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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Ruining movies with a one line paraphrase. (Page 4)

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Author Topic: Ruining movies with a one line paraphrase.
Uprooted
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Confederate soldier deserts, makes it back to his girl, then dies.

Union soldier goes native and deserts.

Farmer builds baseball field and ghosts play there.

Girl named Eve isn't as nice as she seems.

Two women flee the law and drive off a cliff.

Two outlaws flee the law and get shot in Bolivia.

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rivka
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Chess prodigy plays many games of chess.

Woman dies in car accident, and the recipient of her heart meets her widower.

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Shigosei
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So there's this TV show. It's a sci-fi western, and it got canceled after half a season.
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Woman dies in car accident, and the recipient of her heart meets her widower.
Beverly told me the basic plot of the movie, and I thought she had to be joking. It just sounds so ludicrous for a romance.
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rivka
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Doesn't it? [Big Grin] But it's one of my all-time favorites. I own both the DVD and the soundtrack.
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Tante Shvester
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An Englishman goes up a hill but comes down a mountain.
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FlyingCow
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[ROFL]
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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head:
quote:
Woman dies in car accident, and the recipient of her heart meets her widower.
Beverly told me the basic plot of the movie, and I thought she had to be joking. It just sounds so ludicrous for a romance.
What move is this?

Also,

Man role plays going back in time in order to meet girl he is infatuated with, foiled by a penny.

^^ I own the movie and part of the soundtrack played at my wedding reception [Big Grin]

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rivka
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BB, Return to Me.
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vonk
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Two dogs and a cat run away and then come back.

Then they do it again.

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Epictetus
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Steve McQueen and a bunch of British POWs escape by digging tunnels. Steve Mcqueen gets put in brig, British POWs are shot.
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T_Smith
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An old french guy tells a tall tale of how he used to be cool.

[ July 04, 2007, 12:22 AM: Message edited by: T_Smith ]

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Nighthawk
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Somebody's Spartacus.
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T_Smith
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A bunch of WWII prisoners of war build a bridge over a river.
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Papa Moose
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There's an Indian in the cupboard.
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rollainm
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quote:
Originally posted by Papa Moose:
There's an Indian in the cupboard.

[ROFL]
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Nighthawk
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Like Driving Miss Daisy, except it's a taxi and the passenger is a professional hitman.

(That's the way I described it to my wife. She hates it when I say that.)

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FlyingCow
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This whale named Willy gets caught and needs to be freed. - Free Willy

Willy gets caught again. And then again. - Free Willy 2 & 3

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Puffy Treat
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An amphibian with a non-meteorological interest in the refraction of light has a keen desire in auditioning for Orson Welles.
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Icarus
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William Shatner displays his utter lack of talent.

A fish swims around looking for his son.

A girl graduates from college and her life sucks. Her insensitive parents give her a BMW.

M. Night Shyamalan makes a movie in which nothing at all happens for an hour and a half, and then there's a surprise twist.

This Volkswagen bug has like a soul.

An orphaned girl goes to the English countryside to live with her dysfunctional uncle and hypochondriac cousin.

A Halloween-themed deity kidnaps Santa Claus.

A boy wizard defeats an accomplished evil badass using the power of love.

The President of the United States fights off a bunch of armed terrorists who have taken over his plane.

Two guys are really dumb. One is, in fact, dumber than the other.

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Puffy Treat
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A man discovers he has incurable gastric cancer, develops intense desire to build swing-sets.
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steven
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"Two guys are really dumb. One is, in fact, dumber than the other."

Yay, teh funny.

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romanylass
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Two guys have beer and peanuts and hitch a ride.

An estranged son and father have to fight, and end up killing the father's boss.

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Shawshank
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A guy in prison does everybody's taxes.

Guy writes a play about his fantasies with young boys. (That is one way to ruin Finding Neverland

Crazy guy does math.

Smart Kid has Issues.

[!SPOILER WARNING FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!]


Sirius dies.


[/End Spoiler]

Man in a Spider suit fights a mechanical Octopus.

Teenagers corrupt fictional TV show.

Starring Ben Stiller!
Starring Nicholas Cage!

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0Megabyte
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"An estranged son and father have to fight, and end up killing the father's boss."

