FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The DM says: "OK, now you're a satanist." (Page 2)

  This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4   
Author Topic: The DM says: "OK, now you're a satanist."
Annie
Member
Member # 295

 - posted      Profile for Annie   Email Annie         Edit/Delete Post 
Jack was the kind of guy who put the "mental" in fundamental.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Geoffrey Card
Member
Member # 1062

 - posted      Profile for Geoffrey Card   Email Geoffrey Card         Edit/Delete Post 
Why doesn't Jack Chick notice that his tracts clearly idolize Communist dictatorships and the Nazis? I mean, we've got Chinese propaganda and book-burnings. What's next, goose-stepping Christian missionaries saluting Jesus under a swastika?
Posts: 2048 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Slash the Berzerker
Member
Member # 556

 - posted      Profile for Slash the Berzerker   Email Slash the Berzerker         Edit/Delete Post 
Ummmm..

If the DM says "Now you're a satanist" do you get a saving throw?

Posts: 5383 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051

 - posted      Profile for Maccabeus   Email Maccabeus         Edit/Delete Post 
Believe it or not, I've seen one tract even more disgusting than anything I've encountered in Chick's stuff. Years ago, the churches of Christ produced a series called "Teens Talk". Most of them were innocuous, but there was one called "Wild Oats and Harvest" that told about the Day of Judgement from the perspective of a girl in hell. Truly despicable description of the experience. I was embarrassed for us.
Posts: 1041 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

 - posted      Profile for sarcasticmuppet   Email sarcasticmuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
I wonder if he really believes his work wholeheartedly. Almost makes me feel sorry for him. That Chick guy makes loving my neighbor a hard thing to do.
Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TomDavidson
Member
Member # 124

 - posted      Profile for TomDavidson   Email TomDavidson         Edit/Delete Post 
I like this one: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0079/0079_01.asp

It's basically Chick's response to Christians who are horrified by what he believes is perfectly justifiable stridency. [Smile]

Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Caleb Varns
Member
Member # 946

 - posted      Profile for Caleb Varns   Email Caleb Varns         Edit/Delete Post 
*lol* @ "creepy historic parallels"
Posts: 1307 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TomDavidson
Member
Member # 124

 - posted      Profile for TomDavidson   Email TomDavidson         Edit/Delete Post 
You know, we really should have a Jack Chick parody contest on here, some time.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bokonon
Member
Member # 480

 - posted      Profile for Bokonon           Edit/Delete Post 
x-entertainment.com used to do some great MST3K-style parodies... Until Chick, Inc. told them to cease and desist.

-Bok

Posts: 7021 | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
Jack Chick may qualify for the "Are you crazy" thread. He doesn't realize he's a wacko.

Persecution complex, a wee bit? Oy.

I'm in favor of a parody contest. . . and once I'm home from work, I fully intend to give it a chuck.

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheTick
Member
Member # 2883

 - posted      Profile for TheTick   Email TheTick         Edit/Delete Post 
Didn't Chick have a tract where Jesus fought another God back in the 70s? Now that was funny!
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
I just love the page full of rave reviews. [Roll Eyes]

Particularly this one:
quote:
Many people hate Chick tracts...until they get saved.

You used to turn my stomach, now I support you whole-heartedly. From bondage to freedom (Catholicism to Christ) is what I praise the Lord for.
North Carolina



Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Annie
Member
Member # 295

 - posted      Profile for Annie   Email Annie         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Your tracts planted the seed that led me to Christ. I was saved after seeing tons of tracts laying all over Wal-Mart while working, shopping, etc.
Like I needed another reason not to frequent WalMart...
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AndrewR
Member
Member # 619

 - posted      Profile for AndrewR   Email AndrewR         Edit/Delete Post 
That rave review page is great! I wasn't sure if it was a parody or not.

