posted
Let's stick to the truly bone-crushingly horrible or this list will be too long.
Hamson says Basket Case and 10000 BC
I say Epic Movie(and its ilk, excluding some of the "Scary movie"s which are really pretty entertaining)and Monster's Ball (because it was so horribly depressing I couldn't watch it and I was feeling depressed and almost crying after half an hour. It may be Good for all that, but i can't handle it)
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If it wasn't for Weird Al's opening credits, I would have walked out of the theater less than five minutes in. But I stayed... and good lord was it painful.
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Shrek the Third. Not only is the writing terrible. Not only is the animation a herky-jerky technicolor eyesore. Not only did the entire cast phone in their parts...but...Katzenberg is planning TWO MORE INSTALLMENTS because this crapfest was an inexplicable world-wide mega-hit.
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I attempted it on Netflix Watch Now because it had Tim Allen and, while he's done some bad stuff, he's also made really good things out of movies that looked pretty bad otherwise.
It was BAAAAAD. It's the first thing I've ever given one star to, I think. If there had been an option for no stars while still rating it I would have done it.
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The Muse, a movie with a couple of good lines but which quickly becomes funny only to people who get Hollywood in-jokes, and quickly forgets some of the terms of its premise, to boot. Also the movie that cemented in my mind the rule:
If the writers "come in" on people laughing, rather than bothering to write actual dialogue to establish camraderie, you are watching a bad movie.Posts: 3826 | Registered: May 2005
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Druids A Wrinkle in time Elf Nacho Libre Blood Brothers (japanese) Zohan Tale of despereaux Catwoman
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quote:Originally posted by Sm34rZ: "Turtle! Turtle!" hahaha
It's actually quite funny, especially late at night and with a group of friends.
If you have boys that mimic movie lines over and over, it's a great movie for silly one-liners. I've forgotten most of the movie, thankfully, but I'll remember certain lines forever, courtesy of my children.
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Supernova. It came out while I was in college, and a bunch of us went to see it. It was so...boring?...that my one friend fell asleep as well as a guy in the row behind us, who was also snoring. I can hardly remember what it was about except for the very basics.
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quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Zoom: Academy for Superheroes.
I attempted it on Netflix Watch Now because it had Tim Allen and, while he's done some bad stuff, he's also made really good things out of movies that looked pretty bad otherwise.
It was BAAAAAD. It's the first thing I've ever given one star to, I think. If there had been an option for no stars while still rating it I would have done it.
Ah, yes. That's the movie where they defeat the bad guy by running around him so fast, they suck the evil right out of him. Posts: 6689 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
10000BC was not so bad if you compare it with One Million years BC. Remember Raquel Welch and her Furry Bikini. I saw it first run in the biggest theater in Mexico. It was a truly forgettable film experience
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Hmm, I might have seen that one. I remember seeing a weird movie with some humans and some dinosaurs in it (and no, it wasn't "Jurassic Park" ), but I was too young to care about Welch's "costume"... Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by FlyingCow: Matrix Reloaded Independence Day
Not even once? Interesting, I could watch both more than one time; I think I actually have with both.
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quote:Originally posted by Corwin: Hmm, I might have seen that one. I remember seeing a weird movie with some humans and some dinosaurs in it (and no, it wasn't "Jurassic Park" ), but I was too young to care about Welch's "costume"...
You might remember that they hadn't invented language yet. That is established in the first two minutes. Then you realize; that means there will be no dialogue in the whole movie.
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posted
I try to ignore the fact that the Matrix had sequels. After watching Reloaded, I swore not to lose a portion of my life watching the third. Reloaded in no way fulfilled any part of the promise made in the first movie, in fact just vomiting mass-market drivel in an attempt to make a fast buck.
Independence Day was a hodge-podge of SF tropes stolen from other movies shuffled together with little to no thought, and coated with a thin layer of Will Smith to make the pill go down easier.
So, yeah. Not a fan of either.
Unfortunately, I had to watch ID4 more than once (at least parts of it) because I was working in a movie theater when it came out. :shudder:
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I've got to disagree with Elmer's Glue on The Day After Tomorrow, and with FlyingCow on Underworld, Matrix Reloaded, and Independence Day.
The Day After Tomorrow, while stupid, was good fun in a "wow, this is implausible, but I'm interested in seeing how it turns out." Underworld gets a pass just for Kate Beckinsale in a skin-tight suit. Matrix Reloaded, had good enough special effects to let the poor plot pass on the first viewing. And Independence Day, while stupid through and through, had some funny one-liners, and some good characters - I loved the Secretary of Defense for being so deliciously smarmy, for instance.
There's a difference between a bad movie, and a movie with absolutely no redeeming features - or where the badness is so overwhelming that the entire experience is unpleasant and without value.
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quote:Originally posted by Artemisia Tridentata: You might remember that they hadn't invented language yet. That is established in the first two minutes. Then you realize; that means there will be no dialogue in the whole movie.
Ah, so it was that movie indeed. I think I saw it in Germany while visiting my aunt; too bad it didn't have dialogue, I'd have quit watching it earlier as it almost certainly would have been dubbed.
