I wasn't sure how to explain to Teres that I was going to be marrying 3,000 people. We have enough problems ordering pizza for four...
Besides, I'm secure enough to admit that I couldn't possibly do justice to this many talented and enthusiastic women. Six or seven of you are just going to have to wait.
[ August 11, 2003, 09:12 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
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On that note, i think i shall refrain from joining this little escapade, to avoid cyber incest, thanks very much.
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posted
Maybe we could just be a really, really extended family. Those of us who prefer to be kindly parental types can do so, and what consenting Hatrackers choose to do in the privacy of their own threads is entirely up to them.
Just stick a towel on the thread if you're using it, and we'll make a lot of noise if the moderator shows up.
Please note: "Consenting Hatrackers" doesn't apply to minors. Sorry, kids.
[ August 11, 2003, 10:27 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
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quote: I think I'm a bit too young to get married.
Wait, you mean we have a daughter and we aren't married? Gosh, my Bishop is going to have a heart attack.
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And do we have to be married to everyone else? Cause if so... I think we'll go have our own mass wedding in Las Vegas. You know... just between us two.
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posted
An old article, oddly appropriate for the occasion:
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of this company to join together Jackie, Kathryn, Emil, Eric, and Steve in the holy bonds of matrimony.
This ceremony represents their desire to publically proclaim their love for one another, and their devotion to a relationship that is far beyond that of friend, companion, or even lover. They wish to marry, in the eyes of their family and friends, in the eyes of God, Gaia, the Buddha-nature in all of us, and the absolute absence of any higher power, respectively. Theirs is not a shallow love, but a love tested by time and hardships until it is tempered and true and able to withstand all trials, except for Eric who just moved in last month.
Kathryn, Jackie, and Eric feel that their lifelong mate should be strong and independent, loving, faithful, understanding, devoted, compassionate and most of all -- a best friend. Steve is already legally married to Kathryn, but he pretty much agrees anyway and he really digs Jackie. Emil says he believes in lifelong, unbreakable marriage vows, loves Kathryn deeply and is kinda curious about Eric, so he's up for it.
Forasmuch as these five people have come hither to be made one in this holy estate, if there be any here present who knows any just cause why they may not be joined in marriage, I require him now to make it known or ever after hold his peace.
Jackie, do you take Kathryn, Emil, Eric, and Steve to be your lawfully wedded spouses? Do you commit your life to them, embracing all joys and sorrows, all triumphs and hardships?
Kathryn, do you take Jackie, Eric, and Emil to be your lawfully wedded spouses, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part, even if Emil is kinda creepy?
Emil, do you take Jackie and maybe Eric to be your lawfully wedded spouses, to love and to cherish, forsaking most all others with pre-agreed upon exceptions for Butch Night at the Arena and the occasional one-nighter as per the pre-nup?
Eric, do you take Kathryn and Jackie to be your lawfully wedded spouses? Do you swear your future and your life to them, knowing that they're also bi-curious and that you're entering into a sensual paradise of which other guys may only dream? Do you realize that Emil swiped a photo of you at the beach and hid it in his wallet, and that you'll have to deal with it eventually?
And Steve, do you take Jackie to be your lawfully wedded wife, allowing Kathryn her freedom to explore her newly awakened eroticism with Jackie and Eric, especially since things were getting kinda slow with her anyway and Jackie is just so totally bitching?
Does someone have the bag of rings?
If you would please place the rings upon each other's fingers, and repeat after me: This ring symbolizes the unending union of my life with several of yours. Your dreams are now my dreams. Your hopes are my hopes. Your fears are my concerns. Your finances are now my finances. Your affection is my joy. Your crazy relatives are my crazy relatives. Your repo problems are my repo problems. Your love is my blessing.
Because you, Jackie, Kathryn, Emil, Eric, and Steve have consented together in this sacred commitment and have declared the same before this company of family and friends, I now pronounce you husbands and wives. You may now kiss... everybody.
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posted
You know, somehow I think your bishop would have an even bigger problem with you being Avadaru's bride.
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posted
So I vote Chris officiate. Which is only a complication if he wanted to participate. In the event that he is unavailable to perform the ceremony <bridezilla>(because I don't believe in double casting and we're all just going to have to conform to the way I want things done)</bridezilla alt="maybe">, who's gonna do it?
posted
If I can dig out my 20-year old Universal Life Church membership card from somewhere, I'll perform the ceremonies. We'll need a concensus on the ceremony, or I can adapt Zelazny's "Agnostic's Prayer" to cover all bases.
Who's giving the brides away? OSC?
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posted
I'm already twinky's dream wife, so the extended ceremony is just a formality.
I have to say, twink, that my favorite part of the dream was that it "just seemed like the thing to do." Like there was a pause in the conversation, and your brain said, "Twinky! Say something!" and a proposal popped out.
Twinky's brain: "Yeah, that'll work! That'll give us something to talk about."
posted
Chris, if you can adapt Madrak's prayer to fit the ceremony, then I can no longer resist. I mean, being married to a luscious group of jatraqueras was tempting enough, but to be married by a re-write of my all-time favorite bit of satire is just too much...
even if this means I have to sleep with Twinky from time to time
(don't be embarassed, Twink, everyone knows you love me )
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posted
This thread just keeps getting funnier. My half-brother and his wife had another wife for a while. Then my brother and his wife divorced so he could legally marry the other wife. So she could get visitation with her children from a previous marriage.
One of my best friends has a sister who lives with her husband and another couple. They bought a house together and everything. The 'other' husband was her lamaze partner when she had her baby. The family just sort of ignores it, which I think is the best course of action. I mean, there may not be anything funny going on.
Ron and I have had Nescho living with us for over a year, so I'm sure there are people in the neighborhood who wonder if something hinky is going on. But he's just renting a room.
So let them think I have a RL hoochie stable.
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posted
>> I'm already twinky's dream wife, so the extended ceremony is just a formality. << (kat)
Indeed. This is really just an extension of our existing dream marriage to include all jatraqueros and jatraqueras.
>> I have to say, twink, that my favorite part of the dream was that it "just seemed like the thing to do." Like there was a pause in the conversation, and your brain said, "Twinky! Say something!" and a proposal popped out.
Twinky's brain: "Yeah, that'll work! That'll give us something to talk about." << (kat)
That's a very accurate assessment. In my dream I got the distinct impression that everyone but me knew I was going to do it.
>> even if this means I have to sleep with Twinky from time to time << (TAK)
I might even be persuaded to serenade you
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