posted
I wanted another baby before this, you know, but you're right, it's like a need to be pregnant. But talking about it helps some. Well, at least a little. I'm able to kind of validate my need, while recognizing that the rational thing to do is stick with our earlier plan to try later.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I had a miscarriage I was 20 weeks along. I was sick from surgery I had the year before and I should not have gotten pregnant. Pretty much everyone knew that it had happened and nothing was said about her. When I got pregnant with Thomas I was terrified. I knew the first miscarriage was my fault and I was certain it was going to happen again. Baecuse of my gastric bypass I went to see a prenatal specialist every 2 weeks.
Posts: 153 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Rivka, I went in for an exam with the midwife, and she saw no reason to forbid me from going ahead. She acknowledged that the advice is to wait at least one cycle if not two or three (it has been one full cycle now).
Her own personal advice based on her experience (she had 11 live births and 3 miscarriages) was that if all looked well after one cycle, it was OK. It was her personal belief was that if my body wasn't ready to get pregnant again yet, it wouldn't.
I don't personally think that last thing makes sense, but I am not too concerned about proceeding medically-wise. If it had been a later miscarriage with more trauma and bleeding, I would be more hesitant. But the miscarriage was so early and so physically easy on my body. It wasn't much different than a normal period.
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Oh, so I've used this time that I'm not allowed to be pregnant to try and slim down a few pounds. Not a bad way to pass the time--do something that you otherwise can't do with impunity when pregnant.
Realizing that I could have that as a goal actually helped me get over the depression of not being able to be pregnant right now. Weird, eh?
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I don't think it's weird; actually, continuing to nurse Emma has really helped me, since that's something I'd be encouraged to stop in order to have a healthy pregnancy. She's not interested in it as much as she used to be, but she still likes to at night and in the morning and before naps, and now she's getting more teeth, and she turns to it for comfort a little more. It makes me feel like maybe there's a reason that can satisfy me emotionally to not get pregnant right now.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I had a miscarriage last September and it was very painful. When my husband and I realized that we were going to lose the baby, we just held each other and sobbed. I know that my husband felt that perhaps it was his fault somehow, because when the pregnancy test was positive, he was very shocked and not very excited. Over the course of a week he got excited, and then I started to miscarry. . . . Like I said, it was very painful for both of us. That night we prayed and told God that we really wanted the baby, but that if something wasn't right that it was okay. Those were very hard words to say, but I know helped me and I think helped my husband in the long run. I had to have a D and C, and afterwards got very depressed. It was all I could do to go through the motions of life. Well, some healing comes with time. After I went through one menstrual cycle, we started trying again. It took two months, but on New Years I had a positive pregnancy test. We were both cautiously excited. I'm now 20 weeks and am grateful everytime I feel my baby move. My husband is at Basic Training to go into the Army National Guard. I think me being pregnant has made the separation more difficult. I know he wanted to be here for everything. But, it's better that he's gone now, during the 2nd trimester rather than the third.
I don't want to ever experience a miscarriage again and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. However, it has made me who I am today, like all of my other past experiences.
I can only imagine the pain that School4ever endures. My heart goes out to you.
Thanks for starting the thread, Beverly. Not that I enjoy others pain, but it helps to know that there are people who understand what I went through.
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I am so sorry for your loss. It's especially hard when the loss is of a pregnancy one or both parents were not thrilled about in the beginning. Hugs to you and wishes for a healthy pregancy this time.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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seespot, I wish you all the best. I know that it is hard not to think about the last time, I know I sweated it out the whole time w/ my 2nd pregnancy. But I do hope you can enjoy being pregnant. 20 weeks is a great time. I think once I felt Leslie move I was able to allow myself to breath a little bit easier. And tell your hubby thanks for serving his country even when he'd rather be home w/you! Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Welcome to Hatrack, seespot. May your pregnancy be joyful and healthy.
kq, I was under the impression that (except in high-risk pregnancies) nursing mothers were no longer pushed to wean if pregnant? Hasn't it been shown that there is not generally an increased risk?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Because I have a history of not eating right, as well as pregnancy problems, the doctors I've talked to about it have told me they would like me to wean before I get pregnant again. They wouldn't make me wean before a year if I was nursing a younger baby and got pregnant, but they would prefer I wean Ems at this point if I find out I'm pregnant again.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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if it's any help for when you do become pregnant again, kq, many nursing babies self-ween when their mothers become pregnant. Mine did within the first trimester and a friend's daughter actually said the milk "tastes yucky". So you may not have to force the issue.
By the way, this is a wonderful thread. for all the other moms out there who have lost one of their littlest ones. Me too.
Posts: 251 | Registered: Apr 2005
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I'm glad I made this thread too! Too often miscarriage is something you "just don't talk about". Too many suffer in silence. Congrats on 20 weeks! Hope things continue to go so well and your husband can be with you during the important and exciting wrap-up scenes. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I'm able to kind of validate my need, while recognizing that the rational thing to do is stick with our earlier plan to try later.
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for all the other moms out there who have lost one of their littlest ones. Me too.
