I love someone because their happiness has become as important or more important to me than my own. I am willing to make a substantial sacrifice-physical, monetary, or just time-for their welfare or happiness.
But then again, I 'love' a few of my friends. For me, some of them meet that standard. But I love my family. I would do almost anything for them, bear any burden, make any sacrifice, etc.
So I think my advice for you would be to consider expanding your definition of 'love'. It appears to me that you're currently using the latter definition I just did, the one I reserve for family. I think there are more types of love than that that still hinge upon willingness to make sacrifices.
I think this would be a good thing for a few reasons. One, if you considered and decided to so expand your definition, you would still mean it when you said it. (Kudos, btw, for placing so much importance on that.) Two, you could please those people you do love (by my definition) who in my opinion probably know you do love them (by their definition), but would be made happy to hear you say it.
But above all, my advice is that since this is obviously important to you, evaluate your stance on the issue, and stick to your guns, as you have been doing.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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quote:How easily do the words "I love you" come to your lips?
Not often. I think I've said it once in my adult lifetime, and to my little sister when she came in my room to hug me and tell me she loved me. It seemed like the only reply in the world to give. Like you, it's just not something I was brought up with.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
I too very rarely utter the words, "I love you" to people, even the ones I love. I feel it cheapens the meaning of the words when people use it so casually and frequently.
However, I do think it's a good idea to expand the definition of love. Remember that the Greek language has three different words for love, eros, philos, and agape, to differentiate the different types of love. So when your in-laws say they love you, they mean it using a specific definition of love that's different than the love you have for your wife. So you could say it back to them, and mean it too, realizing that the love you speak of is a very specific type of love.
Posts: 1256 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz: I love you.
Saw that coming . . .
-o-
quote:Originally posted by Rakeesh: But then again, I believe love is in some measure quantified by the willingness to sacrifice.
I think you've hit the nail on the head here. I don't know where love begins, but I am certain that I love somebody when I would give up my own life if doing so would save theirs. Based on this, there are very few people I am certain that I love.
I agree with kojabu and camus that there are many different varieties of love, but I think this definition works for all of them. It holds for my love as a husband, as a father, and as a son.
Maybe I've set the bar in an unrealistic place. On the other hand, if I move the bar down, maybe I water my definition of the word "love" down, and that may not be an unambiguously good thing.
Uprooted, I have not talked about what I should do with my wife. I know she was hurt by my reticence in saying "I love you" when we were dating. I think she understands now where I'm coming from, and I expect she would support me in doing whatever I felt comfortable with. I have commented on the fact that it makes me a teeny bit uncomfortable when they say "I love you" to me, and she understands it. I feel like she pretty much feels like I should do whatever I think is right in this.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Maybe you can find another affectionate phrase that you could use in response to your in-laws when they say they love you. That would show other people that you do care about them without feeling like you're compromising your meaning of love. I'd love to give you a suggestion, but everything I think of is pretty lame.
Posts: 1256 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Maybe I've set the bar in an unrealistic place. On the other hand, if I move the bar down, maybe I water my definition of the word "love" down, and that may not be an unambiguously good thing.
I've thought about this issue too, though not to the depths you have (having had infinitely more experience as a father and husband, and more experience in romantic love). Personally I reached an internal consensus this way: no word has only one definition. A cursory examination of a dictionary proves it. In fact, the fewer letters a word has, the more likely it is to have many definitions.
Perhaps 'love' is one such word. Therefore by using it in when it applies to someone you wouldn't necessarily give your life for, is not necessarily watering down the definition.
I hesitate to mention this, but since you mentioned some possible reticence in your family to say the phrase...
Which is more likely? That love simply doesn't begin one stage lower on your personal totem pole of people you value (I'll give my life for you right now), or that it does begin one step lower, but your indivudual past makes it more difficult to see it? As well as magnifying your concerns about 'watering down' the definition?
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
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I'm not sure. I think it's the latter, but I think you have the right of it with your last sentence. It's more difficult to see, but I deeply don't want to be wrong, misleading, or dishonest.
