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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Hatrack Groups » WotF Critique Group -- 2013 Q03 (Page 2)

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Author Topic: WotF Critique Group -- 2013 Q03
LDWriter2
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I'm only one here but I don't mind mb, that seems to happen every quarter so it's nothing new or strange. [Big Grin]
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WriterDan
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Looks like we are already sorted out for the quarter, but thought that I post this just for posterity's sake. [Smile]

Group 1:
LDWriter
RyanB
History/Dr.Bob
Utahute72

Group 2:
Osiris
Jed
AYeatts
mbwood

As has been mentioned:
If you're listed in Group 1, send your stories to Group 1 this time around.
If you're listed in Group 2, send your stories to Group 2 this time around.

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LDWriter2
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Okay, sent mine.

And I'm over half way done with Dr. Bob's which I think might be his best writing so far. That is all I will say about it except I think it's got everything it needs for David.


Speaking of best writing. I think mine is good writing--maybe not my best but close-but I've thought that before. Once one critter agreed with me even though an editor hasn't yet.

It has try-fail cycles, setting, the five human senses--even though evidently David thinks there seven of them--a clear problem and a hopefully a fine conclusion. And maybe that extra something that makes it great writing--we shall see though.

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A Yeatts
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Finished mine last night. Will get it sent out this morning to Jed, Osiris, and mbwood. Thanks guys!

Anna

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Brendan
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I'm far from ready with my story, but I am willing to join a group for an extra pair of eyes, if you want? That way I wouldn't feel guilty asking for a last minute read like last quarter. [Smile]
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A Yeatts
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Jump on in, Brendan. We're happy to have you!
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Osiris
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Sure Brendan, I'm running behind, too, so don't worry!
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A Yeatts
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Sending mine now! Whew!

Brendan are you joining Group 1 or 2?

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LDWriter2
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Good, things are warming up.

Even though I have received only one story and sent the crit for it.


Which might be good [Wink] --I was able to finish the revision of that 10,000 word story I want to send out this weekend. Just need to double check three sets of words I keep switching and it'll be ready.
Only three weeks late on a personal deadline.

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Brendan
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Ok, I'll join the first group. Ready and waiting.
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LDWriter2
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I need to send mine to Brendan hopefully tomorrow night no promises, busy around here of late.

And so far doesn't look good for my story.

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LDWriter2
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I just to want to double check, unless I dropped one someplace--and I have before--the only story I have received is Dr. Bob's. If someone else did send me one please tell me. I will look a third time for it.

And I have received two crits. Oops, still need to send mine to Brenden. Sorry I forgot.

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LDWriter2
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Well, I finished half of the crits I received. Tightened up the story quite a bit. I didn't cut out nearly as many sections as suggested but a bunch of them and I cut out a few things on my own. One subscene was really too long, may still be.

Not a whole lot of nitpicks, I'll see if crit number two caught more.

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LDWriter2
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Okay, finished with crit number two still very little in the way of nitpicks. Either I did an amazing job along those lines this time around or two people have the same problems seeing them as I do. [Wink]
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Osiris
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Slowly but surely working through my story. Sorry it is taking me so long all.
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History
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I'm a bit of a mess at present, recovering from facial trauma with surgery planned next week, which was the week I had planned to have to write.

Thus I'm rushing to complete my second draft (thanks for your crits Group 1). I'll send it out to Group 2 in the next day or so, again before deadline.

Brendan, I'll include you in my Group 2 mailing since you joined Group 1 after I'd sent out my first draft.

As yet, I've only received LD's and Ryan's stories to crit. I hope they were helpful.

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

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Osiris
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Yikes Bob, worry about your health first! We'll be here when you get it done.
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History
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Well, "done".
At least the second draft, and on its way to you.

Now off to have my eyes dilated and make sure I didn't detach a retina (I'm pretty sure I didn't, but they all insist I get checked).

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

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LDWriter2
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Yikes, Dr. Bob.

Glad you are doing better,

And you probably should get it checked to make sure...it doesn't hurt to check but then again yes sometimes it does but still...

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Utahute72
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Let me add my wishes for you getting better, Dr. Bob.

I finally sent out my story to group 1 (while this might seem slow, it's practically warp speed for me.)

Thanks ahead of time guys.

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RyanB
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quote:
Originally posted by History:
Well, "done".
At least the second draft, and on its way to you.

Now off to have my eyes dilated and make sure I didn't detach a retina (I'm pretty sure I didn't, but they all insist I get checked).

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

Sounds like a story I'd like to hear from next year's gala.
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History
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quote:
Originally posted by RyanB:
Sounds like a story I'd like to hear from next year's gala.

