SQUEE! Thanks! How'd you find it? I did a search for "breadbox" and "chicken", but got no hits. I also went through pages 55-99 of the archives.
Does anyone mind if I save this to my website? I have fond memories of this thread -- I had read it days before I learned to play the TCG, which caused me to giggle constantly during that first game. My best friend and I still quote "There is a fell chicken on the road" whenever we play a Legolas card.
Now I MUST stop posting and get some work done already!
Ring tones!-- The sign of a true lotr obsessive is cell phone ring tones! Or, maybe the sign a cell phone user is a LotR obsessive... oh, nevermind. Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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I did have ring tones and two screen savers, but I dropped my phone and broke it. When I went to the website to download them again, they were gone. I had Manny Meetings, The Bridge at Khazaadum, the breaking of the fellowship and May it Be.
They were a free download for voicestream customers.
When I was younger, I had that on my closet door. My sister whenever she wanted to go in had to say melon. She thought I was seriously stupid, and informed me many times that melon did NOT mean friend, and that it was a type of fruit. It's always fun when this thread is bumped. Still funny to read....
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Hey! I posted those chicken crossing the road ones when FOTR came out!
Fellowship of the Ring - Abridged version ---- Frodo: Hi, Gandalf! Gandalf: Bilbo, give him your ring. Bilbo: Okay. Bye! Gandalf: See you at the pub, Frodo.
Frodo: Doo-de-do. Nazgul: Boo! Frodo: Eeeek! Merry: (pops up out of nowhere) Eeeek! Pippin: (ditto) Eeeek! Sam: Ha ha, can't catch us now!
Tom Bombadil: Hello little friends! Frodo: No time for you, weirdo. Tom Bombadil: (disappears)
Saruman: See, all I had to do was cross out "Good" on my business cards and write "Bad," and I'm all set. Gandalf: I never saw /that/ coming. Saruman: Excuse me while I tend to my vast army of evil orcs and war machinery which were in plain sight. Gandalf: Alas, if only he had imprisoned me at the top of a high tower without walls or ceiling so that he could not prevent a giant eagle from rescuing me, instead of in the canonical dungeon deep underground. Oh, wait.
Frodo: (whispering) Keep a low profile. Pippin: (loudly) And don't mention your real name, right? Merry: (loudly) Or the ring either, right? Strider: Right. Don't mention the ring. (laughs) It's okay, I'll save you.
Pippin: (whining) Are we there yet? Nazgul: Bwa ha ha ha. Give us the ring, little worm. Frodo: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names- Sam: Hmm, looks like swords work too. Strider: Go away, bad men! Nazgul: The five of us must flee, for we are outnumbered by this one Ranger!
Frodo: Wow, we're in Rivendell! Merry: That was easy. Pippin: Don't knock it. Sam: Elves are cool! Elrond: Get the hell out of my place, I don't need trouble. Gimli: You can't throw them out while I'm here! Legolas: Same for me! Elrond: Right, all of you wankers leave now. Gandalf: But I just got here. Boromir: I'll just invite myself along. No real reason. Certainly not because I have larceny on my mind. Nope. Strider: Look, they fixed my sword! (swish) Wheeeee!
Frodo: Such beautiful scenery. The green grass and leaves are so- [THUD] Pippin: Where the hell did all this snow come from? Gandalf: Don't blame me. Who knew that mountains could be cold on top? Gimli: Told you we should go through the mines. Strider: Let the dwarf have his way. Legolas: Fine, whatever, just open the door. Gimli: Ummm, I have no idea how to get inside. Boromir: What a bunch of dicks. Gandalf: Of course! (applies C4 to the problem) [POOF] Sam: Such magic.