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Out of some 15 people we were two to watch it until the end. One guy because he had to return the videocassette afterwards, and me because I wanted to be able to say I sat through all 2 hours of that crap and came out alive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that. Apparently it's some kind of masterpiece but I'm at a loss as to what exactly is it's strong point. Maybe the body count? (78)
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Jhai - Kate Beckinsale cannot redeem a movie, or even make it watchable. Special effects for no point whatsoever does not make a movie watchable either. And the only non-awful thing about ID4 is that Will Smith was given a couple of funny things to say - again, a few snappy lines do not make a movie watchable.
I mean, Mars Attacks was a lampoon of ID4, and it was a far better movie (though it's admittedly not a high bar).
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quote:Underworld gets a pass just for Kate Beckinsale in a skin-tight suit.
QFT there, but the sequel was unwatchable. In the first ten minutes I couldn't help but ask myself numerous times "what the hell is going on?" I couldn't get past minute 20.
She looked *much* better in the first one anyway.
quote:I'll have an opinion about Highlander V in a few days.
I already know what it's going to say.
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quote:Underworld gets a pass just for Kate Beckinsale in a skin-tight suit.
QFT there, but the sequel was unwatchable. In the first ten minutes I couldn't help but ask myself numerous times "what the hell is going on?" I couldn't get past minute 20.
She looked *much* better in the first one anyway.
Well, once you've seen it once, there's not much point in watching a sequel for the exact same only redeeming feature.
FlyingCow, I guess we disagree on what makes a movie "not even good for one viewing". For instance, Independence Day was on tv last week, and my husband, who has never seen it, watched it while working on his laptop. I remarked that it wasn't a particularly good movie, but I wouldn't have thought to say "you shouldn't watch that - it'll be an absolute waste of your time & isn't at all watchable." In order for a movie to be posted to this thread, I guess I'd say that it'd have to be one I'd actively warn others about.
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posted
I regularly warn others about ID4. You lose IQ points even if it's on in the background. It's not much higher in my mind than Battlefield Earth.
As for the Matrix sequels, I have actively tried to scrub their existence from my brain and wish that I'd never watched the first of them. Same for Underworld (the sequels of which I will never see).
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quote:Originally posted by Corwin: Hmm, I might have seen that one. I remember seeing a weird movie with some humans and some dinosaurs in it (and no, it wasn't "Jurassic Park" ), but I was too young to care about Welch's "costume"...
You might remember that they hadn't invented language yet. That is established in the first two minutes. Then you realize; that means there will be no dialogue in the whole movie.
That sounds an awfully lot like Caveman, although they do have a very rudimentary language in that one (except for the Japanese guy, who spoke English). There were dinosaurs, too. That movie was a childhood favorite at my house, but I suspect that it might fall into this thread.
posted
OP asks for bone-crushingly horrible and you guys are coming up with eraserhead, day after tomorrow, and escape from LA?
errr.
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 MK: Annihlation Meet the Spartans Saw V The Singing Forest Dirty Love The Avengers Blair Witch 2 Dumb and Dumberer League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Battlefield Earth Ecks vs. Sever The Hottie and the Nottie National Lampoon's Gold Diggers Freddie Got Fingered Yu-Gi-Oh Dungeons and Dragons
Hackery award: Ben Stein for Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
Lifetime Achievement Award: Uwe Boll for Blood Rayne I and II, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark I and II, Postal, In The Name of the King, and Backwoods
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I'm willing to give that one a pass because we got to see Uma Thurman in skintight leather.
Sadly, she wasn't wearing leather in Batman and Robin. Not that it, or anything for that matter, would have helped that movie...
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posted
I may be one of the only people in the world who liked 'The Avengers'.
I thought the jokes and style were hilarious, and come on... Sean Connery in a Teddy-Bear outfit. I can't help but love a movie with that in it. Posts: 1831 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I walked out of this one. . .and it was a rented DVD. My ex and her brothers watched it all the way through, though. :-/
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posted
I think you should only be allowed to nominate movies that you've seen - or at least seen part of before walking out.
I'll put in Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003). Good grief, it was a waste of a horror movie. I wasn't even frightened (and I scare easily with horror movies), just nauseated.
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posted
FlyingCow: Idiocracy is a documentary and should be required viewing. Especially the first 5 minutes. It's also one of those movies that gets better the 2nd time because you catch more of the background jokes.
"would you like a BIG *** FRIES? Now with more MOLECULES!" Classic.
Jhai: I agree with Underworld. She coulda been reading the phonebook so long as she was dressed like that. I also agree with you about ID4 and Day After Tomorrow.
We should hang out. Wanna go to the movies?
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posted
I would add to Samprimary's list of Lifetime Achievement Awards: The Tuxedo
Also, agreed on Shrek 3. Even Shrek 2 was decent.
I can take bad special effect, poor acting/over acting and weird directing styles, but poor "phoned-in" writing kills a movie faster than anything. (I guess that could be called "faxed-in" )
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Ravenous. Some idiotic 'evil spirit of man eating' thing. (No offense to those who might include idiotic spirits of man eating in their pantheon.)
Armageddon.
Troll 2 was good for exactly one viewing.
Rocky V.
PS I Love You. (PPS: I wish they all had died)
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), but I was too young to care about Welch's "costume"... ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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