posted
sndrake, man, you're a sick puppy, huh? It much more along the lines of no dinner/sex/laundry type "make" him do it. He does little things for me, I do little things for him. Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I never miss, but my sister does make a lot of messes and blame them on me. And of course, because I'm the male, I am to blame.
I also second the fact that women leave their feminine products EVERYWHERE! It's gotten to the point that my dog comes in the bathroom and shreds the stuff all over the house.
GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
I do sympathize with Damander, because most guys--particulary my age--miss often, and don't make any effort to clean it either.
quote: and therefore I may site this as an example if I want to say something that would be interpreted as such.
Oh, and newb #5588, you can "site" all the examples you want all day.
posted
When I was in college I came up with the idea of the "pop-top" toilet. It's like the lid on a garbage can, when you step on a pedal the seat goes up, when you take your foot off the pedal the seat goes back down. Unfortunately, someone else had patented it before I could. It still hasn't taken off so maybe it wasn't that good of an idea.
Posts: 172 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Unless the lid had a slow pneumatic release, I could see lots of scenarios arising from simple klutziness to extreme drunkenness that could result in premature release of the lid and some unfortunate and painful injuries. Wonder if the device comes with a warning label?
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Whoa what's up with the sitting thing??! My husband stands and I've never had to clean his pee off of anything. Do most women really have to fight over this?
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Wow, the legend of the Man Who Can Aim is TRUE! PSI, you should call someone -- Guinness Book of World Records, maybe? Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Now, since I don't want to be the one who lets this fascinating topic die, I have to ask: joking aside, are there any GOOD reasons as to why it would be advantageous for men doing the number one standing? We all seem to agree that sitting down -- on a toilet that are reasonably clean in the first place, of course -- is preferable from a sanitary point of view, and as TheTick so wisely observed, why stand when you can sit? Family forum it may be, but if those advocating against gay marriage are required to show logical evidence of what harm such a change would produce in society, I think Storm Saxon and Icarus owe it to those of us they so unthinkingly mocks to explain themselves.
Posts: 896 | Registered: Feb 2001
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quote: as TheTick so wisely observed, why stand when you can sit?
Sheesh. That's easy - I'll say it. Kayla has already branded me a sick puppy so I have nothing to lose.
It's convenience. Pure and simple. Same reason so many of us men don't wash our hands. These two factors are the main reasons that men don't take as long using the bathroom as women - I seem to remember a study or studies to this effect making some news over the last year or two. (I'll also wisely stay silent on the topic of where I fit in terms of my hygiene behavior.) I'll see if I can track them down.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Tristan, if you can convince them to start reading the Brontes, too, you'll be a shoot-in for my Most Enlightened Swedish Guy award.
Posts: 1046 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sitting down peeing AND reading the Brontës... I feel this thread is going to be a fatal blow to my carefully created image of strong and silent masculinity.
*Scratches hair on chest and doing some well-judged grunting*
Now, with that out of my system, I would dispute your thesis that it is more convenient standing up peeing, sndrake. Getting tinky-winky out of your zipper can be far more troublesome (and, in the reverse procedure, more dangerous!) than simply pulling your pants down and sit. At least, that is my humble experience.
quote:While men's restrooms smell worse and contain more litter than women's restrooms, women's restrooms actually contain more fecal bacteria than men's. ***
Kennedy discovered a two-to-one ratio between the bacteria in women's and men's bathrooms, which means there are more bacteria in women's bathrooms to cause sickness. ***
She speculated that women's toilets contain more bacteria because there is a higher frequency of use.
"Women have to sit down no matter what," she said.
There you have it. When it comes to public facilities, anyway, men choose to stand out of concern for public health and welfare.
It's a good story and I think I'll stick to it. Until a better one comes along, anyway. Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Kat, they pee in the shower, too! (I found this out when I lived with 3 guys and our cat started peeing in the bathtub. I couldn't figure it out and obsessed over it forever, till they finally fessed up as to why the cat might be doing that. Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
It's bad Feng Shui to leave a toilet lid up. Water corresponds to money, and when you flush the toilet, it's like flushing all your potential riches down the toilet. Ditto for allowing a leaky faucet.
