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Author Topic: Ask me anything about Star Wars
Samprimary
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Hey everybody. I know pretty much everything about Star Wars, which is why my mom and dad are proud of me and rarely bother to talk about my development stages anymore. You can ask me anything about Star Wars and I will enlighten you with the best possible answers about Star Wars.

A couple things to lay down before we begin, though:

1. In the case of any inconsistent or ambiguous canon, I myself am able to tell you what the truth of the matter really is, without a doubt. Kind of like if I had a ministerial position in my (obviously correct) individual sect of Starwarsology.

2. In any case in which I and Wookiepedia disagree, I am correct and Wookiepedia is terrible.

Vaishnavism is a pile of lies. Now, let us begin.

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Foust
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I've skimmed the surface of Star Wars novels, enough to know there was a big invasion by Chinese aliens, but I've never read any of the books in that story line. Are any of them worth it?
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Samprimary
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The Yuuzhan Vong were the inevitable byproduct of an extended universe already jam-packed with biggerer, deadlier, more fiercer wars and enemies, desperately trying for the next big deadlierest biggererest war to continue filling every nanosecond of the original trilogy character's lives with comic book pulp, ad infinitum.

To that end, the Yuuzhan Vong were the biggererestest worsterest most deadliererest force ever encountered! They launched the largererestest force and killed "365 trillion sentients" across the galaxy. They were the creepiestest and most other-iest!!

If you can, like, go back in time and remember reading the painfully adolescent adventures of luke, han, kyp durron, the new republic, et al, and you think this was an enjoyable thing and you want more of it and you are literally 15-18 years old irl it would probably be a great idea to read through the Yuuzhan Vong war books. As is though I do not regret its abolishment into non-canon.

fun fact about the Vong: Canderous Ordo likely was among the first to encounter them.

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Herblay
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Why does Obi Wan call Vader by the moniker "Darth" in the first movie. Is there a canon explanation for this? From the second movie onward, Darth is a title, but none of the Sith are ever referred to in this manner again.
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Herblay
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What about that time when Picard became a Borg. Was he ever really freed of their influence? There were a few allusions to the fact that his judgement might still be impaired.
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Herblay
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Why can John Carter jump so high?
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
Why does Obi Wan call Vader by the moniker "Darth" in the first movie. Is there a canon explanation for this? From the second movie onward, Darth is a title, but none of the Sith are ever referred to in this manner again.

Darth is a common title among Sith, yes. Like Sidious and Maul (and a skillion others before), Anakin adopted the Darth title in front of his new sith name. Obi-Wan was aware by this time of Anakin's new name and title.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
What about that time when Picard became a Borg. Was he ever really freed of their influence? There were a few allusions to the fact that his judgement might still be impaired.

He's Goku.

quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
Why can John Carter jump so high?

Goku.
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Herblay
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
Why does Obi Wan call Vader by the moniker "Darth" in the first movie. Is there a canon explanation for this? From the second movie onward, Darth is a title, but none of the Sith are ever referred to in this manner again.

Darth is a common title among Sith, yes. Like Sidious and Maul (and a skillion others before), Anakin adopted the Darth title in front of his new sith name. Obi-Wan was aware by this time of Anakin's new name and title.
Yes, but in subsequent movies he's called Vader. Darth Sidious is never called by the moniker "Darth". Nor is Maul. I know it's a title, but it is never used the same way after the first film.
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Herblay
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Why midichlorians?
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
Yes, but in subsequent movies he's called Vader. Darth Sidious is never called by the moniker "Darth". Nor is Maul. I know it's a title, but it is never used the same way after the first film.

Darth Sidious isn't even referred to as Sidious in the original trilogy, only by the title of the Emperor. Sith lords do this. They love adopted names and sinister titles and often appoint themselves with the title Darth as a challenge to other sith. The title of Darth seemingly has a history that drifts back further than the giant wall that is the Rakatan Infinite Empire, so there's a point to its ubiquity among dark force users. Vader stuck with Darth. Palpatine just liked Emperor once he effectively took over the whole republic, so he used it primarily. But he probably still held the title of Darth as well.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
Why midichlorians?

Because Lucas had become a dumb hacky writer and threw the midichlorians in as a easy-mode, crutchy way to exposit Anakin's significant inborn power/potential as a number on a device that Qui Gon could explain to a child (the audience is also the child). Whoa! Anakin has more of the midiwhatsits. Over nine thousand midiwhatsits! That's a lot of midiwhatsits. The boy is special. Did you catch that, audience? Pandering!

It was, in his fashion, something which significantly undermined greater mythos and metaphysics for the star wars universe just to punt his way through a plot point about Anakin.

