Two weeks ago a careless driver ran a red light and totaled our family's only car. Fortunately only I was in the vehicle and I was able to walk away from it, but it really took the wind out of my sails.
Last week we were supposed to close on our first home. Unfortunately Bank of America screwed up our mortgage and so we weren't able to close on time. The situation was complicated because we were taking advantage of a subsidized mortgage rate through a third party that depended on our income level. Between when we locked in our loan and closing I got a raise, which would normally be great news, but made it impossible for the mortgage company to reevaluate our loan because we would no longer qualify for the subsidy. Without the subsidy we couldn't afford the home. So on Thursday it looked like we might not be able to buy the house at all.
So that situation worked itself out, but the closing got delayed until Wednesday (day after tomorrow). We were able to move in anyway, by signing a temporary lease from the owner. The move went fine (although it took a miracle in the shape of a 300-lb bodybuilding Vermonter who just happened to be in the neighborhood to get our piano up and into the house).
We were settling into our new home, getting to know its quirks yesterday. We left for church at 3:15, then went straight from church to dinner at my wife's sister's house. We drove by our old apartment to grab a load of leftover boxes and then out to our new place. We were greeted by billowing smoke and the melodious beeping of our fire alarms. Evidentally while we were gone a cardboard box tipped onto the stovetop and ignited (we either left a round on, or the falling box turned one on). The kitchen was pretty much completely destroyed, and everything else sustained extreme smoke damage. If we'd closed on the home, our homeowner's insurance would have taken care of everything, but as it is it looks pretty unlikely that it will cover anything. The seller's insurance is apparently covering damage to the house, but that leaves all our stuff which now needs to be moved out, cleaned out and thrown out (if it can't be cleaned).
So anyway, we haven't even bought the home and we've already destroyed it. Or at least damaged it pretty good. But at least we got to know our neighbors, who were extremely kind and helpful. And there's been an outpouring of love and help from both my family, my wife's family, and our friends here. But still, right off, you know?
Posts: 2926 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Ohhh, ouch. I am soooo sorry. I'm glad no one was hurt, and I hope that there will be a solution to the insurance.
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I do hope that this run of bad luck exhausts your supply of bad luck for the rest of forever. Please!
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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----- I sprained my thumb a month and a half or so ago and it's not getting better. In fact, it's actually getting worse. And spread to the other hand. Darn stoopid defective ligaments or tendons or whatever it is. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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So, my boss (the owner of the company) asks me to design some marketing material that looks like and is laid out like a passport. So I design this creative, funny, intuitive booklet (not to toot my own horn). He takes a look at it and starts making slashes and x's and it ends up looking like every other brochure we make with a cover that has the word "passport" on it. It is full of the exact same ideas he uses in every marketing tactic we try. And golly, none of them have ever worked.
What can I do? I can't say, "Hey owner of the company, I know you sign my checks and all, but you're a freaking idiot and if you'd just stick to your plan and try something creative we might actually get some business around here."
So I redesign it and it looks like crap and my name gets stuck on it and whoopie! I get to use this in my portfolio! ugh.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by erosomniac: Other than that...it's not like contraceptives are a right. Whether they should be or not is a whole 'nother story.
For SOME people out there, birth control should be a RESPONSIBILITY!!!!
(This is a tongue-in-cheek joke, by the way. Offense is not intended, unless you were the target of the joke. That being: idiots who, for any number of reasons, don't deserve to have their genes passed on.)
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by vonk: So, my boss (the owner of the company) asks me to design some marketing material that looks like and is laid out like a passport. So I design this creative, funny, intuitive booklet (not to toot my own horn). He takes a look at it and starts making slashes and x's and it ends up looking like every other brochure we make with a cover that has the word "passport" on it. It is full of the exact same ideas he uses in every marketing tactic we try. And golly, none of them have ever worked.
What can I do? I can't say, "Hey owner of the company, I know you sign my checks and all, but you're a freaking idiot and if you'd just stick to your plan and try something creative we might actually get some business around here."
So I redesign it and it looks like crap and my name gets stuck on it and whoopie! I get to use this in my portfolio! ugh.
Does your boss, by chance, have pointy hair?
