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Author Topic: What's the silliest thing a teacher's ever tried to tell you?
mr_porteiro_head
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Let me point out that there are Mormon beliefs which could be misconstrued (which is what I'm guessing Belle has done) to be pretty much what Belle said her teacher said.
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Scott R
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quote:
My 3rd grade teacher told us that Indians and Pilgrims had, "parties, and hung out with each other." I didnt learn about manifest destiny until 5+ years later.
Er... Manifest Destiny didn't come around until the 19th century-- a while after the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth. It was coined first in 1845...

But I think I know what you mean.

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blacwolve
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Would you mind explaining or giving me a link that explains?

I'm not challenging you, I just try to make it a point to understand Mormon beliefs since I interact with them here so frequently. And because, you know, it's interesting.

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JennaDean
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Yeah, mph, why don't you badly explain our beliefs so blacwolve can misinterpret them and think we're literally crazy? [Wink] (Sorry, couldn't resist, it seemed like such an interesting request.)

My 10th grade Honors Chem teacher should've retired LONG ago. She spent one whole class period teaching us how to properly turn the pages of the textbook. [Roll Eyes]

She did end up retiring halfway through the school year due to family issues, and we were taught by substitutes the rest of the year. Roughly half of this Honors class failed the minimum level skills test. (The "if you can't pass the minimum level you don't deserve to pass 10th grade" kind of test; honors kids usually skated through blindfolded.) Most of them took it again during the summer and passed, but a few failed the class. We were in shock. It was a bad year....

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romanylass
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quote:
Originally posted by Megan:
quote:
Originally posted by romanylass:
I had a high school teacher who insisted a student could not listen to music while studying and retain the subject matter. She went around the class and made each student repeat that individually ( except those she ended up sending to the office) [Wink]

If she was saying this because someone was listening to headphones in her class, I sympathize with her situation, even though I don't necessarily agree with that statement. Kids who listen to headphones while I'm teaching make me very, very angry.
No, not at all. She was lecturing on study skills. I had the nerve to say that I did study to music at home and if I had trouble remembering something, I would mentally replay the music I had been studying to and it would come to me.She did NOT like that.
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Megan
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quote:
Originally posted by Eduardo St. Elmo:
Tresopax: thank you for backing me up. I would only listen to music when the teacher was explaining things I already understood. Besides, I was sitting in the front row of the class and nobody was sitting next to me. In this way, none of the other students were adversely affected by my insolence. - Though it might have annoyed them that I could get away with it... [Big Grin]

The fact that you recognize it as insolence suggests that you understand that what you were doing was, in fact, inappropriate. In my class, I would ask you to remove the headphones. If you refused, I would ask you to leave. There's no reason you should get credit for attending a class in that situation. Headphones distract other students who are trying to pay attention. Particularly if it's in a college or university setting, if you're not going to pay attention in class, don't go. If there is an attendance policy, it's usually for a good reason, and you should pay attention. Even if you already think you know everything that's being taught (and I have to say, about half the time when students think that, they're dead wrong), it's still horribly rude to come into class and ignore the person who's up there teaching, having (hopefully) put some effort into creating an informative lesson plan. By doing so, you aren't fulfilling your part of the student-teacher bargain.

Edit: Ok, I agree, Romany, that's just silly. That's a useful memory device; I'd be encouraging that for all I was worth!

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TheGrimace
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highschool sociology teacher tried teaching us the following:

1) a mother abandoning her newborn child to die of exposure in a dumpster is a victimless crime (keep in mind that this man was a monk, though don't use this as ammo against Catholics, cause the rest of the monks were great)

2) that the JFK assassination was a conspiracy by all of these groups working together: The houston police department, the CIA, the FBI, the chicago mob, the KGB, the Cuban government, the secret service and the army (I think I may have left one group out, it's been a while)

Also had a "History of the Space Age" professor try to convince us that the russians developed spherical spacecraft and the Americans developed cone-shaped spacecraft not because of technical reasoning, but because of idealogical differences.

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A Rat Named Dog
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blackwolve, Mormons don't believe that salvation is a one-time event that guarantees a trip to heaven and renders all your future choices moot. That's actually one of our biggest disagreements with a certain brand of born-again Christian.

