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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Weird question (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Weird question
Lisa
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It isn't your fault, KoM. There'll always be people who think they're entitled to answer for others and say whatever they want about them. And there'll always be people who'll excuse it by saying, "But everyone already knew."

And I can't delete it. I've said before that I don't think it's right to delete other people's posts. The only time I can recall deleting a thread was when it was a duplicate and that was pointed out to me before anyone posted anything of content.

I'm not going to do something I think is wrong just because it personally inconveniences me. But I appreciate what you said, Noemon.

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steven
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I don't do personal favors for Lisa, because she never apologizes for her behavior here.
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Tammy
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Everyone didn't know. I didn't know. It doesn't matter. Rude is rude.
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The Pixiest
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steven: That doesn't excuse you blurting that out like you did. Don't think of it as a favor for Lisa, Think of it as a favor for anyone with personal information they wouldn't want posted on a public forum (which is most likely *everyone*)

Lisa: (((Lisa)))

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steven
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I actually thought there's be 3 or 4 responses saying exactly what I did, all with the same time stamp. I wouldn't have said it otherwise, peeps.
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Tammy
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Well, you were wrong, weren't ya!
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steven
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Lisa has, IIRC, on at least 1 or 2 occasions, said it's actually OK to mention what I did here, because she herself has mentioned it openly before. This request is a departure, in my understanding, from that previous opinion. Given that, I'm trying to figure out why everyone is yelling at me. How, given what I just said, was I supposed to know it's verboten?
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Noemon
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Lisa has always been circumspect about this topic on this forum (I think that you're remembering incorrectly when you say that she's been direct about it here). Out of respect for that, most people who are privy to that information left it to her to answer or not, as she saw fit.
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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
Lisa has, IIRC, on at least 1 or 2 occasions, said it's actually OK to mention what I did here, because she herself has mentioned it openly before. This request is a departure, in my understanding, from that previous opinion. Given that, I'm trying to figure out why everyone is yelling at me. How, given what I just said, was I supposed to know it's verboten?

But you know I'm here on this thread. If I want to answer, I can answer. It's not like I need help.

I retract the request that you delete the comment as a favor to me. I'll only ask that you do so because it's the right thing to do. If you're the kind of person who will do something wrong and then refuse to fix it when it's very easy to fix because he holds a grudge against the person in question, so be it.

I try not to say it as bluntly as you did, both because it bugs me to think about it too much, and because I know that it bugs other people as well. I try not to be too "in your face" about it.

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Noemon
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
Lisa has, IIRC, on at least 1 or 2 occasions, said it's actually OK to mention what I did here, because she herself has mentioned it openly before. This request is a departure, in my understanding, from that previous opinion. Given that, I'm trying to figure out why everyone is yelling at me. How, given what I just said, was I supposed to know it's verboten?

Leaving aside arguments about whether or not your understanding of the situation with regard to this information is correct, given that you're now aware of the fact that it isn't a subject that she considers open for discussion here, is it safe to assume that you're on your way back to the last page to delete your post?
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steven
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IIRC, there was a very specific exchange where someone apologized to her for mentioning it here, and she said it was OK, because she had been very open about it already here. I think it's a little ridiculous to expect me not to catch people up to speed on this very convoluted situation. I honestly meant no harm, and still don't. The story doesn't make nearly as much sense without that fact about her, IMHO. Having said that, the post is edited. Frack all of you. [Smile]
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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
IIRC, there was a very specific exchange where someone apologized to her for mentioning it here, and she said it was OK, because she had been very open about it already here.

I wrote that because I didn't want the person in question to feel bad about it. They weren't as blunt about it as you were, though.
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T:man
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Wait what, was the comment? I only sign on hatrack once a day and someone deleted it. I have no idea what you are arguing about.
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steven
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I said it the way I did because I wanted to be sure KoM understood. I'm not going to apologize for this, but, Lisa, I hope you've learned that pissing people off and then refusing to apologize does have consequences. Truthfully, I seriously doubt that your defenders here have read the threads and posts of yours that I am protesting. For that matter, if PJ or the Cards actually did something about your behavior, I wouldn't feel it necessary to cop a 'tude. [Smile] It's nothing personal, but somebody needs to rein you in, unless you're going to start reining yourself in. Please? Would you do that?
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Noemon
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Thanks for editing your post, steven.
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steven
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"Wait what, was the comment? I only sign on hatrack once a day and someone deleted it. I have no idea what you are arguing about."

