Topic: The breastfeeding survival guide (was: Does a woman breastfeeding in public...)
Boon
unregistered
posted
I am decidedly against epidurals for ME, but that's just because of my fear of needles I can't watch.
I did get a total of one miligram of Stadol through the IV while in labor with Thomas, in (3) 1/3 mg mini-doses. I'm no hero, I needed something to take the edge off, but I didn't want to be out of it either.
Beverly and Elizabeth are right: learn all you can and don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if you want it. Try to be informed about what they want to give you, too. I suggest you try a half dose at first. If that's not enough after 10 minutes or so, the nurses will have no problem giving you the rest of your dose. That's what I did, in thirds. And I wound up with a spinal block anyway, because Thomas had to come via c-section. I don't regret a moment of it.
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I second the advice to let all the advice wash over you *smile* And I know how hard this can be when you're already feeling overwhelmed and emotional. Get some good reference books and/or websites, keep up a good discussion with your doctor and realize that people are excited for your baby and don't realize how hurtful they can be. Be strong, do what is best for you and don't panic and you'll do wonderfully! You will make the right decisions for you and your baby.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:because she did not BELIEVE that she could be getting enough from my breasts.
There are two good ways to make sure a baby is getting enough milk: weighing on a sensitive scale and following the frequency of wet diapers. The latter is more practical.
Any baby that is urinating at least every 2-3h is getting more than enough liquid. Urinating every 3-4h is fine, and that's the average goal for normal babies. Babies that are going more than 5 or 6 hours between urinations need to be watched closely, and we really start to worry if they are going more than 8 hours between urinations. As long as your baby was urinating well, she (or he) was getting plenty of milk, and to heck with mothers-in-law.
For newborns, expect at least 1 pee the 1st day of life, 2 the 2nd, 3 the 3rd, up until they are urinating 6-8 times per day.
Newborns with jaundice or other medical problems may require some form of supplementation, but it doesn't have to be by bottle. Sip-cups, syringes, and a variety of tube-y things are all useful alternatives to prevent early "nipple confusion."
(I love Elizabeth's last post, and I wish every first time pregnant woman would take it to heart. Sensible, prosaic, and supportive. )
posted
(and I love Christy's post, especially as she is my very favorite Pregnant Chick, and she totally is in charge. Go, Christy! )
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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lChristy, close your ears. I didn't post this story on the 'birth stories thread' because I didn't want to upset anyone.
Robert got stuck. After my labor stopped suddenly and for no reason (I was almost to the pushing stage and the contractions petered out) they put me on a pitocin drip (the dosage increases every 20 min). Now it doesn't do this everyone, but after about an hour of that, I felt like someone was ripping the spine out of my lower back every time I had a contraction. My natural labor hadn't been 'back labor' at all. It really hurt. I'd been awake for 48 hours at that point. I got an epidural. When the bill came a few months later, I cheerfully paid it in full. Worth every penny, and I'll tell you why.
Robert was stuck. After 3 and a half hours of pushing, he just wasn't budging. He was stuck about two inches in, and he wasn't gong to crown. They said it would be easiest to pull him out with forceps, but that they'd have to cut a lot, even inside. That seemed better than a c-section, which at that point would have been riskier for the baby because of where his head was stuck.
They cut, full epiziotome (sp?) and then some. When they pulled him out, I tore even more. Ron was completely traumatized to see it. The floor was slick with blood and stuff, and I looked like hamburger down there. They had to put me under general anesthesia to sew me up. I drifted in and out. I remember seeing two different nurses count stacks of bloody sponges (had to make sure they didn't leave any in me) and another mopping my blood and stuff off the floor. My privates were covered with ice packs and still very swollen. like, halfway to my knees.
My poor husband came in and held my hand. I couldn't see his face, because they made me take out my contacts when they put me under the general anesthesia. I could hear him crying a little, or trying not to. He'd gone with the baby for the washing and all that, so I thought something had happened to Robert.
Then Ron patted my head, called me a pet name he's always had for me, and told me that he would never ask me to go through that again. I told him it was okay, that I'd heal.
And I did. It took about 8 weeks instead of the usual six, but I was as good as new. But I NEVER felt guilty about the epidural. I'm glad I was mostly numb when most of that was happening (though I did feel pain-- it had been turned down when I started pushing so it was wearing off). I'm just saying.
