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I just called my husband to ask him a question. He answered, a kind of flat, business hello. Then he heard my voice, and his tone immediately changed. It was a delight to him to hear my voice!
This is not unusual.
Still, every once in a while it is noticed and the whole miracle of living sings in my mind.
Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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I love it that I can challenge my husband to check his assumptions, scream at him in frustration, shake and cry when I'm vulnerable, and still wake up next to him in the morning. It's good to have someone who believes in you and tolerates you even when you are not at your best. And still wants to make love to you when you're done throwing a hissy fit.
I like to hold hands with my hubby.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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My wife's birthday was yesterday. I took her and the youngest out to dinner. Afterwards he and she went to the library while I went home. When she got back there was a treasure hunt through the house for her presents. There were a total of 5 and she had a great time.
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My favorite thing about being married is that I get to see my hubby act silly in ways that no one else in the world has ever seen, and no one ever will see, besides me. Things that are so funny and it's actually kind of bumming me out that I can't list them right here. Everytime he does something like that, it makes me say, "It's so frustrating that I'll never be able to tell anyone you did that!"
It's considerably easier when you're married to the most wonderful woman in the world, though; I don't know how those other saps manage. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Oh come on and stop acting like a couple of newlyweds. Still holding hands, making kissing noises at each other when in the same room, kissing each other before one of you leaves the house.
For this year's Valentine's Day we agreed not to spend much, we've got car repair bills coming up. She bought me the "Queer Eye" book and some candy. I got her the soundtrack to the movie "Chocolat" (everyone should get chocolat for Valentine's Day), and then I cheated.
To understand this you have to know that my wife gets breakfast at Chik-Fil-A several times a week, including Saturday morning when we buy for the family. Our schedules are too varied for a family meal, and we make up for it with a big home-cooked one on Sundays. But anyway... Everyone there knows us, so it was a good spot for my plan. On the way home a few nights before V-Day I stopped and bought supplies and stashed them in my trunk. Then on Saturday I got her up early so we could eat there together and then bring back food for the kids, who were still asleep.
She headed for the line and I went back to the car, supposedly to get her present. I managed to sneak back in with my picnic basket without being seen and I set up as follows: white tablecloth, wine glasses, white china, cloth napkins, silverware, flowers, box of mixed chocolates, present (no candles, I didn't think management would let me set anything on fire). When she came up behind me with the food I took it fom her bemused hands and transferred it to the plates and glasses, and we dined.
Within ten minutes every employee had found an excuse to come around and see what we were doing, and most of the male customers were giving me dirty looks for setting the bar too high so early in the day. But Teres is much more of a breakfast person than a dinner person, and this was more fun anyway. Total cost: about $20 since I bought the basket and two new (cheap) wine glasses. Close to no effort, but lots of fun and it set the playful, romantic tone for the rest of the day.
We also made sure that all of the ladies working there that morning got one of the chocolates. Everyone should get something on V-Day...
I love marriage. I just hope TomD can cope with having the second-most wonderful woman in the world (sorry, Christy )
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Hey, msquared! My wife's birthday was yesterday, too!
Unfortunately, she has severe morning sickness and other early pregnancy symptoms, so we were unable to go out to dinner. I did come home early so I could fix her something to eat and get the kids their dinner, too. Then I had the kids help me wrap presents, and they each got to give her one, as did I. She couldn't handle cake, so I put a little candle in her ice cream and we sang Happy Birthday. The two-year-old kept singing it the rest of the night, even after he was put to bed.
I'm taking her shopping for sandals and maternity shirts this weekend, to top off her gifts. Then, as soon as her nausea has mostly subsided (in a couple weeks, hopefully) we will go out and celebrate right.
Posts: 1652 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Last night I bought my wife Norah Jones's CD Come Away With Me at Wal-Mart while I was picking up diapers. I called it a late anniversary present, but I really just wanted to surprise her with a little gift. I thought she'd like the music. She doesn't have nearly enough good music to listen to.
Today my wife came and got me at work, and we took the kids to the park. It's good to see her halfway through the day (and play with the kids as well). Bonus kisses.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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afr, I agree! Lunches with Tom always really cheer me up. You're so much more at your best during the middle of the day than when you come home from work. Its refreshing. Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Last night in bed, I turned to my husband and said "You really do know me, don't you?" He said, "After 13 years or so, I should"
The reason this came up is that I had been feeling bad, congestion, headache, etc. I couldn't sleep, so I was reading.
He wanted me to turn out the light and go to sleep, but didn't want to ask me to do that, so he proceeded to give me a back rub and snuggle with me until I was so relaxed, I stopped noticing the headache, so I turned off the light and just lay there in his arms, talking until we both fell asleep.