I think that mph was reacting to the idea that a religious belief made a person "literally crazy" because Mormons certainly believe things that to an outsider could be construed as similar — not in nature, but in degree — to the belief described.

But we definitely disagree with that particular doctrine.

Now, back to the subject at hand.

"The dark side of the moon receives no light from the sun."

The teacher then, at my request, attempted to demonstrate how this occurs during a solar eclipse, using a projector to represent the sun, a globe to represent the earth, and herself to represent the moon (when a ball failed to produce the resutls she wanted). The body contortions were hilarious.

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Sterling
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I had a teacher tell me every story has to have a point or moral. That little chestnut is a hindrance to me to this day, despite my knowing in my heart that it isn't so.

quote:
"I" before "E" except after "C", unless it says "ay" as in "neighbor" or "weigh".

I mean, that's just weird.

As every good scientist knows.

quote:
Let me point out that there are Mormon beliefs which could be misconstrued (which is what I'm guessing Belle has done) to be pretty much what Belle said her teacher said.
Given that she hasn't said the teacher was a Mormon, I don't think you can infer that.

And as she's already said that "literally" crazy may not be the proper term, I suggest you kindly leave the poor woman to her anecdote.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Given that she hasn't said the teacher was a Mormon, I don't think you can infer that.
I didn't assume that her teacher was Mormon. I assumed that Belle has misconstrued what her teacher, who I never thought was Mormon, actually said.

I know that Belle said that the "literally" crazy wasn't the best choice. I have mostly been responding to other people since then.

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Celaeno
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My third grade teacher told me that she cut off her entire thumb when she was a little girl. She bandanged it up, and every day she would peak under it. Before long, she could see her thumb starting to grow up. At this point in the story she held up her hand and wiggled her completely normal thumb at us.
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Sterling
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quote:
I didn't assume that her teacher was Mormon. I assumed that Belle has misconstrued what her teacher, who I never thought was Mormon, actually said.
It's certainly possible. But it's somewhat unkind to presume off the bat that the only point of view available (the giver's) of a harmless anecdote is wrong.
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littlemissattitude
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The silliest thing I ever heard come from a teacher's mouth was that "the aborigines live in Africa and the Pygmies live in Australia." That was in 10th grade, in my Bible as Literature class (yes, in the early 1970s, in a public high school).

But coming in very, very close was in an archaeology class at BYU, being taught by a grad student. It was an introductory survey, so the material was very basic. Well, one day the teacher was talking about the Stone Age, and gave the divisions as Paleolithic, Neolithic, and Mesolithic, in that order. Now, having been fascinated with archaeology since the age of about 7, I knew that wasn't right. But he never would admit that he had gotten it wrong, and even claimed that the textbook was wrong where it listed the order as Paleolithic, Mesolithic, and then Neolithic.

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BaoQingTian
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[aside]
Wow, my mom was an archeology major for a while at BYU in the early 70's- that's a crazy coincidence.
[/aside]

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SC Carver
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My brother came home from 2nd grade and swore his teacher taught them George Washington Shot Lincoln. We couldn't convince him other wise for about a week.
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MrSquicky
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quote:
But coming in very, very close was in an archaeology class at BYU, being taught by a grad student. It was an introductory survey, so the material was very basic. Well, one day the teacher was talking about the Stone Age, and gave the divisions as Paleolithic, Neolithic, and Mesolithic, in that order. Now, having been fascinated with archaeology since the age of about 7, I knew that wasn't right. But he never would admit that he had gotten it wrong, and even claimed that the textbook was wrong where it listed the order as Paleolithic, Mesolithic, and then Neolithic.
THat's even sillier when you consider that Paleo- means old, Meso- middle, and Neo- new.
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Seatarsprayan
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My 8th grade English teacher said there was only one kind of love. That the love between mother and child and man and wife and brother and sister was all the same thing.

Me, I think the Greeks had four different words for it for a reason. I know I sure don't love my wife the same way that I love my father.

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blacwolve
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quote:
Originally posted by JennaDean:
Yeah, mph, why don't you badly explain our beliefs so blacwolve can misinterpret them and think we're literally crazy? [Wink] (Sorry, couldn't resist, it seemed like such an interesting request.)

