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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My First Time Stopped by the Police...and now Second...and Third. (Page 2)

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Author Topic: My First Time Stopped by the Police...and now Second...and Third.
Primal Curve
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Remember, now that you're a career criminal, Police Officers are hitherto referred as "Tha Poe-Lease."
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sarahdipity
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I thought I was going 45. He thought I was going 47. Apparently it was a 35 mph zone. *shrugs* I don't recall the sign. Ironically right before I saw him I asked my passangers if anyone knew what the speed limit was.

Then my friend replied, "Well there's someone who will probably be happy to tell you."

The ticket was $130. $95 for speeding, $35 for the cracked windshield. He kept looking at my car oddly too. Maybe it was having Nebraska plates in Massachusetts.

When he asked why I thought I got pulled over I told him that I thought it was because I was going 45 in the 30. (There was a 30 mph speed limit right after the spot where he was sitting.)

He then went on to tell me it was a "clearly marked" 35 mph zone. If I'd been in the mood to really get a ticket I would have asked where the last sign was. Maybe I just missed it and it was really close. *shrugs*

Edit for a spelling error.

[ March 22, 2003, 11:58 AM: Message edited by: sarahdipity ]

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mackillian
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Isn't there something about you can't be ticketed within 100 feet of a speed limit sign (changed speed limit) because you're still speeding up or slowing down?
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mackillian
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I got pulled over again on Tuesday.

This happened in a town in my work's catchment area, I'd just come from working to support clients at a day camp. Being unfamiliar with this particular road, I'd just pulled onto it and gotten up to speed with traffic, all of which was doing 'round fifty, fifty-five.

Cop flies by me in the opposite direction.

He pulls a u-turn and flicks on his lights.

[Eek!]

He pulled ME over.

Asks me if I knew what the speed limit was. As I'd JUST passed a speed limit side AS I pulled over, I explained that to him. Limit was 40 for those of you who're curious.

He asked if I knew how fast I was going. I said "Fifty five. I thought it was fifty."

He gets my license and registration and says he's going to run my license.

Now, the guy really is being all nice and stuff. It's a heat wave up here in NH (mid-90s) and I'm hot and tired and just want to leave, as I'm late now to pick up another client.

Cop comes back and says, "I'm still going to issue you a summons because it's a bit fast for this road."

I hate karma. He said I was going fifty-seven.

Now, I'd fight it, but I figure, for those four weeks when I was manic and driving in excess of 95-100mph on the highway and didn't get stopped (and I'm still in the belief that I NEEDED to), it's karma. It's irony.

It's so damn ironic, that my therapist started laughing when I told him about the ticket.

So much for them having empathy. [Wink]

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Kama
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I got stopped for crossing the road in the wrong place. Can you imagine? I've got a driving license for 5 years, haven't been stopped once, and then I get a ticket for crossing the road? [Roll Eyes]
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mackillian
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I don't get it. How do you cross the road in the wrong place? [Confused]
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Kama
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Uh. Like not on the pedestrian crossing, but in a place where you're not supposed to cross it.

you mean you can cross streets anywhere you want in the US?

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fugu13
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No, though we can cross at any place a crossroad "should" be at in addition to those places where they actually are. Also, in most cities jaywalking (crossing at the wrong place) is a totally ignored crime.
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Kama
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Yeah I thought it was an ignored crime here, too.

<--- was wrong

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mackillian
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I thought you were in the CAR and crossing in the wrong spot. See where that confused me? [Wink]
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Kama
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Ahhh [Big Grin]

No, I haven't tried that yet [Big Grin]

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qsysue
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I used to live in the ghetto. A neighborhood of Tacoma called Hilltop, it was known as the worst gang neighborhood in the state when I lived there.

One night I had to go pick up my husband at a friend's house, and I had our older son with me, he was about 1 year old. I had to pull him out of bed to go.

We lived on the corner where all the drug deals went down (addicts would hang out on the sidewalk and dealers would drive up in their cars--curbside service), and there were always cops parked in the alleys and stuff. I had barely turned the corner when I got pulled over. I didn't have my headlights on, and didn't realize it cuz the streets were so well-lit.

