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Author Topic: What's the silliest thing a teacher's ever tried to tell you?
Shigosei
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[Frown] Deficiency in one particular area doesn't imply stupidity!
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mr_porteiro_head
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Yup. I got tested for learning learning disabilities, and I was sent back with essentially the message "What idiot sent this guy in to be tested for a learning disability?"
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Sharpie
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quote:
Originally posted by blacwolve:
Just out of curiosity, how do teachers feel about students crocheting or knitting in their classes (if it doesn't impair their ability to participate or learn)?

I ask because I bite my nails obsessively and for a few semesters I was bringing my crocheting to class in order to spare my nails. I stopped when it was pointed out that some teachers might view it as disrespectful.

When one of my sons was in fourth grade, he was in probably the toughest stage of his Tourette's. He had a lot of motor tics which could have been very distracting, but he was also learning -- we were all learning -- that substitutions worked sometimes. He wouldn't have tried crocheting, but his teacher (against my uncharitable first impressions, I would add) was wonderfully tolerant of his trials and errors. It helped that he was so obviously NOT trying to "get attention with his antics" but was trying to be less of a distraction to his classmates and teacher. She even tolerated silly putty, against classroom rules. She may have even suggested it. If he could keep something in his hands during "lecture" time, whatever that is called in fourth grade, it helped enormously.

(Some of this was covered under his IEP and section 504. I don't think there is a section of section 504 for nailbiting [Smile] .)

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PSI Teleport
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"You don't have to understand it, you just have to know it."

--

My ninth grade algebra teacher used to call my friend her "Italian Stallion". He was actually Thai.

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Icarus
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head:
quote:
If my attendance is enforced through pop quizzes or by tying it to my grade, I have absolutely no problem sitting in the back and doing crossword puzzles while half paying attention to see if the professors says anything important.
quote:
I don't think my obligation to respect a person extends to giving them my full attention for an hour an a half twice a week so they can tell me something I already know or could easily look up in half the time.
Amen.

I could agree with this if the teacher had a choice in the matter, as in university classes. But in k-12 classes, it's not the teacher's fault the state forces you to attend school up to a certain age, and the teacher has only a very limited ability to affect your placement. So if, in your pique at being in a class you consider beneath your abilities, you take it out on the teacher (who also has no choice on whether or not to take or enforce attendance) by showing disrespect, than I really think that's out of line.
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Icarus
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(If you don't want to be in my class, believe me, I'd rather you weren't there as well.)
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mr_porteiro_head
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In K-12, the student has as little choice in the matter as the teacher does.

But yeah, I was talking about university courses.

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Xavier
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I'm afraid I have done things my teachers likely took as a sign of disrespect. It makes me sad to realize that, but if I were to do it over again, I'm not sure what I would do differently.

For instance, in my 11th grade global history class, which was my first class of the day, I sat in the very far back corner. The teacher would turn off the light and teach from notes on an overhead projector.

I'd immediately put my head down and fall asleep. I'd usually wake up when the bell rang at the end of class (though once I didn't, and woke up to an empty classroom *wince*).

That was most likely highly disrespectful, and I'd imagine the teacher noticed and didn't appreciate it. However, I ended up getting a 98% in his class, and was the only student at the school to get every single question correct on the history New York State Regents exam that year. (though my score was not 100%, based on the essays. At that time I was not a very good essay writer.)

I knew the material. Better than any student at the school, in fact. Without listening to the lectures. So I chose to spend that time catching up on some sleep (I had pretty bad insomnia back then), and while I feel bad about that, it's not like I interrupted his ability to teach.

[Dont Know]

Edit: I just now went and looked at the 2006 global history regents exam, and I'm not surprised I aced it. Pretty simple stuff.

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katharina
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In seventh grade science class, I read a book instead of paying attention to the teacher with her notes. I did fine on the tests, so I thought it was fine.

Until my mother came to parent teacher conference. Poor mommy. The teacher told her how I had cost the teacher a major bonus because of my reading - the evaluator took that as proof of a lack of classroom management and marked her down. The teacher told my mother with me in the room and said it was my fault. This made me start crying.

I wasn't trying to be disrespectful when I was reading - I was bored out of my mind. I already knew the material. I wasn't talking to anyone else, and I sat in the back. I think making my mother feel responsible was a crummy thing to do.

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vonk
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I've had teachers say things like "We'll have an evaluator in the class tomorrow, so let's all pretend I'm a good teacher." I'm pretty sure they were joking, but we did usually get coaching on how to act while the evaluator was in the classroom.
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divaesefani
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After watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving in my 3rd grade class, I told my teacher that the guy who fell overboard was my 10th great grandfather. She told me that he was not related to me. She apologized the next day when I brought in a family tree and proved her wrong.