Right, the reason I ask someone if they will explain their beliefs to me is because I want to be able to misinterpret them. [Roll Eyes]

Or possibly, I could be trying to learn about them in greater detail so that I won't misinterpret them.

But why go for the former statement when the latter statement provides for so many opportunities to feel abused?

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blacwolve
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quote:
Originally posted by A Rat Named Dog:
blackwolve, Mormons don't believe that salvation is a one-time event that guarantees a trip to heaven and renders all your future choices moot. That's actually one of our biggest disagreements with a certain brand of born-again Christian.

I think that mph was reacting to the idea that a religious belief made a person "literally crazy" because Mormons certainly believe things that to an outsider could be construed as similar — not in nature, but in degree — to the belief described.


Right, I get that. But then mph said that:
quote:
Let me point out that there are Mormon beliefs which could be misconstrued (which is what I'm guessing Belle has done) to be pretty much what Belle said her teacher said.
Which prompted my next question because I am, in general, interested in Christian theology. My second question was completely unrelated to the rest of the thread, and rested purely on my own curiosity about Mormon beliefs.
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BlackBlade
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Tresopax/Eduardo St. Elmo : Part of being a student is showing due respect to the teacher as a student. When I already know the material I think about what I am doing and whether or not I can do it and still pay attention to the teacher.

If the teacher cannot reliably call on me to assist with the lesson i.e, ask me a question, or request my opinion, then I need to do something else. Listening to music almost certainly IMO makes you unable to hear what the teacher is saying and therefore unable to assist in making the classroom a place of learning. Perhaps you would be more able to explain a concept to your peers then your teacher who is usually a bit older than you.

Besides all that, what is the point of being a classroom if you are not there to interact in the learning process? Its why I many of my college professors. They do not take attendance, and if I expect to do well I have to attend lecture, pay attention, and I am tested on whether or not I know the material. They also grade me on class participation. Teachers should IN AN IDEAL WORLD should not have to do all the explaining or teaching, I think students are an integral part of a teachers list of tools for educating.

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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by blacwolve:
quote:
Originally posted by A Rat Named Dog:
blackwolve, Mormons don't believe that salvation is a one-time event that guarantees a trip to heaven and renders all your future choices moot. That's actually one of our biggest disagreements with a certain brand of born-again Christian.

I think that mph was reacting to the idea that a religious belief made a person "literally crazy" because Mormons certainly believe things that to an outsider could be construed as similar — not in nature, but in degree — to the belief described.


Right, I get that. But then mph said that:
quote:
Let me point out that there are Mormon beliefs which could be misconstrued (which is what I'm guessing Belle has done) to be pretty much what Belle said her teacher said.
Which prompted my next question because I am, in general, interested in Christian theology. My second question was completely unrelated to the rest of the thread, and rested purely on my own curiosity about Mormon beliefs.

Sorry to hijack the thread on another off topic.

Mormons do not believe in "Once you are saved, you can't be lost."

But they do believe that a man or woman through a lifetime of diligence can obtain a state where they literally overcome the temptations of the devil and have absolutely NO desire to ever sin. Such people are capable of frequent communion with God or his messengers and they can have their "Calling and Election made sure." Its not so much that their given a "Get out of jail free card" as a "God who knows everything knows these people will never sin again."

Its an EXTREMELY rare thing, and it is not frequently mentioned in Mormon theology. Its almost entirely a personal matter, so you cannot really lay out the steps or estimate if one COULD reach such a state, much less WHEN it would happen.

Thats the closest thing I could think of in Mormon theology that approaches the idea that somebody could be saved from all their sins the rest of their life.

I will note that some Mormons believe that if somebody has had their "Calling and Election Made Sure." If they do sin after that point, they will be forgiven by default. But I have YET to hear any Prophet, Apostle say that that is so.

I'm done hijacking! I promise!

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mr_porteiro_head
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I was just referring to the fact that we believe in baptism for the remission of sins, and wasn't thinking about any of the relatively obscure Mormon ideas you just posted.
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blacwolve
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BlackBlade- Thank you. [Smile]
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Primal Curve
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Oh, if I could only find my notes from my junior and senior year "Bible Classes." I went to a private christian school. The person who taught (and still teaches) those classes was as much an ultra-right-wing nutjob as you can imagine. The "I'm in the NRA and I vote" sticker on his classroom door was almost a warning sign. True, being in the NRA in and of itself does not constitute nut-jobbery, but its prominence on the door of a teacher who is supposed to be leading us in scriptural learning is certainly a red flag to me.

