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Sopwith, when my parents got married, my mom's mother told them that they should plan it and she would pay for it. So when Kyle and I got engaged, my parents said that we should plan it and they would pay for it. What wound up happening is that we planned a lot, with a lot of help from my parents (they found the site, which was wonderful), and we paid for everything we could get our hands on... My parents did grab the bills for catering and the site before we saw them, so they paid the lion's share, but we bought our clothes (I made my dress) and organized the photos (which cost about $1200) and the sound equipment rental (we had an iBook be our DJ, which worked great) and the party favors. I like to think ours was a fairly cheap wedding, but I guess it came to over $10,000.
Mackillian, we got married on my birthday. Kyle was thrilled with this, because now he only has to remember one date. Posts: 1785 | Registered: May 1999
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It does appear we have a lot in common. That was the weekend I originally wanted to have the wedding but it turns out it is the last weekend of grad school for Paul so it was out. Where is your wedding? Indoors or outdoors? Spring weddings are really pretty in my opinion. I am doing mine indoors because I am a worrywart and the weather would drive me insane with worries.
I like the suggestion to spend a day doing non wedding stuff together. We do tend to drift to talking about the wedding most evenings. But we have all the big stuff done so it is possible for us to spend chunks of time taking a break from the planning. I actually put it aside over the holidays and just enjoyed the time with my family. Next week the future inlaws are visiting me to look at wedding stuff. It should be fun times.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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martha, NICE. we got married the day before my birthday. so close, so easy.
for BOTH of us.
about wedding costs: as a photographer, I hate charging as much as I do. but as a professional, you can't charge rock-bottom prices, 'cause then folks might think your actual work is cheap.
Or something. The whole thing is so freaking complicated.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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What do you think is about right to pay for a photographer? I am waffling between two. I like one better but he costs about $200 more than the other one. The lower photographer is at $1600. Would you consider reducing your rate by 200 if someone asked? Just curious.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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I just like the photos of the more expensive photographer better. The services are actually pretty similar. It is 8 hours of photography. I get digital copies of all of the photos and joint copyright ownership. Both provide similar sized wedding boods I believe one is 27 pages and the other one is in the thirty page range. I would have to pay for any printing of individual prints that I wanted. I don't plan to do that very much so that price is not as important to me
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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quote: I don't like "Calm down." Just because it isn't the most important part doesn't mean that they shouldn't care about it. It's the equivelent of "Shut up and sit down." If I wasn't upset before, I am now. Don't tell me how to feel.
I hear you on this Kat, I also have an aversion to being told how to feel, or to having my emotions dictated. But, I do think there is some wisdom in this philosophy.
On my wedding day, I planned on putting my cake table in the middle of the room, because there was a pretty archway behind that area and I wanted a nice backdrop for the pictures.
Less than an hour before the ceremony, my grandmother swooped into the reception hall and re-arranged everything, so the cake table was instead in an area with a door behind it. Her reasoning was that it was now angled so it was the first thing the guests saw when they entered. I had to walk through the reception hall to get to the sanctuary where the ceremony was and just about fell to pieces when I saw what had happened, and it was too late to move it.
A dear family friend who was the wedding director took me by both arms and looked me straight in the eyes and said "Adrian, God willing you will have fifty years or more with this man you're marrying. I've been married for more than 30 years and I promise you, where the cake table is will not be important. What matters is the man upstairs waiting for you and the life together God is granting you. Stop it."
It helped. It helped a lot. And she was absolutely, completely right. So there is wisdom in "Calm down." It may feel offensive and hurtful to you now, but perhaps at your wedding you'll come to understand the truth behind it. The one day really doesn't matter, compared to the whole. Relax and enjoy it, brides. And keep your eyes on what really matters.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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theresa, go with your gut. if you can spend the money on the photographer you prefer, do it. however, bringing up the $200 price issue with your favored photographer would be okay. He might be willing to match the price of the competing photographer, especially since you really do like his (or her) work better.
belle, Even reading that, I can hear your heart drop.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Paul and I did our premarital counseling this weekend. It was actually quite enjoyable. Most of the things we had already talked about quite a bit but it was nice to feel confident that a lot of the major issues had been discussed. We also got to plan the ceremony itself with the Pastor and organist. It was awesome being able to hear the music that would be played at the wedding while sitting in the church. It really made me realize how happy I am to be getting married.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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My cousin is getting married in March, in Flagstaff. We just got Emma a warm dress ($6.50! I love Once Upon a Child!) that is just perfect-- because she didn't have anything appropriate for a wedding that was warm enough for Flagstaff in March. And closer to time, when we know what size she'll be, my aunt is going to buy her cute boots to match-- probably these. (The dress is all-over peachish-pink roses with hints of burgundy, with green leaves, green buttons on the bodice, pleats, and green collar and cuffs on the long sleeves.) I'm excited, and not just about Emma's outfit! It's nice to have more married people under the age of 55 in the family to talk to, you know?