Hatrack! Don't let your money go down the drain!
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
Okay, I only have one thing to say to guys who voluntarily sit while peeing: WHAT KIND OF WUSS-ASS ARE YOU?
Kayla, thanks for the heads up. If I ever get to the proposal of marriage point in my life, I will make sure that the woman in question has no such evil designs: "Sit down, or no sex for you" Sounds like an excellent argument for polygamy. It also sounds like yet another excellent reason to get a prenup so at least you get to keep the house after you serve papers on the pee-controlling domestic goddess.
But seriously, men are major pigs. If I have any "splashback," I always clean it up. Immediately. My bathrooms at home are always spotless and ready for any single female who may happen to wander in (but the lid is always up).
I work in an office with all men. If I take a few days off, I come back to a bathroom which is unfit for human habitation.
I finally got them to start washing their hands, though. It was a beautiful day, and I stopped cringing when they shook hands with our customers!
Who are these women who keep "falling in?" I mean, are they blind, or just stupid?
Posts: 524 | Registered: May 2003
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SW, I think, in general, the main problem is in the middle of the night, when the hapless female comes in, tired and only thinking of returning to her bed, only to fall into a gaping maw.... Posts: 1843 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
My husband after using the toidy takes a small wad of tissue and wipes the rim to catch any splashage. He puts the seat down and washes his hands with soap.
He is a god of a man, and if I ever leave him please be sure to beat me resoundly with sticks.
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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quote:Water corresponds to money, and when you flush the toilet, it's like flushing all your potential riches down the toilet. Ditto for allowing a leaky faucet.
Hatrack! Don't let your money go down the drain!
So, Jenny, can we read this as an endorsement of shower-peeing? It saves on a toilet flush, after all.
Men. Socially, economically and ecologically responsible. Who would have guessed? Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote: My husband after using the toidy takes a small wad of tissue and wipes the rim to catch any splashage. He puts the seat down and washes his hands with soap.
Plus, unlike my husband, he doesn't go through half a stick of deoderant and $5 worth of Bedhead every morning.
posted
Tristan, Kayla already gave one of my reasons.
Also, the force behind our manly pee often causes a certain blow back which, not only uncomfortable, causes more urine than would be possible otherwise to hit our most sacred parts.
The other reason...well, let's just say that at certain times in a young man's life, it becomes almost impossible to pee sitting down. At these times, even the traditional stance is difficult.
Another reason is that it is more sanitary to do your thing standing up than sitting down. I hate to tell you, but there ain't no such thing as sterile in your house. Autoinfection, or even infections among a family's cutest members, happen all the time and have been the cause of many a brother's downfall.
Let us not forget that, like drinking water, there is a nobility in standing to pee that reminds men of their majestic, manly roots. Should a man bow to nature, or face her on his feet when he answers her call?
Finally, there is an evolutionary aspect to standing up to pee that we should not ignore. One that has kept many manly men alive for, low, these many generations. Consider that while you may think your bathroom is pretty safe, how do you really know? What about a stranger's bathroom? Our crafty forebears stood and thus could stand watch for enemies even while answering the call of nature. There is many an ancient village which stood secure, knowing that the guard of its men need never waver while they carefully stood against the dangers of the night. In short, the human race is only here because men stand to pee.
