posted
My hubby pats my head before he falls asleep and says, "I'm so glad you're my wife." And he makes me coffee every morning even though I don't wake up to drink it, and it's cold by the time I do. That's how much he loves me.
And I drink it. That's how much I love HIM.
AJ- I've never offended you? Haven't I, in almost any thread about pre-marital sex? Maybe my posts aren't well-written enough to offend anyone.
And if you offended me it's really only because you called me on something stupid I said. I HATE that.
posted
Seriously, Verbatim, as amusing as all this is, this is a perfectly good thread -- so would you mind moving over to another thread to lie about yourself?
Otherwise, I'm just going to have to keep begging people to ignore you.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
To disagree, even profoundly, does not create offense, at least in my mind. I take very little personally in an argument like that. To me even the use the word argument does not necessarily connotate offense. It means a hashing out of ideas, and seeing where everyone stands.
A lot of this has to do with the way I was raised, where argument/discussion was the normal form of comunication and if you took it personally you would have spent all day every day bawling.
posted
This someone sounds very bitter. You'd do well to consider whether this person's opinions are a fair representation of how it really is here.
I think most of the troll-burnings are fairly legit. Generally newcomers are warmly welcomed, but every once in a while we get someone who just can't tone down their behavior enough to fit in. Hatrack is an open community in the sense that a broad range of viewpoints and opinions can coexist (fairly) peacefully, but a very closed community when it comes to allowing "trollish" behavior. Some opinions, especially when voiced bluntly or belligerently, are not tolerated for very long.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
I think we need to bring hatrack polygamy back... I wanna marry Jexx!
I'm wondering if we could just do an online shower. I mean if she gets registered online for places it would work. Heck I don't even know if she's thought ahead to wedding presents yet. (Hmmm wedding presents are a good reason to get married... )
I was thinking instead of a bachelorette "party" because I don't think she wants anything raucous, we would take her on a semi-quiet shopping trip to Victoria's Secret.
posted
I remember my wedding. It was small, very small because we didn't have much money. It wasn't everything I wanted, but then that was okay because I didn't dream of what my wedding would be like.
One of my dear memories was when we shared the cake. Before I go on, you must know that my husband is particularly clever in his teasing and tickling ways, and in this I must bow to his superiority. I am not safe in the kitchen.
I did not know the full extent of his powers of joking at the time, but I did know that I had an advantage. You see, he did not know the time honored tradition of shoving the cake in the face. I let him be the gentleman and sweetly give me a piece of cake, biding my time, cackling my evil giggle that he didn't yet understand. And then I acted, smearing the cake all over his face.
Ahhhh, the expression on his face. I had caught him. Rare indeed was my enjoyment though. In all the thirteen years of our marriage, I don't think I've topped that one yet.
He is clever and adept.
One of the things I love is the way he strokes my hand when we sit next to each other in church.
Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:(and I have yet to see a wedding where the participants aren't stressed out and miserable while pretending to be happy)
Then I hope someday I can show you the video of ours. Our wedding was not a tiny affair either. But it was with all the people in the world who were closest to us, in the place we both love most, all to celebrate us and our happiness together. That night is by far the best of my life. And not merely symbolically--it was the most fun I have ever had.
Posts: 1112 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
AJ, I accept. I love dogs, I love books; you love dogs, you love books. This could work. We'll have to figure out how to break it to Those Men We Live With.
*grin*
I am thinking that I read somewhere about a 'nonbridal shower' to celebrate the committed union of two people, and there were hors d'oevres and presents. I wonder where I read that. Anyway, seems like a good excuse for a party and presents, so you should give it some thought I'll help you word the invitations, if you like.
As far as your friend goes, if this can be a more informal, quiet thing, you can do it a couple of days before the wedding (as opposed to a couple of weeks, when you will not be in the area), as long as you can do the planning long-distance or on-line. I have always liked the idea of a tea party (like on Friends, but without Danny DeVito for a stripper, hehe) at a quiet restaurant. Sort of formal, though. I always picture Mrs. M at one of those with the lovely white gloves and afternoon hat. Tea gowns, of course. Alternatively, a shopping expedition at Victoria's Secret (or Crate-and-Barrel, or Pier One for that matter, if they are setting up house for the first time) with a nice lunch in there somewhere is a fine idea.
posted
AJ, I was in a wedding years ago where the maid of honor lived in Baltimore. She set up the shower as best she could, but relied on others in the wedding party to help her out with the details that could only be handled by someone local.
Actually, I ended up doing most of her legwork because she was cute and single. And yes, we did hook up at the wedding. And yes, we did start a long distance relationship. And yes, it did turn into a nightmare because she turned out to be not a very nice person. Never, ever, ever volunteer to care for a girl you barely know after they've had a boob job.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I just fired off an e-mail asking if they were registered anywhere. I mean they both have most of the basic household stuff covered, so I don't know what they'd actually need.
hmmm maybe if I got married I could wangle a Kitchen Aid mixer out of somebody...
quote: I did not know the full extent of his powers of joking at the time, but I did know that I had an advantage. You see, he did not know the time honored tradition of shoving the cake in the face. I let him be the gentleman and sweetly give me a piece of cake, biding my time, cackling my evil giggle that he didn't yet understand. And then I acted, smearing the cake all over his face.
Ahhhh, the expression on his face. I had caught him. Rare indeed was my enjoyment though. In all the thirteen years of our marriage, I don't think I've topped that one yet.
