A few pages had gone blank, several were complete, and more were squirling, or forming, or reforming, or just steadily appearing line by line. Some of the spare pages she had ordered for latecomers were showing signs of life.

A couple of pages had frozen in misty circular whisps, and she blew a kiss to them, hoping that perhaps their writers would find energy anew.

"AAARRRGGGG. I needed to get my word count down by about 400 words, so I went through my story with a fine tooth comb, and now I need to get my word count down by 478 words. Does that happen to anyone else?"

"Yes," murmured the Witch, "Happens all the time. It's about focus, the essential elements of the story." She cloned her big red editor's pencil several times and magicked the clones towards Hatrack ...

Turning to another page she muttered, "Inner critic. Bah ...it's the Angel of Never Getting Stuff Tangled again." She invoked her Voice: "Angst, begone!"

The ancient grandfather clock in the corner of her study chimed, and she gazed at it, calculating. "Just a few more days to the deadline," she whispered. "Now, that delicious final burst of surprising creativity ..."

Snapper
Honu
Shimiqua
Bycin
Satate
Sherpa7
Unwritten

If you have sent me a story and I have not acknowledged receipt, please check you have my e-mail address correct and send it again with "hatrack contest" in the subject line.

I anticipate a few more stories as the deadline approaches, including my own ...

snapper
honu
shimiqua
bycin
satate
sherpa7
unwritten
JohnMac
LucyintheSky
BoredCrow
Gan
TaleSpinner

If you've e-mailed a story to me and not received an acknowledgement, or if you're not in the list above, then either there's a glitch in the internet (please check you have my e-mail address correct and send it again) or the Witch o' Words doesn't like you ... just kidding ;-)

Tomorrow morning, UK time, I'll check e-mail once more for late subs and then set about posting first 13s and sending out the stories for crits and voting. Hopefully that will all be done by Sunday evening.

Some people have kindly offered to crit despite not themselves having entered stories. If you are one such, please e-mail confirmation of your offer to me and I'll send you the stories by return.

If you've finished a story but it doesn't fit the 2000 word limit, or if you get one together in the next few days, if you would like to e-mail it to me I'll circulate it to participating Hatrackers and maybe -- maybe -- the Witch o' Words will give it an Honourable Mention.

Assuming one or two more stories arrive in the next few hours I'm thinking of sending them out in two groups of six to eight, as we discussed previously, with the winners of the two groups going forwards into a final round of voting. I'll include detailed instructions for crits and voting in the e-mail containing the stories.

Magic! I'm sure that the Witch o' Words, myself, and everyone who entered looks forward to reading them, voting and critiqueing.

I've posted the first 13s in the Challenges area and have sent to everyone the two anthologies of six stories each, for votes and crits. Detailed instructions are in the e-mail.

(I'll wait a few days for stragglers, then send out late stories and one that was subbed for crits only, in a separate "for honourable mentions" e-mail. At that time I'll send all the stories, also, to those who have kindly offered to crit, even though they have not entered stories.)

The Witch o' Words assures me she's very pleased with the stories. Indeed, she can't be with us now for she's too busy reading -- too busy, even, to magic me up some Assam.

"You would not be doing it without me," said Zac's voice in my ear.

"No, Zac," I said. "And thanks for reminding me to thank you for making the spreadsheet."

Well, for voting and critting the stories, yes, we do so for the group our story isn't in. (The table in the e-mail is designed that way, to indicate which group you vote and crit.)

For voting on the first 13s, please keep all the stories in mind, both groups. So we'll get a result on the first 13s in the first round.

quote:

---

Triggers
========

- an unusual aroma;
- a secret library;
- an invisible child.

Rules
=====

Sudden fiction, 2000 words max.

Use one or more of the triggers to create the story's concept, theme, a central character or object.

Closing date for entries: 18.00 GMT Saturday Feb 28th (about six weeks from now)

Closing date for first round crits and votes: 18:00 GMT Sat March 14th (about two weeks to read, crit and vote the stories in your group)

Closing date for final round crits and votes: 18:00 GMT Sat March 21st (about one week to read, crit and vote the stories that make it to the final round--less than the two weeks before because everyone will want to know who won!)