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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That outfit sounds adorable! You'll have to post pictures of her all dressed up after the wedding. I am sure she would look too cute Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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Make sure your intended doesn't talk about math when you're trying to fall asleep. That's what happened to me last night. Nathan started talking about calculus.
Me. "Shut up." Him. "You really hate math, don't you?" Me. "Yes, I do." Him. "Do you hate all math?" Me. "Well, geometry and I got along just fine." Him. "The first step is always a given." Me. "However, we did not get along well enough to sleep together. Shut up."
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I went for my first dress fitting today. It was so fun. I don't think I am ever going to want to take my dress off. I am also starting to get all of my RSVPs back. So far I have 33 yes and 0 no. I just thought I would share. It is getting so exciting with only about 8 weeks to go.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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How early should you send out invites? We only have about three and a half months to go, and I haven't even priced invitations, much less mailed them out. I haven't even done the guest list all the way yet.
Oh, crap.
On the upside, we got a photographer.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I'm not sure what the etiquiette people say about invitations, but imo your invitations should be going out no later that 2 months prior (to give people time to plan, especially if there's some travel involved for your guests). So you should probably firm up the guest list in the next 2 weeks so you can get your invitations ordered (or otherwise taken care of) and sent off in a reasonable amount of time.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Rob and I are getting married in March next year, so we're right at the start of all the organisation stuff. My mum is already into details, like what we're going to wear (white or red? Indian or Western?) and I had to say to her at least 3 times today "we haven't thought about that yet." We are taking things fairly slowly, as we have just over a year, but still... maybe we should be making some decisions now?
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
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Katharina, my wedding etiquette books say to send them out 4 to six weeks in advance and 6 to 8 weeks if it is a holiday weekend or weekday wedding. However, I have tons of out of town guests and am on a holiday weekend so I sent mine out about 10 weeks in advance. I don't know how many guests you are having. I sent out 77 invitations and it probably took me about 20 hours to address, seal and send them all. I would recommend looking on ebay for invitations. They have lots at really reasonable prices. I loved mine. If you want, I'll see if I can find the name of the person who I bought mine from.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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Wow, how exciting Stephan! I can't imagine how excited I'll be within a week of my wedding. I am sure everything will go just beautifully!! Let us know how it goes. I love wedding stories.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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Yeah you should get moving on the invitations. Kat I would say give yourself a 2 week deadline to have your guest list complete. From there, how you're doing the invitations (having them printed, making them yourself, buying premade invitations and printing them yourself, etc) will dictate what your next deadline you give yourself should be (perhaps 2 weeks to get the invitations done and then another 1-2 weeks to get them addressed and mailed). If you're anything like me (which you may not be but what the heck) definitely give yourself deadlines to meet so you don't put them off.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I was going to design them myself and find someone who would print them. I know, generally, what they will look like, and I have most of the graphics done already. I have not, however, done it yet.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Sounds like that might be a bit time consuming. There are often waits at the printer as well. I would at least call around and see when they could do the printing for you and approximate costs. I have seen some that are outrageously expensive IMO.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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I don't really think that you need to send them out quite that early. I know a lot of people that if get them to early they forget about it because they have had them so long that they think they have plenty of time.
I think that sending them out 4 weeks from when you were getting married would work. The 6-8 weeks I would think that it would be easier for people to forget.
Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I'm getting married in 10 days. I can hardly stand the excitement! Almost everything is done. I am finishing up on the last of the decorations on Tuesday and on Monday I have final meetings with all my vendors. Thursday, our families are arriving to start setting everything up with us. Saturday is the rehearsal and Sunday the wedding. I am seriously geeked and just had to get that out.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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I'm having a mini-crisis. The hotels I originally gave to people I did without reserving rooms. I know - bad idea - I was in a hurry - no excuse.
They are all full. There's a huge convention that weekend in SLC, and almost everything is booked.
However, my dad, bless his heart, offered to help and I took him up on it. He found the following that's within walking distance. It's a big relief.
HamptonInn 425 S 300 West Salt Lake City 801-741-1110 Ask for the Pilkington-Bowman Wedding
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Our Wedding is 4 Saturdays from now. Egad! We think we have all the bases covered but we still have some financial transactions that need to take place. But otherwise, I guess we are ready. Dude! I'm gonna be a husband!
We have been getting tons of goods in the mail. I am realizing how generous people get when it comes to weddings. It's actually quite humbling also to see what people are coming out of the woodwork to be at my wedding. Some people you send invites just to be polite and keep them informed about your life shock you by RSVPing and telling you they will be coming.
[ May 18, 2006, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: Ben ]
Posts: 1572 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Wedding is about a year away. We haven't really set a date yet. It'll be in NY. This works out fine because my family is a little better off than hers. Mine can afford to fly in. We are not only looking at hotels in area, but also at where some can put up campers and such. Ours won't be as expensive as my sister's wedding. Echo already has a dress that is paid for (she was supposed to marry someone else a few years ago. Thak god it didn't go through). An' the flowers are at her Aunt's house (plastic, good).