For instance:

quote:
Children are starting to be saved in Sunday School!
I am shocked--shocked I say!--to hear that children actually are being saved in Sunday School. [Roll Eyes]
Posts: 2473 | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacare Sorridente
Member
Member # 1906

 - posted      Profile for Jacare Sorridente   Email Jacare Sorridente         Edit/Delete Post 
I have learned some important things from Jack Chick!

The reason Frances was in hell was obviously because of her terrible couplet rhyming. I have seen the light! I will never write cheesy couplets about hell again!

Posts: 4548 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacare Sorridente
Member
Member # 1906

 - posted      Profile for Jacare Sorridente   Email Jacare Sorridente         Edit/Delete Post 
I loved the part about the evils of Harry Potter:
quote:
The very spirit of the book is teaching young children to be in rebellion of the rules, be in rebellion of authority, that they can have these powers themselves, that they don't have to be fearful, particularly at a time when many are coming from dysfunctional families, broken homes, the tragedy of September 11 and the chaos in the world. Children are being conditioned that they can look for power within themselves and start bringing some control into the things round about them by tapping into their own powers just like Harry does.
Heaven help our children if they ever learn that even if they are from dysfunctional homes they don't have to be afraid!

And the most wicked leasson of all- that children can tap into their own power and change things around them...<shudder> perish the thought!

Posts: 4548 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Human
Member
Member # 2985

 - posted      Profile for Human   Email Human         Edit/Delete Post 
Of course it scares him...the last thing he wants is children looking around, and thinking about what is taught to them about religion and life. Because, at least when you believe what he does...think about it rationally, and it falls to pieces.
Posts: 3658 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Morbo
Member
Member # 5309

 - posted      Profile for Morbo   Email Morbo         Edit/Delete Post 
Slash, that was a priceless reply to the thread topic.

I've seen Christian comic tracts around since I was a kid. I wonder how many have been Chick's creations?
What a fanatic!
Death to all fanatics!!
Hmmm, that sounds a little fanatical... [Big Grin]

[ July 28, 2003, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]

Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

 - posted      Profile for Dan_raven   Email Dan_raven         Edit/Delete Post 
If you go to hell if you never convert anyone, Jack is on his way there.

On the other hand, if you go there for bieng a conciented, pompous, self-centered, delusional reactionary. He is also headed there.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Silverblue Sun
Member
Member # 1630

 - posted      Profile for The Silverblue Sun   Email The Silverblue Sun         Edit/Delete Post 
Beware the Rock and the Roll!
Posts: 2752 | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Belle
Member
Member # 2314

 - posted      Profile for Belle   Email Belle         Edit/Delete Post 
Tell me I didn't just read that tract Tom linked me to. Tell me it didn't contain the line "Ugghhh...something smells like sulfur."

Please. Tell me that isn't true.

Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
If you deny the Truth, Belle, you'll damn your soul. It did indeed say "Ugghhh. . .something smells like sulfer." Now repent that you ever doubted!

Q.

[ July 28, 2003, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: asQmh ]

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fugu13
Member
Member # 2859

 - posted      Profile for fugu13   Email fugu13         Edit/Delete Post 
What I find particularly amusing is Chick's insistence that his message is "to be saved, the one and only thing that is necessary is to accept Jesus as your savior", yet he keeps tacking on all these other conditions, like no roleplaying, no Catholicism, no good works (well, it does seem like he says this at some points [Smile] ), no rock and roll, and no bible other than the KJV (this condition I find particularly laughable).

Seems odd.

Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scott R
Member
Member # 567

 - posted      Profile for Scott R   Email Scott R         Edit/Delete Post 
Well, he certainly is not doing it for the fame. . . and I don't see how he's making money on these things. Sincere belief is the only thing that he has going for him, and that's mired down in his complete misunderstanding of the Gospel.

I wonder if there is a REAL Jack Chick or if he's just an entity a corporation uses to spread the Word of Odd. [Smile]

Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nato
Member
Member # 1448

 - posted      Profile for Nato   Email Nato         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Chick.com decided to say...Now, obviously not all of this can be laid at the door of D&D. But in the 1970's, it was one of the major cultural phenomena that planted the seeds that have sprouted into Harry Potter and all the occult books and movies.
Tom, that was awesome. I'd seen that before, but forgotten about it.. Very nice.
Posts: 1592 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
Terrifying lesser known site.