Entries limited to 24 contestants (three groups of eight)

In the first round you crit at least four of the stories in your group.
In the final round you crit at least one of the stories in the final group.

Usual Hatrack rules for content apply. Please, no fanfic, no use of copyright stuff.

Your commitments:
=================

Write a story and send it in by closing date above
Vote on first 13s by closing date for first round, above
Vote on first round and submit four crits by closing date for first round, above
Vote on final round and submit one crit by closing date for final round, above

For extra kudos you can:
========================

Use all the triggers
Crit more stories
Help me crit the stories that don't fare so well
Suggest triggers for the next contest (two or three months after this one)

Submission Guide
================
e-mail your story in .doc, .rtf or plain .txt format to me by 18.00 GMT on the closing date above.

Please do not put early drafts of your story through the regular F&F threads for first 13s, for that would destroy the annonymity of voting.
(If you use Word 2007 please save in .rtf or an earlier .doc format because we don't all have the format converters for earlier versions of Word.)

In the e-mail subject line please put "Hatrack Contest--Story name--author's Hatrack name" in order to get past my spam filters.

In the body of your email please put your Hatrack name and your e-mail address.

On the first page of the manuscript (and nowhere else) put your name and the word count.

Voting and Critting process
===========================

Voting and critting is anonymous.

I'll create a fresh thread for first 13s and post them all there so we can vote on them. We all vote on the first 13s (because that doesn't take much work).

To crit and vote on the stories ...

I will delete names from manuscripts, assign them numbers, and reformat them only to the extent necessary for ease of handling. I'll allocate the stories at random to three groups, combine the stories for each group into one anthology file. I'll divide contestants also into three groups and send one anthology file to each group for first round votes and crits, and I'll make sure that a contestant isn't in the group that gets his or her story.

For the final round I'll make a fresh anthhology of the finalists and send it to everyone for final votes and crits.

(If you can't read Word .doc files let me know.)

In the first round you vote for your top three stories. I will tally the votes like this: three points for your first choice, two for your second, one for your third. You cannot vote for your own story.

I will not be voting myself so that I have the time and independence to manage things, and break ties if necessary.

In case someone doesn't vote, please include at the end of your 'vote-and-crit' e-mail your votes for the other stories, but not crits.

You must crit your first four choices and send the four crits together with your vote to me by 18.00 GMT on the voting due date above. (Votes without crits don't count.) If you don't vote I'll delete your story and redistribute the votes.

Then we'll repeat the process for the final round, but with just one more crit.

Please use this vote and crit format in your e-mail to make my administrative life easier:

--------------------------
Your hatrack name

First 13 1 -- story number
First 13 2 -- story number
First 13 3 -- story number

Story 1 -- story number
Your crit of story 1

Story 2 -- story number
Your crit of story 2

Story 3 -- story number
Your crit of story 3

Story 4 -- story number
Your crit of story 4

Story 5 -- story number
Story 6 -- story number
Story 7 -- story number
Story 8 -- story number

---------------------------

If any stories don't get at least three crits, I'll crit them and request the three winners to help me, so everyone should get at least three or four crits.

If for some reason you're unable to submit your story or vote on time, please let me know and we'll make due allowance.

If I don't hear from you by the due voting date I'll delete your story and redistribute the votes received appropriately.

---

A minor correction: I plan to vote in the first round because my story is not in the group within which I'll vote.

The votes are starting to trickle in -- and if we get everyone's vote early, I'll start the final voting early ...

"Zac," I said.

"That's an explanation?"

"You're a Witch, you're supposed to know everything."

"I am?" She sipped her tea, watching me.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm annoyed with Zac and since he won't talk to me, I'm transferring my anger onto you."

A cup of hot, sweet Assam appeared at my side.

"Talk to me instead, then," she said.