Return of the Jedi. Awesome description.

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0Megabyte
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A bunch of peasants hire a bunch of samurai to fight a bunch of bandits.

A bunch of them die.

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otterk10
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The last samuari in the world is Tom Cruise
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Chopped Liver
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quote:
A bunch of peasants hire a bunch of samurai to fight a bunch of bandits.
A bunch of peasants hire a bunch of cowboys to fight off a bunch of bandits.

A bunch of peasants hire a bunch of TV cowboys to fight of a bunch of bandits.

A bunch of insect peasants hire a bunch of circus insects to fight of a bunch of bandit insects.

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0Megabyte
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The first one there is The Magnificent Seven.

I dunno about the other ones.

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Chopped Liver
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The Three Amigos
A Bug's Life

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Shigosei
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Three Amigos and A Bug's Life, probably.

Two roommates attempt to get rid of a small child that they are not equipped to take care of. In the process, they discover that their employer is corrupt.

Guy loses his memory, but manages to whine about it a lot despite the fact that he shouldn't remember that he has a memory problem.

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mr_porteiro_head
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Adam Sandler and a child act like children.
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Papa Moose
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John Travolta and the Magical Brain Tumor.
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Uprooted
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quote:
Originally posted by Papa Moose:
John Travolta and the Magical Brain Tumor.

LOL!
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TheTick
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quote:
Originally posted by otterk10:
The last samuari in the world is Tom Cruise

Aww, the Last Samurai in the world was Ken Watanabe.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Papa Moose:
John Travolta and the Magical Brain Tumor.

Two problems with that. One, it might intrigue me enough to watch it. Two, hey, SPOILERS! I mean, I've seen it several dozen times, but not everyone has been so fortunate.
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Puffy Treat
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Cowboy is deeply upset that his best friend now sleeps with another man.
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Two, hey, SPOILERS! I mean, I've seen it several dozen times, but not everyone has been so fortunate.
Isn't there a statute of limitations of movie spoilers? It's been over ten years.
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rivka
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You have a point. However, there are spoilers and there are spoilers. That one is a large part of the point of the movie.

Then again, we had a number of similarly pivotal spoilers in this thread. Ok, I withdraw the objection.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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attraction park becomes death trap when fail-safe precautions give out.
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Zhil
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Crazed mathematician becomes a numerologist obsessed with delicious pastry, then drills self.

Pirates in boats and pirates in water and pirates on land; also, pirates.

Capulets and Montagues fight with guns while two stupid teenagers do something really stupid.

Rosencrants and Guildenstern die. [Razz]

Robin Williams as a doctor.
Robin Williams as a professor.
Robin Williams as a scientist.
Robin Williams as a...
...

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Nighthawk
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Professor fights Nazis while looking for a crate.

Professor fights zealots while looking for rocks.

Professor fights Nazis while looking for a cup.

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Olivet
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quote:
Originally posted by Eduardo St. Elmo:
attraction park becomes death trap when fail-safe precautions give out.

Good one! That actually works for several movies. [Smile]


Angry women dance naked.

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BlackBlade
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Aliens live in our oceans, they want us to stop fighting or they'll kill us all.

Man decides to stop being a femme elf wannabe and returns as king.

Rich guy fails to get the endorsement neccesary for funding towards his new theme park featuring dinosaurs.

Guy takes unknown pill at the behest of stranger, his perception of fantasy and reality are effected.

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Tante Shvester
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An aspiring singer/songwriter gets over her stagefright by donning ho clothes and dancing on a bar while soaking wet.
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Mig
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Spoiled rich girl during the Civil War tries to hook-up with a rich dude who thinks she's an air-head.
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Tante Shvester
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A bunch of people try to win a karaoke contest.
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DavidR
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"An ex-con, forced to steal, does it with style." -- Hudson Hawk
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Javert Hugo
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quote:
Spoiled rich girl during the Civil War tries to hook-up with a rich dude who thinks she's an air-head.
What movie is this? That can't be Gone with the Wind.

Rhett doesn't think she's an airhead at all. In fact, he is one of the few in the beginning who knows that she isn't.

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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by DavidR:
"An ex-con, forced to steal, does it with style." -- Hudson Hawk

You make it sound worth watching...
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