I think it would have done me a world of good to have heard those words more, but it would have done me still more good to be able to believe them.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Yeah, camus, me either. I mean, replying to "I love you" with "I care about you deeply" or something similar only seems to call attention to the words you won't say. It seems more awkward, and potentially hurtful, than ducking the issue altogether, which is what I've been doing.
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posted
Love, one of the most wonderful things we as sentient intelligent human beings are able to bestow to one another. Something that allowed me to understand more fully, what love really meant to me was to learn that love is a verb and not a noun. To show love for another it is important, in my humble opinion, to demonstrate to them when possible that you care for them, that their happiness is important to you, that they are important to you. To do this successfully you will need to give of yourself. Love begins with you and your willingness to give of yourself to others. Giving of oneself without any expectation of remuneration or reciprocation of any kind is a kind and loving act. You can be the first one to extend a loving hand to another; you do not need to wait until you FEEL it to/from them. Take the love you already feel from the kind and loving people in your life and SHARE it with others. If you believe it is important and would make your in-laws happy to hear you say the words “I love you” then say them freely and without worry for that act is a kind and loving act and that is where love begins.
Posts: 30 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
The way my brothers and I were raised, it was normal to say "I love you" to my parents, but not between siblings, on a regular basis. We say it every time we hang up on the phone, every night before we go to sleep and when we leave the house for school/work/trips/etc. It feels wrong not to say it.
I think that's part of a "You never know when they'll be gone" mentality and we want the person to know we love them. Sure you can show them you love them, but there's something special about being told as well. The usage doesn't cheapen it for us, either. It's a reinforcement, I guess you could say. "I'm showing you and telling you just to make sure you get it."
As for me and my personal use of the word, I had a hard time with it for most of my childhood -I could often only get "You too" out, if that- and didn't become comfortable with it until a year or two ago. I'd politely respond, but that's where it stopped. I only got comfortable with it because I convinced myself that it was a weakness not to express what I very obviously felt for my family and a select couple of friends.
Edit: And I really can't stress how much I believe in the idea of different types of love and how that eased my ability to say those words. I will love my future boyfriend/husband differently than I love my parents or siblings and that will be different from the love I have for my future children which is still different from the love I have for friends. None of it is not love, it's just different.
Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Would it help to say it in Spanish? When you use a different language, the translation doesn't always capture the exact meaning from the original. Is there a phrase in Spanish that means how you feel, that you feel comfortable saying under those circumstances and, however loosely, translates to "I love you" in English?
I have what I think is a similar situation - on another forum, people often ask for prayers. They explain their situation and ask the other forum members to pray for them. I never say that I will unless I mean it - and I have only done that once. To me, to say that I will pray for someone and then not do it is breaking a serious promise. That person will never know whether I did pray or not, but I will know. So I just don't say it.
Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Hearing an "I love you" might make all the difference to someone else. I think it's a very important thing to be able to say when it's needed. I'm also not against fairly liberal use of the phrase with my wife and kids. Because it's nice to have it returned back to me. My son says "I...wuv-oo...Daddy" and my heart melts.
And sorry for being short with you on the other thread, Joe. You weren't being rude. I just shouldn't have been on Hatrack that evening.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
Rather that using a phrase like "I care for you deeply," which seems to be saying, "well, I don't quite feel the same way about you, but I can give you this much," look for a phrase that expresses that you feel the same way they do, you just use a different word for it. How would "I'm rather fond of you as well," or something along those lines work? It's an obvious understatement, but having the "as well" or "too" at the end shows that you're returning their sentiment (if not their language).
You couldn't use it too often, or it would be clunky, but once every now and then it might work.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
I have the same problem with my inlaws, Icarus. I do feel very close to them, and they have welcomed me into their family very generously. But . . . love. Well, I don't know. It's hard to tell, isn't it?
My best (girl) friend and I have said "I love you" a couple of times to each other. The thing is, it's true, I do love her dearly, but I always feel awkward about telling her that. Somehow love nowadays seems something you only tell your family and romantic interests. Since she's neither, I feel like I shouldn't say it to her. Hm.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Wow. I have the opposite problem. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love anime. I love cream cheese. I love music and I love to dance.