The cop shone all his spotlights on us from behind, and came up to my car, shining a flashlight into the back, checking things out. He said, "Bad hair day, huh?" while I was digging for my license and registration, but I didn't know what he was talking about until he'd gone back to his car to check for warrants and I turned around to see how my son was handling the experience. The spotlights from the cop's car was shining behind him and his curly blond hair was sticking up all around his head, making a giant halo.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Mack, it was definitely your turn, no doubt about it. I have the list right here in front of me. You don't come up again for a few months, so have fun!
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mackillian
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I hate taking turns! [Mad]
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Icarus
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Bob neglected to mention that it's his job to write the list. That's why I cook him dinner as often as I can. Notice how I've never gotten a ticket? You should send him some cookies or something.

[Smile]

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Cavalier
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Haha, My first "pulling over" (of a sort) occurred when I was 14. I didn't even have a car.
Experience#1
I was walking to my friend's house along main street, minding my own business. Suddenly, this local cop pulls up and waves me over. He says, "Just what do you think you're doing? The stores [along the street] don't appreciate loiterers." I told him I was just walking to my friend's house. He tells me to stop giving him back talk and to stop loitering. I shrug my shoulders and continue to walk down the street just like I was before. He pulls off and leaves. To this day I still have no idea why the guy felt the need to stop me. There was absolutely nothing suspicous or illegal about what I was doing.

Experience #2
About a week after I get my license, I'm driving down the highway. It was after rush hour (9:00) and there wasn't much traffic. I had only been on the highway once or twice before during drivers' ed and wanted to get some practice. I did some lane changes (correct signals and whatnot) and adjusted my mirrors a bit. As I'm getting ready to get off the highway, this state cop drives up and pulls me over. He does the license and registration bit and then asks me if I'm drunk. I was dumbfounded. Being drunk? I thought I was getting a minor speeding ticket (going 59 or so in a 55, but I don't even think I was doing that to be honest). I tell him no and ask him why he'd think that. He responds that I was swerving around in the traffic lanes. I ask him if there was anything wrong with my signaling. "No." Did I do anything truly illegal then? Aagin, "No." "So i got pulled over for doing a few perfectly legal lane changes?" "That about sums it up" he says. He then told me to watch myself and not do it again. Once more, I was left scratching my head in confusion.

An added note: I'm not sure what Mack thinks about MA state cops (sneeringly referred to as "state-ies" locally) but anyone I've ever talked to hates them. All of the ones I've met have been nothing better than jack-booted thugs (some do actually wear jack-boots, btw). To give you some idea, the one that pulled me over had his sunglasses on...at 9 o'clock at night. I can only guess that this combined with his (aforementioned) jack-boots and flashlight in my eyes was for intimidation. I've heard numerous stories of them pulling people over in the middle of the day solely to mess with their heads. Never heard any about them helping anyone out. Take that for what you will.

Experience #3
I was driving through the town next to mine and got pulled over by a local cop at about 11 at night. I found out later there was a party going near the street I was driving on. He looked at my license, saw I wasn't from that town and assumed I wasn't at the party after assuring himself that I wasn't under the influence of anything. This story isn't so bad, he was fairly polite and brief. However, I question the legality of stopping someone's car just because of their age (17 at the time) and the neighborhood their driving through (as that was the rationale he offered.)

These are my only cop stories. It's for unlucky people such as myself (innocent but presumed guilty) that amendments 4,5, and 6 were put in the constitution. Eh?

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IrishAphrodite19
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Umm...I got my first ticket the other night.

I've been working as a counselor in Toccoa, Ga for the last month and couple of counselors and I had our night off. We had been to my lake house and got pulled over on our way home. (Note: I know I was in the wrong during the whole ordeal.) I left the last big town on a state road randomly thinking the whole road was 70 mph, so I set my cruise control on 85ish. As I entered a little town, a police pulled out behind me with his lights on. Grr. So I pulled over.

Turns out it was a 55 mph work zone. Grr. (Can you still get in trouble for work zones if there are no workers present?) But he went and checked me out, and started to give me my ticket. At which point I started crying and begging. I told the man I worked at a camp and I was going home, I told him it was my first ticket, I begged him for a warning. But no. He gave me the ticket for 37 over.

But the husband of my camp's Director is going to make some phone calls for me and try and get it reduced, cuz if its not my liscense is gonna be suspended. Ohno.

~~Irish~~

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Marce al'Meara
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I still don't drive, so my only experiences with cops pulling a driver over have been as the passenger.