Then there was the shell-casing from a WWII tank shell, the maces and swords mounted on the walls and other, conspicuous displays of military paraphernalia. I can't remember most of the other stuff in the class. He did have his own TV and VCR in the classroom because he regularly showed us videos from such classic programming as "Sightings," "Unsolved Mysteries," and "Ripley's Believe it or Not" to show the spiritual and demonic workings of the world.

The senior year class was "Marriage and the Family." You can imagine what kind of exciting things we learned about married life. One thing was that it was a bad idea to have the woman in the family work. He forbade his spouse from working anything but a part-time job at the school. I think it had something to do with infidelity or something.

The only shining moment I can remember (apart from the amusing videos) was one two-week period our senior year where he read a story about some strange goings on in Thomas Bay, Alaska. We had finished our regular curriculum early, so he decided to regale us with the tale. For all of my old Bible teacher's craziness, the man was a gifted orator and could really read a story. He had us gripped from almost the first sentence.

I'll have to see if my sister still has her notes.

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vonk
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"After the nuclear war I'll be alive long after you're all dead!" - 8th grade Algebra teacher (said after some jerk in class made a joke about the teachers weight)

Teacher - "How are you today?"
Me - "Ugh, didn't sleep well last night."
T - "Oh, were the aliens talking to you again?"
M - "Uhh, umm, yeah, uh, ok, I'm gonna go sit down."

"Aliens suck the energy out of people while they're at concerts. That's why you're always so tired at the end." - Creative Writing teacher. Well, she certainly was creative.

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Chris Bridges
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With some rare and spectacular exceptions, I've never gotten on well with my English teachers. I spent one year coming up with exceptions to all of the teacher's spelling "rules," without much effort. "I before E except after C" was an easy one...

"What about 'their'?"
"Well, the 'ay' words like 'neighbor' and 'weigh' use different--"
"Like 'neither' and 'sheik'?"
"Those are--"
"Science?"
"When the verbs are in different syllables, there's a different--"
"Weird?"
"That spelling is disputed, actually--"
"'Deity'? 'Fallacies'? 'Beige'? 'Eight'? 'Seize'?"

I wasn't a teacher's pet that year. I wasn't trying to be a pain in the ass -- not completely -- as much as get her to stop teaching rules that would cause as much harm as good in the long run. When there are as many exceptions as examples, it's time to give the rule a rest.
Thing is, I was intensely interested in why English has so many different and conflicting rules -- still am -- and I think bringing in just a little of that to prove that there are reasons for every one of those annoying little inconsistencies in our amazing polyglot bastard child of a langauge would help a lot.

[ September 11, 2006, 05:44 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]

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EricJamesStone
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My 7th-grade science teacher:

"Inside the sun, hydrogen atoms combine to form helium and produce energy. Then the helium atoms split apart to form hydrogen and the process repeats itself in a never-ending cycle."

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Belle
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quote:
Why? If it isn't impacting his learning or the learning of the other students, what benefit is there for lowering a student's grade for wearing an earphone?
Because it's rude and disrespectful. If I'm a teacher, I think the least I shoud expect from students is that for the hour they're in my class, they give me their attention.
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King of Men
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I once had a teacher tell me that if you put a pot of water on the stove, and boil it, the room will get colder.
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Icarus
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When I was in seventh grade, my math teacher, in the unit about area, introduced the class to the concept of π. Because my father had been a math teacher, I was already familiar with this number (and actually rather fascinated by it). So I raised my hand and mentioned that π, written as a decimal, neither repeats nor terminates (I'm sure I used a different word, of course). Other students asked him if that was true, to which he responded, "See for yourself: π equals 22 ÷ 7." [Roll Eyes] The other students quickly found that this in fact repeated after 7 places, and ragged on my for being full of it. When I told my father, he was incensed, and the next day I brought in his copy of CRC's Handbook of Chemistry and Physics, which had, in an appendix, π calculated to the first 1000 decimal places.
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Elmer's Glue
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On the first day in my government class, the teacher was making some point about how we should "be willing to risk failure in this class". Then he asked me about it and I pointed to the bumper sticker he had on a filing cabinet which said "Failure is not an option."
He didn't seem to like that I was calling him a hypocrit, so he sort of ignored my point.