Our first few nights together, we pretty much stayed up all night talking, about how thrilled we were to be together, about everything. Thirteen years later, I still love just lying there with him and talking to him.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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My parents were visiting recently and jsut left on Tuesday. My DH was helping me make dinner (and graciously tolerating my perfectionism and micro-management) and joking with me.
My mom watched us and told me afterwards, perplexed, that she hadn't understood a single word of what we'd said to each other.
I guess in the past five years we've developed an increasingly impentrable shorthand of in-jokes and idiosyncratic vocabulary. We're like each other's childhood invisible friend, our brains are so melded sometimes.
Also: last month Ross was searching under the bed for his combat boots that he'd kicked under there the night before. Much to his dismay, the Shoe Fairy had stolen them and mischeviously placed them in his closet!
He found me in the living room and said with a note of awe, "Do you clean like that all the time?"
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"Wow, you Hatrackers sure seem to be romantic, maybe I should marry one of you."
Sounds like a good idea to me, too.
Paul and I aren't married yet but still... Isn't it great how it's just the little things that seem the greatest?
The other night, for example, I was really groggy and fell asleep on the couch while Paul and I were cuddling and watching a movie. We'd kind of made a mess earlier with all the snacks we'd been sneaking up to the TV-area and Paul just got up and took all the plates and glasses downstairs and washed them up a bit. Then he scooped me up, carried me to my room, tucked me under the covers, gave me a quick kiss, and tip-toed out. It may not seem like much but I definitely fell asleep smiling.
Also, random text-messages when I get out of school are the greatest. Posts: 1548 | Registered: Aug 2002
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This thread has me firmly convinced that if there's someone in the world who'd enjoy being married to me, we're going to meet through Hatrack. Posts: 1595 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Sachiko - I love multi-level married language!
We were at a bookstore with a mutual (single) friend. At one point all three of us were on the same aisle, me and Teres at opposite ends, our friend in the middle. Teres pulled out a book on Celtic clip art and motioned with it to get my attention. I smiled and said "Alynia?" She smiled back and replaced the book.
Our friend stared at both of us and said, "What the heck was that?"
It took me a minute to understand there was a problem, but finally I laughed. "Let's see. Teres was asking if I thought that would be a book Alynia would be interested in because she likes Celtic knotwork. I agreed she would but that we shouldn't just buy it, we'd just tell her about it and see if she wanted to get it. She agreed with me. Wasn't that what you heard?"
We tried to assure her it was a freakish alien telepathic thing. She stayed depressed. You just can't communicate with some people...
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Freakish mindmelded marriage shorthand language is the best.
All I have to do is say, "Poland," "Go away ... bee," "On my planet," or just wave my hand in the air (in one of two different patterns, one of which is accompanied by a lift of the eyebrows) to get my husband roaring.
quote:Freakish mindmelded marriage shorthand language is the best.
That nearly made me pee my pants and everything in this thread is so true. I do not spend nearly enough time with my wife since we both work full time and I have been working 6 days a week for months.
But through it all, yes she believes in me and I believe in her. However, recent events have brought out the worst in us. Sad and frightening it is too see how intimate closeness can lull us into being mean and cruel to each other. I sometimes fear that our mutual ability to get so frustrated with each other will end in irreparable damage, but I pray that it does not.
In other words, marriage has brought out the best and worst of me, but I believe love conquers all!
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So my question is...how do you learn how to SHARE?
As in...space in the house. time to yourself. bed space (I can't sleep when I'm hot and another person too close creates body heat o_O)...stuff like that.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Don't worry Anna, being married is still Good, and I cannot imagine being without my wife for even one day. However, in a nutshell, I am the eternal optimist and she is the eternal pessimist. Somewhere, as mack eluded to, we have to learn to share and coexist. I have this bad habit of throwing a fit and standing my ground when my wife is behaving badly. I suppose I could let her walk all over me, but I have a hard time doing so. Maybe it is pride, but in her defense, I too am far from perfect. We both have the extraordinary abilities to make each other miserable and point out each others' faults.
I often encourage us to hit our internal "reset buttons" to sort of brush the current topic under the table...
We will be fine, I think!
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Mack, my hubby and I have considered separate beds for the reasons you listed! It wouldn't make any difference, really, except that we'd probably sleep better.
The sharing bit comes because it's so much nicer to share and squabble than to always have everything to yourself. You have somebody to tell your day to, and somebody to hold you when you need a good cry. You also have somebody to help you get tired so that you'll sleep regardless of temperature! Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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