Since I know for a fact that midichlorians will be consequently handwaved away forever now because they were so bad and created a ton of plot holes, the new explanation is that Qui-Gon was becoming a bit of a weird old man and had started to fall in with some unorthodox fringe beliefs, like your crazy Scientology-dabbling uncle and his various emails to you about the dangers of fluoride and health benefits of omega tryptophans or eating placentas or whatever.

So he got really invested in this alt-bio Midichlorian Hypothesis and was totally sold on it and was talking it up excitedly to Anakin but most everyone else was either rolling their eyes at ol' quigon or just humoring the dude. Meanwhile, back at the jedi temple yoda was like 'quigon, talk about this midichlorian shite we must' and qui-gon was all like 'look, it's really true. I loaned you a copy of Jedinetics, right? Chapter four detailes how an orgone meter can reveal subtle pulses of quantum emotional power that' and yoda was all like 'up shall the hell be shut' and it just goes on from there.

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Scott R
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The Clone Wars Animated Series: canon or not?
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Wingracer
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
Why midichlorians?

Because Lucas had become a dumb hacky writer and threw the midichlorians in as a easy-mode, crutchy way to exposit Anakin's significant inborn power/potential as a number on a device that Qui Gon could explain to a child (the audience is also the child). Whoa! Anakin has more of the midiwhatsits. Over nine thousand midiwhatsits! That's a lot of midiwhatsits. The boy is special. Did you catch that, audience? Pandering!

It was, in his fashion, something which significantly undermined greater mythos and metaphysics for the star wars universe just to punt his way through a plot point about Anakin.

Since I know for a fact that midichlorians will be consequently handwaved away forever now because they were so bad and created a ton of plot holes, the new explanation is that Qui-Gon was becoming a bit of a weird old man and had started to fall in with some unorthodox fringe beliefs, like your crazy Scientology-dabbling uncle and his various emails to you about the dangers of fluoride and health benefits of omega tryptophans or eating placentas or whatever.

So he got really invested in this alt-bio Midichlorian Hypothesis and was totally sold on it and was talking it up excitedly to Anakin but most everyone else was either rolling their eyes at ol' quigon or just humoring the dude. Meanwhile, back at the jedi temple yoda was like 'quigon, talk about this midichlorian shite we must' and qui-gon was all like 'look, it's really true. I loaned you a copy of Jedinetics, right? Chapter four detailes how an orgone meter can reveal subtle pulses of quantum emotional power that' and yoda was all like 'up shall the hell be shut' and it just goes on from there.

I actually really love this explanation. [Big Grin]
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
The Clone Wars Animated Series: canon or not?

Well as far as EU goes, it's as canon as anything else, honestly.

However, with the great canon purge, genndy tartakovsky's "every jedi is now a walking samurai jack battle-god forever" clone wars animated series' is now in "legacy" former canon. Clone Wars the CG animated series, as well as the CG movie, remains canon.

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theamazeeaz
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In your opinion, what's the worst segment of holiday special?
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Samprimary
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that part where leia awakens the force and uses her coke nail as a lightsaber to fight Sin from FFX
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Samprimary
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actually i'll definitely go with itchy's perverse dream of Diahann Carroll.

both answers are interchangeable though because we're talking about a tv special so bad that the man who made and released 'attack of the clones' wants every copy of it burned, so any part that is indecipherable from an acid trip also containing the Sun Crusher is legit

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Scott R
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Who is better: Jar Jar Binks or TK421?
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advice for robots
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The Rakatan Infinite Empire? I must know more!
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theamazeeaz
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I don't remember that part with Princess Leia. I do remember her not being able to hit all the notes in her song though...

And the Itchy dream was the correct answer. I was testing you.

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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
Who is better: Jar Jar Binks or TK421?

TK421 never dragged a movie down with his sheer minstrel-show hideousness, did he. Obvious winner.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
The Rakatan Infinite Empire? I must know more!

once upon a time in the deep dark recesses of history there was a race called the rakatans. they turned out to be more inherently adept at the force than practically any other race, and they knew force sensitivity as a way of life. eventually they were so intertwined with force use that they were able to integrate the force into their technology, creating amazing works of technological supremacy that was powered by and controlled by the force. their clear superiority in the realm of force powers and technology engendered a drive to conquer. and conquer they did, swatting aside any challenge to their complete and total hegemony.

