posted
It isn't true that this community cannot tolerate a thread made specifically for the purpose of mocking one of its members.
Let me begin!
For all my propaganda about my glorious, muscled apathy, I sure do check this forum a lot. Hypocrite? Oh, boy, you really have no idea.
I mean, how much self-loathing can one man possibly bear? I'm Mormon (guilt), I'm white (angst), I'm a Gen-X'r (more angst), I'm a choir nerd (socially confused), and I'm a writer (guilt, angst, confusion, and EGO).
Writer? Hah! For all my talk about clarity, I'm the consummate literary elitist. I make a point of switching between first and third person in many of my stories for no real apparent reason! Furthermore, stylistically, my stories are heavier than James Joyce. I'm not making this up. James Joyce came to me in a dream and said, "Dude. There's such a thing as plot. You might want to add some to your ramblings. You know, so that it could possibly be considered a 'story.'"
I don't really like anyone, but I OFTEN lament the fact that people aren't kind to one another. Hypocrisy, thy name is...well, Scott.
Scott R, I mock you! Openly, and with much derision!
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
When I write, I often use the 3rd person even though 1st person would make more sense, just to be difficult. The last email I wrote contained an "Author's Note" explaining that it was written that way.
And I'm not even and author!
To top it all off, I constantly ridicule and belittle the inability of others to make proper use of the English language to convey a written thought.
I am a hypocrite.
Scott - You don't like anyone? I don't like anyone either! How great.
I swear, if I weren't so scared of male to male emotional displays, and also of physical altercation, I'd punch you in the nose.
But that'd make me feel guilty and angsty, and would prove what I've known for a long time about myself-- I'm a patriarchal autocrat whose penchant for violence is only kept in check by an enforced artificial morality!
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Not to mention parading your fantasy life in front of everyone, and having the audacity to call it fiction and try to get people to buy it. Geesh!
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
What's even worse, what is truly scummy about me-- despite my protestations to the contrary, this thread is really only feeding my desire for recognition.
No matter how despicable I am; no matter how self-deprecating, I know, deep down inside, that I'm a fantastic human being.
(And I'm going to let YOU know too.)
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
quote:Scott is also too cheap to own his own car, and ferries about on the charity of strangers.
Oh, it's much worse than that: I DO actually own my own car, and it's a small, gas-efficient vehicle.
Instead of selflessly using that vehicle to transport others in an ecological and safe manner, I wantonly go about, evilly riding with owners of less efficient vehicles. I'm a moocher with no real need to mooch!
quote:ScottR is a bigot and one of the most socially irresponsible people I know.
Heck, yes. See above. I also drink water from public water fountains, depriving others of valuable public medications.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
I feel sorry for you if this is the only way you can get attention. And pity, and some contempt. *shakes head sadly*
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote:I've heard master abacus users can beat people with calculators.
It's not too hard to beat people with calculators, especially if they're large and heavy ones like TI-85s.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
The top ten things that Scott feels guilty about.
10)If a butterfly's wings can cause a Hurricane, then Scott knows his undignified hand gesture during a moment of road rage led directly to Katrina.
9) One of Scott's ancestors did something terrible to gain the woman he wed. Scott is the end result of that something terrible. What that something terrible was is so terrible that his family has completely covered it up and Scott can not find any trace of it, but its true.
8) Each time Scott passes gas, just to ease his own discomfort, more green-house gases are admitted into the environment.
7) Scott never took the time and effort to simply hunt down and assassinate Osama Bin Laden before 9/11, and for that so many have suffered.
6) That paper he bought to write those "Thank You" notes on--came from what once was Amazon Rain Forests.
5) Ooops, where did he put those "Thank You" notes anyway. They never did get mailed. Worthless ungrateful Scott.
4) Over 1 million people have died and gone to Hell because Scott did not personally knock on their doors and convert them.
3) Scott ate meat that was once a living breathing creature, and it must have died in a truly horrible and ironic way, since everything Scott touches and has died, did so in a truly horrible and ironic way.
2) Scott didn't watch enough Serenity, so Fox canceled it.
1) I was so busy writing about Scotts faults that I didn't do my work. Shame on you. Shame. Shame, stopping me from getting work done.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by advice for robots: I've heard master abacus users can beat people with calculators.
Sure, at basic arithmetic.
But I bet I can calculate the natural log of 142,512,843 with my calculator faster than any abacus user can. Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Woah. As a Newbie, I only have Scott to blame that I don't understand half of what is being posted here.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Apr 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Given the fact that "Serenity" was never a television show, this is especially impressive.
Non-sense. The premier episode of of Firefly was called Serenity. Scott could have watched that episode over and over again if had been truly dedicated. What's more, it's possible to watch the ship "Serenity" in every episode.
I suspect that Scott both missed the premier and closed his eyes during every second in which either the inside or outside of Serenity appeared in firefly. How could you expect FOX to continue a show when Scott was resolutely closing his eyes through most of the show.
This went beyond mere negligence on Scott's part. I wasn't just like he didn't hear about Firefly or that he was too busy to watch or that he forgot about it. This was an act of well planned civil disobedience designed to bring FOX to the knees.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
