posted
A bit of consolation to the video game loving guys: All the gamer-girls I know are super awesome, and would make great girlfriends/wives. So if you can find the right girl, you're set.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: ... And you can't argue with personal taste.
Theoretically, you can. You're just not likely to get anywhere
( Although there is the possible exception of acquired tastes, a number of which I have only been driven to acquire via argument. )
Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
kat, rather than filtering your potential romantic interests on the basis of their interest in video games, because some people who play video games turn out to be socially awkward ... couldn't you just filter for social awkwardness directly, and not make generalizations about people based on their hobbies?
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*blink* Seriously? I'd say that the kind of gamer who spends more than three hours a week at LAN parties is far, far more likely to be socially inept than the average.
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posted
I think you're misreading katharina, Tom. She says that she can forgive gaming if it's done as a social activity, but someone who plays video games in a LAN party setting doesn't count for that exception.
Posts: 1751 | Registered: Jun 1999
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posted
I do not think that any one thing by itself is ever a deal-breaker. If a guy seems intelligent and tuned in while liking video games, that is fine, even if he plays them a lot of the time. If a guy plays games and seems zoned out, then it's not.
A lot of people who play video games are fascinating. A lot of people who don't play video games are dead boring.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
I don't associate First person shooters with manhood, since I focus on the whole strategic sniper/stealth aspect of cat and mouse where its a more predator-prey relationship. Sometimes your the prey and sometimes your the predator.
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If my former girlfriend had spent a lot of her time reading, say, Charles Dickens, then I would have considered her justified in scorning video games.
Why?
Because on some level I know I ought to read more. In fact, if she read a lot of "great books", I'd probably read some of them with her; maybe she could help me understand things I didn't get. The girl in question read or started literally no books in the time (10 months) I dated her, so I didn't think she had the slightest justification in looking down on me.
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Because on some level I know I ought to read more.
Why? (I'm not going to do this recursively all the way to the bottom, it's just that it's still the same question: Why do you think reading is better than games?)
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
the perception ild imagine that someone who reads Charles Dickens or Leo Tolstoy and focuses on the Liberal Arts and Sciences is certifiably making a good use of their times in either their complementary or their chosen field of study and can perceptionwise look down upon people who on the opposite extreme like making "peoplez head asplode".
The perception is one of being cultured, certainly it is not impossible to be both, afterall I am the exemplar of such, but there is some perception, and some evidence that people who focus on video games, and people who focus on becoming the next Boch or Wagner don't overlap much.
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posted
I actually find it rather cute when guys play video games....
What I don't like is when guys become so obsessed with video games they start to not bathe for days at a time! (Yes, I've actually had relationships where that was the case!) Or when guys become so obsessed with a girl in video games that I (as a girlfriend) felt I just couldn't compete with the on screen character.
Other than that, video games are just fine.
Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I love video games, I am 15 though, and women my think differently later in life. However, I see it like any hobby, if it is too obsessive then it's not so good, not necessarily because it's video games but maybe you are seen as too attached to them and therefore unstable(I think hardcore coin collectors are just plain creepy. on the other hand it depends on the woman, like me I love video games, but some people think that they are childish. (what is childish about God of War?) And then it's up to the woman you chose. They may like video games and like that you share that. I love a guy who shares my interests or is even better at some skill than me. A video game can be like that. its a skill to people who appreciate it. but the answer to the question is no for me, they are in no way a deal breaker.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Jan 2009
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quote:Originally posted by DDDaysh: What I don't like is when guys become so obsessed with video games they start to not bathe for days at a time!
This goes both ways. Where I work (an office), we had a female temp start a couple months ago. She was a hardcore WoW player. She had frequent tardies as well as a no-show or two (supposedly from all-night playing sessions), and had to be spoken to several times because of her hygiene (she smelled very bad). She's not there anymore.
Posts: 1080 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
heh, I may have done that one summer when I got a new videogame, but that was back when I was, like, 12. And I think that doning things like that really shows how stable you are as a person.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Jan 2009
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posted
The real trick with requirements and deal breakers in relationships is being honest about what is really important and why.
Is it the playing video games really a deal breaker? Maybe it's really about getting more attention than a machine, or feeling like an outsider, or wanting someone to motivate you.
Is being athletic a requirement, or do you just want someone who will go hiking with you a couple times a month and who looks good on the beach?
I've found that lots of people have a much easier time finding a good match when they really think about their list of deal breakers and requirements, and figure out if their first impressions are really what they want and don't want, or if they need to dig a little deeper.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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I'll pretend that this wasn't a rhetorical question.