The man was once a professor at my university and says he's part of the same church I am. Oh. . .except that I'm female and therefore defective. And feminism is a cancer.

Among other things. Not for the weak of stomach.

Q.

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Belle
Member
Member # 2314

 - posted      Profile for Belle   Email Belle         Edit/Delete Post 
Q!

That is unbelievable!!

Actually, the essay I glanced over said feminism was satanic, not just a cancer.

quote:
Indeed, there is no more important duty on earth than the very demanding job of rearing righteous children. And God has given this commission to womankind.4 In fact, notice Paul said that God considers this duty so vital that their very salvation depends upon it.


Oh, so I can only be saved if I have children? *rolls eyes*

Scary stuff.

Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TomDavidson
Member
Member # 124

 - posted      Profile for TomDavidson   Email TomDavidson         Edit/Delete Post 
The best thing about Thor's link is that, in that one, Satan is so desperate to get back at an old biddy that he actually POISONS someone's drink -- personally -- at Mardi Gras. He doesn't tempt the young girl into sin; he doesn't persuade other people to harm her. He takes it on HIMSELF to slip her a mickey.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
Belle, according to the translation of the Bible that he himself did (so you KNOW it must be flawless), you are condemned if you so much as "act autonomously from a man."

So no more free-thinking for you, Missy!

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
If the DM says "Now you're a satanist" do you get a saving throw?
This, by the way, is stinkin' hilarious.

Also, Annie:
quote:
He put the 'mental' in 'fundamental.'
I LOVE it.

This is probably why I can't quit hatracking.

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scott R
Member
Member # 567

 - posted      Profile for Scott R   Email Scott R         Edit/Delete Post 
I heard a very disturbing bit on a Christian radio program that makes me think that perhaps the anti-feminism feeling in Christianity goes too far.

The speaker was teaching about the man presiding in the home. As an example, he recounted an anecdote about when he and his wife, yet unmarried went grocery shopping together. She'd place an item in the cart, he'd consider it, and then put it back on the shelf-- with this declaration:

"You don't need that."

No consultation was mentioned in the program; no mention of any health problems the woman may have been experiencing was made. He gave NO OTHER defense for his actions other than 'I know what's best for you.' And he knew best because he was a MAN.

Pssh. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katharina
Member
Member # 827

 - posted      Profile for katharina   Email katharina         Edit/Delete Post 
Was the guy saying this was good behavior?

I mean, was he championing his behavior as a model? *blinks*

Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jon Boy
Member
Member # 4284

 - posted      Profile for Jon Boy           Edit/Delete Post 
And more importantly, did she still marry the jerk?
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
Mr. StillVoices of ye olde linkage would say he was behaving admirably, I'm sure. He'd also probably call to have dkw burned at the stake.

Q.

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jon Boy
Member
Member # 4284

 - posted      Profile for Jon Boy           Edit/Delete Post 
Well, she has got a wart.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Human
Member
Member # 2985

 - posted      Profile for Human   Email Human         Edit/Delete Post 
A witch, a witch! Burn her, burn her!
Posts: 3658 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Godric
Member
Member # 4587

 - posted      Profile for Godric   Email Godric         Edit/Delete Post 
Hmmm...

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant: Well she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant: I got better.
Crowd: BURN HER ANYWAY!

[Big Grin]

Posts: 1295 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

 - posted      Profile for Dan_raven   Email Dan_raven         Edit/Delete Post 
I think the men should make all the decisions for you flighty, silly women.

Ralphie, jump in here and mop this floor.
Belle, get me a beer.
Celia, rub my shoulders.
Katharina, cook me a steak.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
My personal hero of biblical femininity is Jael, Dan.