Other than that we haven't really planned anything else besides where it will be. No rush.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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We're planning on staying with Jeff's uncle in Salt Lake, so we're probably not going to make reservations at the hotel, Katie. But don't worry, we're planning on coming. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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We decided to incorporate an old Jewish tratition of having the bride circle me 7 times. Its supposed to ward off evil spirits and loose women and the such. The look on her face as she suddenly realized how silly she looked was priceless. Especially her maid of honor (known for not knowing how to whisper) started counting for her.
The other was how fond of my grandmother my groomsmen were. They discovered she had a weekness for scotch, and kept her glass fell filled at the reception. My best man (not knowing much about proper alcohol usage) got her last glass and didn't think to have any ice or water added. My aunt had to all but carry her to the car.
Posts: 3134 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Oh, goodness, that makes me glad there was no alcohol served at our wedding; my grandma has a weakness for liquor, herself...
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Great pictures and stories. Congratulations everyone.
I am going to a great wedding this summer: the reception will be held on the 96th floor of the Hancock building!
Posts: 484 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I am planning our wedding blessing for this September. It will be on our third anniversary. (We eloped, so this will be our very first celebration of any sort for getting married.) I think Wedding Blessing is what we're going to call the ceremony--unless I think of something better. It's basically a renewal of vows ceremony, followed by a reception/party.
I am planning on wearing a medieval/renaissance style dress, but I haven't found it yet. My one attendent, my best friend, is going to wear one, too. She might even make hers.
I'm not really doing a renaissance theme, though. I'm just using what I like wherever it comes from. I have a LOT of planning to do, still.
I have a very strict budget, so I'll be making everything I can, and being as creative as I can. My priorities center around the whole thing being simple, beautiful, and there being really good food at the reception.
It's exciting to finally be doing this...
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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If you need any help with the planning, let me know. I have spent a year sifting through tons of sites for reasonably costed wedding stuff so even if it isn't my taste I might know about where to find it.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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(I was having trouble linking directly to the page with the dress, but the Huntress is the one that she uses for her front page, so that works.)
It also happens to be her most popular dress, and in those colors. Which makes me like it a little less, heh... but I can choose my own colors, and it is pretty affordable. The seamstress also has a great reputation at a wedding board I'm at.
I finally ordered the announcements today, and they'll be done in a week and a half. Things are happening, and it's great.
It's so cool to see how everyone is at a different stage in planning. I'm probably a bit behind considering the wedding is in 7 weeks, but I'm feeling ok about it, because a lot has been done. I have my first bridal shower next weekend when I go home for Memorial Day! (My sisters are planning one for here in Utah sometime in June.)
Speaking of the Utah bridal shower...any of you Utah Jatraqueras wanna come? I can get you on the invite list. Posts: 1635 | Registered: Aug 2002
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I got back from my wedding on Sunday. It was a really beautiful wedding. I loved every minute of it. I have had a few moments where I was a little sad that it was all over but then I look at Paul sitting next to me and am happy that we are finally married. He has been so sweet to me. I got a cold on the honeymoon and he has been extra doting and attentive.
The honeymoon was a lot of fun. We went to Chicago. We had a lot of plans but spent the first two days simply recovering at a really nice bed and breakfast. It was great to sleep in and watch movies and not have anywhere to be. We both needed that. We got to see the musical Wicked. It was really cool. I loved the set design. On our last day, we went to Six Flags and had a great time just being goofy and silly together. In a weird way, it was one of the more romantic parts of the whole occasion.
The wedding itself was everything I wanted it to be. The men almost forgot to put on their boutineers but my Dad saved the day at the last second and got the flowers to them. Other than that their were no major mishaps. It was super hot out and the church had not air conditioning so at one point during the sermon we ended up sitting down on the steps but it actually made for some of my favorite pictures.
The reception was a blast. I got to dance a ton and spent a fair amount of time with the guests. I especially had a great time with my mom who I have never seen happier. It was just really fun. I am not sure if this is true for others but the reception was not exactly this romantic evening that I had anticipated. It was much more celebratory and more of a party atmosphere. I laughed and danced and had a great time and there was plenty of time for romance afterwords.
Good luck to everyone with weddings still to come. I hope you have as wonderful or a time as I did.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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I'm getting married on August 23rd to my 'high school sweetheart.' Wedding plans are coming along. We just ordered the invitations, secured the photographer, and are now looking into flowers. Cake, dress, venue, etc. have long since been taken care of.
Looking forward with MUCH anticipation!
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Enjoy the lead up to the wedding. The few days before the wedding with my family and friends around were some of the best times of the whole process.
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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Even reading that, I can hear your heart drop.
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That's what happened to me last night. Nathan started talking about calculus. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
