posted
For all you flower collectors--here's the book you've been waiting for! A prodigious number of pages makes it heavy enough to press your flowers, and it doesn't matter if the ink becomes unreadable--it will likely make the story better than before!
Posts: 973 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jonathan K.: The enemy's gate is DOWN. (You know i never fully understood the significance of that quote.)
Ender was telling dragon to reorient themselves so the enemy's gate was below them. it's a lot easier to move quickly if you think your falling instead of moving horizontally
Posts: 48 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Intriguing plot, well-drawn characters, witty dialogue, proper use of the work "whom," great imagery, thought-proving themes--well, 1 out of 6 ain't that bad.
When you go before a judge, THIS is the book they throw at you!
Posts: 786 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
Presenting the all new scratch-and-sniff review system. Just scratch the reviewer's name to get a whiff of the scent which they feel embodies this book.
Posts: 70 | Registered: May 2005
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So far ahead of it's time, that public schools can't dummy down enough to calculate when this will be timely.
Posts: 163 | Registered: May 1999
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"Whatever Card was smoking when he wrote this will soon become the classic drug of our time"
"QWFDSAFCXZCD!!!!"
"Oh crap somebody summarize this book for me I didn't read it and I have to do a review ........... hey are you writing this down?"
Posts: 19 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Every citizen of the PRC give it two thumbs up.
Exactly like when you wake up in the middle of the night and know something so important you have to write it down. Then in the morning it says "not the food, the dog!" and you have no idea what it means. Only starting at the second sentence.
They should get the makers of Napoleon Dynamite to make this into the sequel.
The main character is the king of the fairies!
Posts: 18 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote: Is on a par with a Florence Foster Jenkins concert!
You know Florence?!? I'm so impressed. Truly a classic in its own right. There are things in this world whose enormous value lies in how truly, uniquely awful they are. It's something like the circular universe model: if you go far enough down the scale of bad, you eventually come out the other side as good.
Maybe someone should work that into a review. Nevermind. Someone probably has already.
Posts: 270 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
From the moment I picked it up until I sat it back down I couldn't stop laughing. Someday I intend to read it. (Groucho Marx?)
Posts: 159 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Full of Portuguese phrases that you won't be able to understand!
A book that is 100% guaranteed to yellow with age!
Now contains Splenda!
¿Habla Engles?
An incredible example of a book for those looking to compare books on opposite ends of the writing spectrum. We won't let you know which end.
Great for losing weight! The constant breaks I took while being forced to read this book gave me more excercise than the past month!
You won't be able to put this book down... due to the long lasting glue that you just put your right hand in.
Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Reaches a climax at the point where they tell which font was used.
I cared so much about the characters, I felt sorry they had to be in this book.
I tried to mail this to someone "book" rate and the postal inspector came after me for mail fraud. I pled guilty.
Hey, ever notice how when you're staring at a page of text, and your eyes go all out of focus, you'll start to see jagged lines running up and down the page. Check out p. 54 -- it's really cool.
This just goes to show what one monkey, on one typewriter, working for 15 minutes can be expected to contribute to the world's literary tradition. (sorry, a slight variation on one from p. 1 of the thread).
Once a generation a story like this gets told, and then everyone realizes why it just isn't done and we can relax for another twenty years.
I learned a lot about myself by the time I'd finished this book. I learned I have the patience of a saint and that my IQ is not nearly as high as it was when I began.
I would recommend blasting this book into space, but I'm afraid some advanced culture will get ahold of it and, quite understandably, decide that humankind should be eliminated for the good of the Universe.
On my doctor's advice, I have had the neurons that participated in reading this book surgically removed. They were dead already.
Who knew anesthesia came in paperback form?
I drilled a hole in it just to see the sap run out. Imagine my surprise when the author emerged.
This is the best murder mystery I've ever encountered. How it can be that no one has yet ended the life of the author is the profoundest mystery of them all.
I'm mailing this to my aunt Gertrude. I'm sole beneficiary and this should just about do the trick.
I left this book on the train and the rest of the passengers hunted me down and made me take it back.
Now we know why lemmings leap off cliffs in such large numbers. For the sake of the species' survival, please don't show them this book again.
Sentences so twisted they actually cut through the middle of the pages and leave an exit wound at the back of the book.
If we quickly invent a new language and all switch to it without letting the author know, there may be hope for civilization yet.
This book proves that machines can write books. This one was written by a lawnmower. With a mulching blade.
I had a friend who liked this book. We can't be friends anymore.
I had to chain myself to the desk to force myself to read this thing. I gnawed my own foot off to get away.
I heard a quite believable rumor that the first draft was written in crayon.
Expressing enjoyment of this book is now listed in DSM IV as one of the warning signs for serious mental illness.
My cat peed on this book before I had a chance to read it. That cat's a lifesaver.
Light bends around this prose.
This book has done wonders for my outlook on the future. I now look forward to the world-wide paper shortage.
It caused me to change all my dreams and aspirations. Now, I just want to be like Helen Keller...long dead.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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