My 8th grade science teacher told the class that there isn't flouride in the water in Utah because Mormons don't believe in flouride.

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Dan_raven
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Do school nurses count?

Actual convesation:

Female friend of mine went in bothered by severe headache. The nurse was called into the classroom where the girl had such a big headache she was almost in tears.

My friend, "Ever since I got these new glasses, I've been getting headaches."

Nurse, "hmm, could you be pregnant?"

Friend, "What? No. I think its my glasses."

Nurse, "Pregnancy can give you headaches."

Friend, "Well I don't think that's the case here."

Nurse, "Are you sure, when was your last period."

The rest of the class was silent, staring. My friend was bright red, but whether from embarrasment or anger, I couldn't tell.

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Omega M.
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For some reason I always laugh when I think about this because of the whiny, desperate tone of voice of the teacher, even though what he said wasn't stupid.

Teacher puts on an overhead projector a picture of a large number of tiny dots, scattered somewhat less than uniformly. Teacher: "This represents the number of nuclear weapons in the world today." Teacher puts a quarter on the picture so that it covers a small fraction of the dots. Teacher: "This quarter covers the number of nuclear weapons in the world in 1945." Pause. Teacher: "Do you know what that MEANS, people?"

Then we watch a video of those experiments in which people are made to "kill" people with electric shocks.

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Tresopax
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quote:
The teacher told her how I had cost the teacher a major bonus because of my reading - the evaluator took that as proof of a lack of classroom management and marked her down.
It sounds like this was not your fault, but rather the evaluator's, for using unfair criteria to judge the teacher.

Then again, I'm not sure how you can judge a teacher, other than by the degree to which students are better off at the end of the year than they were at the beginning. And how happy the students are along the way.

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littlemissattitude
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quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Horse:
She also wouldn't let me write in normal sized cursive, but insisted that we print on the huge lined paper with the dotted line for the lowercase characters.

Yeah. Been there, done that. When I was in third grade, my teacher wouldn't allow me to write in cursive (which I'd known how to do since kindergarten or first grade) because "we don't teach that until the middle of the year." [Roll Eyes]

********

In a community college class one evening, we were treated to a ten-minute screaming tirade from the instructor that included the F-word about every other word because a student walked into class late. Now, I can understand a teacher being upset when someone arrives late to class. However, the student wasn't that late, as the teacher hadn't actually started class yet - he might have been thirty seconds to a minute late. As far as I'm concerned, that was a completely inappropriate reaction.

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Shigosei
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quote:
I could agree with this if the teacher had a choice in the matter, as in university classes. But in k-12 classes, it's not the teacher's fault the state forces you to attend school up to a certain age, and the teacher has only a very limited ability to affect your placement. So if, in your pique at being in a class you consider beneath your abilities, you take it out on the teacher (who also has no choice on whether or not to take or enforce attendance) by showing disrespect, than I really think that's out of line.
Icarus, I was pretty much speaking of my university classes. Most of my high school teachers were excellent and I never even felt the need to do anything else in class. Also, keep in mind that I'm not trying to take anything out on my professors. I'm trying to relieve boredom. I'll admit that I'm annoyed when a teacher does a poor job, but I'm certainly not going to attempt to punish them for it during class (they'll be getting a pretty blunt end-of-the-year evaluation, though). Additionally, keep in mind that it's usually not just me who's bored. The class isn't being taught below my level. It's being taught below everyone's level (for example, the senior biomechanics class that consisted of high school physics with body parts instead of beams and levers).

I hope those of you who are educators don't see this as a rant against all teachers. I have a lot of respect for those who do their job well. I suspect I'd be a lousy teacher, which is why I hope I'll never be a TA--I pity anyone who'd have to be my student! Nonetheless, I am feeling right now like a lot of my time in college has been wasted, and it's very frustrating. I know that some of it's probably curriculum requirements imposed on the professors by the Powers That Be. Still, I'm convinced that there are very few subjects which are inherently boring. I used to enjoy school. Alas, college has done a lot to kill my love of learning.

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TheGrimace
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Not exactly a teacher saying it, but the student health office on campus was renound to asking everyone who came whether or not they were pregnant (no matter what they were there for or what gender they were)

case in point: my best friend Will (a guy) walks in because one of his contacts had slid back behind his eye (or something approximating that feeling) so he just wanted someone to help him with a Q-tip or the like. The person starts asking him the whole barrage of form questions starting with "are you pregnant"

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TomDavidson
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You know, Dan, I wish we had known that pregnancy could cause headache. Years ago, I took Christy to the doctor because she had a headache that was so bad that she was seeing stars. The doctor basically shone a light in her eyes for an hour, gave her a MRI, and sent her home with two Advil and a lecture about how she should be trying to destress.