From your lips to G-d's ears.
If I am so blessed to be on the podium next year, I will not look as pretty as I would have before my mishap. Unlike a famous young British boy wizard, my lightning shaped scar runs down the length of my nose, and I'm growing a goatee to hide the scars and bruises below my lip and chin (initially because I didn't want try to shave around the sutures).
I'll look a bit Mephistophelean--but some ladies like that. [Wink]

Utahute and Anna,
Thank you for your stories yesterday. You should have received my crits last evening.

Jed, Osiris, mbwood,
Send your stories when you are ready. If you get them to me soon, I'll get them back to you before my nose surgery Monday (it will be nice to breathe again). If not, then they may have to wait a week or so.

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

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Osiris
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I'm so behind it isn't even funny. Things at the anthology are really ramping up... way too many demands on my time, but I don't want to drop out of the quarter.
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A Yeatts
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I've sent crits to Jed, mbwood, and Dr Bob. If you didn't receive them, please let me know so I can resend.

Thank you to mbwood and Dr Bob for the crits I've received. Both were very helpful. If anyone else has sent one, I unfortunately didn't receive it.

No rush to anyone else in either returning crits or sending stories. But Group 1, feel free to send your stories whenever you're ready and I'll get them back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks!
Anna

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LDWriter2
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I am working on one crit and I have one crit to go over for my story.

The second group will get a slightly different tale. A ripped out the threads of one plot point I added just before sending it out the first time. The stitches on that addition didn't really fit in after all.

And I believe there are a couple of minor changes too.

Plus hopefully better writing.

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A Yeatts
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LDWriter, has your email changed from the one posted? I think I remember an email from you saying as much but now I can't find it. Would you be so kind as to send me your new one if you do? I'm trying to get my 2nd draft out.

Thanks ever so much!
Anna [Smile]

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A Yeatts
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Second draft sent out to Group 1.

Osiris, on the off chance you haven't had a chance to crit mine yet, I sent you a copy of draft #2. But I will happily take feedback from you on any draft you're willing to critique for me... you've got a keen eye and I'll take it where I can get it. [Smile]

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LDWriter2
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Oops, didn't think about but I will have to send group two my new E-mail address.


And while I'm at it I have one more crit to run through on my story which I will start tonight. How long that takes depends on how many comments I have to go through and how close they are to each other---it can get confusing when a bunch of side comments are very close to each other.

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LDWriter2
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Okay, came back to say I finished it. Didn't take as long as I feared.

I was shown some more nitpicks but still the number was way down from usual.

I'm going to wait a day or three to think about deleting a couple of sections.

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Osiris
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Anna, thank you for the complement. You read my mind, btw. Once I'm ready to start critiquing, I will be e-mailing everyone to ask if they'd like me to crit the version they sent me or if they'd like to send me a revision.
I'm hoping to have my story finished by the end of the week and sent out, after which I'll turn to critiquing for WoTF.

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mbwood
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Hello, Osiris & Jed....

wherefore art thou? I haven't got crits back from either of you (and Osiris, if you sent your piece - please resend).

I have only received one crit back (thank you Anna), which leaves me with only one opinion.

mbwood

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Osiris
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quote:
Originally posted by mbwood:
Hello, Osiris & Jed....

wherefore art thou? I haven't got crits back from either of you (and Osiris, if you sent your piece - please resend).

I have only received one crit back (thank you Anna), which leaves me with only one opinion.

mbwood

Sorry MB, I'm just so swamped with other things right now. I'm co-editing the next triangulation anthology while trying to finish my WoTF story, plus full-time job, 2 kids ,etc etc. I'm hoping to send my story out sometime next week, then I'll turn my attention to WoTF crits.

If you like, you can revise your story and send me the revised version when it is done. That way you'll get an extra set of eyes on the next version of it. That goes for anyone waiting on a crit from me.

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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Uhm, mbwood, I think "wherefore" means "why"? (As in Juliet's speech, "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" meaning, why do you have to be Romeo, the son of my family's enemy?)
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Osiris
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Hey all,

I hate to do this, once again, but I have to throw in the towel for this quarter. Some personal issues have developed over the past two days that require my attention more than anything else, even our beloved writing, so I am sidelining everything (except my commitment to Triangulation) until I can resolve those personal issues.

I'm sorry once again. Good luck to everyone this quarter.

