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Porteiro Head is right. Here in Brazil breastfeeding a baby in public is very normal. I really don't know why. Maybe it's our hotter climate, or maybe brazilians are less prudish than other people...really don't know.
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8 and still nursing is strange... But, is it so bad for someone to keep their security blanket? What's wrong with that?
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Boon
unregistered
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I changed the title...I thought this was more appropriate.
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When a child is old enough to understand that boobs are not just for nursing, then they are old enough to stop. The last thing in the world you'd want is to have your child thinking about your chest in some way besides "food". And for those of you out there who think that an eight-year-old doesn't think that way, you're wrong.
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I think it depends on the eight-year-old, and what they've been exposed too. (No pun intended.)
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I think it's at least possible that this woman is right.
And I think taking her child away (it was six months six days, not 2 years) was a dumb thing to do.
I think it'd be important to take some time before deciding what to do, if anything, about it.
But she's done one thing I can't possibly support, and that is turn her kid into a crusade. If this was just about the kid, I think a reasonable reaction would be to lay low and not go on National TV to talk about it. I find her reasons for taking this to the media to be rather silly.
And "to the best of her knowledge he hasn't been teased about it" is far from comforting to me. I think once people see this on TV (or on the web, or whatever), the kid is in for some major crap from his school mates.
Of course, he'll probably wean himself at that point.
But what a crappy situation she's placing him in by going public.
IMHO.
Her crusade to make breastfeeding more acceptable is not worth it. If she really cares about her kid, that is.
Oh, and did you all notice that she pointed to "other countries" and said how they routinely breastfeed until 6 years old. How is that a justification for going until 8 years old? Am I missing something? I think she'd have been better off to just say "we're doing fine, leave us alone"
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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I agree, Bob. When I read that, I thought, well, other countries eat dogs too, hmm? As for the teasing....whoa, it's gonna be bad. As I said, Boy Opera is 9, and while he probably wouldn't tease to the face, he'd definately think this kid was a weirdo.
I didn't mean that all 8-yr-olds think about sex. Obviously a child that doesn't know about sex or the role breasts play can BE thinking about that. I'm talking more about the physical part of it...meaning that children can be stimulated by the sight of a naked parent without understanding the why or wherefore. There has been alot of study done on the way a child views his parent (esp. of the opposite sex) and we can see that kids have several different ways that they relate to their parent. As strange as it may seem, children begin their sexual development very early on, and most of that is based on their relationship with their mother or father. I can't prove it, but it does seem like a male child would have difficulty developing normally in his relationships with the opposite sex if his physical relationship with his mother were to carry on for too long.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I've been thinking about the resilient nature of children, and the whole "well adjusted & happy" thing. There was this kid in my building in NYC. His mother used to write and distribute a newsletter talking about how Jews were taking over the country, blacks were polluting our pure race, and we should kill them all. His father was fired for misusing the University's resources (basically, he xeroxed the things for her -- enabler, I guess). I was always worried about this kid. He looked like the perfect Aryan ideal. Tall, blond, blue eyed, muscular, etc. I figured, "oh, his mind is poisoned and he'll end up just not fitting into polite society."
I saw him kissing his girlfriend one day. A black girl from the neighborhood. I got a great chuckle out of that. It was like "ah, you're good." LOL.
I figure if a kid can grow up to reject the parents' nonsense even when it must be nightly poured down upon them, then it's proabably true that kids can overcome just about anything.
Except physical abuse, I imagine.
Ah well. Not really relevant. I have no idea if this kid was breastfed.
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quote: it does seem like a male child would have difficulty developing normally in his relationships with the opposite sex if his physical relationship with his mother were to carry on for too long.
Well, I do know a guy who slept with his mother (purely sleeping, not actually DOING anything) all through college.
Of course, he's gay, but he is a happy and well-adjusted gay man.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Really? So can women who've never given birth lactate as well? Hmm...if that's the case, should parents who've adopted an infant attempt to get the woman producing milk so she can breastfeed?
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Shigosei, some adoptive moms do manage it. However, it takes (from what I understand) a LOT of dedication, and time, and usually the use of something like a Lact-Aid. But many adoptive moms want to nurse their babies, with additional supplementation, as necessary.
quote: I saw him kissing his girlfriend one day. A black girl from the neighborhood. I got a great chuckle out of that. It was like "ah, you're good." LOL.
Or he's stickin' it to his parents. Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Both my kids started out breastfeeding, but my wife had to give it up both times because of the medication she was forced to start. I really wish she could have breastfed them both. It was always such a comforting, happy sight to see our little baby being held there and eating so contentedly. I am definitely an advocate for breastfeeding, although I understand that sometimes it just isn't possible. I'll always try to give breastfeeding mothers a smile (without invading their privacy, of course), because it always warms my heart.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Just for the record, most medicines are compatible with breastfeeding. Many doctors are not aware of this, and will automatically tell a mom to stop breastfeeding for many medications, when she could have continued with no problem. Always check with a LLL Leader or a lactation consultant if told to wean or stop breastfeeding temporarily due to meds - we have access to the latest research on which meds can and cannot be used while breastfeeding.
Not saying this was the case in your wife's case, afr, cause I don't know what med she was on. (Nor am I asking, it's none of my business. ) But it's important for women to know that they usually don't have to wean to take medications.