My friend Susan had the same thing happen to her, only she 'over-healed' and the walls of her vagina actually started to heal together. She had to have them separated, and went through another several weeks of healing after that.
But you know what? We both had second babies, so it couldn't have been that bad.
posted
I'm a little late, but I wanted to say that I found an electric breastpump very handy. I got into a routine where every morning, when I had plenty of milk, I'd give the baby breakfast on one side and pump the other. It kept my milk supply up, I had plenty of extra frozen milk on hand in case I needed it, and I liked to think of the extra calories I was getting rid of (nursing was a great weight-loss technique for me).
Oh, and for me too, Olivetta. Especially since it sound far too much like what would have happened to me if DangerGirl had been about 6 ounces lighter (she got stuck and we had a c-section).
Posts: 335 | Registered: Feb 2001
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Having babies is hard work, that's why they call it "labor". *grin* That said, Olivia...
For breast milk relief, I recommend a warm, gentle shower. You will 'let down', but since you will be in the shower, it doesn't matter.
I had a battery-powered breast pump, but found hand-expressing much easier. YMMV. Since I was able to be a twenty four hour foodmart , it wasn't much of an issue.
Every woman has to be in charge of her own childbirth experience as much as she is able, since so many variables come into play, it's probably not going to go 'as planned', anyway. If the mom can feel as if she has at least had her instructions heeded by human persons (rather than Divine Intervention or whatever), at least there is that.
I was very very lucky to have such an...well...not easy (because it's HARD) birth experience...but a well-run no surprises birth experience with The Boy. I was not opposed to pain meds, but didn't end up using them. I did have a little pitocin to push out the placenta. I had an episiotomy so I wouldn't tear. I was able to choose these options myself (after consulting with the doctor and Knowledgeable Hubby). I was very lucky, indeed.
I hope that you get to be as lucky as me, too. Lucky to make your own choices, of course, not mine. Posts: 1545 | Registered: May 2002
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quote: My husband says if the baby is old enough to ask for it by name, they are too old.
This is what I've always said, too.
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Dawnmaria: Don't be worried, this almost never happens. But the "gotcha" stage that's so painful when you first begin to breastfeed NEVER went away for me. The children were great at nursing and I'm physically normal, but I nursed through excruciating pain with one child until he was over a year old. When the second came along, I decided to use a bottle after it showed signs of being the same as the first child. I hated using a bottle, but it was preferable to being completely unable to enjoy my child MOST of the time, and I knew that the first kid could sense that I didn't want him anywhere near me at feeding time. I couldn't stand that with number two.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I have breast fed practically everywhere, at work, at the store, walking at Niagara Falls, on an airplane, just everywhere. I have always covered up so no one can see anything. I was at a wedding a few months ago and another mom was feeding her child in public. It did make me uncomfortable because she did not cover up at all.
We had to buy a pump on the way home from the hospital after Mooselet was born because he would not latch (it took a week before he finally did). I can't tell you how many nurses grabbed my boobs and tried to get Mooselet to latch. I guess you can't be too modest in the hospital when you and the baby are still learning.
We did by an electric pump (does both at once). I have never had much luck with hand pumps. It only works if I am really full of milk (and then it still only works well with one of them).
I was cracked and sore for a few weeks with Superstation at the beginning too. It really hurt when he first latched, but got better by the time he was done. After a while it was fine.
I am getting tired of pumping, though. About two months ago Superstation decided he preferred the bottle (he will still nurse when he wakes up at night, but only then). I no longer pump just at work. Now I pump at home too. It is much cheaper than formula! But, it is getting really old. I am dropping a pumping every couple weeks and will have myself weaned by the time we go to KamaCon. When we return home, Superstation will have to eat the 70+ bottles of milk in our freezer before we have to go to formula.
On the drug front, I had an epi with Mooselet, but went natural with Superstation. Of course, that was not the plan with Superstation, and I was not prepared properly to go natural. I will plan for drugs next time, but I will be prepared not to have them (I will just be hoping we make it to the hospital in time, next time).
Posts: 399 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
PSI, I used to put off feeding the baby till the last possible moment because I so dreaded the pain. Fortunately, it passed eventually, and the remainder of breastfeeding was relatively easy--until they started biting. > Lansinoh (or however you spell it) was a life saver.
