Actually, I think God's sense of humor is always in our favor. Whether we recognize it or not. It's just that he likes to remind us of how little our sense of control really means. On the one hand, that's kind of scary -- especially for control freaks, or people who believe they are the masters of their own destiny...you know.
But he's not like the ancient Olympians...just screwing around with our lives. I think the humor is like "oh...so you hate the Midwest...well, here ya go...you're moving next week." That kind of thing.
I find that I get to experience a whole new adventure when these things happen to me. But I've learned not to sweat it. Just laugh along with Him and hope he doesn't forget that I'm still kind of insecure and in need of a bit of a helping hand whenever I'm adjusting to whatever He's done for me this time.
So, no, I don't think reverse Psychology is what it's all about.
Sorry.
Hope you get the raise.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Congratulations Bob! I’m guessing from your post that you’re in the same giggly, ‘I feel like I’m back in Jr. High’ state that I’m in. Shall we commiserate?
I feel like I’m walking around looking like ---> My friends have started to say, “Why are you . . .Oh. Never mind. I know why you’re smiling.” Sarah is about ready to toss me into a snowbank. I’m going to tell her husband that he needs to do something mushy and romantic, ‘cause she’s getting jealous.
Was it kat who said that her litmus test for friends is whether or not they’d make good Hatrackers? This guy would be a great Hatracker – he’s smart and funny and likes to discuss stuff . . . maybe you’ll all get to meet him at the whatever we're calling it Con in Chicago!
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote: I'd just like to announce that dkw has inspired me to start dating as well
Well, Bob, not to be a spoilsport or anything -- but haven't you been divorced LESS than a year? I mean, just because dkw starts dating (she's been single a long time, ya know, and is very secure in herself; knows she doesn't NEED a man) doesn't mean you should jump in the fire as well.
(I think that's what they told me when I got divorced -- "don't date or make any major decisions within the first year when you are emotional." Of course, it has been 13 years now, and I still practice that -- except for the decision part).
Other than that - you can totally ignore me and go do whatever you want because you are a grown man and totally capable of making these hard decisions on your own!
quote:But he's not like the ancient Olympians...just screwing around with our lives. I think the humor is like "oh...so you hate the Midwest...well, here ya go...you're moving next week." That kind of thing.
I've been thinking about this whole cosmic sense of humor thing...
Considering how you've been closing in on TomD's post count lately, and how much you obsess about it...
Have you thought about what dating and a regular social/romantic life could do to your posting rate?
I have a hunch, though, if you're having any fun at all, you'll be a lot less concerned with your post count and just shrug as TomD pulls farther and farther ahead of you.
posted
Tom,I'm too giddy with anticipation to respond as you deserve.
Farmgirl...you know I thought about that a lot. And it did have me a little bit concerned. But fact is, I've known this woman for awhile and we've become great friends. It just feels right. I can't explain on any intellectual level that I would even credit, so I don't expect anyone else to, but it's like this:
As soon as I decided to ask her out, I felt like it was something I should've done a long time ago. The time we spent not dating each other now seems wasted and I can't get it back!
So, I guess that answers dkw's question. I have gone completely off the deep end about this. As I told my friend -- it feels like that first love feeling. It's something I thought you only get once in life, and here it is. Making me crazy.
Jeez, I shouldn't be writing this on Hatrack. I don't care if SHE sees it (should she ever happen onto this website) because I've already told her. But you all must think I've just gone nuts.
My biggest fear isn't how I feel, though, but that I'll be so wrapped up in this feeling that I'll just scare her or something. I mean, we're both supposedly mature people. What if she REALLY IS mature and looks at this dopey behavior on my part and starts to wonder about my mental state?
But so far, she seems just as unhinged, if I can use that word. She was thinking about me and wondering when the heck I was going to get around to asking... So she's pretty pleased that I finally did.
Look, there's nothing more insufferable than people talking about how in love they are...so I'll try not to bore you all. But there is this:
I had set myself a goal of waiting a full year after the divorce. I did that because, having been through it before, I knew that it had taken me about that long last time to feel non-toxic again. By toxic, I mean that thoughts of betrayal and disappointment would intrude on every conversation, but especially when talking to another woman.