eventually they ruled over the entire galaxy. all other races were their slaves. none could resist their power. one theory about the ubiquity of humans is that they were either the rakatan's favored slave race, or were engineered whole cloth to be perfect easy-to-maintain servants. The common language of the galaxy could have at one point just been rakatan, or an overarching slave dialect, thus ensuring its commonality across all the spiral arms. they also seem to have disposed of any races they came across that weren't terribly useful to them, which provides an interesting theory as to the remaining mostly-bipedal-homogeneity of most races and how interesting it is that so many of them resemble humans in some way.

a spasjillion years passed, or whatever. then, a plague erupted and spread through the infinite empire. it wrecked the rakatans. it spread insidiously and unstoppably across worlds. was it an organic plague? engineered? a force curse? nobody really knows for sure. it killed a lot of them and the rest were left bereft of their previous force capacity.

so they weren't masters of the force anymore.

which meant that they couldn't even use their own technology.

there was a pregnant pause.

then all their slave races rose up and kicked the crap out of them. nearly none survived. it was a miracle any survived at all. rakatan society and culture was effectively eradicated and the races of the galaxy began to grow in their own directions from this starting point of recent liberation and the collapse of the infinite empire.

sometimes rakatan technology is found intact. it's problematic. it can cause problems.

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Scott R
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Is Rebels going to suck?
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C3PO the Dragon Slayer
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How many clones fought in the Clone Wars?
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Samprimary
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quote:
Is Rebels going to suck?
Oh yeah, no, no, not at all. It's going to be remembered as the most poignant, incredible and cerebral hard science fiction yet made. Might be a little bit inaccessible to people who haven't gotten caught up with Stanislaw Lem or Hume's empiricism.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by C3PO the Dragon Slayer:
How many clones fought in the Clone Wars?

2.2 Enoughs
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Szymon
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How is non vacuum outer space explained? Is there anything in Star Wars about their Universe's laws of physics?
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Herblay
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What about the new movie? Abrams is known for digging into existing source material but denying that he's doing it up until a movie releases. Will we see Thrawn? If so, how will they justify the time difference, being that Episode VII is set thirty years after Episode VI?

If not Thrawn, is there some other (really good) source material that he might draw from? I'm assuming that (if used) the Solo twins will probably be in their late teens or early twenties.

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advice for robots
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Thanks for the rundown on the Rakatan. But if Star Wars is set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, how are there humans now in the Milky Way?
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Wingracer
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How much more money can be milked from this franchise?

How long before we get an episode IV reboot?

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Geraine
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What happened to Jar Jar after Episode 3? I know he was in the senate, but after the senate was overthrown I have to assume Sidious did something to him?
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Szymon:
How is non vacuum outer space explained? Is there anything in Star Wars about their Universe's laws of physics?

The hard scifi answer could be that there's just sound transmission in vacuum and/or technology that provides sound feedback to pilots.

The soft scifi answer would be something the force because silent space battles is boring.

Either way space is still probably still very vacuumous. Vacuumitudinal. Plo Koon was better than vacuum though so

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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Herblay:
What about the new movie? Abrams is known for digging into existing source material but denying that he's doing it up until a movie releases. Will we see Thrawn? If so, how will they justify the time difference, being that Episode VII is set thirty years after Episode VI?

If not Thrawn, is there some other (really good) source material that he might draw from? I'm assuming that (if used) the Solo twins will probably be in their late teens or early twenties.

There's been a giant canon purge. The EU is now "Legacy" non-canonical status. Literally all canon has been removed except for the movies, movie novelizations, and the star wars CG animated tv series. Anything outside of that is no longer considered canon, so there's no longer any pre- or post-movie timeline from before episode I or after episode VI, excepting events referenced by canonical sources. There is no longer any time difference to justify, nor any Thrawn at all. There is no longer the Solo twins.

Abrams and his writers are free to decide what elements to repurpose and reintroduce, entirely. Han and Leia can have kids of pretty much any age the writers want. Luke can have married a person named Mara Jade or not. Thrawn can exist or not. Thrawn can be a Gamorrean if they want. It's all up to them.

This was the absolute best thing they could have ever done and was entirely necessary, because the EU is choked up with crushingly dense and often ridiculous continuity grind, as a whole series of authors ended up filling the main character's lives and the official timeline with a neverending saturation of comic book pulp from across the 80's, 90's, 00's ...

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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
Thanks for the rundown on the Rakatan. But if Star Wars is set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, how are there humans now in the Milky Way?

God formed us from nothing in the image of the humans of that galaxy that we might independently realize a cinematic vision of these tales of old. It is our sum purpose.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Wingracer:
How much more money can be milked from this franchise?

How long before we get an episode IV reboot?

No reboot ever, but the amount of money that can be milked from this franchise is well more than ten billion dollars. Buying lucasarts for a mere 4 billion was a steal.