Lisa, why not just be open about it, like you have been before?

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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
I said it the way I did because I wanted to be sure KoM understood. I'm not going to apologize for this, but, Lisa, I hope you've learned that pissing people off and then refusing to apologize does have consequences. Truthfully, I seriously doubt that your defenders here have read the threads and posts of yours that I am protesting. For that matter, if PJ or the Cards actually did something about your behavior, I wouldn't feel it necessary to cop a 'tude. [Smile] It's nothing personal, but somebody needs to rein you in, unless you're going to start reining yourself in. Please? Would you do that?

Actually, I'm quite sure that the people who were suggesting that you edit that post did read those posts.

I don't really understand you, steven. The other day, I did a personal favor for someone who has ripped me up one side and down the other on this board in ways that I found inappropriate. I didn't do it as an overture or anything; I did it because I could, and because holding grudges is a good way to cut yourself off from people of value in one area just because you can't get along in another.

I was going to thank you for editing that post, but it's pretty obvious that you did it because you felt you were being dogpiled, and not at all because you realized it was the right thing to do.

Does it occur to you that maybe the people who were saying you should edit it weren't "defending Lisa", but merely thought that what you did was inappropriate, regardless of who was involved?

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Noemon
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Ug--I posted my thanks before I'd seen steven's explanation. I still appreciate your deleting the post in question, but do you honestly think that your actions here have somehow "taught Lisa a lesson" (and incidentally, if you're more or less admitting to that having been your motivation here, does that mean that you were being dishonest when you said that you had no idea that your post would be viewed as being out of line?)?

Steven, I've read enough of Lisa's posts here to know exactly what you're objecting to with regard to them. I strongly dislike the tone that she often takes, myself, and I vehemently disagree with her on some pretty key issues. My objection to your posts here has nothing to do with Lisa personally, however. It wouldn't matter who you'd done that do; it was wrong, period.

[Edit--I'm typing too slowly! Post changed to accurately reflect which post it was that I was responding to]

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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
"Wait what, was the comment? I only sign on hatrack once a day and someone deleted it. I have no idea what you are arguing about."

Lisa, why not just be open about it, like you have been before?

Because I frakking hate it. If there'd been a way to ask the question I wanted to ask here without either lying or letting it slip a little, I would have done so, but there isn't. I avoided pronouns as much as I possibly could. It may be central to why my ex is acting this way, but it wasn't, I don't think, central to the question I was asking advice about.
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T:man
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Really doesn't matter to me, especially if it is a delicate topic.
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steven
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"Ug--I posted my thanks before I'd seen steven's explanation. I still appreciate your deleting the post in question, but do you honestly think that your actions here have somehow "taught Lisa a lesson" (and incidentally, if you're more or less admitting to that having been your motivation here, does that mean that you were being dishonest when you said that you had no idea that your post would be viewed as being out of line?)?


I posted it with the intent of clarification to KoM. I left it for a different reason, one that I still agree with.

In a general sense, I think it's slightly ridiculous to reveal something like this on the internet...and then try and take it back later.

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steven
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I'm not even going to go over to sake river. Without even looking, I know I'm getting trashed behind my back over there, and frack every single one of you who's doing it. [Smile]
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T:man
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But not me right?
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steven
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Frack anybody who backstabs over there as their primary method of release for frustration at what happens here. I'm not going to lie and say the hatrack gossip thread is the reason I don't read or post there now, but some of the things that get said in that thread sure do belie the philosophies and religions that the people saying those things claim to believe/follow. IOW, Christians my ass. T:Man, I don't even know if you post there or not.

You guys, the backstabbing there is nasty. It's amazing how some of you are members of religions that claim to foster virtues like honesty and avoiding gossip...and yet you're all up in that thread, stabbing backs.

