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48. In a fit or rage over Jackson's changes, immediately following the movie find the nearest shire and scour it.
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#49 When Aragorn is crowned, yell "Its Good to be the King!"
#50 Complain bitterly that the cutting of the House of Healing scene is all a plot by the AMA and big Insurance companies.
#51 Debate Politics--Calling the Elves tree hugging Democrats who allowed gay marriage and thats what ruined their culture while Sarumon was a Fiscal Conservatives and Sauron was a more dangerous social conservative.
PS. The reason Phil Collins would make a great Tom Bombadil is because Phil Collins IS Tom Bombadil
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48. Make a petition to change the title of the third movie stating that it's misleading to Elvis fans, and try to get signatures from people in line.
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51. Bring a feather duster and tickle the back of the neck of the person in front of you when Shelob appears and every few minutes after that for the rest of the movie. Be quick and look noncholant so they don't know it's you.
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52. Go with a group of friends and all carry BIC lighters. Whenever a song comes on, as a group, flick your lighters and sway back and forth in time to the music.
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You know Tolkein considered Wagner's work to be amusing, but pretty much dismissed it altogether? I suppose I can see why, he had a problem with changing original stories, especially myths, so he probably wouldn't agree with Wagner's artistic license with the sagas.
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57. Announce that you're going to file a complaint with the NAACP because the black riders aren't really black, and you're sick and tired of the man trying to keep you down.
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I was watching Episode 5 of the Civil War series, and they mentioned Nathan Bedford Forrest, and I started laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. My husband came into the kitchen and wondered what could be so funny about a battle where "The bodies were stacked like cord wood". "Run, Forest, Run!"
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Well, I did have some folks giggling uncontrollably with the following comments.
"Look, it's Boromir's wood!" when Boromir appears carrying firewood in FOTR.
And then nudge, nudge, wink, wink, when Gandalf tells Theoden he'd regain his strength if his hand gripped his sword.
I've spoiled the movies for myself forever. I can't wait to see what ROTK has to amuse my twisted mind.
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Yeah, recently when I was watching TTT in the climactic charge I said, "Wow, Magneto saves the day."
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Ron just slayed me this morning by doing an amazing vocal impersonization of the singer who did the "Frodo of the Nine Fingers" song from the cartoon. It drives me crazy how well he can impersonate some voices. He does a mean Bullwinkle, various Simpson's characters, etc.
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74. (My own revised count, because of the duplicate 48-54's): Loudly proclaim that Jar-Jar Binks was lots better than Gollum. [Note: be prepared to run for your life!]
75. When you have been caught, just before you're about to be pounded into ketchup, plead: "That wasn't me! That was my evil twin!"
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76. Ask people around you, "Wouldn't it have been easier if the Elves had taken the ring with them to the 'Undying Lands'? Surely the ring would have been safe in America."
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77. Wait until the end and yell "It turned into a fluff thread about 3/4 of the way through."
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I actually had a woman ask me at the start of the Two Towers who the lost king was. She had no idea. Then she would read out all the subtitles to her son during the movie, who was way to young to be there. I wanted to die.
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X+1)[where X=#of Lines prior to this one] Whenever Sauron's army shows up, start singing the Orkan theme song.
X+2) At the end scream, "Eagles, Why did it have to be eagles."
X+2 Alt) Yell, Eagles Suck! Go RAMS!!!!
X+3) Complain loudly how this whole thing rips off Gary Gygax.
X+4) Throughout the movie make as many Quake, Star Wars, D&D or Mario references as possible. Have a co-conspirator do the same. Keep track just like Legolas and Gimli.
X+5) Expand ad-nauseum how the ring was not really destroyed, but survives today, as seen as the mysterious item in the brief case in Pulp Fiction.
X+6) Print out a copy of the photo-shopped e-mail with President Bush wearing the one ring, and force everyone to look at it.
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192) Don't be a nerd. 193) Don't show up in a lame costume for an even lamer movie. 194) Don't get all excited when a physically attractive and completely unattainable actor/actress comes on screen. 195) Shut up for five seconds (especially if you're talking in Elvish) and let people enjoy the movie. 196) Wear deodorant for cripes sake! I mean, I know you and your friends don't mind if you stink up your parent's basement with your painful body odor, but the rest of us socially adept people do. 197) Don't clap at the end. Peter Jackson didn't make this stuff up, he just drew some pretty pictures on the screen for you and every other monkey who cannot appreciate the books by themselves. 198) Going to a screening of all three movies including the extended editions? Good, I hope you get economy-class syndrome.
quote:X+5) Expand ad-nauseum how the ring was not really destroyed, but survives today, as seen as the mysterious item in the brief case in Pulp Fiction.
That's hilarious! I might actually do that...
And I also agree with 196, derogatory though it may have been intended - Deodorant is a must, even for the geekiest fanboys out there.
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Edit: By my count, the suggestion of Photo shopping Bush with a ring of power is #100. Woot! Though it would be even better if he had that spikey, hinged glove with the ring of power on it.
googolplex) Come up with a list of things to do and number it in Elvish