No seriously, despite being pure cinematic trash, the prequels earned lucas the GDP of several small countries. Imagine what happens when these movies come out and are not trash. And you can make, like, ten of them. Tv series. Games. Ima-a-a-a-a-gine.

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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Geraine:
What happened to Jar Jar after Episode 3? I know he was in the senate, but after the senate was overthrown I have to assume Sidious did something to him?

Senator Binks, still being hailed as an ally and supporter of the Emperor, was sent by Palpatine to an Undisclosed Location, and was replaced by another unwitting Naboo stooge (leia's cousin, no less) until the dissolution of the senate.

Apparently the lil' one man minstrel show was still alive for the liberation of coruscant. Sadly.

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Sean Monahan
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by Szymon:
How is non vacuum outer space explained? Is there anything in Star Wars about their Universe's laws of physics?

The hard scifi answer could be that there's just sound transmission in vacuum and/or technology that provides sound feedback to pilots.

The soft scifi answer would be something the force because silent space battles is boring.

Either way space is still probably still very vacuumous. Vacuumitudinal. Plo Koon was better than vacuum though so

Would this answer also apply to why there is no time dilation for travel or videoconferencing between solar systems?
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advice for robots
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
Thanks for the rundown on the Rakatan. But if Star Wars is set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, how are there humans now in the Milky Way?

God formed us from nothing in the image of the humans of that galaxy that we might independently realize a cinematic vision of these tales of old. It is our sum purpose.
Just wondering if Star Wars had an explanation for that in its apparently infinite backstory. But God wanting the Star Wars movies to happen works.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Sean Monahan:
Would this answer also apply to why there is no time dilation for travel or videoconferencing between solar systems?

sure because you can always handwave that stuff with things like quantum entanglement communication or w/e
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Samprimary
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"Per directive from George Lucas himself, the game’s protagonist would be a bounty hunter—a generic jack-of-all-trades without the Jedi powers that usually took center-stage in Star Wars games. Instead of swinging lightsabers and using the Force, players would manipulate gadgets and capture bounties for cash. Team members were psyched about the new direction for the project, which they called 1313.

But the goal posts kept shifting, ex-team members say. Every so often, Lucas would check in with the team, and as he grew to trust the staff behind 1313, he’d offer up changes, asking them to switch characters and rewrite the story based on what he felt would be more fitting for the game. Ex-LucasArts staff describe Lucas as someone who cared deeply about telling stories, but didn’t know much about the game development process—every Lucas-mandated story change meant shifts in every department: the design, the art, the programming. How could that not be frustrating?345P

“One of the problems of working in a film company—[Lucas] is used to being able to change his mind,” said one source. “He didn’t really have a capacity for understanding how damaging and difficult to deal with these changes were.”

In 2012, just eight weeks before E3, George Lucas dropped a bombshell: instead of starring a generic bounty hunter, 1313 would be helmed by the iconic mercenary Boba Fett.

Some staffers tried to push back—they’d spent over two years working under an entirely different vision—but Lucas and his team of executives wouldn’t reconsider. They wanted a game with Boba in it. On top of that, according to two people familiar with the project, 1313’s developers were prohibited from talking about the new hero. When the devs revealed the game and started taking interviews during E3 2012, they had to pretend that 1313 starred the same generic bounty hunter it had for the past two years."

http://kotaku.com/how-lucasarts-fell-apart-1401731043

apparently lucas was as bad for development trajectory and planning in games as he was as bad for authorial and narrative trajectory in movies

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Samprimary
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http://www.theverge.com/2014/6/12/5804502/harrison-ford-hospitalized-after-ankle-injury-while-filming-star-wars

UNACEPPTABLLLLLLLLEEEEE

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TomDavidson
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They probably had some difficulty getting the walker up the ramp.
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BlackBlade
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Ford is actually in very good shape for his age. He has a pretty active lifestyle. But your attempt at humor is acknowledged. [Wink]

I'll have to read the link this evening.

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Jon Boy
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
http://www.theverge.com/2014/6/12/5804502/harrison-ford-hospitalized-after-ankle-injury-while-filming-star-wars

UNACEPPTABLLLLLLLLEEEEE

It gets worse. [Frown]
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BlackBlade
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Wait, I can't get twitter. What does it say?!
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Jon Boy
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quote:
More sad STAR WARS news: Billy Dee Williams twisted his ankle stepping off the bus on his way to his shift at Chipotle.

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BlackBlade
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*snort*
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Scott R
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quote:
1313...
I'm not interested at all in Boba Fett.

What's wrong with me?

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Samprimary
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Probably nothing. My interest level in 1313 would have dropped off significantly had it still been in production when I discovered that you play as boba fett.
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