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Noemon
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You're a member there under the name al. I don't know that I've seen you around much over there lately, but you've certainly been active in the past. If people are posting about you (and since I can't get there from work, I don't know one way or the other if they are or not) in full expectation that you're reading what they're writing, can that really be considered backstabbing?
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ClaudiaTherese
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steven, nobody has mentioned this there. The last post was from yesterday wherein Noemon was making fun of me for smelling like "that stuff they use in institutions when they're trying to cover up the odor of vomit."

quote:
Originally posted by steven:
You guys, the backstabbing there is nasty.

Word up. I may smell like mothballs and Pine-Sol, but that was totally over the top. [Wink]

---

Edited to add: Actually, Jesse's laughing at Noemon's slander is the last post. [Mad]

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ClaudiaTherese
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(*glares* Yeah, you. Backstabber. Right in my face!)
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steven
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I admit that I stabbed a few backs while I was posting there, but I really did my best to control myself. I am not advocating perfection, but the joy and enthusiasm and downright verve with which backs are stabbed there is a little disconcerting, in view of the participants' stated beliefs about religion, etc. There's no shame, and backs are stabbed with a total lack of decorum. It's joyous. How sad. [Frown]
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Enigmatic
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
I'm not even going to go over to sake river. Without even looking, I know I'm getting trashed behind my back over there, and frack every single one of you who's doing it. [Smile]

I hope you're enjoying your persecution complex, seeing as how that hasn't happened at all.

--Enigmatic

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ClaudiaTherese
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And what Noemon said.

Here, not the part there about me and the smelling.

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steven
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"I hope you're enjoying your persecution complex, seeing as how that hasn't happened at all."

I refuse to check. I know that sooner or later, it'll start up again. Who doubts that fact?

I at least try to control myself in that area.

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steven
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Sara, my memory is incredibly long, as I think some jatraqueros have seen at times. I remember critical posts almost word for word years later. Yours are no exception.

I still don't play the piccolo, Sara. Do you still think I should start? 'Cos I remember a certain raw milk thread where I taught you a little lesson about e. coli and grain-fed versus grass-fed cows.

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Lisa
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I've gone over there once or twice after I've been dogpiled in a thread on the middle east, or something. I've never seen anyone say anything there that they wouldn't say here.

But I just checked, because you had me curious, and it's been two days since the last post in the Hatrack Gossip thread.

Is something else bothering you, steven? Honestly, I mean it's not like you and I agree very often here, if at all, but you seem really extra on edge.

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steven
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"is something else bothering you, steven? Honestly, I mean it's not like you and I agree very often here, if at all, but you seem really extra on edge."

Wow, you're confused if you think I'm in the mood to talk to you right now. Seriously, can you not take a hint or fifty? Babe, I'm long-suffering about banning people around here, because I've been banned from a couple of boards, and, when I asked PJ to ban you, I meant it. It took me a long time to get frustrated enough.

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Lisa
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Gee, I can't imagine how you could have been banned from a couple of boards...
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ElJay
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If you don't want to talk to Lisa, posting in a thread she started to ask a question perhaps isn't the most effective way to do it.
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bootjes
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I am completely new here but I like to express my sympathies for you Lisa.

I have 4 kids. The idea of not being able to communicate with them takes my heart apart.

praying for you (if that is not offensive)

JJ

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T:man
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Hi Bootjes I'm the T Yeah welcome to hatrack!!!
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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by bootjes:
I am completely new here but I like to express my sympathies for you Lisa.

I have 4 kids. The idea of not being able to communicate with them takes my heart apart.

praying for you (if that is not offensive)

JJ

Thanks, JJ.
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steven
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"Gee, I can't imagine how you could have been banned from a couple of boards..."

The same way you would be if I were the mod here. Seriously.

"If you don't want to talk to Lisa, posting in a thread she started to ask a question perhaps isn't the most effective way to do it."

Why do you assume ignoring the problem will fix it? I mean, I use that tactic in a general sense, but it doesn't matter if I ignore her or not, she's here unless banned. I think we all agree on that. She cannot be changed through pleading, swearing, screaming, or anything else that I've seen. I think we all agree on that as well. Not only that, she isn't going to change on her own. Take her or leave her, she's Lisa. Does anyone have the slightest evidence that I'm wrong? No.