God of War is a perfect example of an adolescent male power fantasy. You're desired by scantily-dressed fantasy creatures whom you treat badly; you're a total bad-ass with divine heritage who gets to go around killing gods with a cool-looking chainy thing; you're in a situation in which only you can save the world; and you have a tattoo.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I'll pretend that this wasn't a rhetorical question.
God of War is a perfect example of an adolescent male power fantasy. You're desired by scantily-dressed fantasy creatures whom you treat badly; you're a total bad-ass with divine heritage who gets to go around killing gods with a cool-looking chainy thing; you're in a situation in which only you can save the world; and you have a tattoo.
posted
I haven't read the three pages of this thread; I am just responding to the title and initial post.
Video games (and fora) are not deal breakers with women. At the very least, as far as I can tell, a women will tolerate either much as she would any other "pointless" male hobby. Usually, though, women actually enjoy indulging in such things themselves.
It is odd that men seem to be better at losing days at a time in video games. But it's also odd that women can lose themselves in Perez Hilton or People magazine.
Two hundred years ago, if I were really into whittling or something, me and my girl would have the same issue. It's not the whittling, or the video games, that are the problem.
Posts: 158 | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: Personally, the leisure activities that I've found most satisfying were ones that did teach a real-life skill.
So what are these alleged leisure activities?
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by DDDaysh: What I don't like is when guys become so obsessed with video games they start to not bathe for days at a time! (Yes, I've actually had relationships where that was the case!) Or when guys become so obsessed with a girl in video games that I (as a girlfriend) felt I just couldn't compete with the on screen character.
*Looks at female characters on the Super Smash Bros. game on the Wii*
*Peach *Zelda *Zero Suit Samus
Nope. I can't see it.
Posts: 1029 | Registered: Apr 2007
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I'll pretend that this wasn't a rhetorical question.
God of War is a perfect example of an adolescent male power fantasy. You're desired by scantily-dressed fantasy creatures whom you treat badly; you're a total bad-ass with divine heritage who gets to go around killing gods with a cool-looking chainy thing; you're in a situation in which only you can save the world; and you have a tattoo.
But I'm a chick and I like it for the amazing art, puzzles, and yeah killing people with fiery chain swords is fun. They have to make it like that so people will buy it. Of course, I am an adolescent so you have a very good point.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Jan 2009
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quote:Originally posted by The Genuine: But it's also odd that women can lose themselves in Perez Hilton or People magazine.
That's an invalid stereotype, and I'm sure that you know it, only stupid women like things like that and if those are the ones you guys are looking at it's no wonder that you can't find someone who appreciates videogames.
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: Personally, the leisure activities that I've found most satisfying were ones that did teach a real-life skill.
So what are these alleged leisure activities?
Why the word "alleged"? Are you disputing that they are leisure for me?
"Real-life" wasn't the best word choice there. Instead, what I meant was that the leisure activities that I've found the most satisfying are ones where I get something out of it besides the enjoyment of the activity.
Some examples:
1. Woodworking. I enjoy woodworking, and when I'm done, I have a toy, a puzzle, a bookcase, etc. that I get to keep. Or give away.
2. Reading. Some stories are more than just fun; they make you think, they resonate, they teach something, or in some other way they stick. I tend to like those more.
3. Music. I enjoy the time I spend practicing and playing music, but at least as much I enjoy the fact that the more I do it, the better I become at it.
4. Aikido. The only regular exercise I've ever been able to stick with has been a martial art where I'm trying to develop skills that would be useful in certain situations.
Of course, these skills aren't very useful for most of us today, and even as I was training, I hoped that all this time I was spending was "wasted", beyond the enjoyment and exercise I got from the activity itself.
I could just cut out the middle-man and just enjoy an activity that I know instead of just hope is "wasted time", but I have never able to stick to one.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Originally posted by The Genuine: But it's also odd that women can lose themselves in Perez Hilton or People magazine.
That's an invalid stereotype, and I'm sure that you know it, only stupid women like things like that and if those are the ones you guys are looking at it's no wonder that you can't find someone who appreciates videogames.
Wow! I hit a nerve there, didn't I!
On behalf of the women I've loved, I am offended that you would call them stupid.
All of my major loves have played video games, even with me. None of them have done it to the extent that I have though.
Posts: 158 | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
To me, yes, it is less of one. Although I'm having trouble putting my finger on exactly why.
One reason is that except for some extremely rare exceptions, there's not really any reason to play video games except to entertain yourself. That's not so with music.
