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Four score and seven years ago our hamster fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all hamsters are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met here on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of it as a final resting place for those hamsters who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But in a larger sense we can not dedicate - we can not consecrate - we can not hallow this ground. The brave hamsters, living and dead, who struggled, here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but can never forget what they did here.
It is for us, the living hamsters, rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they have, thus far, so nobly carried on. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead hamsters we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead hamsters shall not have died in vain; that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the hamsters, by the hamsters, for the hamsters, shall not perish from the earth.
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I would have gone with forehamsters, but oh well.
"Friends, Romans, Hamstermen, lend me your ears!"
"Of all the tunnel joints in all the cages in all the pet store, she walks into mine."
"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a hamster of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his wheel a thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is! My kibble rises at it."
"Come on everybody it's the human dance."
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elder berries."
"Good morning. In less than an hour, walk-about balls from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest spherical battle in the history of hamsterkind. "Hamsterkind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be nibbling for our freedom... Not from cats, plastic cages, or young children with poor motor control... but from annihilation. We are nibbling for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American hamster holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not squeak quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive!' Today we celebrate our Hamsterpendence Day!"
"What are we goin' to do tonight Brain?" "The same thing we do every night Pinky, try to hamster over the world."
[This message has been edited by Pyre Dynasty (edited August 04, 2010).]
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Do you mean to tell me, Katie Scarlett O'Hara, that hamsters don't mean anything to you? Why, hamsters are the only thing in the world worth workin' for, worth fightin' for, worth dyin' for, because they're the only thing that lasts.
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You only think I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny. I switch glasses while your back was turned. Ha ha you fool, you fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous, never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well known is this, "Never go in against a Hamster when death is on the line!
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"Hamster, hamster by candle light. / Do it in a casserole is doing it right. / When they're in season, they're pretty pleasin'."
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Not Earth's feeble thirty-six hundred Stars visible to the hamster eye; Lagash was in the center of a giant cluster. Thirty thousand mighty suns shone down in a soul-searing splendor that was more frighteningly cold in its awful indifference than the bitter wind that shivered across the cold, horribly bleak world.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. I have in this box twenty-three hamsters. Hamsters which have been painstakingly trained over the past few years, to squeak at a selected pitch. [He raises a hamster by its tail.] This is E sharp...and this one is G. You get the general idea. Note these hamsters are so arranged upon this rack, that when played in the correct order they will squeak "The Bells of St Mary's." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you on the hamster organ. "The Bells of St Mary's." Thank you. [He produces two mallets.] Posts: 8809 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Did they look like hamsters? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Hamsters do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a *explicative removed* how crazy they are!
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Village au fond de la vallée / Comme égaré, presqu'ignoré / Voici qu'en la nuit étoilée / Un nouveau-né nous est donné / Jean-Franáois Nicot qu'il se nomme / Il est joufflu, tendre et rosé / Â l'église, beau petit hamster, / Demain tu sera baptisé...
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If all the hamsters in the world were lined four abreast and marched into the sea, the line would never end...
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By the shores of Gitche Gumee, by the shining Big-Sea-Water, stood the wigwam of Nokomis, Hamster of the Moon, Nokomis.
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In many ways, the work of a hamster is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative hamsterism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we hamsters must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our hamsterism designating it so.
(Was saving this for a debate elsewhere on Roger Ebert, but it's one of those locked-up forums and I couldn't figure out how to get in.)
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Well, let's say this hamster represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's sample, it would be a hamster...thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
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"I want him dead. I want his hamster dead! I want his cage BURNED TO THE GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS BEDDING!" Posts: 2195 | Registered: Aug 2006
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"No matter what the rational part of my head thinks, when I see someone hurt a woman my inner hamster wants to reach for the nearest bone and go Kubrickian on someones head."
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A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a hamster waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that hamster.
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