posted
I didn't want to derail pH's thread, but I wanted to open up a new thread for the discussion that was taking place. (Shyness, industries that breed personal oddities that may nor may not obstruct romantic relationships, etc.)
In repsonse to Ms. Ketchup: I am 26.
To kick things off, I would like to throw out the observation that I have a really hard time dating in Los Angeles. Culturally, men are much less likely to compliment/holler at women, and I have lived here for three years and have gone on two dates. One with a crazy person, and one with with an ex-boyfriend, secretly.
I wasn't really dating that much on the East Coast, but at least I received an acceptable level of holleration. Lame!
So...how's your love life?
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
Hey! He asked that nobody discuss that over here. Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
I'm a big fan of the foreign boys. Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
If you're 26, most of the guys I know are probably a little old for you. (In their late 40s to late 50s, mostly.) Some of the non-damaged ones, in their early 40s.
I hear ya on the L.A. dating scene. That's why I married a Texan.
Then I made him move back here 'cause I couldn't stand being away from L.A., much less in Dallas. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Surprisingly, since becoming single, uh, my love life has improved...in that I now get much more attention than I ever did from Michael. I'm very much enjoying it.
posted
To clarify, by holleration do you mean construction-worker-style whistling? Or something a little more subtle? What I mean is, coming from the other side of the equation, I'd like to know what it is that women expect / want.
Posts: 1810 | Registered: Jan 1999
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I don't appreciate the group of rowdy college guys honking and yelling as they drive by kind of thing. But then, it only happens to me when I'm with other girls, so it's not a big deal.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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For me holleration includes compliments, asking of digits, text messages, traditional cat calls, asking of dates, etc. I would appreciate any and all of those at this point in time.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Heh. I do NOT appreciate the cat calls. Especially when I'm visibly pregnant and pushing my two children in a double stroller. Dude, do you not GET that I'm unavailable?
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Cat calls are so rarely about being interested in a woman that I doubt they were trying to hit on you so much as make you uncomfortable, kqueen. Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Though sometimes it depends on the circumstances. I am not a fan of say, boys hollering in the literal sense at girls, but sometimes a "hey, gorgeous" from across the way is a pretty good pick-me-up.
But I am also obviously available. But I agree that sometimes it can be threatening. I definitely grew up with more experience being sexually harassed from the fourth grade up than with being flirted with.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Heh. I do NOT appreciate the cat calls. Especially when I'm visibly pregnant and pushing my two children in a double stroller. Dude, do you not GET that I'm unavailable?
For many women in the same situation, they may well be available and looking.
In fact, many single women with children wish more men were interested in them, especially once the men realize that they have children.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
I'm a big fan of the foreign boys.
I love me my foreign boy. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
I'm a big fan of the foreign boys.
I love me my foreign boy.
There's just something about them. Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
Wow. Sorry to hear that the dating's so scarce in Los Angeles. I don't consider myself a player or even "terribly active on the dating front" and yet I still have 1-3 "events" each week that could arguably be called dates. IE -- I go out with a single-and-looking woman, even if it's one with whom I am "just friends." Arguably the fact that we are doing dinner and a movie, or wahtever makes it a date, even without the romantic interest. TBH, I don't even really go looking for dates anymore, they seem to just fall in my lap, and in order to keep my budget solvent I have to limit what I do.
From the comments here, I guess I'm just lucky. And perhaps it helps that I'm not in LA. . . .
Posts: 1323 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
I'm a big fan of the foreign boys.
I love me my foreign boy.
There's just something about them.
This American boy blames you all for his lack of love life!!!!! Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I suspect that dating success in L.A. might depend heavily on your definition of "obviously" and your definition of "available."
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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My love life is free and clear. Matt and I broke up some time in the past year - the exact date is in dispute. We stopped seeing each other constantly and talking an hour a day three-four weeks ago.
I have considered wandering over to Where the Boys Are, but I think I want to wait until I know it's not rebound.
In the meantime, I've replaced him with exercise and Doctor Who dvds. That's working out quite well.
Posts: 1753 | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Heh. I do NOT appreciate the cat calls. Especially when I'm visibly pregnant and pushing my two children in a double stroller. Dude, do you not GET that I'm unavailable?
Pregnant and pushing a double stoller fulfills a fantasy for someone somewhere.
Posts: 1766 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I'm not a fan of catcalls at all. I resent the intrusion on my privacy and I hate the chauvinistic assumption that I'm available for them to comment on. I'm not. Back off and leave me alone.
Posts: 1753 | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
So you're a woman? I thought from your name you were a man (obviously gay, given your previous post).
I wouldn't call out to a woman on the street, but I have no qualms about staring at someone from my car (with all the windows closed) who's, say, crossing a crosswalk in front of me. Yeah, I'm probably objectifying her, but if she doesn't notice, no harm done, right?
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Actually, if you don't call out, that's fine. That's expected.
It's the hollering and intrusions that bother me. I'm not a streetwalker - I am not going to respond favorably to propositions from strangers. I resent the assumption that I would.
This happens a LOT around where I live, and it's why I hate going for walks in my neighborhood. I really resent that freedom being taken from me. Looking like crap doesn't make a difference - it's the female and alone part that does it. That's why it's not flattering - it isn't because I'm so beautiful they were overcome. It's because I look like an easy target (this explains the pregnant with babies thing as well - you look vulnerable). That ticks me off.
--
Yes, I'm female. I'm katharina, actually, taking a walkabout from my normal name thanks to Javert reminding I had this one, which I like very much. Javert is far and away my favorite character from Les Miserables and one of my favorites in all of literature.
Posts: 1753 | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: Wonderful. I picked up a cute foreign boy on a sci-fi author's website a couple of years ago, and have ignored all the crazies that hit on me ever since.
I'm a big fan of the foreign boys.
I love me my foreign boy.
There's just something about them.
This American boy blames you all for his lack of love life!!!!!
Your border crossing guards are looking out for you: one of them informed me that I'm not allowed to date American girls. Of course, since I was already dating an American girl, all I could do was apologize profusely.
quote:Originally posted by ElJay: I think he's gotten over that.
quote:Originally posted by Javert Hugo: Yes, I'm female. I'm katharina, actually, taking a walkabout from my normal name thanks to Javert reminding I had this one, which I like very much. Javert is far and away my favorite character from Les Miserables and one of my favorites in all of literature.
Plus you're a copycat. Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
*laugh* This can all be laid at your door. I had completely forgotten about trusty ole Javert Hugo until you reminded me. Posts: 1753 | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Javert Hugo: *laugh* This can all be laid at your door. I had completely forgotten about trusty ole Javert Hugo until you reminded me.
Oh, I accept the blame for that. But you're a copycat for taking the name in the first place. So nyah!
Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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