Thanks,
Amr

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Brendan
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It's an interesting question KDW/mbwood, blurred a little by "Where art thou?" question to Adam and Eve by G-d just after the fall. Given that Shakespeare was alive during the writing on the King James translation, which was influential? Shakespeare's play on the translation or the translation on Shakespeare's play? Or was it just a coincidence? (For those that use Occam's razor to jump to the conclusion that it was coincidence, there is an urban legend that, on his 46th birthday, Shakespeare helped word the 46th Psalm. As a test of this theory, count 46 words from the beginning of that Psalm, and 46 words from the end, and post up here what you find.)
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History
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quote:
Originally posted by Osiris:
Hey all,

I hate to do this, once again, but I have to throw in the towel for this quarter. Some personal issues have developed over the past two days that require my attention more than anything else, even our beloved writing, so I am sidelining everything (except my commitment to Triangulation) until I can resolve those personal issues.

I'm sorry once again. Good luck to everyone this quarter.

Thanks,
Amr

Seems the only way I'm going to get you to read one of my stories, Osiris, is if I submit to "Triangulation". [Wink]

Dr. Bob

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RyanB
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quote:
Originally posted by Osiris:
Hey all,

I hate to do this, once again, but I have to throw in the towel for this quarter. Some personal issues have developed over the past two days that require my attention more than anything else, even our beloved writing, so I am sidelining everything (except my commitment to Triangulation) until I can resolve those personal issues.

I'm sorry once again. Good luck to everyone this quarter.

Thanks,
Amr

Sorry to hear about that Osiris. I hope you can work things out satisfactorily.

And hopefully you can still get your own story done. You still have over a month and a half. If you get it finished before the deadline go ahead and send it to me and I'll do my best to crit it for you. No return crit required.

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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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quote:
Originally posted by Brendan:
It's an interesting question KDW/mbwood, blurred a little by "Where art thou?" question to Adam and Eve by G-d just after the fall. Given that Shakespeare was alive during the writing on the King James translation, which was influential? Shakespeare's play on the translation or the translation on Shakespeare's play? Or was it just a coincidence? (For those that use Occam's razor to jump to the conclusion that it was coincidence, there is an urban legend that, on his 46th birthday, Shakespeare helped word the 46th Psalm. As a test of this theory, count 46 words from the beginning of that Psalm, and 46 words from the end, and post up here what you find.)

Brendan, if you'd like to start a separate topic for this, we can certainly discuss it there.
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Osiris
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@Dr. Bob Oh I'm sure we'll find a way, I'd love to have you read something of mine too.

@RyanB thanks very much. Let's see how things pan out.

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LDWriter2
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I believe I have received one story from group two.

An interesting one that is a different--not that that is bad David seems to like variety and different--which is all I will say about it.

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A Yeatts
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LD, if you're feeling like you're experiencing an LSD trip, it's okay! I know my little story is a bit... well... trippy dippy. LOL Experimental is putting it mildly as Group 1 can attest to.

Thanks for cracking away at it. ;-P

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mbwood
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Well, I confess my ignorance of Elizabethan English, one of my many shortcomings...

Okay, another try: Osiris - you've thrown in the towel on this quarter - okay.

Jedediah - I critted your piece, but haven't received your crit of my piece. I sure would like to get one more than the unusual one I've already received.

If not, I'll trudge on to the second group.

Remember the first rule of writing... Write!
mbwood

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A Yeatts
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mbwood
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ldwriter2:

Hello, Louis, I got a message that your e-mail box has been suspended after I sent / e-mailed my submission to you.

mbwood

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History
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With Osiris out, I Believe I've provided crits to everyone except (just completed yours, mb) Jed and had crits in return from everyone except Jed.
I surmise Jed is occupied, so this should complete this Q3 Group for me.

My thanks to everyone. Good luck.

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob (Q1 non-winner, but still trying) [Smile]

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LDWriter2
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Out of the group two I believe I have received one crit and one story--evidently another story will be forthcoming soon. If mb got my E-mail.

Now this crit is full of nitpicks. Yikes, this story is right up there with my usual number of nitpicks after all---they like to hide from me. Even though there seems to be more missing words than usual. Some, however were missing on purpose. I've noticed that a few pros use less and-s and then-s. Perhaps to save on words or to make the action more tense.

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mbwood
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Hello, Louis;

Yes, now I have your e-mail address & I found your story. I'll get to it soon and have it back to you before the end of the week. I still haven't received a story from UtahUte72...

mbwood

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LDWriter2
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Now I have two stories.
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LDWriter2
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While so far I have a cleaner-as in nitpicks-story, therefore better. I also did some changes on my own, cutting out more.

We shall see what the next one to crit it thinks of it. I probably put in a few new nitpicks and I'll see if he thinks it's good. Or if I left anything in from before the changes. As well as what improvements he finds.

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LDWriter2
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I received two stories and sent back two crits.

But in case I missed one sent to me please say something if you haven't received a crit back. Osiris is out evidently but there should still be one more arriving some time.

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