I was told with the last baby that I might have a yeast infection on the breasts that might be irritating my skin. I was given a prescription for some little concoction called "newman ointment" or something that was sooooo nice! Like putting water on the fire. It was even better than Lansinoh. It really made me wonder if I had had a yeast infection the last two times also! Something to keep in mind. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Yeah, with uncomfortable breast fullness, only use cold packs if you don't want to encourage milk production. Warmth may make you leak, but it won't make your supply dwindle. I think they tell women who don't want to breastfeed to use coldpacks to ease the engorgement.
BTW, I didn't tell that story to make anybody faint. I assure you that Robert was well worth the trouble. It was hard, what with the weeks of sits baths and sitting on pillows, and all the internal stitches made normal bodily functions challenging for a while. But I wouldn't go back and change it if I could. Robert is a peach.
I'm also glad it happened, because I was able to be there for Susan. She knew she could talk about very specific, intimate details that bothered her, because our experiences were so similar (even though her recovery was much worse, as mentioned above).
I also want to repeat the fact that we were both as good as new after we healed. No odd twinges or anything, no sexual or other consequences of any kind. I'm not particularly tough or resilient-- women in general ARE, though. We were made to be able to do this. We hurt, we heal, we love. We do what we have to do to take care of our babies. *shrug*
That's just how it is.
However, my mom (a registered nurse) was with me through it all. She counted the stitches. She said it took my doctor three contractions with me pushing and him pulling to get Robert out. She'd tell the story and not leave out the spurting blood or anything. That got old, real fast, but she did clam up about it when I asked her to.
In any case, when it comes to caring for your babies, listen to advice, but follow your instincts. Everyone makes mistakes. Our parents did, but we still managed to get this far. so don't sweat it too much.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: I also want to repeat the fact that we were both as good as new after we healed. No odd twinges or anything, no sexual or other consequences of any kind. I'm not particularly tough or resilient-- women in general ARE, though. We were made to be able to do this. We hurt, we heal, we love. We do what we have to do to take care of our babies. *shrug*
That is such a beautiful thing. Oh, and I am not all bothered that you shared that story. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My husband says if the baby is old enough to ask for it by name, they are too old. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is what I've always said, too.
Gotta respectfully disagree there. That' a pretty arbitrary standard to place on such a personal thing. I think it's a good idea to come up with code names for nursing, if the mom does not want to bother people though ( Unfortunatley my toddler, all on his own, came up with "boos", which sounds so much like booze I almost rather he asked for breast).
Olivett- WOW! What a story. And your friend! Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
My daughter calls them "milks" because I told her that I'm feeding my baby milk. I am really grateful, because she will commonly say to me or any other woman in public, "Do you have milks?" I just say "yes" or pretend I don't hear her. I would be more uncomfortable if she was saying to the check-out lady, "Do you have boobs?"
Though she is always asking boys and men, "Do you have a wee-wee?" And people can figure out what she is talking about there. But then it is not in response to her "seeing" said items, it is more a matter of deduction.
It doesn't matter how many times she has asked you the question. She *will* ask you again.
posted
I taught Nathan to say "nurse" -it was one of his first words, actually.
And here's a cute "nursing" story (Nathan was not yet three years of age when this happened):
He saw a baby doll in blue overalls holding a bottle at ShopKo and reached for it. It was only $3.00 so I decided fine. Nathan popped the bottle into the doll's mouth and off down the aisle we went. A couple of minutes later I looked down and had to restrain myself from LMAO. Nathan had rucked up his shirt and placed the doll at his breast.
My five year old will hold a doll bottle to her chest, then give the doll and bottle to her little brother and tell him to feed tha baby while she's gone.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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bev, your story reminds me of Operaetta. She was about 3, and had not known my sister's boyfriend (now husband) for very long. I had my sister babysit, and I guess that while they were eating dinner, Operaetta looked at my sis's boyfriend and said, "You have a penis, right?" My sister, who had just left the table, said there was no way she was going to rescue him. He turned bright red and said, "yes, I do."
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Boon, I had a similar experience to yours while nursing my son in a doctor's waiting room. This was a very large waiting room for a large ophthamology practice. There was an area on the left hand side with a play area for children. It was separated from the rest of the waiting room with a high divider. The receptionist could see me, but none of the adults in the other parts of the waiting room.