That's the reason why, when I came to a point where I had to decide between Aikido and music, I chose music. For me, Aikido was much more of a "selfish" endeavor -- what I got out of it was completely internal to me, while what I got out of music was something that I was able to share with others.
Let me reiterate that I'm not disparaging any form of entertainment. I'm just saying that these things do seem to make a difference to me in how much I enjoy them.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Two hundred years ago, if I were really into whittling or something, me and my girl would have the same issue. It's not the whittling, or the video games, that are the problem.
You know, I doubt this is the case. It's much easier for a video game to be immersive than for activities like whittling or weaving.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Originally posted by The Genuine: But it's also odd that women can lose themselves in Perez Hilton or People magazine.
That's an invalid stereotype, and I'm sure that you know it, only stupid women like things like that and if those are the ones you guys are looking at it's no wonder that you can't find someone who appreciates videogames.
Wow! I hit a nerve there, didn't I!
On behalf of the women I've loved, I am offended that you would call them stupid.
All of my major loves have played video games, even with me. None of them have done it to the extent that I have though.
Sorry about that, I didn't mean to call anyone stupid really, except maybe Paris Hilton, but I apologize for the way that sounded.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Jan 2009
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quote:Two hundred years ago, if I were really into whittling or something, me and my girl would have the same issue. It's not the whittling, or the video games, that are the problem.
You know, I doubt this is the case. It's much easier for a video game to be immersive than for activities like whittling or weaving.
Says the man buried in sawdust.
Posts: 158 | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: To me, yes, it is less of one. Although I'm having trouble putting my finger on exactly why.
One reason is that except for some extremely rare exceptions, there's not really any reason to play video games except to entertain yourself. That's not so with music. ...
Rare here.
In South Korea there are people that make $100k USD playing computer games as a sport for pretty enthusiastic spectators. There's a TV channel, groupies, etc.
Not that this is meant to change your opinion, just to note that there are cultural differences in the way that video games are perceived as a personal activity (while athletic sports are more "socially" perceived here).
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posted
In the same way, reading comic books is seen as a less intellectual activity than reading "real" books, often regardless of the content of either.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Being a movie buff is almost cultured, while loving TV makes you a couch potato.
It's rather silly the double standards we often have for various activities and behaviors.
I look at relationships this way - if someone doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, for whatever reason, you're better off. If you love video games, and to someone that's a deal breaker, then you're better off without that person. You wouldn't be happy with them anyway.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
I would take the time to type out a thoughtful response to this thread, but my husband and I are fighting Nazi zombies on Call of Duty: World at War in a few minutes. I'll see you guys later.
FWIW, gaming is one of the few things my hubby and I have found we can do together and enjoy together...our other hobbies don't overlap much.
Okay...on re-reading that sounds bad. We're married, we enjoy being married there are LOTS of things we enjoy doing together...but our tastes in books, movies, and TV shows are usually very different. So at home, in the evenings, we have a choice of either watching different things, pursuing different activities (me reading, him doing woodwork for example) or killing virtual zombies together. We enjoy killing zombies together. We enjoy the other things too...and sometimes it's good to do things separately and pursue individual interests...but zombie killing is also fine. Especially when the alien gun comes up on the random weapon draw....I love the alien gun.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Belle: I would take the time to type out a thoughtful response to this thread, but my husband and I are fighting Nazi zombies on Call of Duty: World at War in a few minutes.
That's lovely!
What's with this "quote block" crap? Why can't I just quote someone?
Posts: 158 | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: In the same way, reading comic books is seen as a less intellectual activity than reading "real" books, often regardless of the content of either.
Are there really people who consider a romance novel more intellectual than a graphic novel?
I guess it's possible if they haven't looked at either one.
Posts: 4287 | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Are there really people who consider a romance novel more intellectual than a graphic novel?
Well, I'm just as likely to look down on women who read romance novels as on guys who read graphic novels. Except I'm more likely to keep my feelings to myself when it involves women reading romance novels than guys with graphic novels. I don't know why; that's not fair; but it seems easier to get away with saying something about guys than about girls. Probably the reverse is true, too: men can make fun of women reading Harlequins, more than women can.
As for women who read graphic novels - well, I only know of one. And if there are any men who read romance novels ... I have no words for that.
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I usually have to wrench the remote out of my wife's hands to play Fallout 3 or Left 4 Dead.
I wish she'd go and read a romance novel so I can play! Anyone have any recommendations I can give her?
Posts: 3486 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by JennaDean: As for women who read graphic novels - well, I only know of one. And if there are any men who read romance novels ... I have no words for that.
You need to get out more. I know plenty of both.
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