I suppose I grew up in an environment wher ethe word 'love' was somewhat devalued. The word 'hate', however, was reserved for... really huge stuff.
Mentally, for me, there was always a LINE. I never said "I love you" to a boyfriend, except in cases where they had been a friend first, because it was easy to say I loved them when they were just a friend. So, I have a real double standard.
As a result, when I really have that profound feeling of attachment I have no way to express it adequately, at least verbally.
I think you have a system that works for you and you're doing fine with it. As to the in-laws... find other ways of shoowing your affection. Do thoughtful things for them; tell them their happiness is important to you in other weays than words.
Also, thanks for this thread. It has given me a lot to think about.
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
I always keep I Love You in the "romantic" sense and I Love You in the family-and-friends sense in two separate categories. The former, I have never said, and the latter, I always say (though the first time I ever said it to my parents or them to me was freshman year of college, and by now it's gotten at least less awkward).
Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I used to have a real problem saying "I love you" to anyone outside of my immediate family. I loved, and it showed, but just couldn't say it. I got to the point where I felt it was something I needed to change, so I started saying it. I would say it to my friends, even when it was uncomfortable and I knew they wouldn't respond in kind. I made myself say what I was feeling, and now I am more comfortable with it. When someone says it to me and I don't feel the same, that is still quite awkward.
Some people need to hear it. I know I did (and I still love to hear it), even when it was obvious. Maybe it's the same idea as confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, even though it's obvious (through your life) that you believe it
Granted, too many people cheapen the word. I only say it when I really mean it - like Icarus said, when I'd be willing to die for that person, to save his or her life. However, I do see a flaw in that reasoning. I believe I would try to save a random stranger's life, risking my own (especially for a child). Does that mean I love all men? Yes, but it's not the same. I can't have the personal love for all men that Christ does. It's a rather impersonal love, whereas my love for my friends and family (and one day, wife) is personal and intimate.
Posts: 1069 | Registered: Feb 2005
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I'd be willing to risk my life easily, but willing to give my life? I mean, knowing that would be the result? Not for a stranger, no.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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hmm . . . not sure about that. I mean, why should I give my life for someone else? What makes someone else's life worth more than mine?
I'll risk it when I think it likely or at least possible that I will come through alive. But I would not give my life, knowing the probability of my survival was close to zero, unless the other person's life was worth as much or more to me than my own.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
I came from a family where I heard "I love you" at least twenty times a day. I have no problems saying it to anybody that I care a lot about so long as I think it will be recieved in the way that it was meant. I think it's interesting that many people in this thread think that devalues the words. On some level, I guess that's true. I frequently use it just as an addition to a greeting- "I love you, goodbye." But I think there's definately different contexts and depending on the context its meaning changes a great deal. After a recent funeral, my mom told me she loved me. This is something I hear every time I talk to her, but this time it was said with such intensity that it's meaning was far more potent than it usually is. I can think of many times in my life where the words didn't mean a lot and many times when they meant everything. Conceptually I can understand wanting to reserve the words just for when they're meant a lot, but I dunno, I think I would burst if I didn't say and hear the words frequently. It's just something that I need.
I think my brother-in-law feels the same way as Icarus. Our whole family frequently says the words to him but I don't think he's ever said them to any one but my sister (his wife). He's explained before that he feels uncomfortable saying them even to his own family. So I understand the differences in family cultures and don't mind that he doesn't say it back. When I say it to him, I don't expect anything. It's just something that I naturally say when I feel it. I guess my advice is not to devalue the words in your mind. If your in-laws are like my family, they'd probably rather you feel comfortable than compromise on something important to you.
*While I was writing this, my little sister got on IM and the second thing she said was "I love you!" *
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posted
I just thought of this thread because I was parting from some people and my friend Ted called back, "I love you! Bye!" Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I guess that's just my take on it, Icarus. Maybe I'm mistaken. I just feel that if Christ was willing to die for all even if that was just me, I should be willing to do the same. Perhaps I'm missing something - I have no idea. It's just a thought that struck me while posting.