Amka, me too! Tom and I had "agreed" not to shove cake at each other. So, he fed me very politely and I returned the favor, but at the end dipped my finger in some frosting and slathered it on his nose. The look of shock on his face is one I'll always remember.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
As far as the wedding party goes.. NO ONE execept the bride and groom live nearby as far as I know. Maybe some of the groomsmen do, but none of the bridesmaids who would be in charge of the girly stuff are.
posted
Anna, all you really need to plan a wedding shower is a cake, some punch, some games and a place to hold the shower. I'm pretty sure you can arrange all that long-distance. Use the yellow pages to find a place and perhaps a caterer or bakery.
I love the idea of a Victoria's Secret trip. Otherwise, a themed shower -- i.e. bath/relaxation products, unique kitchen tools, lengerie -- is fun.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
You could plan a couples shower. I've been forced to, I mean, been lucky enough to attend several. I see know reason why men all over the country shouldn't have to suffer, I mean enjoy them as well.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
BTW, AJ, you weren't serious about an "online shower," were you? That'd be worse than not having one at all.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
I think it's vitally important that people actually be PRESENT at a shower, and that there be a decent mix of planned activities/icebreakers and general chatting (I include shopping in "general chatting," by the way, unless specific shopping-related games or embarassing escapades are planned, like requiring her to have herself "sized" by a clerk.)
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
See I personally LOATHE icebreakers and all of those stupid cutesy games. I'm going to have to have a serious talk with her and see what she wants or expects.
Sometimes she's a little more into stupid cutesy than I am but most of the time we generally agree on that sort of thing.
I think I should just pack you into a suitcase and take you along Tom (well if Christy wouldn't mind) you are by your mere presence, a quintessential icebreaker!
posted
Storm, I know. At a couples baby shower, I had to play some stupid game where the men have to drink beer out of a baby bottle. I just stood there and waited for the contest to be over because there was a cooler full of beer in much-easier-to-drink-out-of adult bottles right there.
BTW, sometimes shopping with your wife for drapes is the only way to make sure your credit card stays under the limit.
edit: You can't delete that and make me look stupid Storm.
quote: See I personally LOATHE icebreakers and all of those stupid cutesy games.
I hate these too, regardless of the intent or occasion. The only thing they do is give people something in common...they are all equally annoyed or embarrassed.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
The valuable thing, however, especially in a group where not everyone knows each other, is that they all ARE given a chance to bond over the same humiliation.
No party should rely entirely on the willingness of strangers to sit around and talk to each other. *grin*
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Banna, they suck, but you have a group of strangers getting together.
AND....
You can have everyone write down their first, first kiss, or their last first kiss story, read them out loud and guess which belongs to whom. I did that at a shower last Saturday, and it was really fun. You can also do Bride and Groom trivia.
They are still games, but they are not unbearable no is required to use a baby voice. Yay!
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I once played an icebreaker game with a group of women who were all at least 15 years older than me. The game was to write one fact about yourself on a slip of paper, and everyone had to guess who it refered to.
Doesn't sound too bad, except that every time something silly or rebellious was read out loud, everyone assumed it was me.
"I have a giant tattoo." "MAUREEN!" "No, it wasn't me," I'd say.
"I once got married, then divorced 48 hours later." "Maureen!" "NO, I didn't DO that," I'd say.
My fact? I scored 1550 on the SAT's. Pretty boring. Why would everyone assume I was the freak?
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Well I don't agree with Tom and kat *grin* but I see your point about strangers getting together. If worse comes to worse I'm going to contact her mother and see if she has ideas on what exactly we should do. But that is a last resort.
posted
Kat, I just can't picture swapping stories about a first kiss as something most men would get into. Call me crazy.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
lol, you don't understand, the free honeymoon at her shore house doesn't cost her anything...
Sorry I stopped posting. I went home from work just after lunch because I had the sinus headache from hell. I took a nap til 6:30pm and now feel much better.
posted
Oh, I understand that, AJ. Tell 'er you can be bribed -- but she's gonna have ta really make it worth your while! Put her money where her mouth is, as it were. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Just got a message from my friend. She says they already have enough household stuff. What they would like to do is have people donate to a charity in their honor.
posted
AJ, I think that's great. Some people I know have chosen to make a less-lavish wedding and donate money to a charity like this one.
Perhaps the invitations might say something like, "In lieu of gifts, [insert bride's and groom's names here] request that you make donations to [insert charity name and contact info here]."
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Anne Kate and I have been duking this out on IM. She says Mrs. M will agree with her that it is rude, and I'm pretty sure she's right.
She says it is because you are implying they *should* give something any time you put a note like that in. I've been looking at wedding etiquette sites and they basically agree with her. They say that guests should find out even where the bride is registered from the wedding party or the family.
However all of my friends who have gotten recently married, have put a little buisness cardlike thing in with the invitation saying at least where they were registered. One of Steve's cousins, put in lieu of gifts please donate to defray honeymoon expenses and nobody blinked an eye, especially because they were poor college students (as is my best friend... she's a starving graduate student, he's working as a lowincome post-doc.)
Also the bit about contacting the family or the bridal party totally doesn't work given the geographic spread of the guests invited. I'm of the opinion that putting it in the invitation, on a separate card is extremely practical.
This sort of etiqutte thing is one of those "polite fiction" deals that totally pisses me off about weddings.
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At a couples baby shower, I had to play some stupid game where the men have to drink beer out of a baby bottle. I just stood there and waited for the contest to be over because there was a cooler full of beer in much-easier-to-drink-out-of adult bottles right there.![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
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