It wasn't until two months later that we learned she was pregnant.

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Jeni
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"Stop trying to understand it and just memorize it."
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vonk
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If we're going to bring in university health centers, then let me tell you about the University of Houston.

My roommate my freshman year went in complaining of excruciating stomach pains. Without much checking they declared that he required an emergency appendectomy and called an ambulance to take him to the nearest hospital. They had him laid out on the operating table, knocked out, about ready to do the operation when the surgeon decided to do a routine check, you know, just to make sure. It turned out he had an ulcer. Insurance paid for the hospital, but my friend still had to pay for the ambulance, about $300.

Another time, one of my friends went in complaining of something or other. They did an x-ray and determined that she had two uteruses (uteri?). Yeah, two. She said "no, no I don't." They said "yes, yes you do." She said, "has this ever happened before?" They said "nope, you're the first ever." She went to another doctor. Turned out they just double exposed the negative.

I have heard countless other stories about that "health" center, of varying degrees of absurdity, but I can't recall them now. The only thing that place was good for was getting a massive supply of codeine cough syrup, which I promise we only used when necessary...

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Shigosei:
I used to enjoy school. Alas, college has done a lot to kill my love of learning.

Sounds like you're at the wrong college. While I did take a number of classes like that, they were in the vast minority -- and primarily classes that fulfilled my breadth requirements.

quote:
Originally posted by TheGrimace:
Not exactly a teacher saying it, but the student health office on campus was renowned to asking everyone who came whether or not they were pregnant (no matter what they were there for or what gender they were)

Are there college student health centers that DON'T do this? Seriously, every one I know of does.
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Shigosei
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rivka, I actually wonder if it's a departmental problem. I liked my electrical circuits class, and my biology classes, and my physics class. I'm actually planning to go for a science PhD rather than an engineering PhD because of my experiences. I also won't be staying at ASU. Of course, I wouldn't be staying in the same place anyway, as I've heard that's frowned upon in the sciences. But yeah, I like it here except for my professors.

Also, the health center here doesn't usually ask if I'm pregnant.

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Icarus
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I don't recall ever being asked if I was pregnant.

-o-

I'm sorry you're having that experience, shig. In my case, it was the opposite. High school was unpelasant and demeaning, and college was the most wonderful educational experience.

[Frown]

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BlackBlade
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College High Level American History Professor:

"All those people who talk about America being involved in some Iran/Contra affair are just conspiracy mongers who are trying to bring the country down."

I tried to explain that there is more than enough evidence and that the government admitted to it, but that still did not convince him.

----

At a Lutheran Private school, my gymnastics instructor informed us that all of our tournaments that year were on sunday. I informed him after class that it was my belief that performing in sports events was not a proper use of the sabbath and that I would be unable to attend. He said that that was fine. I asked him all year to try to hold an event on saturday as it was hard for me to train and see all my friends earning medals and trophies but I could not participate. He said he would do what he could but nothing happened.

End of the year rolled around and he announced the gymnastics team was going to have a pizza party and promptly handed out everyones invitation. I did not receive one and I asked him why after class his response:

"You did not show enough support for the team because you did not attend any tournaments, so you are not invited."

It was just a pizza party I suppose but to my 7 year old self I was crushed. Sometimes I wish I had continued to do gymnastics.

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Belle
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BlackBlade, did the coach have the choice? At our gym, our coach refuses to hold our meet on Sunday, but we only host one meet. he has no control over when the other meets are scheduled and in fact, we've got several held on Sunday. Usually a younger class like a 7 year old class would likely be on a Sunday, too, because those classes don't have as high enrollment as the other ones, so they hold the bigger classes on Saturdays and put the younger kids on Sunday. That's how it looks to me, anyway.

So, while it doesn't sound fair you weren't invited to the pizza party, your gymnastics instructor may not have had control over when the meets were held and been unable to change them.

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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by Belle:
BlackBlade, did the coach have the choice? At our gym, our coach refuses to hold our meet on Sunday, but we only host one meet. he has no control over when the other meets are scheduled and in fact, we've got several held on Sunday. Usually a younger class like a 7 year old class would likely be on a Sunday, too, because those classes don't have as high enrollment as the other ones, so they hold the bigger classes on Saturdays and put the younger kids on Sunday. That's how it looks to me, anyway.