My son got hungry, and I breastfed him. It was always my practice, when breastfeeding, to wear large shirts that provided a lot of coverage, and didn't reveal any skin at all while breastfeeding. Most of the time you couldn't even tell I was breastfeeding, it just looked like I was holding the baby close (and any mother can practice this at home before trying it in public).I never had the practice of throwing a blanket over my shoulder because I feel that this just draws attention to what you are doing.
In any case, the receptionist did figure out what I was doing. She walked over to me and said, "Could you please do that in the rest room?" It was as though she couldn't even bring herself to say what I was doing. I responded, "No, I will not feed my baby in the bathroom."
I just want to point out that a lot more boob is revealed in the bathing suits women wear these days (and even in some of the outfits women wear these days) than you will see when a women is discreetly breastfeeding her baby.
But I don't have any problem at all with women breastfeeding their babies in public, even if they are showing breast. That's what breasts are for, and if more women did it, our society would not look on it as something unnatural, shameful, improper, "gross" (yes, I've heard this said) or dirty.
And Boon, I loved the breastfeeding cards. Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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When my youngest was an infant, my oldest was not-quite-six. She had a large collection of dolls and stuffed animals. She liked to "nurse" them, one after another, frequently. She decided it was too much bother to move her clothes out of the way -- so she just nursed through them. I always wished I could figure out that trick!
Dawnmaria, if you are experiencing breast discomfort, have you considered that you may need a larger bra? Especially with a first pregnancy, there tends to be significant growth of the breast and expansion of the rib cage.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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rivka, a larger bra is an excellent suggestion for Dawnmaria. I was thinking that, too. Many women have some breast discomfort during pregnancy though. It's usually the worst the first trimeester, but it can vary from woman to woman.
Dawnmaria, La Leche League are an excellent idea too. They have lots of good information and will answer all your questions. I always encourage pregnant moms to come to my LLL meetings.
Breastfeeding [b]should not/b] hurt. Get educated about proper positioning and latch-on before the birth. If you have a problem after birth, don't wait, have the name of a local LLL Leader with you, and call her - Leaders can often help with problems over the phone. I tell the moms in my group to take my phone number to the hospital.
Oh, and if you are staying home with the baby, you don't need a breast pump at all. Some women do like a pump to pump an occasional bottle. But please don't start pumping till your milk supply is well-established, at about 4-6 weeks of age, unless you have circumstances that make it necessary.
Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
I hate to disagree with Ela, but in my experience, that's not 100% true.
The rib cage shrinks back somewhat after pregnancy, but usually stays a bit larger than pre-pregnancy. As far as the breasts . . . it depends. I know several women whose stayed significantly larger even years after weaning. In some cases that is probably mostly a weight issue, but in at least two that I know of it is not.
But most women do seem to shrink back to approximately pre-pregnancy size, or maybe a cup size bigger.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Many complain that they are smaller-chested after lactation. Some speculate this is just the "deflatedness" after being stretched so big, but seems to be an increasing acknowledgement that this does happen to some women.
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It's true for most women, rivka. There are always exceptions for every generality.
For example, I was an exception to the generality that it's easy to lose your pregnancy weight gain while breastfeeding. Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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I have heard that too--that they will be smaller than normal right after, but then regain the original size given time. Never the same afterwards, but then that's not the only aspect of a mother's body that will never be the same.
Dang, Ela, breastfeeding does not seem to make it easy for me to lose the weight either.
posted
And yet, I have talked to hundreds of women at LLL meetings and elsewhere who have said how easy it was to lose that baby weight while breastfeeding...
Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
cuz I think I've got this lactation bit down, but I'm wondering if my Screen Actors Guild credits will transfer... or cross-over.
Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Ela, and most of my friends agree. One woman I know has had 13 kids, and generally by the time each baby reaches 3 months, looks as slender as she must have before she had any. And I've asked her about it -- the weight just comes off with breastfeeding, she says.
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I Love You Guys! You are making me feel so much better! rivka, I did get bigger bras. Lord, I had too! It's more a nipple pain then the whole breast. I may go to get some of that cream ya'll were talking about today and see if that helps. I read that a pregnant womens heart enlarges a little bit, could that be why our ribcages get larger? The more I read the more I feel possessed! Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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One woman I know has had 13 kids, and generally by the time each baby reaches 3 months, looks as slender as she must have before she had any. And I've asked her about it -- the weight just comes off with breastfeeding, she says.