Merry: Ooooo, dead dwarf over here! Gimli: Boo hoo. Pippin: HEY MONSTERS, COME AND GET US!! Gandalf: Twit. Orcs: Oh good, we were getting hungry. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to keep an army fed in these abandonded mines? Boromir: (Slash) Legolas: (Pfft) Gimli: (Whack) Orcs: This is definitely putting a damper on our relationship. Frodo: Ouch! Strider: Alas, the Ring-bearer has perished! Our quest has failed! Frodo: Just kidding. I did the slide-blade-between-arm-and-chest trick hile I was standing in profile to y'all. Pretty funny, eh? Balrog: Dammit, I was sound asleep. That really ticks me off. Gandalf: We are so doomed. Strider: Not if we run away! (does so) Boromir: First good idea you've had. (follows) hobbits: (already in the lead) Gandalf: (trailing) It matters not! You cannot outrun the demon! Legolas: We don't have to . . . Gimli: . . . we just have to outrun *you*. Balrog: Your ass is mine, wizard. (drags Gandalf down with him) Strider: Woe is upon our company, that Gandalf has fallen! Frodo: I'm over it. Sam: Yeah, let's go, there's no food here.
Legolas: Wondrous are these woods! Gimli: And full of cutthroat elves. Celeborn: We were told of your coming. Well, "warned" is more accurate. Galadriel: I know you better than you know yourselves. Sam: You've got nothing better to do with your time? Galadriel: Wake up, Frodo, and look in the mirror. Frodo: Geez, can't a guy get some sleep around here? What mirror are you babbling about, there's just this birdbath full of water. Galadriel: But it shows magic pictures of things that may or may not be! Frodo: I'm guessing you're a day trader. Here, you take the ring. Galadriel: I will not. (hangs her head) I lost the instructions. Frodo: Great, I'm still stuck with it. Celeborn: Check-out time!
Pippin: (singing) Row row row your boat, gently down- Gimli: Shut the hell up. Seven hours of that is enough. Strider: All this beautiful scenery is giving me a very bad feeling.
Boromir: Give me the ring. Frodo: Notice as I put it on that it not only makes me invisible, it also apparently teleports me away from your clutches. Boromir: Arrrrrgghhh! I'm just trying to save my kingdom! Where is a rake I can step on, that it might strike my head? Ah, this will do nicely. (whack) Frodo: Best thing for me to do now is head for the most dangerous place in the world. Sam: Works for me. (they leave) SuperOrcs: Kill kill kill! Merry: Help, help, Auntie Em! (waves his tiny sword pathetically) Pippin: Christ, look at the size of these guys, we're dead meat. Boromir: Fear not, little hobbits, I shall blow my special horn and we shall be rescued by soldiers... who are... hundreds... of... miles... away... guess we are pretty stuffed after all. (dies) SuperOrcs: Kill kill kill! Legolas: Look at my form. Damn, I'm good. Gimli: I'm environmentally friendly --- blood makes the grass grow. Strider: Looks like Frodo got away. Well, there's no chance in hell I'm going to step one foot closer to Mordor, so let's go the exact opposite direction. Legolas: Okay. Gimli: Sure.
FOTR received a... similar treatment by some gamer friends of mine in an IRC chat room. I warn, it's not for the faint of heart; this is FOTR done in "l33t sp33k" (though there isn't much of the numbers-for-letters thing, it's more the grammar/style that is "l33t"). It's a little slow to start, I suppose, but quickly picks up in frenzy and sheer ridiculousness. ^^
"It is ever so with the threads that Men begin: there is a frost in Spring, or a blight in Summer, and they fail of their promise," said Gimli.
"Yet seldom do such threads fail of their seed," said Legolas. "And that will lie in the dust and rot to spring up again in times and places unlooked-for. The threads of Men will outlast us, Gimli."
Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Belle, that screenplay was truly hysterical.
Faramir:My lord father has bidden me to deny the the Road to all chickens, to prevent Mordor rearming. *troubled* Faramir:But in this dark hour, I must take my own counsel... there is an air about you Frodo...I smell at least 11 secret herbs and spices coming from you. Plus, you're a combo meal. *decides* Faramir: I have decided. You may cross the Road, worthy chickens, and have free leave to gather any side dishes you may require for a year and a day. Then you must come to Minas Tirith and answer to my liege-lord father for your juiciness. I will answer for this with my head, if need be. (end)