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2005
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"Hey! Good idea boss! Let's use your favorite creditial from two freaking years ago to show potential clients how current we are in the industry! The business will be ROLLING in!"
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My fiancee passed away in January and I still can't get out of bed before 10 unless I absolutely have to. I can't do anything but watch TV, and I'm currently unemployed.
I always want to be alone when I'm around people, and I always want to be around people when I'm alone. Maddening.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Yes, I moved back in to my old room, but if I make enough at my next job, I might be able to buy a home within a few years, maybe less if I stay with my parents longer than the six months I planned for. I just don't want to be a 23-year-old living at home. If I'm out by October, I'll be on my own before 23.
Not that I'm thinking of that very much. I'm mostly trying not to think at all.
I did see a grief therapist. I don't think it helped me too much. I've found that working is the best thing to keep my mind off it, but sadly, I don't have a job.
I've gained a bit of weight as well, since I have my normal appetite without the exercise regimen I used to do.
Just not enjoying life much at the moment. Just about the only thing that makes me smile is watching my niece.
My do I really need to get off the pity-pot.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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It will probably take a while before joy is a part of your every day life again. And it's ok, IMO, for you to think that sucks. It does!
If you can force yourself (and I know this is hard to do!) to start exercising again, I think it would help a lot. Energy and endorphins are both good.
It could be that a grief therapist is not what you need. Or it could be that the one you saw was not a good fit, and a different one might be more helpful.
In any case, I think you could use another *hug*
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Yikes, Nick. That does sound awful. You just ticked off all the symptoms of depression. You may want to seek out a therapist to get you over the hump.
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rivka, what's a get in the context of divorce? And congrats on the divorce being finalized. (Am I correct in thinking a congrats would be appropriate? If I'm wrong, please ignore.)
Nick, they're right - it hasn't been that long, and yeah, grieving will take as long as it takes. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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A get is a religious divorce decree, which is separate from a civil divorce decree. If you get divorced, you definitely want both. Without both, things like remarriage aren't possible.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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(((Nick))) That was only January - it's still been less than six months. I don't think it's worrying that you're still kind of broken about it. It sounds like you have a clear idea of your situation and a plan, and I think that's good. I think you'll be able to get up and get moving when you're ready. Grief is hard. *hugs*
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:-/ Nick, dude, I'm sorry. That must be pretty rough. Just know that I'm pulling for you, bub.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: A get is a religious divorce decree, which is separate from a civil divorce decree. If you get divorced, you definitely want both. Without both, things like remarriage aren't possible.
Anywhere but Israel, anyway. Israeli law views a get as a civilly binding document as well.
Congratulations are perfectly appropriate. A couple of my friends are taking me out to celebrate Saturday night. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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A few weeks ago I went out with a girl I met through eHarmony, and even though I emailed her thanking her for the date that evening she still hasn't gotten back to me! So I sent her another message a few days ago, in response to which I've heard nothing. Why do people think it's acceptable to drop someone in this way?
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Not great, but...you've only gone on one date, so she doesn't really owe you an explanation. I'm sorry it didn't work out - it's better to know earlier, right?
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I'm going to agree with kat on this one. She doesn't owe you anything. Just because your eharmony whatsits meshed in their oh-so-scientific way doesn't mean she has to call you back after your introductory date. Maybe she found a chap more to her liking. Maybe it's time for you to do the same.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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Oh, I agree. I was just thinking she'd send me a short email saying she wasn't interested. I'm not devastated by it.
At least she isn't like the other eHarmony girl I went out with, who after our first date said in an email she wasn't interested, then emailed me a few months later asking how I was doing, and after I responded sent me a link to her blog where she wrote among other things what a boring time she'd had on our date. She wrote things like, "We went to this museum and they had NO exhibits about such and such. What the ...?" and "Well, I wasn't looking at my watch the whole time and he paid for everything, which is always good ha ha ha."
But I'm corresponding with a few other people that I'll probably meet soon, so I'm all right.
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Right Off: Sakeriver isn't loading on my computer for some reason. It's like my internet is really slow, but other websites work fine. Rather annoying.
Also, I got mysteriously ill yesterday - started shaking like crazy but didn't have a high temperature. I'm feeling better now, but I'm a little disturbed by it...