Posts: 1069 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
I agree with whoever said that overuse of "I love you" cheapens it. That's poorly phrased. It doesn't necessarily cheapen it, I just feel like the words have more power when you mean them every time you say them. This isn't to say that those who say them often don't mean them every time they say them. My family just was never real big on "I love you". My parents tell me every once and a while, and I always reciprocate. My brother and I almost never say it to each other (not real surprising). But it never crossed my mind that he might not love me. I love all my family, and my friends. But I prefer to show them rather than tell them.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
The word "love" is a very vague word. It is vague to the point of having almost no meaning whatsoever outside of context. It is also a very versatile word in that it describes a concept that is present in differing degrees in nearly every relationship that actually makes us happy or where we actually make others happy (or at least try to).
There are people whose happiness we care deeply about. People for whom we'd do anything to ensure their continuing happiness, even lay down our lives. These are the people we love the most. There are people whose happiness is important to us, to some degree, but who do not inspire in us the same degree of love. Nevertheless, what we feel is love in some degree. For instance, you might have neighbors with kids. They rarely have a chance to go out as a couple, without the kids in tow. You care about their happiness and offer to babysit one evening so they can go out. This is love. It clearly isn't "lay down your life" love, but it is love nonetheless. There is nothing wrong with saying the word in this case, because it is true in its proper degree.
It isn't enough to just say "I like you." "Like" implies that they are pleasing to you - that in some way they make you happy. "Love" means that their happiness has a degree of importance to you, in your relationship with them, too.
So in those terms, whether you use the word depends on what you feel. Does the happiness of your inlaws hold any degree of importance to you personally? If so, then you do love them, even if it isn't to the ultimate degree. I imagine that when they say they love you, they aren't saying, "you are the purpose of our existence, and we would die for you", either. That doesn't mean that they are liars by using the word "love" or that they have cheapened it. That you can't say it back more likely indicates that you have put on the word an unhealthy restriction. (I say 'unhealthy' because to the degree that it hinders your relationship with them, it is. IMHO.)
I'm guessing that you do love them to some degree. I'm guessing that is it very possible that you love them in very nearly the same degree that they love you. In this case, it wouldn't be at all innappropriate for you to reply simply with "me too" until you can ease the restrictions you have placed on the word "love". If you respond with "I like you" not only does it call attention to the absence of the word "love", it also doesn't mean the same thing. Responding that way, the translated exchange is something like this:
In-laws: "Your happiness is important to us." (Love) You: "You make me happy". (Like)
as opposed to:
In-laws: "Your happiness is important to us." (Love) You: "Yours is important to me as well." (Love)
So, I'm not going to tell you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and I'm certainly not going to advise you to express an emotion you don't feel. But I will say that there is genuine love that falls far short of laying down your life for someone. Just because it isn't ultimate doesn't mean it isn't genuine. If you feel it and can't express it, then the deficiency is within you and only you can rectify it, or even decide if it is important enough to rectify.
(And I write this to you in love because, not only do I "like" you, but because your happiness is at least a little bit important to me. But don't go expecting me to die for you since I've said I love you a little. )
Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999
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I say I Love You reasonably often to a few girl friends - those that I do. I say it to my baby brother just about every time I talk to him; I want him to know that he's adored. *thinks* To my dad sometimes. There was a fairly liberal use of the words in my house - my mom would tell us that all the time.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote: How do you know when you do love someone? What's the standard in your head that let's you say, "Yup, I love this person"?
-You miss them when they're gone. -You think of little unexpected surprises and things to make them smile. -You miss them when you're gone. -You can be silly around them. -When you're out, you see something you'd like to buy for them long before you see something you'd like to buy for you. -The thought of their unhappiness causes you yours. -You pray for their safety before you pray for your own. -They like to be silly around you. -All of a sudden sappy love stories are marginally less sappy. -You'll know. -When you know, you know.
posted
I don't use it a lot, only when I really mean it.
I'm not afraid to say it because I know that when I do say it, there's no doubt in my mind that I mean it, at all.
I tell my father I love him because it's true. For my siblings, we use the word rarely with each other (3 guys, 1 girl) but when we do we mean it.