Tent peg, anyone? ^_~

[ July 28, 2003, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: asQmh ]

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katharina
Member
Member # 827

 - posted      Profile for katharina   Email katharina         Edit/Delete Post 
You're gonna need that steak raw for when we're finished. *looks threatening*

[ July 28, 2003, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]

Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Xavier
Member
Member # 405

 - posted      Profile for Xavier   Email Xavier         Edit/Delete Post 
Wow, Thor's one is a bout the lamest thing I've ever read. Its like something a four year old would come up with.

Anyway, I'm starting to think that this guy really is a nut-job. I mean, how else could any man be so self-righteous and arrogant? To believe that God is on your side, and everyone else is Satan's minion (including Catholics, Mormons, Muslims, Hindus, and anyone who reads a slightly different bible than he does).

Posts: 5656 | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
asQmh
Member
Member # 4590

 - posted      Profile for asQmh   Email asQmh         Edit/Delete Post 
Would that be the Jack Chick nutjob? Or the Walter L. "Women are evil" Porter nutjob?

The adjectives work either way.

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

 - posted      Profile for sarcasticmuppet   Email sarcasticmuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
All I have to say is, If Chick's tracks condemn my religion and taste in books/music, then I MUST be doing something right. And that is a comforting thought. [Big Grin]
Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
T. Analog Kid
Member
Member # 381

 - posted      Profile for T. Analog Kid   Email T. Analog Kid         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
All I have to say is, If Chick's tracks condemn my religion and taste in books/music, then I MUST be doing something right. And that is a comforting thought.
A ringing endorsement of Catholicism if there ever was one... [Big Grin]
Posts: 2112 | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sweet William
Member
Member # 5212

 - posted      Profile for Sweet William           Edit/Delete Post 
Someone please explain the logic to me of "You Don't have to do any works at all to be saved." I mean, you have to read (out loud) the little prayer on the tract. Isn't that doing something? Am I then participating in my own salvation?

The "no works" crowd had zero internal logic, IMHO. [Smile]

Posts: 524 | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

 - posted      Profile for Dan_raven   Email Dan_raven         Edit/Delete Post 
Q, that wasn't the type of steak/tent stake I was looking for.

There is one weapon that works well against these over prideful pious posturers. Laugh at them. They can't stand being laughed at.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

 - posted      Profile for Dan_raven   Email Dan_raven         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
A Conservative Version (ACV) of the Bible is available on our web site.
This is scarey.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katharina
Member
Member # 827

 - posted      Profile for katharina   Email katharina         Edit/Delete Post 
My favorite is the check boxes.

Are you saved? Check yes or no.

---

It's a powerful force, though, fundamental Christianity. There's a church here in Dallas that is in the news for two reasons:

1. It just broke from the MCC - metropolitan christian something - the mother church, anyway. Well, the g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-great-granddaughter church.
--AND--
2. It is the largest (out) gay congregation in the world.

Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ryuko
Member
Member # 5125

 - posted      Profile for Ryuko   Email Ryuko         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
If the DM says "Now you're a satanist" do you get a saving throw?
Sure. But even if you succeed, if you don't zealously attempt to convert others to the "word of Christ" you're still going to hell.

quote:
Hispanic love Chick tracts
All right! Who likes Catholocism anyway?

By the by, I wholeheartedly endorse a Chick Parody Contest.

[ July 28, 2003, 05:41 PM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]

Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

 - posted      Profile for sarcasticmuppet   Email sarcasticmuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
A ringing endorsement of Catholicism if there ever was one...
Silly endorse-depraved Catholic. [Wink]

I must say though, as a rock-loving Potter-reading left-leaning Fantasy-playing latter-day saint, I'm surprised Chick's ill-drawn satanic minions aren't scratching my back as I type...

oh, a little lower, thanks. [Wink]

I'm all for the parody contest as well, but I don't know how to get a web page onto our photo program, so I don't know if I can participate.

[ July 28, 2003, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2