posted
3400 word story. First thirteen lines below:
Gramps had two obsessions—World War II and King Arthur.
The War because he served in it. Arthur because he met him.
Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. I know it sounds like the delusional ravings of an old man. And that’s just what I thought...at first.
Gramps was living in a care center when he told me, waiting out the last days of his life, walled in by the fog of Alzheimer’s. It had been the third center my folks had tried and the only one he liked—or at least he seemed to like it. He didn’t make a fuss, didn’t cry out in the night, didn’t fight the orderlies.
I think it must have been because they let him keep his books with him. None of the other centers had allowed it. He had dozens of books lined up neatly on a little set of shelves, ordered by size from largest to smallest. Gramps had always been finicky about how his books were stacked. The Alzheimer's hadn't taken that.
posted
I'd like to take a look at it if you can wait until next week. I like geriatric stories, old people are funny! My e-mail is listed. -BA-
Posts: 471 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Though I'd cut the whole "Yeah I know it sounds crazy" paragraph. We know it sounds crazy. We know it sounds like delusional ravings. The fact that your narrator is telling us the story at all gives us the last sentence of the paragraph. So why tell us? I think it weakens the opening, which is strong, and doesn't give us anything we don't know.
posted
CVG, My Mom used to work in a nursing home a bunch of years ago. I used to go help her out with activities. I once saw an old guy get up and go take a leak in the fireplace. That's where I am coming from. -BA-
Posts: 471 | Registered: Sep 2003
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