The first time was during my senior year of high school when I was dating seriously for the first time ever. My father was understandably a little...uptight (I'm the youngest of three, sixth child from dad's third marriage--what do you expect?). In other words, if dad said get home at 5:00, I was home at that time. Except for the time the bf was driving me back and we were running a bit late, so he was speeding and got caught. I don't think he managed to talk the cop out of the ticket on the excuse of psycho fathers.

The second time was with my oldest friend. She liked to blast loud music out the windows of her big, blue Buick and go visit random places with me in the car. One night, she convinced me to come find her friend Sebastian at a tiny county airport out ... somewhere ... beyond the suburbs.

Sebastian wasn't at work and it was dark by the time we began to head home. The little county road was dark, though you could see the city far off. She thought she saw something reflecting in her headlights on the side of the road. Having been stalked downtown by some real weirdoes every time we were there, she was rather wary. She flashed the brights at it and revealed... a cop car.

He pulled out behind us and pulled us over. I was fine with it until Ms. Driver began spazzing out and flailing her hands about. I screamed at her to put her damn hands on the wheel or the poor cop might freak himself and shoot us. Then he asked for her license and we just could not find it. We knew, however, that it was in the car (I'd moved it before we began the adventure)--its exact location was just a slight mystery. The cop refused to let us out to search the seats for it. I was about to get frantic when my friend reached under her skinny butt and pulled out her rainbow colored wallet. [Embarrassed]

He let us go, but we had to do a u-turn on the intersecting country road. Then we slowly got out of there, with the feeling that the guy took us for morons and was quite impatient.

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mackillian
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Just make sure they aren't all in the trunk.
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Wetchik
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I have been pulled over for changing lanes without blinking my signal more than three times.
[Roll Eyes]

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fiazko
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i don't have any actual stories worth sharing, but i'd like to dispute the idea that girls get out of more tickets than guys. i have been pulled over in three different states, and i got a ticket every time. granted, the two speeding tickets (the other time i ran a red light) were reduced, but there was still no chance of me getting out of them.
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Eruve Nandiriel
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I got a speeding ticket last month. (63 in a 45)
I've seen 6 police cars already today. [Angst]
That makes me REALLY nervous.

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Dash Rendar
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Lol Mackillian..... the other day I was driving through Mancestah with my aunt, and we ran into no less than 5 cops, just driving through.
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Starla*
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First experience:

I was 18 years old and on my way to an 80s party. I had it all--the spandex, the boots, the off-the-shoulder. And the hair. Big hair--well, not yet, I left my hair in curlers.

I was a few miles from home when I realized I forgot something. I turned around to go back. I see the flashing red lights.
Crap, I think. I thought I was only going 55.

Well, the cop walks over, takes one look at me---80s garb, curlers, and all---and looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

I had been driving a year and a half, so he only gave me a warning. Or maybe it was the outfit. [ROFL]

Experience 2: My fault completely. Had been at a friend's house about 50 miles from home, and was trying to get home. I was speeding--50 in a 35.

I was kinda stressed. The cop asked me if I lived at the college and that the address on my license was my permanent. I told him I lived at the address and I was running late and trying to get home. I guess he saw I was scared.

He gave me a failure to obey a sign. $44, no points. I could have kissed his toes because my parents would have killed me if they found out.

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mackillian
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FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.

Exiting the highway down an offramp onto a highway connector. The speed limit drops to 45 right as you exit. Cop was waiting right there. I didn't even have time to react, so I didn't even bother with hitting my brakes because he must've already tagged me with the radar.

Dammit.

He gave me a ticket. [Wall Bash]

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Spektyr
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Hehe, the stories I could tell...

I've been pulled over, well more than a few times. Normally for a damn good reason. I'm male, I'm not quite "middle-aged", and I have the typical testosterone-ridden tendency to permit mood to dictate my driving habits.

When I'm mad, I drive fast.
When I'm happy, I drive fast.
When I'm looking for a bathroom, I drive fast.

Basically I just drive fast.

Heck, I used to street race habitually. (Never actually got pulled over for racing though - strange.)

The story in particular that sticks out in my brain as the most significant time I got pulled over was several years ago when I was in the Navy and stationed in Florida.