So, while it doesn't sound fair you weren't invited to the pizza party, your gymnastics instructor may not have had control over when the meets were held and been unable to change them.

I certainly don't hold it against him for being unable to change the meets. But certainly he could empathize his inability to change the dates with my inability to reject my beliefs.

To say nothing of the fact it was a CHRISTIAN private school. You would think sabbath observance wouldnt be an alien idea.

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blacwolve
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quote:
Originally posted by rivka:


quote:
Originally posted by TheGrimace:
Not exactly a teacher saying it, but the student health office on campus was renowned to asking everyone who came whether or not they were pregnant (no matter what they were there for or what gender they were)

Are there college student health centers that DON'T do this? Seriously, every one I know of does.
I had to fight our student health office to get them to give me a pregnancy test.
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rivka
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quote:
But yeah, I like it here except for my professors.
Ouch. [Frown]

quote:
Also, the health center here doesn't usually ask if I'm pregnant.
quote:
I had to fight our student health office to get them to give me a pregnancy test.
Ok, so there are some. Good to know. [Wink]
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littlemissattitude
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quote:
Originally posted by BlackBlade:
To say nothing of the fact it was a CHRISTIAN private school. You would think sabbath observance wouldnt be an alien idea.

You would think. On the other hand...you would think a lot of things of a Christian school that might not be particularly true. I atteneded a private Christian university for my upper division work. So, one day I was sitting in a class on Christianity and the Non-Christian World, and the professor asked if someone could quote John 3:16 (one of the most basic scriptures for most Christians I've ever known). In a class of about twenty, most of whom professed to be active, believing, practicing Christians, I...the raised-but-not-actively-practicing Christian...was the only one who could recite "For God so loved the world..." That pretty much floored me.
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Belle
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My daughter attended a ballet school that was part of a large church ministry and even though the ballet school was considered part of the church they held their recital on a Sunday and refused to let one girl, whose father was a pastor and who forbid her to dance at a Sunday recital, to be part of any of the end of the year celebrations.

I certainly didn't agree with the, but like lma, I think you'd be surprised what some Christian schools think is okay.

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Nighthawk
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quote:
Originally posted by Icarus:
I don't recall ever being asked if I was pregnant.

I have, at Florida International University.

I was also asked by the University of Miami to show "proof of birth." Those were the exact words they used in their request, and "I'm standing here, aren't I?" isn't enough of an answer.

Then again, they very nearly cancelled my classes because I failed to pay my balance due in time: $0.87.

But I digress...

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CaySedai
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vonk: there is such a thing as a double uterus. I worked with a woman who had that - the reason I heard about it was because she was pregnant and the subject came up in conversation.

But, yeah, your friend was misdiagnosed in a big way.

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JennaDean
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quote:
So, one day I was sitting in a class on Christianity and the Non-Christian World, and the professor asked if someone could quote John 3:16 (one of the most basic scriptures for most Christians I've ever known). In a class of about twenty, most of whom professed to be active, believing, practicing Christians, I...the raised-but-not-actively-practicing Christian...was the only one who could recite "For God so loved the world..." That pretty much floored me.
Well, I could quote that one just by hearing "John 3:16" - but there aren't many verses I could quote just by hearing the chapter-and-verse reference. If somebody started me off, I could quote them. So in their defense, maybe some of your colleagues knew the verse but didn't know the reference?

(Incidentally, the reason I know the reference is because I asked my parents why I always saw people holding up signs saying "John 3:16" at baseball games. Otherwise I wouldn't know the reference either. I learned the verse, but I didn't necessarily concentrate real hard on what book it was in.)

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dkw
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I agree with Jenna. Knowing the content of the verse is foundational. Knowing it by the referent "John 3:16" is almost more cultural than religious.
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Tresopax
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quote:
In a class of about twenty, most of whom professed to be active, believing, practicing Christians, I...the raised-but-not-actively-practicing Christian...was the only one who could recite "For God so loved the world..." That pretty much floored me.
I'm not sure being an active, believing, practicing Christian necessarily involves being able to quote Bible verses. [Wink]
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El JT de Spang
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No one said that. But for a class of twenty not to be able to quote the most famous verse in all christianity is telling, I'd say.
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katharina
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quote:
to quote the most famous verse in all christianity
Christianity is really big. Not all countries and types focus on that verse. I'm not surprised - I mean, religous knowledge is a very local method. People learn it the vast majority of time from their families and from local churches. Not everyone focuses on that one verse specifically since there are lots of places that speak of the purpose of Christ.
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BlackBlade
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If the teacher had lead the class by about 6 words, THEN it would have been a bit more telling.

