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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The Scott Pot (Page 2)

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Author Topic: The Scott Pot
pooka
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I don't get the blackberry witch thing, but I suspect I'm better off.
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Juxtapose
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This thread is fantastic.

Except for...ahem...certain portions.

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Achilles
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Scott is fantastic even when he's not.

I hate that.

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The Rabbit
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Scott is detestable even when he's likable. Its very unnerving.
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Scott R
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I pirated all my copies of Firefox.

I mean, Firefly.

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Achilles
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Copyright infringer.
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Scott R
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Pooka:

Blackberry Witch

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Achilles
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Go ahead. Lord that website and your published works over us.

You disgust me.

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Scott R
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Of course I do! That's the point!
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Kwea
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Because you don't DO anything!
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Scott R
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Except whine.
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Jenny Gardener
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Even the bees hate you, since you couldn't manage them properly.
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Jenny Gardener
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Egads! Now I know what's happening to the bees! Just because you couldn't keep them well doesn't mean you have to cause all the colonies to collapse!
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Scott R
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Yes it does.
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The Rabbit
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Blackberry Witch:

Egads, He's a closet scientologist!!!

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Darth_Mauve
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Many of Scott's clothes have recently come out of the closet. However Scott hasn't allowed some of his most ugly outfits to come out in years.
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The Rabbit
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quote:
However Scott hasn't allowed some of his most ugly outfits to come out in years.
You mean he has stuff that's actually uglier than what he wears?


That's scary.

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Scott R
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I give all the money I get from doing audits to the Center for Disease Proliferation.

I deliberately wear ill-fitting sweatsuits, polyester bowling shoes, and a bandana do-rag, and walk in front of Stacy London. Her cries of horror make a pleasing noise unto mine ears.

I don't like kitten's.

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Darth_Mauve
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Scott is the secret force behind the popularity of Paris Hilton.
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katharina
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Scott edited Star Wars so Han shot second.
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Scott R
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And I talked Lucas into giving Jar-Jar a bigger part in Ep.1.

I'm on Nicole Ritchie's speed dial for financial and personal advice.

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katharina
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That makes you look good, Scott - she's doing well financially and her personal life is going fine.

I know the truth. You're actually the life coach for Lindsay Lohan.

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Scott R
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Ha. Goes to show what you know.

Lindsey Lohan thought I wasn't sober enough to be her life coach.

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The Rabbit
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Scott is actually the person who called TCPS claiming he was a pregnant, abused 16 year old polygamist wife. He can do a pretty convincing imitation of a 16 year girl when he speaks in falsetto.
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katharina
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Scott designed Windows ME.

Scott told Cassius to take on the Parthians.

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Scott R
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I not only designed ME, I continue to use it.
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Morbo
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Saddam's WMDs are in Scott's basement. That's not as evil as promoting Jar-Jar though.
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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by Morbo:
Saddam's WMDs are in Scott's basement.

I just don't see how Scott could fit Saddam's WMD's in his basement with the 100 Uranium centrifuges he's building for the Iranians.
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katharina
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Scott's basement is bigger on the inside.

But he is not the Doctor.

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Uprooted
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:

I don't like kitten's.

Well, duh. No one doe's. And you're too despicable for Chuck Norris to defend, but too lame for him to fight.
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Scott R
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I make Chuck Norris cry, and then don't share his tears with anyone.
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Jon Boy
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rabbit:
He can do a pretty convincing imitation of a 16 year girl when he speaks in falsetto.

That's not a falsetto. When he does a falsetto, he sounds more like a 4-year-old girl.
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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by katharina:
Scott's basement is bigger on the inside.

But he is not the Doctor.

Great, so now he's expanded his basement so far he's undermining foundations in half the neighborhood.

Don't say I didn't tell you so, when your neighbors grand piano crashes down on your little mining operation

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Darth_Mauve
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Scott's heart is a mini-black hole that will eventually consume the entire universe into a very bland and depressed singularity who spends every Saturday night hoping to get lucky at the local Singularity Bar, and ends up going home with some ugly nebula from which it contracts yet another STD (Stellar-ly Transmitted Disease).
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Zalmoxis
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The amusing thing is that underneath all the falsetto bravado, Scott is utterly, underwhelmingly prosaic.
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Scott R
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My prosaicness is poetical.
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Zalmoxis
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But never, ever noetical.
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Darth_Mauve
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His Prosaicness is on Prozac.
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Scott R
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Neither nautical nor optical,
Optimal or hospitable;

But hostile!

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The Rabbit
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ppfff!
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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by katharina:
Scott designed Windows ME.

No, no, no... he designed Microsoft Bob.
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Jon Boy
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Which means that, by extension, Scott is responsible for Comic Sans.
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rivka
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Oh, the horror!
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LargeTuna
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[ROFL] [Big Grin]

ScottR=Funny

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Morbo
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rabbit:
quote:
Originally posted by katharina:
Scott's basement is bigger on the inside.

But he is not the Doctor.

Great, so now he's expanded his basement so far he's undermining foundations in half the neighborhood.

Don't say I didn't tell you so, when your neighbors grand piano crashes down on your little mining operation

If Scott's basement is bigger on the inside than the outside, then he's undermining the very foundations of the Universe. And it's a neighboring Universe's Grand Unified Theory of Everything that's going to come crashing down on all of us. [Frown]

All that for a little more storage space--I mean, that's just selfish.

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Scott R
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When I grill for the neighborhood, I put cheese on the inside of the hamburgers so my Jewish neighbors don't know until it's too late.

I mix everclear with my green-jello-and-carrot recipes for Mormon potlucks.

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Shan
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Groovy idea, the everclear.

What awful thing do you do to green eggs and ham?

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Scott R
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I mix them with a fox,
I put them in a box.
I grind it all with mouse
And barge into your house.

Eat them, eat them, I implore
Eat them up! I will make more!

And in the dark, or on a plane,
Eat them, or I'll cause you pain!

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Shan
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OWWW!

I'me eating, as fast as I can!

you evil man . . .

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Zalmoxis
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Don't be intimidated, Shan.

Scott R is a quivering pool of sentimentality wrapped inside a gooey mix of bougie tastes, false southern charm and middlebrow Mormonism all coated with a thin veneer of what appears to be a complex dark bitter chocolate but is actually waxy, stale, slightly-sweetened carob.

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