I say it about my close friends because I think it's important for people to know how you feel about them, even if the same feelings aren't exactly returned in kind.
I really think both KarlED and odouls268 hit the nail right on the head here.
Posts: 459 | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:replying to "I love you" with "I care about you deeply" or something similar only seems to call attention to the words you won't say.
You are right, but I still think that there are options which could work.
What if you replied to "I love you" with "I think you are wonderful too". It turns the emphasis away from you and your inner feelings to them. Who could possibly be insulted by being complimented?
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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posted
I love what Karl had to say. He said what I would have said was I that eloquent and thoughtful.
My family is one that often says "I love you". My mom and I quite often end visits/phone calls with it (my father and brother are less frequent, but they still say "I love you"). My in-laws do so also (though perhaps less frequently with me than my mother does). My husband and I tell each other "I love you" so many times each day I can't count them all. My best friend and I sometimes say "I love you" to each other. In each of these cases what I (and they) mean when we say "I love you" is different but they all indicate a great sense of caring and concern.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
Damn you Karl, I was thinking what I would say the whole time I was reading this thread, and as I was almost done figuring out what I was going to write I read your post, and once again realized that I didn't have to write anything at all . . .
posted
I grew up with a very demonstrative mom who has always told my sister and I that she loves us. I have never had trouble saying those words, but I do not overuse them (unless you are talking to Kwea). I rarely say I love you to my 2 best friends and they are more like sisters to me than just friends, instead I let them know in other ways; surprises for birthdays and "un-birthdays", little notes sent in the mail, and asking if there is anything that I can do for them. (Kinda hard to do now that I live 1200 miles away , but I still ask.) I would go back in heartbeat if something happened to either one of them (or any member of my family), but I don't often say the words " I love you" to them.
I say I love you to Kwea all the time....sometimes enough to drive him batty (just because it's fun to annoy him sometimes! ), but I mean it every time I say it, and I want him to know that he is in my mind and in my heart every second of every day. I love my mother in law... I call her "my other mother" and I tell her I love her whenever we speak on the phone, or visit with each other. My father in law is a different sort of a duck. I don't feel so comfortable saying that to him, so I don't. He is not one who shows his emotions easily . After the party that Kwea, his sister and brother in law, and I "hosted" for his dad's 60th birthday/retirement/bon voyage party, his heartfelt appreciation was felt when he said to each one of us "you're an a--hole!" (it was a great surprise party and we got him good... he was totally clueless...and he hates being clueless... not to mention we had it at HIS house!) Anyway, I don't say I love you to my father in law, yet I do to his wife....who knows the blonde psychosis behind that one!
As an alternative to the words " I love you", I have many times used a phrase that I first heard on the movie The Other Sister "Olive Juice!" it actually looks like you are saying the words I love you, but anyone overhearing you would not know what you were saying...it can be quite confusing to some people, which I really like to do .. confuse people ( as well as use ellipses apparently...), I don't actually suggest that you use that, but I thought it would be a nice way to make you smile!
Well, I hope whatever you decide to do works out for you and for your outlaws... I mean inlaws! Posts: 325 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sorry for dragging this forward again, but I'm definately in a posting mood and this one really interested me.
One reason I love German is for the efficiency of sorts that the language has. It's not that it don't have a ton of words (Believe me- it does!) but that each word or phrase has just one meaning (There are exeptions, but mentioning them wouldn't make my point ) For example, I love you. In German, the phrase can be said "Ich liebe dich" or "Ich hab dich Lieb". The first is the true form, the one only said when you truly, truly mean it. The second is for just everyday things, like friends, songs and cheese. And I'd like to mention Cay was right when she said it helps to say it in a different language- I don't feel that it has the same meaning in a different language either.
Posts: 1215 | Registered: Apr 2005
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I think it's the latter, but I think you have the right of it with your last sentence. It's more difficult to see, but I deeply don't want to be wrong, misleading, or dishonest.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Karl
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, but I still ask.) I would go back in heartbeat if something happened to either one of them (or any member of my family), but I don't often say the words " I love you" to them.![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
), but I mean it every time I say it, and I want him to know that he is in my mind and in my heart every second of every day. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
