posted
i wrote this paper for English (surprise surprise). However, I enjoyed writing the final product so much, I intend to stick with the paper, and maybe even publish it to a sports magazine in the future. However, before i can do that, I must make sure it is up to scratch. It is 1893 words, and chronicles the history of the sport in the United States from its beginings, to today. I would appreciate any help I can get on this, especially looking for anybody interested in reading the whole thing, as the first thirteen lines only introduce the idea of teams rising against odds, and not get into the United Sttes team until paragraph 2. thank you! --------------------------------------------------------- In sports, the term “Cinderella story” is used to describe a particularly mediocre team that, come tournament time, shocks the sports nation by excelling far beyond expectations, and beating teams that are truly out of their league. This was seen just recently during the NCAA basketball tournament when George Mason defied the odds, and, from a field of 64, advanced to become a part of the final four. In fact, even in distant memory, there are such stories that people still speak of as prime examples of rising above the odds, such as the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team’s victory over what is arguably the greatest hockey team ever to play. But people generally don’t think the US soccer team when talking about great sports upsets.
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
i would especially appreciate the views of those who dislike the sport of soccer, i figure if i can capture that audience, the paper will have a chance at getting published
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
This is a nonfiction. Should probably be posted in the nonfiction section. But if you want to I'll give it a read, if I was flipping through the paper I would only start reading this if it had a catchy title. Of course I'm the type of guy who doesn't watch team sports on TV unless I'm at a party. Paint ball and MMA(mixed martial arts) are far more entertaining imho.
Posts: 48 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
You can post it in non-fiction, but there is no bar to posting it here.
This opening feels a little...unfocused. I think that you need to reorient your prose towards an audience familiar with sports. Right now, it very much has the feel of being written for the wrong audience.
posted
yeah, the paper itself as it is right now is targetted towards my professor who doesn't know anything about sports, so, yeah. I would like to break away from that
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
it went very well, thanks for asking! i got an A on the final draft (which is what i am trying to get people to read now). like i said before, you guys no longer have to worry about me begging for help on hoework assignments. everything i post from here on in is for pure enjoyment.
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Congrats. It sounded very familiar, so I decided to search for soccer.
Reading about sports is fairly dry reading, so I wasn't planning on offering, but I'll read the whole thing if you can wait until sometime after next weekend for a response.
posted
thanks. i tried to spruce it up a bit so that non-sports fans could follow it without being bored out of their minds! just let me know when you are ready, and i will send it over, thank you for offering!
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
I detest soccer. That is I detest watching soccer. I used to play the game years ago, so I can't say that I hated that aspect of it---only when I broke two teeth when I tried to head a goalie-punched ball back into the goal (I scored incidentally). If you want, I'll give it a read and tell you what I think.
Posts: 440 | Registered: Aug 2005
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