posted
My wife and I still occasionally look at the other and tap him/her on the shoulder and whisper "pssst....we're married!"; I don't know why we find it so funny, but we do.
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This thread is ridiculously awesome. I hear so many stories all the time about how miserable people are after they're married, but you people give me hope for the world. Posts: 1595 | Registered: Feb 2003
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I made a stupid remark to a friend of mine once when he challenged me about why I hadn't settled down yet. I said "I haven't seen to many marriages that make me want to dive in." It was a bald lie. No, it was a semi-fuzzy lie. Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I also love being married, mostly. Sometimes I wish that I were single, and child-free, so I could just pick up and go somewhere without having to make arrangements. But the moment passes and I hug somebody in the house to remind myself of how lucky I am.
Chuck (DH) is my rock. He knows all of the things that I don't know (car stuff, hooking up the television, stuff like that), and I help him spell in his important memos (Army forms don't seem to come with spellcheck, oddly). He is as stable (emotionally) as I am moody, so we balance each other. We are partners, not just lovers, and I like that best of all.
I can't stand sleeping right next to him, because of the sharing oxygen thing. He thinks I'm crazy, so I'm glad to see it validated in this thread. *grin*
I don't understand him a lot of the time, because he is a very quiet man. That makes it hard for me, because I am not shy about sharing my feelings. I am learning how to gauge him, though.
We were apart for over 6 months once, when he was stationed in Kosrae. It was hard, but the hardest part was when he came home, and I had to readjust my schedule/cooking habits/etc to having him back in the house. Plus, sharing the bed all over again was weird. Not bad, just weird. And how to act around him was an awkward thing. I wanted him to know that I was happy that he was home, but I also didn't want to overwhelm him. I also didn't want him to think I was going to cater to his every need just because he was back. Chuck has a bad habit of becoming a chauvinist if he's not reminded that it's a Brave New Millenium. *sigh* He's not a bad man, just a man who was brought up learning 'traditional' male/female roles.
Our wedding was simple, mostly because I'm not very girly about those sorts of things, and also because Chuck's mom had passed away just a month before. We got married in his mom's church, decorated (by the wedding party) with daisies and ivy. I had a beautiful princessy dress (okay, I'm a LITTLE girly ) I bought at an outlet, that Chuck's mom had helped me pick out. My Dad sprang for a reception at the local country club that included catering and everything for a very reasonable price. We didn't have a honeymoon, and never missed having one. We went home after the Big Party and fell asleep. It was exhausting, but not nerve-wracking in any way. Of course, I am lucky to have very civil relatives (on Chuck's side as well) who just enjoyed Our Day with us.
AJ, I understand about not wanting/needing to get married, and I support your choice. Sometimes I joke that the only reason Chuck and I got married was for the Big Party. *smile* Marriage, of course, made our lives easier when it came to the military, but it's not for everyone.
I also love this thread. I love to read other people's happy stories of their weddings and marriages.
Just to make it justifiably ornery: My marriage is better than yours! j/k
Posts: 1545 | Registered: May 2002
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posted
I love this thread. I love hearing these stories.
See, when I fall in love, I just stay in love. I have to work hard at it for years to quit loving someone who has left or decided they don't love me or something. So I can totally imagine falling in love and just continuing to get deeper and deeper in love as the years go by. I think that would be so cool! I sort of boggle at how anyone could be married and be unhappy. I guess I can see it. I mean I certainly understand when people tell me about the things that make them unhappy. But I just know I will be in complete bliss for the rest of my life if I ever get married. <laughs> Maybe that's crazy and naive, but I bet I am, you watch.
So I'm glad that it sounds like I'm not the only one.
Posts: 5509 | Registered: May 1999
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quote: I have never seen participants pretending to be happy, if they aren't happy for such an union I am pretty sure they would voice their reasons or they won't participate
You'd think, huh?
There are stories of all kinds concerning weddings, and that includes temple sealings. I know a few that do exactly - there's a lot of pressure to get married, and there's the canard that any two people can be happy. Any percentages would be pure guessing on both our parts, but there are sometimes very bad reasons to do a very good thing. That includes getting married.
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Verbatim I posted my original post Precisely because of your "declaration on the familiy" You still don't seem to realize that there are lots of non-LDS folks here, and that we don't think exactly like you do.
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I did not disagree with the people who posted that said they were happy. I'm glad they are happy. My original post said that I was just as happy as they were, while in my unmarried state and since in my relationship I appear to be just as happy and have all the perks that they are describing in this thread, it gives me even less of a reason to get married.
AJ
(and the sidtrack into my familial details which are exceedingly messy goes decently far back in hatrack history.)
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Edit: this was valid about 8 minutes ago: fast moving thread.