"I need Zac to help me with the spreadsheet for the contest, and he's gone and disappeared into a fractal recursion. I think he's lost himself in an infinite loop."

"Speak English, dear," she said.

"He's my artificially intelligent computer. Lives in my ear, talks to me, does analytic tasks, googles, reminds me to take backups, that sort of thing, and--"

Zac chimed.

"You only have four votes and crits so far, so quit worrying," said Zac.

"Yes but--"

"The spreadsheet is on your desktop. I put it together for you in about ten trillion spare CPU cycles."

"Thanks, Zac. How's the fractal research going?"

"Fine," he said. "And I do not lose myself in infinite loops or any other kind of loop. I have to go now, but I'll be back next weekend to help you count the votes for the first 13s and the first round of story votes."

A faint click signalled Zac's departure.

"Testy little bugger isn't he," said the Witch o' Words.

"You can hear him?"

"I'm a Witch," she said.

"Yeah," I said. "Silly me. You like the stories?"

"They're grand. I'd say they're magic, but they're all the product of human talent, no spells involved." She flipped the pages of her tome, smiling, then waved her wand at Zac's spreadsheet and opened it. "And I'm looking forward to seeing the votes and crits by next Saturday, 18:00 GMT."

"I can," said Zac.

"How many votes and crits have we received so far?" the Witch o' Words asked.

"Seven of the twelve that we expect are in," said Zac.

"And I've sent them all acknowledgements," I said.

"I wonder who's winning," said the Witch o' Words.

"Everyone's a winner," said Zac.

As of this morning I have received and acknowledged first round crits and votes from all but two entrants ...

We all recall the rules, which said,

quote:

---

If for some reason you're unable to submit your story or vote on time, please let me know and we'll make due allowance.

If I don't hear from you by the due voting date I'll delete your story and redistribute the votes received appropriately.

---

And so to the better news ...

We have a winner of the first 13s -- but I realized when I was tallying the votes that I can't announce the winner because that would wreck the anonymity of the second round voting.

Suffice to say, two stories were ahead of the rest with 12 and 11 points, and two stories tied for third place with 8.

As several people said, there were several good stories. The stories were divided amongst the two groups at random and while the votes in one group produced a clear winner, votes for four stories in the other group were very close. Rather than leave a good story out of the second round, I've included all the stories that scored six or more points in the second round voting, a total of seven stories. They are story numbers:

3
4
5
6
7
10
11

Everyone has been enormously generous with their time and insight in the crits. Some have provided crits for all the stories!

If you did more than four crits already, please just send your vote. If you did just four crits in the first round, please send one more crit with your vote.

Please send your votes (and crit) to me by 18:00 GMT Sat March 21st.

"We had to wait until the last minute for the last vote," she said, "but at last, Zac has told me the results."

"Too many 'lasts'," I said. "And he told you before me?"

"You were asleep, and I couldn't wait any longer."

She grinned, flipping through the new pages in her tome.

"All the stories were winners," she said, "and I've enjoyed reading each and every one of them. The contestants put so much work into them, not to mention the magic of their imaginations--"

"Yes, but who won?" I said.

"Two stories tied for third. 'Behind Locked Doors' and 'Jasmine'."

She flipped a couple of pages.

"Then in second place was 'The One Part Oer Million'."

The final page she turned slowly.

"And the winner was," she looked up with a huge grin, "'Kindle'."

Zac chimed -- how would we have done this without Zac to do the counting, I wondered -- Zac chimed and said, "I expect everyone would like to know who wrote which stories …

troy "Come Down Here Where You Ought To Be"
shimiqua "The Distraction"
satate "Behind Locked Doors"
BoredCrow "Jasmine"
TaleSpinner "Air Monkeys"
unwritten "Kindle"
LucyintheSky "Magic Stinks: A Cautionary Fairytale"
JohnMac "Sacred Trust"
Gan "Jonas the Invisible"
snapper "The One Part Per Million"
bycin "A Breath of Dead Air"
sherpa7 "Receptacle"

"Thanks Zac," I said.