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Tinros
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Oh geez. I've had some crazy teachers- crazy in a bad way, and crazy in fun ways. Examples:

8th grade CP Algebra 1: My teacher did things like play steel drums for the class, hand out licorice because "it's made from the bark of trees, and that makes you smarter"(I've never heard that one anywhere else), and insist that the "mullet" is NOT a type of hairstyle.

11th grade Junior History(World History): this guy was an idiot. He pronounced nuclear as "nucular", and couldn't spell "President"(I think he wrote it as "Prezidant".). He also told us, that in a certain battle in WWII, we sent over 10,000 soldiers, and 35,000 of those same 10,000 died. Dead serious- it was on a test that way. I put the correct answer- the one the book had- but he insisted that we "weren't learning what the book taught, we were learning what HE taught." He, himself, never read the book. I had to take it to the head of the history department to get my grade changed(there were enough errors on the test that putting the correct answers lowered my grade by 10%, and lowered my overall GPA by a considerable amount.) This man still teaches there, and is the wrestling coach.

10th grade creative writing and Honors English 2 teacher: this lady was FUN. Yeah, she was a little crazy, but that's part of the fun. Example: we joked around a lot that her daughter, 3, was possesed. Whilst attempting to "read" a picture book to her mother, her eyes glazed over and she started speaking in some unknown language, ending with "And the people will rise up...". No joke- it was all on video. Afterwards, the girl went completely back to normal, like nothing had happened. Fun classes though.

And the list goes on. For the most part, my teachers either knew what they were doing, or were complete idiots. I swear I've had teachers with a reading level below the grade they were teaching. But, oh well. I delt with it, and now that I'm in college, hopefully that will change.

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Nell Gwyn
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My reading teacher in 6th and 7th grade felt the need to advise us that if we were ever lost in a desert, and we knew we were going to die, that we should make sure to die face-down so the vultures won't pick out our eyes and our bodies will still be identifiable. He was definitely a bit of a character - another time he randomly claimed to be a Civil War veteran.
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Ginol_Enam
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My kindergarten teacher compared my free-hand drawing of a tree to another student's traced drawing of a race car.

My first third grade teacher threw an eraser at me (she so got fired for that).

MY 7th grade science teacher would go on and on about her kid, who was pretty frail and ill and would get hurt a lot.

My 8th grade science teacher threw away a bunch of students' project away in mid-completion 'cause he got angry with the class.

My 11th grade Latin teacher said she would give extra credit if anyone went to see Troy, but then refused to hand the extra credit out to the students who paid money to see it because it was rated R.

My 12th grade English teacher said that The Lord of the Rings had no literary merit.

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blacwolve
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Just out of curiosity, how do teachers feel about students crocheting or knitting in their classes (if it doesn't impair their ability to participate or learn)?

I ask because I bite my nails obsessively and for a few semesters I was bringing my crocheting to class in order to spare my nails. I stopped when it was pointed out that some teachers might view it as disrespectful.

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Hank
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Teacher: Some religions think women aren't as good as men, like the amish and mormons.

Me: Um, I happen to BE mormon, and that's not true.

She then ARGUED with me for about five minutes in front of the class. What is with teachers who think the middle of a lesson is a good place to spout of their religious views? Even if I agreed with the views. WAY inappropriate in public school.

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Shigosei
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I have to say that many college professors I've had don't seem to hold up their end of the student-teacher relationship. Given what I've observed in school, the teacher has a huge impact on the students' attitude. A teacher who actually teaches the material instead of telling us what's in the book or reading from a powerpoint slide is going to get a much better reaction from students.

If my attendance is enforced through pop quizzes or by tying it to my grade, I have absolutely no problem sitting in the back and doing crossword puzzles while half paying attention to see if the professors says anything important. This strategy (along with outright skipping of useless lectures that don't enforce attendance) hasn't caused me any problems. I do my best to be discreet to avoid causing a distraction or undue emotional distress on the part of the lecturer. I don't think my obligation to respect a person extends to giving them my full attention for an hour an a half twice a week so they can tell me something I already know or could easily look up in half the time.