At this point, I'd like to ressurect my Kat-respect / mild (very mild ) worship thing.
Kat, for every post I see of yours that I think *ugh,I don't agree with that at all* I see about ten more of your posts that make me think, and often change my viewpoint.
Not only do ten bucks say Verbatim isn't a Mormon writer, but five bucks says he's an unmarried man and ANOTHER five bucks says he's OSC-fan. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Ooh! There's a blacklist?? Cool. I wanna see.
Post it. No fair to keep secrets!
Anyway, even though I prefer being married to having a non-legalized (but still valid, IMO) union, I have to object to Verbatim's tone. I understand that you think you are coming from a religious standpoint (or you are trying to make the appearance of coming from a religious standpoint, or something, I'm not making much sense here), but I inferred from your post that all non-married sex results in STDs. Is it so unlikely that premarital sex can be a faithful union? Plenty of married partners get STDs from extramarital sex, and plenty of non-married partners are completely faithful.
You are being mean for no reason, and I object.
Posts: 1545 | Registered: May 2002
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This has actually made me rethink my prejudices. I believed much too easily that Verbatim was a Mormon girl who got married right out of high school and is just sure that all non-members are two seconds from killing themselves out of despair.
Tom: Yeah, looks like OSC-fan. Maybe OSC-fan can be the new Ced.
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Whereas, oddly, I've never met a Mormon that stupid and never believed for a second that Verbatim was one. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Ok Ok, I'm going to hate myself for saying this, but I think it's time to leave verbatim alone and get back to the original point of this thread.
People were enjoying it, after all.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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AJ, me too. Except my time frame is almost 7 years.
Looking back, I wouldn't encourage teenagers to take the same steps as I did at the same age. But I think my approach was healthy. One relationship lasted 3 years and was fantastic for that point in my life.
The other (and my latest) has lasted almost 3 1/2 years, and I feel quite confident in saying that this relationship is it. Check on us in 40 years time, and we'll still be together.
I understand pre-marital sex isn't for everyone. But in my case, I have no problems with it.
posted
Speaking of marriage, does anyone have any ideas on how to do any sort of long distance wedding shower? I am the maid of honor and can only make it to the wedding location three days before the wedding, which puts a distinct glitch in things.
(edited to add that AJ rocks extra for saving the thread on her hard-drive. You are a smart cookie!)
As far as long-distance wedding showers go, I'll have to think up some ideas for you. I have participated in many on-line baby showers, but they were all for on-line communities, and not IRL people. Are the wedding shower participants on-line sorts of people? You could do a 'virtual shower'...webcams and such...
That's all I have. Sigh. Sorry.
And also: Yay! This thread is fun!
PPS: beatnix, I'm sorry life sucks right now It will get better, I promise.
edited to add: Verbatim that's just silly. You are a silly person. If you were sincere, you would stop pussy-footing around and just post the darned email/IM/whatever instead of being all cryptic and such. Besides, we have a LOT of newcomers on this board recently, and most of the genuine ones have been welcomed and 'you rock'd.
posted
I don't want to derail the thread, but did you get this warning in an email or in chat or what?
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
AJ - Do you have to organise the wedding shower, or is it just sending a gift?
I guess a gift you can do easily... various online services will deliver great presents amd gift hampers (I got two from my Mum for my 21st )
But given you are the maid of honour... Hmm. Can you delegate? Can you have a very late wedding shower? Combine it with a hen's night - have a nice afternoon, pamper youselves, then go out for cocktails somewhere glamourous - it could be fun.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I am a little confused. Why would someone fake, "the best Mormon in the world?" if they weren't LDS? On the other hand, I do agree with Tom that there are not too many LDS members of the "ultra-orthodox" that would even go as far as Verbatim does in projecting a "us" better than "them" stereotype. Those that do would not even BE here.
Its making my head spin.
As for marriage. It has its good days, it has its bad days; just like any other human interaction.
Posts: 2207 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I need to make a point of saying something about the "three" that were mentioned.
They have offended me too, but only because they are the ones least likely to tolerate or enforce stupidity. I have also offended them. Get to know them and you'll realize they are all pretty decent human beings.
If you STAY on their bad sides, I would re-evaluate the style of your posting. (Not necessarily your opinions.)
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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) I bought at an outlet, that Chuck's mom had helped me pick out. My Dad sprang for a reception at the local country club that included catering and everything for a very reasonable price. We didn't have a honeymoon, and never missed having one. We went home after the Big Party and fell asleep. It was exhausting, but not nerve-wracking in any way. Of course, I am lucky to have very civil relatives (on Chuck's side as well) who just enjoyed Our Day with us.![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
j/k
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You'd think, huh?![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
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) worship thing.![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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Tom and kat I'll join you in Hell ![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
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