Let us remove our hats and bow our heads in remembrance of those sad individuals who shirked their manly duties and sat down to pee. History does not record their names, as is fit for those who turn their backs on tribe and family, yet we should remember them even now as a warning against the ever encroaching menace of squicky women and the dangers they represent!
posted
LOL SS. Haven't you ever heard of sitting down to read in the bathroom? Time honored male tradition, that. Often it's the only place where people will leave you alone. Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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Secret?? Storm, when we march into the bathroom with the Sunday NY Times, the "S" volume of the encyclopedia, or the newly arrived Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, everyone knows the bathroom will be unavailable until we notice the circulation to our legs has been cut off. Not only that, since we often need a little additional time until there is enough circulation in our manly legs to hold us up on our manly feet and stagger out of the bathroom to a more public place to read - I think the "secret" has been out on this one for a long time, unlike the one about the shower.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
*cough* Ha! Ha! Sndrake! What a kidder! Everyone knows that men only poop standing up, bullwhips coiled at their feet and rifles ready at a moment's notice to take down any threat to family or video game collection.
*significant look*
Dude,the omenway are listeningtay. ^ . . . . . (Super sekret man code.)
quote:He is a god of a man, and if I ever leave him please be sure to beat me resoundly with sticks.
Yeah, right! Like I'd remind you. I'd be too busy trying to comfort him!
I'm really kidding about my husband. I have no idea what he does bcause, frankly, do you think I watch? Ewww. However, my son seems to have some type of problem. He couldn't hit the water to save his life. I was unbelievably frustrated and sent my husband in to find out what the heck the problem was and he came out and said that it seemed to be coming out at an angle! Really! Rather than coming out and going down toward the bowl, it was literally going nearly straight to the middle of the toilet seat!! He was the one who suggested the sitting down solution. He told our son that if he sat to poop and then peed, too, so why not do it when he just peed. Then he made a big deal about he sat too, so I didn't fall in.
Personally, I think he just said it to convince my son that it really would be okay to sit down. Stand at the urinals at school, but sit down at home. Now, my son has his own bathroom and I just don't go in there. I figure by the time we move out, it will be a biohazard in there.
(But I still think they pee in the shower! My husband, when hounded for an answer said that, yeah, guys do that. This is one of the main reasons for keeping a cat. When he heard that a cat will pee in the shower if a human does. . . well, let's just say that in 14 years, we've never had a cat that peed in the shower. )
Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote: Sounds like an excellent argument for polygamy.
Actually, it sounds like an excellent argument for a male-less society. We really don't need you.
Oh, and I have a joke!
quote:To Be 6 Again!!
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn,Pepsi, and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story:
Even when the man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong.
posted
As someone who was a professional toilet cleaner (approximately 2-5 times a day, for the same toilet) for eight months, I have to say that guys miss more often. AND they forget to flush, AND they don't wash their hands.
Of course, this was a special sort of situation, wherein one lady likes to throw things in the toilet - towels, paper towels, the plunger, anything else she can get her hands on - and THEN do her business. Still, despite all this, we had to do more cleaning from the three guys who used it as well. Guys are WAY messier, in my experience.
My squicky threshold can only be compared to that of a parent with a child still in diapers.
quote: Someone mentioned that no one ever misses a urinal.
Baloney. Anyone who's ever cleaned a public bathroom knows that the walls around the urinals are stained more yellow from pee.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Washing one's hands is pointless in a public restroom if you have to use your hands to open the door. Only if the door can be kicked open is there any reason to.
Posts: 1364 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Danzig, that's why there are trash cans outside the bathroom. For the paper towels you use to open the door! Sheesh, you people would make really sucky obsessive compulsives.
posted
Let me clear up my statement, while sober I think it is rather unlikly that anyone could miss a urinal, however I will admit that it is certainly a possiblity.
Posts: 1458 | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Actually there is a simple answer to this question. However, the high council of men has forbid us from telling women the truth. Sorry. Just trust us - we do all things for good reasons. Posts: 8120 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
Actually, I heard a statistic on the radio just this week, which I wish I could confirm. I assume it came from some magazine, so maybe somebody else has seen this. It said something like 65% of women pee in the shower, while only 55% of men do . . . so in fact, women are more likely to do this!
I've heard there are operations to correct that...something like a peter rooter.
I was in the men's restroom at work the other day and one of my co-workers, who was standing at the urinal, was bragging about how he could control the flow, urinating in a split stream or even producing a fine mist. No wonder the guy's divorced!
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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