On the original topic of the thread: My art teacher in junior high claimed that measurements over the past few centuries had proven that the speed of light is slowing down and that there is a vertical asymptote at 4004 BC, when the speed of light was infinite. Naturally, this proved that the world was created in 4004 BC.

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Belle
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quote:
Just out of curiosity, how do teachers feel about students crocheting or knitting in their classes (if it doesn't impair their ability to participate or learn)?

I'm not a teacher yet, but I would find it extraordinarily disrespectful and would forbid it in my classroom if I had the power to.
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rivka
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blacwolve, I would discuss it with teachers beforehand. If framed as a nail-biting antidote, you might get an ok. (I would probably have said no, but I'm mean. [Wink] )
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Mr.Funny
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Well, my calculus teacher was talking about infinite series, and how they continued on forever, from nsub0 to nsubi. He mentioned at some point the ith term. "Yes, there really is an 'ith term'. You know, like 'ith ith baby!'" The entire class found this to be quite amusing, as this is a normally fairly strict and no-nonsense teacher.
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AvidReader
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On every syllabus my mom got for her education classes: "Remember, effort does not guarantee a passing grade."

My mom was complaining to me that if she said anything like that to her students she'd get fired. Nice that they can do it to the teachers, huh?

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Megan
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I like that phrase quite a bit. I think it should be said much more often than it is. I have said things like, "Any grade you get in my class is your grade. You earn it, whether it's an A, a C, or an F."
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Dead_Horse
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My second grade teacher insisted there were no numbers less than zero. I think that was just so as not to confuse the kids whose fathers weren't engineers who taught their kids college level math.

The mean part was, she wrote a bunch of subtraction equations on the board and assigned each to a student. I'm pretty sure she picked me for the only one that resulted in a negative number on purpose just so she could tell me I was wrong.

I didn't believe anything else she taught that year.

She also wouldn't let me write in normal sized cursive, but insisted that we print on the huge lined paper with the dotted line for the lowercase characters.

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Nighthawk
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I've posted this many a time, but for those that haven't seen it I figured I'd point it out again because it's appropriate: The Mathematics of Sand
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
If my attendance is enforced through pop quizzes or by tying it to my grade, I have absolutely no problem sitting in the back and doing crossword puzzles while half paying attention to see if the professors says anything important.
quote:
I don't think my obligation to respect a person extends to giving them my full attention for an hour an a half twice a week so they can tell me something I already know or could easily look up in half the time.
Amen.
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Carrie
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High school guidance counselor (not the same as a teacher, but it fits): "This is an impressive PSAT score. I'm not sure what you plan on doing with it, since women have no place in higher education..."

When I feel like quitting my current degree program, I remember him telling me that - and I get inspired to continue, just to prove him wrong.

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MightyCow
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I had a HS Honors History teacher who was a real hardass. He actually forced us to learn and only gave good grades to very concise, well written essays. I know that I did much better in college because he made us work so hard in his class.

He also liked to yell at us after we turned in a bunch of sloppy essays. On day, as he was ranting he said, "None of you are paying attention to me, and that's why you're getting bad grades on your papers. If I tell you I'm God, you'd better write that in your essays!"

I laughed out loud at that, and the entire class turned and looked at me with horror in their eyes.

I apologized for laughing, and he decided to end the rant and get back to work. I think every single person in class approached me later that day and told me they though he was going to either explode or throw me out the window.

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Tresopax
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quote:
My first third grade teacher threw an eraser at me (she so got fired for that).
She seriously got fired just for that? I've been in several classes where the teacher threw eraser to get students' attention. It certainly doesn't seem like a fireable offense, unless they're getting violent about it or something...

quote:
Besides all that, what is the point of being a classroom if you are not there to interact in the learning process?
I'm pretty sure many students - at least those who would wear headphones while the teacher is talking - would rather not be in the classroom if they had the choice. [Wink]
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Blaine
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My English professor told me, "You show great promise [as a writer]."

Haha! Boy, did I prove him wrong.

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mr_porteiro_head
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One of my honors English teachers told me that I wasn't smart enough to be in the honors program and had me tested for a learning disability because my spelling was so poor.

She really had me convinced that I was a dunce. It took the next two years of excellent teachers to convince me otherwise.

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