ElJay, you're probably the second or third worst offender with the backstabbing. You're shameless. Granted, you don't talk about religion a lot, so there's not a lot to complain about in that regard. That's about all the good that I can say.

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ElJay
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I don't think ignoring Lisa will change her one whit. But it seems pretty silly to post in her thread and then tell her you don't want to talk to her when she responds.
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Noemon
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quote:
Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese:
steven, nobody has mentioned this there. The last post was from yesterday wherein Noemon was making fun of me for smelling like "that stuff they use in institutions when they're trying to cover up the odor of vomit."

I was merely pointing out a fact. ::nods::
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Primal Curve
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Drama, drama.

At least now I know how to keep steven away from SR: the Gossip thread in which no real gossip actually occurs.

Honestly, if you post something on a public forum, people should be allowed to talk about it in any context. And it's definitely not town gossip when you shout it out in the middle of town square.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
gos·sip /ˈgɒsəp/
–noun 1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.
2. light, familiar talk or writing.
3. Also, gos·sip·er, gos·sip·per. a person given to tattling or idle talk.

I'd say the Hatrack Gossip thread is much more defined by #2 than by #1, especially considering little time is given to discussing anything that happens in people's private lives that they haven't mentioned publicly before. Seriously, if you air your laundry out for all to see, what do you expect us to do?

Oh, and I don't really like you. Just so you don't think I'm back-stabbing you. I'd much rather just punch you in the face.

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The Genuine
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quote:
Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese:
steven, nobody has mentioned this there. The last post was from yesterday wherein Noemon was making fun of me for smelling like "that stuff they use in institutions when they're trying to cover up the odor of vomit."

quote:
Originally posted by steven:
You guys, the backstabbing there is nasty.

Word up. I may smell like mothballs and Pine-Sol, but that was totally over the top. [Wink]

---

Edited to add: Actually, Jesse's laughing at Noemon's slander is the last post. [Mad]

I come over here like maybe once a week at best only to find that you Hatrack ****s are currently gossiping about me?

[Grumble]

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Noemon
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quote:
Originally posted by The Genuine:
I come over here like maybe once a week at best only to find that you Hatrack ****s are currently gossiping about me?

[Grumble]

CT's pretty shameless, isn't she? The next thing you know she's going to be accusing you of playing a clarinet or something.
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TomDavidson
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steven, let me reiterate this: your pre-adolescent daughter reads these boards. Do you imagine she doesn't do the occasional search on your username, just to see what daddy's saying? Is your behavior here the sort of behavior you'd like to model for her?
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Lisa
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Trying to calm down someone this angry is only going to pour oil on the flames. Leave him be.
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Dagonee
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Lisa, I'm sorry you have to go through these contortions to try to protect your daughter. That really sucks.
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BlackBlade
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I just noticed this thread Lisa. I wish you didn't have to go through all these acrobatics in order to do the decent thing.

Out of curiosity, in Rabbinical court is a restraining order completely binding, or can it be reevaluated?

Would the creation of an anonymous email with which you forward your friends email to your ex be a viable option?

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ClaudiaTherese
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
Sara, my memory is incredibly long, as I think some jatraqueros have seen at times. I remember critical posts almost word for word years later. Yours are no exception.

I still don't play the piccolo, Sara. Do you still think I should start? 'Cos I remember a certain raw milk thread where I taught you a little lesson about e. coli and grain-fed versus grass-fed cows.

*mildly

As I recall, I expressed appreciation -- publicly, at that time -- for that particular useful and and accurate bit of information. If you'd like, consider this public appreciation expression number 2 for that particular useful and and accurate bit of information.

Edited to add: I'm still awfully glad to know it, and I hope to use it in the future. I think it would be very important in the right context, even crucial. Third thanks!

---

quote:
Originally posted by Dagonee:
Lisa, I'm sorry you have to go through these contortions to try to protect your daughter. That really sucks.

Seconded, in spades.
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