posted
Well, I don't know if I'd call it a "car" exactly. I bought a vehicle. And I fear I've made a grave mistake. If I've really walked almost everywhere for these past few years to prove my commitment to the idea of going Green (which is what I tell myself sometimes, and other times not), then what on earth would possess me to by a 17 year-old 3/4 ton SUV that gets 12 miles to the gallon and spits exhaust like a steel factory in 1902? But when the kindly gentleman with the hesitant smile was showing me this beast of a rusted hulked-out monster of a vehicle, I just kept thinking to myself, "Jackpot, Troy; this is the perfect vehicle to have in case of a zombie attack." (I'd like to pretend I'm just kidding, here -- but really: that's what I kept thinking.)
I realized he was more of a pragmatic guy -- not one of us dreamers, maybe -- after he looked at me like I was insane when I said, "This car would be great in case of a zombie outbreak. Think of all the survivors I could fit in this thing."
I wish, really, that I hadn't written that check. I guess I'm stuck with this thing. I got carried away for about a half hour fantasizing about being a survivor in a world overrun by zombies. Unfortunately that was the half hour it took me to decide to buy this vehicle.
Learn from my mistakes, kids.
Posts: 2267 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
You know, with the right paint job, some front-mounted spikes, and a listing in the Yellow Pages, your rusty SUV might even pay for itself.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I was in my tin-box little Toyota Echo when I was attacked and eaten by zombies. I didn't have a chance. You do. In the months since, my zombie friends and I have been able to attack and consume drivers from almost every sort of vehicle, except those old, rusty, 3/4 ton SUV's.
But seriously, there is something called a "cooling off" period, but I doubt very much that you can use it when you buy from another guy on the street. You CAN use it if you buy a used car (or even a new car) from a dealership, though.
Posts: 1862 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I don't know what to say. You've made a terrible error. Well, we learn from our mistakes. You are about to graduate to "Savant."
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
If you really want to make it cool, wherever you go you have to make sure people can hear the theme song to Sanford and Son coming from your truck.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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You could go around campaigning...for...something! Paint your van up, add some turrets and spikes as has been suggested, and go for a (short) road trip! Posts: 1236 | Registered: Mar 2002
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