Its nice to know I was not the only one.

It was kinda wierd to see a sort of movie adaptation of the same problem when I saw Chariots of Fire.

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MyrddinFyre
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I went to years of catechism (CCD) and I had no idea what that line was ('til I Googled it). I don't believe we were taught a single line of the Bible beyond the book of Genesis. We focused more on stories and characters which, while more fun, didn't give me any good sense of what Catholocism was about. Our teachers struggled to explain things like the Holy Spirit in their own words to us kids.
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Icarus
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It may be the most famous verse in mainline protestantism but not necessarily to all Christians. Catholicism, for instance, focuses much less on chapter and verse memorization--on scripture memorization at all, I'd say. I know the content of that particular verse because I looked it up after seeing it in football games so often, but otherwise I wouldn't. I know very little scripture by heart, and I went to catechism through sixth grade, Jesuit school from 7th to 12th grade, a Dominican university, I was an associate (pre-novice) in the Jesuit order for two years, and I taught catechism. (and I have read the entire Bible.) I am quite sure you could stump me with Bible verses if you really wanted to (that is, if you are one of those people who likes to memorize them; I actually would say that I do know the bible better than the average American agnostic).
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Eaquae Legit
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"Buddhists do not believe the same things Christians believe." -- While technically true, does this really need saying in a second year uni religion class?

"'Salvation' comes from a Greek word meaning 'to be made whole.'" -- This from the same prof, during the same lecture. During the same lecture, I might add, when I had an entire article devoted to medieval Latin word formation and creation, including, you guessed it, the word salvation.

I didn't bother challenging him on the "salvation" issue, seeing as I'd spent the first 20 minutes of class challenging him on his "MLA" citation guide - I double and triple checked, it wasn't MLA (nor APA, nor Chicago, nor any other standard I could find).

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dkw
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quote:
"'Salvation' comes from a Greek word meaning 'to be made whole.'" -- This from the same prof, during the same lecture. During the same lecture, I might add, when I had an entire article devoted to medieval Latin word formation and creation, including, you guessed it, the word salvation.
Your teacher was not wrong. The latin "salvare" is a church translation of the greek "soteria".
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JennaDean
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quote:
It may be the most famous verse in mainline protestantism but not necessarily to all Christians.
You have a point. I'd bet a lot of Mormons would be more familiar with James 1:5 than with John 3:16.
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katharina
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I didn't learn John 3:16 until I was 21. I did, however, learn 2 Nephe 25:26 years and years earlier
quote:
And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

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aragorn64
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Chemistry teacher: "The law of conservation of mass and energy states that they can be neither created nor destroyed."

Me: "Um, what about nuclear physics, e=mc^2, and all that stuff? Aren't they technically interchangeable?"

Teacher: "Well you are right, but since those things don't affect us we don't worry about them."

Me: "..."

ALSO:

My English teacher in tenth grade told us, rather vehemently, that mystery/science fiction/fantasy books hold no value. (Yes, I know that's a rather common one.)

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Jon Boy
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My chemistry teacher told us that plasma is energy. I think he's watched a few too many episodes of Star Trek.
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aragorn64
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Well, technically all matter IS energy, to the best of our current knowledge.

But it sounds like that wasn't what you're teacher meant. ^_^

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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
My chemistry teacher told us that plasma is energy. I think he's watched a few too many episodes of Star Trek.

You're both wrong, its toxic and it must be VENTED! Star Trek discovered that decades ago!
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blacwolve
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quote:
Originally posted by aragorn64:

My English teacher in tenth grade told us, rather vehemently, that mystery/science fiction/fantasy books hold no value. (Yes, I know that's a rather common one.)

I've told this story here on hatrack a thousand times, but it can stand to be told again.

I read and wrote a paper on Hermann Hesse's The Glass Bead Game for my AP English class. After reading the paper my teacher called me up to have this conversation with her.

My teacher: This book sounds science fictiony, and I really wanted you to choose a book with literary value for this assignment.

Me: I'm so sorry, I thought that since Hesse won the Nobel Prize in Literature for it, it would be alright. I'll try to choose more carefully next time.

My teacher:...

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Itsame
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In Honors English sophomore year, at the beginning of the year my english teacher said that she didn't think I should be in the class (because the test to get in I barely passed, cause it was about poetry and my class hadn't covered it yet) and said she thought that I should drop it. I got the highest grade in the class by far.

In 8th grade our class had a trip planned to DC and my English teacher called me in and said "I see you signed up to go to Washington" "Yes" "But... who would want to room with you, are you sure you really want to go?" God that pissed me off.

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