But this time through is much different than last time. First, I wasn't as shocked since I saw it coming and had made my peace with it. So, in effect, I passed through part of the grieving process over the past 2 years. I think Icarus and Cor can attest to this.
The other thing is that I AM mature. I do know my own heart. I've been with it for a long time. And that certainty I felt when I finally decided to ask her out hasn't abated. In fact, it sort of shot up exponentially when I talked to her.
But Farmgirl, I know exactly what you mean. It IS fast. I don't want to slow things down. I don't think I will slow things down. But if I thought I was running the risk of hurting her, I would in a heart beat. I couldn't ever love myself again if I hurt her.
(does that sound sappy?) I could be going overboard, I suppose...but what does one do when things feel this good...and this RIGHT? If you don't take a chance in this kind of situation, when would you? When you're less certain?
I would certainly be more circumspect if it wasn't for the fact that she is feeling the same way. I swear it's like someone slipped something into the TX water supply.
dkw -- I like that word twitterpated. I was going with "smitten" but that sounds so 19th century and inadequte. Quoting Bambi seems far closer to the mark.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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You know, I always distrusted this feeling for exactly that reason, that it was like those dumb romantic movies where the dopey guy chases the girl through a field for no good reason. Oh wait, there was the sex when he finally caught her (usually just implied sex of course). But anyway, I saw that movie and didn't want to live it -- be that dopey guy.
But in this case, I'm actually certain that this isn't just some feminine wile or deliberate tactic on her part. I mean, the woman waited and didn't even HINT that she was thinking of me as dating material. And it wasn't out of pride or anything. She didn't want to push me into something I wasn't ready for.
Actually, I'll have to admit, we have had some serious discussions in the midst of all this addle-brained romance. So, I shouldn't paint such a gauzy-lensed picture of things.
We had to overcome some serious barriers to our dating, not the least of which was my concern over the recency of my divorce.
Heck, FG, I don't even flirt for fear of hurting someone.
But still, I do see your point.
If you knew her, I think you'd agree that her capacity for playing games is completely benign. She plays games, but not with people's affections. By games...I mean that she has fun with life and doesn't have to be serious or goal-oriented all the time.
Anyway, I trust her implicitly. I guess I could see how from the outside one might question that, but I think that anyone who knows her would agree that she's a straight-forward, honest person who isn't really into power trips.
I guess I should shut up before someone demands I write an ode...
posted
Not to mention DKW's clue, the title, "God's sense of humor all over this." We all know Bob is God's sense of humor.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
You both reminded me to add rule #17 to my rules of life. "At least once in your life, everyone should fall headlessly, giddilly, stupidly silly, sacharinly sweet and gooey in love."
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Farmgirl, don't cry. Since it hasn't happened yet, that means you have something great to look foward too.
It didn't happen to my wifes grandmother until she was in her 70's.
Bob--No. I won't retract my challenge, because I'm using it to get either of you to introduce us to your new friends. We have to make sure they are good enough for you.
YOu can tell them we approve, but if they hurt either of you, we will hunt them down and burninate all over them.
And this isn't anything like JR High. Say that again and you'll just have to meet me outside after the bell rings. Shh, I'm late for Gym class.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
I just want you two to know that I was absolutely certain, but didn't want to actually MAKE you deny it. I was prodding, but not actually poking. In fact, I debated some time about including the "j/k," because it wasn't exactly honest, but left it in because, if pressed, I could point out that they weren't very subtle hints at all. *grin*
posted
You know, though, darnit, Bob's likely to pass me even FASTER now that he's fallen for a regular. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Now that I'm (somewhat) over my shock, I do recall that when I met dkw a few months back, and she mentioned a recent time she had gotten together with Bob, I had a fleeting thought . . .
. . . which I dismissed. Oops. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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. It's been a very tiring meeting and Dana's free cell phone minutes don't kick in until past 10:00 pm here.![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
Tom