[ June 28, 2004, 11:12 AM: Message edited by: Ela ]
Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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The problem, as far as we could tell, is that there just isn't a lot of research on many meds as far as how they affect the baby during breastfeeding. Nobody wants to be the test subject. We just didn't want to take chances, and the indications on most meds say breastfeeding moms shouldn't take them.
The breastfeeding schedule itself was too rigorous for my wife after birth. She simply could not make it without a full night's sleep. For both our babies, I spent night after night sleeping in the living room near the bassinet with a bottle ready to warm up. It was hard, but worth the effort.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote:the indications on most meds say breastfeeding moms shouldn't take them.
Keep in mind that the information in the PDR is written by the drug companies. They are writing this stuff to cover their butts. Many meds that have info in the PDR saying breastfeeding moms shouldn't take them are approved by the American Academy of Pediatrics list as "compatible with breastfeeding." And many doctors go with the PDR, they are not really interested in researching it themselves, unless the mother researches and brings the relevant information to the doctor's attention.
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We did our best to research the different meds, but there is so little research done on breastfeeding moms. My wife's doctor had no better information than we could find ourselves. No one wants to be a test subject when their baby's health could be at risk. We found the most honest information on various forums, by moms using the meds, but the results and opinions were mixed and didn't make us feel too confident.
In light of my wife's health after the births, we decided both times that it would be best just to bottle feed. It was a very difficult decision both times, and had to be made in the matter of a day both times.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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About 8 year olds thinking about sex... My just-turned-seven-year-old surprises me sometimes. I mean, he doesn't 'like girls' much yet, but one day I was tying his martial arts belt and sort of bent over him, accidentally placing his nose right in the neckline of my shirt. Bent over like that, it put my cleavage at eye level.
He stood really still, but said, "Hubba, hubba!"
Now, I'm ure he doesn't remember being breast-fed, but he does remember me feeding his little brother. A few months ago, we wentthrough a bit of a trail when he kept trying to fondle my chest. I know it's interesting and different for little boys, and I understand (sort of) the fascination, but I wasn't comfortable with it. After scoldings for the behavior and an explanation of why those places are private, he stopped.
To be honest, I find the IDEA of nursing an eight-year-old to be really squicky. Just a personal comfort thing, not a value judgement.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:by the way, does breast milk taste good? It sounds rather revolting -- warm milk...blech...
Is it good in coffee?
Weeelll, Bob, that depends on the mom's diet. When Matthew was a babe and I had enough milk to feed triplets in thefreezer, hubby woke up one morning and discovered there was no moo for his latte...asked if he could use some of mine. He said it was way too garlicky! To this day, all my kids love raw garlic, which we credit the garlicky flavor of my milk to.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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One of the funniest things I have ever seen was on "Providence." The sister was making the mom's clam chowder recipe. (The mom is kind of a visiting ghost in the show) Anyway, she leaves the finishing for her family. She tells them to put the cream in at a certain time. They do, and they eat the soup. It is the best clam chowder they have ever had. The sister goes back to the fridge to get her breast milk for the baby, and realizes they put it in the soup.
So, I guess it tastes good!
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Blue-ish is common, is sort of the way that skim milk can be blue-ish. (But not for the same reason -- breast milk is actually fairly high in the fat babies need to thrive.) I hear pinkish and orange-ish are not too rare as well.
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Now I'm REALLY squicked out! Breast milk is for the BABY! Not for chowder or coffee or salad dressing or baking a cake or churning homemade ice cream or whatever...
:squick: :squick again:
[ June 28, 2004, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: Yozhik ]
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Actually, I'm pretty sure that adults ingesting human milk is probably a bad idea. There's probably a huge chance of spreading disease that way. I mean, body fluids!!
Of course, that can't really be true or babies would be harmed by it...
But still...seems like a bad idea.
I prefer pasteurized anyway, no matter what source it is from.
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Presumably. But it's far easier to make soy cheese -- or at least, it's easier to buy it commercially made.
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Which reminds me. I bought one of those soy yogurt things once--I think the brand was "Silk," or something like that. It was blueberry flavored.
It had one of the nastiest aftertastes I have ever experienced. I offered it to the dog, but she didn't want it either (making this one of four known foods she will not eat: the others are raw red beets, lemons, and week-old crab legs).
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I've never bought soy yogurt. I don't even remember whether any are kosher. We do go through a respectable amount of tofu, TVP, soy and rice milk, and assorted other soy products. Occasionally I do buy the Tofutti "cheese," and I have made cheeseburgers that way (once, I think). I prefer to do it the other way -- soy "meat" patty with real cheese on top.
Yes, I do live in California. Why do you ask?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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OK, I do NOT mean this to be a smarty-pants, but Rivka, is breast milk kosher? I mean, I figure a woman's own would be, but if she had to go to a breast milk bank because she couldn't nurse for some reason, would it be kosher?
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Generally, one would try to get breast milk from other kosher-observant women. If that were unavailable, I guess it would depend on how important it was that the baby get breast milk. (Health issue? How serious? Or just personal preference?) It would definitely be a consult-your-rabbi type question.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Actually, I believe all of the big-name American formulas are kosher.
And yeah, the formula problem in Israel was a big deal. And it ONLY affected the formula from that company that they make for Israel. I think the hysterical "conspiracy" claims have died down by now, though.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I found this article and thought you all might like reading it.
I really admired the woman that fought back against a local pool that scolded her for breastfeeding. She recruited some other young mothers to breastfeed at the pool en masse. Brilliant!
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