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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » I need bad juvenile jokes (Page 2)

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Author Topic: I need bad juvenile jokes
Ela
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I seem to recall that a nephew of mine thought this old standby was hilarious when he first heard it:

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
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JennaDean
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.
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BGgurl
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Q: What do you call a brownie that wakes up on the wrong side of the bed?
A: A frownie! [Big Grin]

And some appalling Thanksgiving jokes, complements of my family.

Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
A: Boy! I'm stuffed!

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play.

Q: Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
A: To keep his wigwam.

Q: What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: turKEY!
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jexx
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Why did the squirrel cross the road?

He was stapled to a chicken!


My son's favorite:

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because 7 8 9! (say it out loud)

My son's other favorite (even though he doesn't get it):

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish!

I think he likes that one because it cracks me up. Every. D@mn. Time. [Smile]
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Princess Leah
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I love that joke, jexx! I've heard a couple of different versions, too:

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

- two. One to paint the girraffe mauve, and the other to put the clocks in the bathtup

OR

-to get to the other side.
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Dan_raven
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My goodness, what have I started?

Stay away from the Chicken/Road jokes, or we'll have to bring up THAT THREAD.
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dantesparadigm
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How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


2, one to hold the lightbulb and one to drink until the room spins
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BGgurl
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Q: How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb, and two to come to your door and ask if you've seen the light.
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Ela
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How many forum posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Evil]
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FlyingCow
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Oh, *that* thread!

I thought you meant *this* thread!

[Evil]
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JennaDean
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Oh, FlyingCow, you are Eeeevil. You have sucked me into the madness. Curses.
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Ela
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[Razz]
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MidnightBlue
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I really shouldn't be reading this in class. It's been far too hard to keep from laughing out loud.
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ketchupqueen
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sheep.
Sheep who?
Careful not to step in it.
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ketchupqueen
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
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ketchupqueen
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Why do Eskimos only wash their clothes in Tide?
Because it's too cold out-tide!
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Anna
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Oh my. I didn't remember the light bulb one and nearly fall from my chair laughing!
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Jonathan Howard
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quote:
Q: What's the difference between a duck?

A: One of its legs is the same.

(This one's sure to get lots of laughs out of a young person.)
My great-grandfather's one was:

Q: Why does a mouse when it spins?
A: The higher the fewer.

--

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Let's go fishing!

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: As many as you can afford.

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't worry about me! I'll just sit in the dark!

Q: How many Wisconsiners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ah, it's a piece of cake.
P: Cake? Who said cake?!

Q: How many Wisconsiners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: it's nothin'...
P: Muffin? Where?!

Q: 'Ow many co'neys do' i' ta' to cha' a li'bu'b?
A: whu'a blaa'my cha'ie do'at ha' 'o'o wi'e ca'is?

Q: How many Yekehs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1.0.
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Beanny
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How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Why should they? That's the hardware worker's job.
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