posted
No thank you, I have sugar issues. I graduated from Ball State University with an Elementary Education degree. I also have a Science Endorsement. I've worked at two long-term sub positions, one of them in Gifted and Talented. I have taught in England. Seeing as how you're desperate, and I'm really quite good, what might I expect in terms of salary?
Oh, and that tiger would be a lovely mascot.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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Julie, now "sticks and stones" remember. Just ask for your eraser back.
Have some hard candy.
Ms. Spankmistress. Would you like a position as Dean of Students? What are you doing for dinner tonight?
Posts: 66 | Registered: Sep 2003
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As My position demands I must ask that you keep spelling mistakes to a minimum. I am getting complaints from the parents
Posts: 1 | Registered: Sep 2003
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*walks in to principals office* Hello, I would like to apply for the position of school bully. As part of my job, I will go around and beat up kids for their lunch money.
Part of the profits will go towards feeding the starving children of some 3rd world nation. I may be a bully, but I'm very benevolent about it.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Apr 2003
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::Walks into the Principals' office with a yellow note in her hand. Places said note on desk::
Please send Orchid to ISR. She has burnt down the science lab, while attempting to combine metaphysical energy with gouda cheese. -Teacher
Posts: 701 | Registered: Jul 1999
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Now, Trogdor. I hear that you burninated one of our fine students in time out yesterday. If you keep this up, I'll have to inform your mother.
Posts: 66 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Don't worry Mr. Principal, I'll handle this.
*grabs Pat, drags him outside, beats him up, and takes his lunch money*
*pulls out list*
Pat...Pat...Ah there we go. You have had your beating for the year. I specifically mark off every name so no single person gets beat up twice a year.
Now you can all avoid being beat up with my monthly installment package. You won't be beat up as long as you pay a small fee every month. This will eventually equal the amount of lunch money I would have taken from you, but over the course of the year.
If you have already been beaten up by me, I am also starting a bodyguard service. See me on the playground for more details.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Apr 2003
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A beefy, red-faced man knocks self-importantly on the Principal's door, rustling sheaths of duplicate and triplicated papers.
"Mr. Principal, I am afraid there are some problems with your little school here and if they aren't cleared up, we'll have to cut back your federal funding. To be concise, there is an epidemic, a rash if you will, of violent behavior. Additionally, there is the little issue of your student's test scores. How do you plead?"
Posts: 15 | Registered: Sep 2003
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*drags government flunky outside, beats him up, and takes his lunch money. Then for good measure, steals his sunglasses*
Well Mr. Government flunky, you'll be happy to know that a starving child in Ethiopa will be fed based off what I've taken for you.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Government Flunky snaps his fingers and around the corner appear . . . can it be . . . YES! ina surprising twist of plot, the two most least likely suspects of government protection . . . Molder and Skully, to the rescue.
"You boys are in so much trouble now," snickers Government Flunky.
Posts: 15 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Hey Molder, there's an alien landing somewhere on the opposite end of the country.
*Molder leaves immediately to find the truth, and is followed by Skully*
Now Mr. Government flunky, for that, I am forced to toss you into a dumpster. *heaves Government Flunky into a nearby dumpster*
Posts: 332 | Registered: Apr 2003
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