The world is ruled by dragons, and the remaining humans live in the middle of a dragon war they don’t understand. Protecting the humans is the Dragon Guard, magic wielding humans who have a secret.

The guards are infected with a disease which gives them magic, only the more magic they use, the sooner they will turn dragon. All of the dragons were once humans, until they succumbed to the disease. Some call it evolution, but others know better.

A boy crazy young woman named Joi is infected with the disease. Because of the strength of her human blood she has more access to magic than the other guards, and also will live longer before she hatches. She is placed in a position of leadership in the guard despite her gender and her training. She falls for a young guard named Connor, and after he hatches, she is determined to find a cure for the disease in order to save him. Even if the answer comes from the dragons.
She visits the dragon city, and discovers that in order to find a cure she must be willing to sacrifice the life of her young, and uninfected brother Caleb.

Dragon Fate is a complete YA Fantasy at 62,000 words with sword fights, magic, and dragons, but no damsels in distress.

Thanks people in advance.
~Sheena

I don't think your synopsis is bad. It tells us about the main character and sets up the conflict. You probably need to go on and describe how it is resolved--remember what I wrote elsewhere about avoiding the temptation to make your synopsis into a "teaser." Are there any other characters important enough to be explicitly mentioned?

[Edit] "Protecting the human's" what? And which human?

Oh, did you mean "protecting the humans"?

Watch out for apostrophes. They look like big red flags when they're in the wrong place.

Ard-choille,
Rob Roy

It seems you're the synopsis expert here.

I've edited per your advice. Any other takers?

'The guards are infected with a disease which gives them magic, only the more magic they use, the sooner they will turn dragon.' I think you could split this sentence up into two sentences and I don't think you need the word 'will'. You can just say 'they turn dragon'.

'All of the dragons were once humans, until they succumbed to the disease. Some call it evolution, but others know better.' This is good. I like this.

'A boy crazy young woman named Joi is infected with the disease. Because of the strength of her human blood she has more access to magic than the other guards, and also will live longer before she hatches'. Could you say something here about her heritage, why her blood is stronger than the other gaurds? I think that's important to mention.

'She falls for a young guard named Connor.' I think you should use stronger language than 'falls for' that makes it sound like a crush, but if she's willing to do anything for him obviously it's more than that.

'Even if the answer comes from the dragons.' This is good.

'She visits the dragon city, and discovers that in order to find a cure she must be willing to sacrifice the life of her young, and uninfected brother Caleb.' This is good.

My only issue with the last paragraph is it's still kind of a 'teaser' because it doesn't really say how it ends. I'm left wondering if she does sacrifice Caleb. This would be a good thing if you were writing copy for the back of the book to try to entice readers to buy it, but Rob says 'spoilers' not 'teasers' for a synopsis, so you should probably say how it ends.

There's my two cents. Hope it helps. Good luck.

Angie

You might want to take a second look at your punctuation.

"The guards are infected with a disease which gives them magic, only the more magic they use..."

That comma should be a semicolon, and I'm not sure about that "only." It's fine in dialogue, but narrative needs to be more formal.

"She visits the dragon city, and discovers that in order to find a cure she must be willing to sacrifice the life of her young, and uninfected brother Caleb."

That comma is superfluous.

And incidentally, is Caleb a teenager? Because if he is, it might not be that much of a sacrifice. So maybe a word or two about how she feels about that would be good. Synopses might be terse, but feelings about critical moments are important enough to at least mention. Perhaps something like, "...uninfected brother Caleb, whom she adores." (Or maybe "who always gets on her nerves anyway, so it's a win-win." It's up to you, really.)

I have a problem with commas, I like to stick them were they have no buisness being.

Thank you Angie and Rob for your comments, I think it will make the synopsis better.