I asked the teacher if Edmund Burke embodied classical conservatism (teachers statement) why did he support the radical American revolution. The teacher was not sure and then a student behind me said,
"I think your are mistaken, Burke would not have supported the American Revolution because he saw the French revolution and how bad it was and that certainly convinced him that the American revolution is bad."
High School history is your friend. Who knew the XYZ affair took place during Adam's administration and THEN the United States rebelled against Great Britain.
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posted
You've seen this before right? (Even if I think at least some of them must be fakes, perhaps I have too much faith left still.)
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quote:Originally posted by HollowEarth: You've seen this before right? (Even if I think at least some of them must be fakes, perhaps I have too much faith left still.)
Fakes perhaps, but certainly not beyond the realm of human possibility!
Math hates me and I hate math TBH and I still laughed my head off at all of those.
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quote:Originally posted by HollowEarth: You've seen this before right? (Even if I think at least some of them must be fakes, perhaps I have too much faith left still.)
I love number five, but there is no way that one isn't fake. I suppose that it could also be a joke by a student who didn't know the answer, but I just can't beleive that it is a serious answer.
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I doubt that any of them are real, including the first one which seems the most authentic given that it's written on homework-looking paper. The reason for my doubt is that I've heard all of these repeated countless times among professors and students when I was a math undergraduate along with various other mathematical jokes. Some of them, such as the "Find X" is the sort of thing that probably gets done by various students in an attempt to be funny on a regular basis in addition to their anecdotal use by people who know better, but the image on that site looks more like it was deliberately created for the joke rather than being anyone's actual paper.
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posted
In college we were laughing at Leno quizing people on the street who didn't know how many states are in the U.S.
A girl who was with us said "there's 53 " We laughed She emphatically pointed out "Alaska & Hawaii” like we forgot them.
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Grimmace, that exact same thing happend to me, except for the ENTIRE summer between third and fourth grade. I KNEW it wasn't right, but I wouldn't admit I'd forgotten, so I have like three notebooks filled with childish stories with "uv" all over them. Then one day it finally just dawned on me again, I don't know what the problem was.
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Ok, now my new ones. Once when I was teaching "business math" in college, I gave out weekly quizzes. This one kid didn't remember how to do the graph on the last question, so he just drew a smiley face and turned it in. I realized that another student was copying him because when he got to the last graph he tried to "graph" the smiley face as an actual function... then he tried to take it to the DEAN to prove he wasn't cheating... come ON!
However, when I dropped out of grad school to teach high school, I realized I'd made a TERRIBLE mistake. I would have been glad if my students had BOTHERED to cheat. I would give them a review sheet, with the answers (some of which were multiple choice) and let them use that on the test. Normally I would only change the numbers on the test, not any of the actual problems. However, I was out sick one day and the sub got the review and the test confused, so handed out the review AGAIN instead of the test. That meant the students actually had the answer key to the test in their posession while taking the test. out of 120 students, 10 passed, and only 2 aced it. That was the day I think I finally just gave up.
This last one wasn't at school, it was actually a co-worker, but it was so funny I had to put it in. She is like the meanest witch in the world, and always thinks she's right about EVERYTHING. Recently her doctor told her that she was allergic to wheat. I overheard her telling a coworker that she had to throw out all the wheat stuff in the house, and went to the store and had to buy white bread, and saltine crackers, and white bagels "and stuff." And then was shocked to find out two week later (when she went back to the doctor cuz she still had the rash) that all that "white stuff" has wheat in it too!!!!
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quote:Originally posted by DDDaysh: This last one wasn't at school, it was actually a co-worker, but it was so funny I had to put it in. She is like the meanest witch in the world, and always thinks she's right about EVERYTHING. Recently her doctor told her that she was allergic to wheat. I overheard her telling a coworker that she had to throw out all the wheat stuff in the house, and went to the store and had to buy white bread, and saltine crackers, and white bagels "and stuff." And then was shocked to find out two week later (when she went back to the doctor cuz she still had the rash) that all that "white stuff" has wheat in it too!!!!
posted
In the movie "Sleepless in Seattle," the fiance has to eat white bread because he is allergic to wheat. This is recounted in the story of how they met.
That always bothered me.