One of my fellow sailors and I got nominated to make a beer run. (I was stone sober.) We hop in my truck (1990 Nissan pickup with, shall we say "non-standard" equipment under the hood) and head off base to the liquor store because the NEX (Navy Exchange) was closed. I pull up to a red light, sit for a moment, then it turns green and I pull away. Rather quickly, but I don't break the speed limit. Unfortunately there was a small amount of sand on the pavement at the intersection and the rear tires broke loose for about a second. Quite a weak "squeal" considering what the truck was capable of. (Banshee-wailing starts with plenty of tire smoke, followed by impressive squealing at the 2nd and 3rd gear shifts).

No sooner than I cross the intersection than a squad car I hadn't seen is roaring up behind me. Then he follows me for another block before turning on his lights. I hate that. No, I hate that. "Gee, let's race up on the guy and see if we can make him nervous enough to do something else stupid."

He gets out, walks up to my door and does the standard "Lemme see your license and registration" thing. I hand him my license, registration, and military ID. He then throws the latter back into the truck through the window.

"Why'd you give me that?" he asks. "You think I'm going to give you some special treatment because you're in the military?"

"No, because I'm required under the Uniform Code of Military Justice to identify myself to any peace officers as a member of the United States Navy," I reply coldly.

Then he asks me why I was racing on the highway, to which I respond that I wasn't on the highway.

"What do you call that back there?" he says, pointing at the road I'd just pulled off.

"A street," I say.

"Don't argue with me," he shoots back.

"I'm not trying to argue, I just thought that highways were the big roads with the high speed limits, the ones you drive on to get across town fast or between cities," I explain.

"You thought wrong."

He then goes on to give me a ticket for "exhibition of speed".

I had the urge to redecorate his anatomy with my licensed Beretta 9mm I was illegally carrying under the front seat, but thankfully this was an easily controlled urge. The gun was legal, the way I was carrying it in the truck (loaded, chambered, safety on and under the front seat) was not legal. (It would have been legal if it was in the glovebox, though.) Plus the law does frown vehemently upon discharging a firearm at other people, particularly police officers no matter how mouthy they are.

Don't get me wrong - I don't hate cops.

I just hate that certain peope become cops. Particularly the "no one ever took me seriously so I'm gonna become a cop so I can boss people around" kind of cops. Those are the ones that give the rest of them a bad name.

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Spektyr
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Oh, and I dodged a ticket one time that probably would have gotten me arrested. Driving long-distance in the aforementioned hot-rod pickup...

I got caught in a slowdown for about an hour, doing 45 in a 65. Enormously frustrating. So when I finally got out into the clear I opened 'er up a bit. Or rather more than a bit.

I came up over the top of the hill and saw the lights coming from the other direction, took a look down and saw the speedometer pointing resolutely at what I guessed was 115 (the numbers stopped at 100).

I immediately downshifted and let the engine begin slowing me down until I reached 65. I then pulled into the far-right lane and waited for the cop. He'd made a wild U-turn and started racing up from behind when he turned off his lights. A few moments later he went by me so fast it nearly sucked my truck into the left lane.

All I can figure is that with the topper on it (I'd put it on because I was moving some stuff I didn't want to blow out) the truck looked enough like a "old man" kind of vehicle that the officer didn't believe I could have been the culprit who was hurtling along at solid triple-digits.

Needless to say I didn't repeat that performance for quite awhile.

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Frisco
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I can't even remember how many speeding tickets I've gotten in the 9 years I've had my license.

Luckily, they're spread out over eight states, so none of them have suspended my privileges. [Smile]

Strange thing is, I've made about two dozen coast-to-coast trips without ever receiving a ticket on one. And I've never gotten one in town. All 12 or 13 have been on short road trips. I no longer volunteer to drive on those.

I once got three tickets in two hours in three different states. Don't they realize that making me sit for half an hour just means I have to drive faster to make up for lost time?

Once, I lost my insurance card and got a ticket for it. Had to go to court for that one. The day after my hearing, with my brand new insurance card still in the pocket of the pants I wore to court, I got pulled over again.

I've gotten out of quite a few recently, though. Somebody mentioned it earlier, but it's always best to overestimate your speed.

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

Good answer: "145?" (works best in school zones)

Bad answer: "Not as fast as you were while you were chasing me."

I'm seriously considering putting one of those "Support your local law enforcement" stickers on my back window. Possibly more than one.