"And please thank everyone for my new reading," said the Witch o' Words. "I'll know where to come when next I need some fresh, exciting reading ..."

I am looking forward to reading all the critiques.

I didn't like the juxtaposition of the man's daughter against his desire for the body of a real woman. A bit squicky. A lot of the story feels like exposition. The author explaining events, rather than the reader experiencing the events. I think I'd like it if the story were to begin when she is transported to the magic district; the rest could be filled in with a quick line or two of dialogue. Once you establish that she's cinderella, our minds can fill in all the information that came before. The scene in the magic district is where the story comes to life. I think you can skip most of the beginning section and most of the end section. For example, if the scene at the ball simply began with her trying to extract herself from the prince's company, and him wanting her to stay (with, at first, seeming princely innocence), we would know that they fell in love (or we would think so) because that's what we expect to happen, knowing the story of Cinderella. You have an advantage here in that you can actually totally skip the boring parts (the exposition) in this story -- because we already know it! I really liked your writing in the middle section. Gross, but evocative.

#

Sacred Trust

I don't have a problem with the POV shifts here. It seems like you know what you're doing, but once you move over to the grandfather's POV (Inwardly, he hoped the boy was wrong), I don't think you should use Grandpa anymore to describe him -- because he probably doesn't think of himself as "Grandpa". I don't think of myself as "Uncle" for example; I have a name! ... When Bobby says, "I'm only seven!" -- I'd like it better if that line was cut. It seems to be more for the benefit of the readership than something he might really say. And we don't need it. Just "How can I save the world" would be better. Most seven years olds don't (in my experience) think of their age as a specific handicap. It just doesn't occur to them. If it's important (seventh son of a seventh son, seven years old) -- maybe have the grandpa say how old the boy is (or think it) at some point? ... I like it when he shoves the boy into the pit. Overall, I liked it quite a bit. A lot of good things going on. Descriptive writing, an original story, nice characters. I think it can be sharpened up with a few more passes. I think the segment when Bobby is inside the consciousness of the Ancient could be expanded (not too much) into a really alien-seeming and (my mind wants to say) lyrically strange few paragraphs. That seems to me to be called for. Nice work.

#

Jonas The Invisible

Just kidding. Great Job everybody, and especially you Unwritten, I am surprised that mine did so well. So many excellent stories to chose from.

And for the record, Troy. I thought yours was the best (but not by much).

Thank you, authors, for your patience. Here are the rest of my comments on the remaining stories that were in my crit group. Thanks for the reads.

PARTS PER MILLION

Pretty solid. A few nits. "The deceit a co-worker told my boss when he explained why his expense accountant was so large." Doesn't quite parse. "'The toothpaste you used has whitening in it.'" What's the whitening agent? Peroxide? Might sound more consistent. I thought he overreacted to the 11 year old menstruating, maybe, for someone who is newly about the stink of nature. Somehow I didn't think it warranted an 'Oh God' and a running out. I got that it was the buildup of things, but maybe add one more thing that before the running out. "'Do you think early man could smell like this?'" Made me go HUH? Where'd that come from? And then you lose me a bit at the end. I feel like there must be some other solution... And something else behind the problem. Just... something more. I'm not sure what, it just felt to me as if the story came to a sudden stop, rather than a resolution. I like it when he shouts to the dog.

#

A BREATH OF DEAD AIR

Great voice. I like that your story and mine shared a common theme (poop!). I would have liked to see more intermingling of in-the-moment action to go along with the MC telling this tale. For example, to my way of thinking, the first sentence of the story could be 'I was being extra careful as I made my way through the tunnels....' with the preceding business about smelling death and getting beaten by his da and the brown flood dropped into the main action of the story. Some creative dragging and dropping could give this story more balance and flow. This is my favorite story in the group. Well done. I liked that the MC, when he talks, sounds much more childish than when he narrates. I took from that seeming-inconsistency that he is recalling childhood events though he himself is much older and more sophisticated now than when the story took place.

#

RECEPTACLE