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002
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I wish I could answer 'yes' to that question, thus ZING!ing you out of existance, but sadly, it was just an ambiguous response .
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Dragon: Right Off: Sakeriver isn't loading on my computer for some reason. It's like my internet is really slow, but other websites work fine. Rather annoying.
Also, I got mysteriously ill yesterday - started shaking like crazy but didn't have a high temperature. I'm feeling better now, but I'm a little disturbed by it...
No Sake, afebrile tremors. Sounds like you've got the DT's.
Sake doesn't work for me, neither. Sometimes, it just doesn't do anything. (That's the beauty of it).
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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I'm going to agree with kat on this one. She doesn't owe you anything. Just because your eharmony whatsits meshed in their oh-so-scientific way doesn't mean she has to call you back after your introductory date. Maybe she found a chap more to her liking. Maybe it's time for you to do the same.
But surely it's rude for her not to respond to me and tell me she's not interested? Would you drop someone like that?
Again, I'm not angry at her for not being interested in me, but I am a little angry that people seem to think she's done nothing wrong.
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Well, that would be the honorable or polite thing to do. Maybe she didn't want to tell you at first, and thought she would get around to it and never did, and by the time she remembered, she figured you got the message that she wasn't interested.
I wouldn't say it's wrong to not call you, but she's one of many that will do this to you. Most people aren't going to call you and say, "I'm really not interested in another date." A lot of people (myself included) like to let life's circumstances speak for themselves.
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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quote:Again, I'm not angry at her for not being interested in me, but I am a little angry that people seem to think she's done nothing wrong.
Boy are you gonna feel bad when she emails you from the hospital after she gets out of her coma.
Which is to say that you don't know what's going on in her life, and it might make you feel less rejected if you just assume that she was hit by a bus. That's usually what I do.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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It is very common and usually acceptable to not respond after a first date that wasn't working out for you.
I'm not saying it's royal behavior, but definitely widespread and seen as acceptable. In fact I am having a hard time coming up with anny instances where there was contact afterwards, even to express disinterest. I think I would even rather just have someone not be available for a while to clue me into their disinterest than hear them tell me after just one date.
I think it is more expected after a second and definitely a third date to let the other party know you are no longer invested in further exploration.
I wouldn't get hung up on it. It was a first date. That's practically bumping into someone at the grocery store; except that someone paid for it. Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Nick, yes, do treat that burn. I would recommend at the very least that you put neosporin on it and bandage it each night before you go to bed. It's very hard to keep your hands from getting wet, but you should try to do that, and replace the bandages at least once a day. I would suggest using the bandaid "advanced healing" type of bandage (they work best when used alone, without neosporin), but I don't think they make any big enough to cover that burn. See if you can find some, though. They come in a silvery box.
If you treat wounds like this, they heal much faster, and scar much less. It will help prevent infections, too, which can cause additional tissue damage. It's really important to take good care of yourself, and not ignore things like this. If you had a child or pet with a wound this bad, you wouldn't just ignore it and hope it gets better (I hope). You should always treat yourself with the same care you would anyone else who is under your stewardship. Be good to yourself! It matters.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Oh, dear. That looks terrible, Nick, do take care of it.
I once accidentally grabbed a hot iron handle on my skillet that had been in my oven for a half hour at sixty bajillion degrees F. I held onto it long enough to pull it out of the oven and set it on the stove- it literally took that long for the OH MY FREAKING GOSH message to run from my hand to my brain. The skin on my hand had gone all warpy and I was a screaming demon.
I was cooking dinner for friends, but had to stand with my hand under the sink for about ten minutes, and only took quick breaks to answer the door. I didn't want them to sit around eating without me in my apartment; solution? I held a cold can of Dr. Pepper all evening. I put some in the freezer for a couple hours and even slept with one in my hand. This solved the quandry of taking a potentially leaky bag of ice into bed with me. Brilliant!
It more or less healed up my hand overnight. I wasn't even left with any scars.
P.S. Simmer Down by Bob Marley and the Wailers was stuck on loop when i got burnt, and continued to play over and over and over again as I wimpering at the sink waiting for my friends to show up and rescue me. Hilariously annoying.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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