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Well, I thought about speaking up when she was first talking about it. However, considering that she usually looks at me like I'm a slug on her shoe, I figured she'd probably just lecture me on how it was "rude" to put my opinions into a conversation without being invited, so I just kept my mouth shut. I wondered how long it would take her to figure it out.
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Okay, these take a bit of philosophical and economic insight...
The other day a student in my philosophy senior seminar class tried to argue that there's absolutely nothing wrong with throwing away the "ought implies can" principle in ethics. When I brought up counterexamples - like most moral theories would then require you to be in many places at the same time - she responded with "but that doesn't matter, because it's not like we can actually do that."
So I guess we're all doomed to always be acting immorally, since it's physically impossible for us to do the right thing.
Another student in the same class argued that the global enviroment is far less complex than the U.S. economy. Nevermind that one deals just with human economic activity, while the other deals with all of the physical biological, and chemical components of the enviroment, which includes all human economic activitiy. She also couldn't understand the difference between correlation and causation, or that when you extrapolate into the future with uncertain data, your predictive ability becomes less as your move further out.
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quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: In the movie "Sleepless in Seattle," the fiance has to eat white bread because he is allergic to wheat. This is recounted in the story of how they met.
That always bothered me.
Arrrgggg!!!!
I'm gluten intolerant but to simplify explaining what that means to people, I often simply say that I'm allergic to wheat, rye, barley and other closely related grain. It is extremely common for people to tell me something has no wheat in it, it has only white flour.
What do they suppose white flour is made from? Whites?
quote:Be he live or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread
posted
I'm the Official Quotes Taker in most of my classes. All of these are from the english class I took last year.
-Teacher: Why do we enjoy eating dessert? -Student: So when we’re stranded on a desert island we can eat our fat!
-Student: The lip gloss isn’t in my purse, it’s in my bra!
-Teacher: How can life be audible? -Student: Well, you can say it... -Student: Wait...what’s ‘audible’ mean?
-[Someone]: What’re they [little kids at pep rally] gonna do for us? -Teacher: Various pyrotechnical displays, perhaps some explosives, as well as some belly dancing.
-Student: -after coming in late- Sorry, I thought I had free. -Teacher: So, what was her name?
-Student: You can’t compare this English class to Christmas or a blind date! -Teacher: Why not? I look like St Nick and I’m rapidly losing my eyesight.
-Student: [Paris [From the Iliad] was] put in the Prophesy Protection Program.
-Student: -after she’s just said, ‘Well, my dad is only 20.’- Well, I haven’t talked all class. I had to make up for it!
-Student: How do you become a god?
-Teacher: Why do college friends last longer? -Student: Because you have them in your wedding.
-Student: Courage is willingness to do the unthinkable. -Teacher: Ah, that’s a pithy guess. -Student: What’s ‘pithy’? -Teacher: Succint. -Student: -blank look-
-Teacher: -to foreign student- Is that gum in your mouth? -Foreign Student: No, Juicy Fruit Strawberry. It’s imported.
-Teacher: Does anyone here write stories? -Student: I read them!
-Teacher: That sounds like it’s from Job. -Student: No, it’s from Return to Me. What movie was Job?
-Teacher: If you look at the word ‘adolescence’, it means ‘on fire’. -Student: That explains all the undue sweating.
-Student A: Think, [Student B’s Name]! -Student B: It hurts!
-Student A: I want to be a mortician. -Student B: Are you serious? -Student A: I’m dead serious.
-Teacher: -about Student A- He’s got that all-american look about him. -Student B: What do I have? -Teacher: You look like a criminal.
-Teacher: Who’s the goddess of rage? -Student A: Mars? -Teacher: It starts with ‘mn’. -Student B: Minerva?
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quote:Originally posted by Kelly: Professor: Where does geothermal energy come from?
Student: The sun?
Since Geothermal energy comes from radioactive decay of elements in the earth and those radioisotopes were synthsized in the core of a star, it would be technically correct to claim that geothermal energy comes from a sun, just not our sun.
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A couple years ago I stumped my physics teacher with these two questions: 1. If everyone in the world did push-ups at the same time would it get smaller? 2. If everyone in the world went to the equator and walked in the right direction would the Earth stop spinning?
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Ah yes, technically correct but completely pointless. Like saying the only important thing about sex is that its aerobic.
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Spanish teacher: Say 'I come.' Student: I just did. Spanish teacher: Well then you better go wash your hands.
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