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Maccabeus
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Never been pulled over, though I haven't had a car longer than a couple of years. Hopefully I can match Mom's driving record--she was in her forties before she ever got a ticket. (They changed the speed limit on a familiar stretch of road and put the new sign behind some bushes. [Mad] )

So far my one encounter with cops was in a fender-bender near Fort Campbell. It was raining, we were driving through a construction zone, and the cars ahead suddenly slowed. My brakes didn't catch me quickly enough and I skidded (slowly) into the car in front of me. The woman driving leaped out of the car and began berating me, insisting we not move from where we were (in major traffic, in a single lane due to the construction). Not wanting to risk someone like that telling the police I had moved my vehicle to hide guilt, I stayed. No real consequences, not even much of a talking-to, despite the fact I had forgotten to switch insurance cards.

I suppose the woman was just afraid--I can understand the feeling, myself--but I really hated being screamed at. My car was more damaged than hers (bent bumper), and neither of us was hurt.

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Farmgirl
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Paul wrote:
quote:
Are you serious? Crap. Now I have to start carrying a gun to shoot cops with, instead of just saying they couldn't possibly know how fast I was going with. (Just kidding, me and Ice T aren't really Cop Killas.)
I was reading these stories along fine and really enjoying them, until I got to this, above. Paul, I KNOW you were only joking, but please realize that you did some serious hurt to me with those words. My dear daddy was a killed-in-the-line- of-duty cop (as has been mentioned before here). When people joke about things like that above it really, really hurts. I already have enough fights with my kids to turn off the "cop mode" on Grand Theft Auto.

Your statement just caught me so off guard that my defenses weren't up yet, as I was reading the stories, and it broke me.

I was going to share my funny "being stopped" story, but now I've lost my desire to do that....

Farmgirl

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ClaudiaTherese
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Farmgirl, I'm sorry. [Frown]

quote:
The woman driving leaped out of the car and began berating me, insisting we not move from where we were (in major traffic, in a single lane due to the construction). Not wanting to risk someone like that telling the police I had moved my vehicle to hide guilt, I stayed.
Per the advice of a police officer friend, my husband and I now carry a disposable camera in the glove compartment (for visual documentation of the scene).
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Farmgirl
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Thanks, CT

I hadn't even yet made it to Spektyr's post:
quote:
I had the urge to redecorate his anatomy with my licensed Beretta 9mm I was illegally carrying under the front seat
I think I will just stay off the list for a couple days until I get these emotions back under control. I'm physically SHAKING with emotion right now and can hardly type. It is always just so much harder around holiday time anyway without daddy....

I KNOW that no harm was meant by any of my friends here at Hatrack with these words. I know that in my head, but that feeling just hasn't made it to my heart yet. So give me a couple of days to sort out the emotions...

And Josh, don't use the Asperger's as the reason you posted the above unthinkingly. You were honestly posting what you did actually THINK at that moment in your life. (unless you are just needless bragging to make the story better). It is sad that you thought that.....

Farmgirl

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Dead_Horse
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Mack, I'd seriously think about sending Bob some nice Christmas cookies or something. He warned you about this back in June. [No No]
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mackillian
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*thwaps Bob*
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butterfly
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My driving history:

I've been driving for about 3 years almost and I've never gotten a ticket, which is actually really strange since I always speed when I'm going home from school or vice versa (usually up to 75 in a 65 unless it's raining; then i go 55) but then again I'm in California.

Here's my story:

I had to attend a seminar when I was 17 where I could learn about these scholarships for college. Even though I had my license for a couple of months by this time, I was still really nervous about driving anywhere I wasn't that familiar with, and it didn't help matters when I realized my dad was going out of town so I had to drive there by myself. I went to mapquest to get the freeway-less directions (at that time I was really freaked out by having to drive on freeways (I'm such a wimp)) and I made it there without any problems. To get there, I had to turn right, turn left, and then turn right again. When I started to go back home, I thought that it would be simple just to follow the directions except go backwards (left instead of right, etc.) but then apparently I missed a right turn somewhere so I ended up on this street that was pretty familiar since we go to the Costco there. I had an idea (not a good one, just an idea) on how to get home if I took the freeway. Except, I was freaked out by the freeway and just decided to go straight instead of turning right which would've led me to the freeway (which was scary anyway since you have to switch four lanes to get onto the freeway or otherwise you would end up driving the maze of the airport since that was right next to the Costco). So I keep on driving on this road, which was right next to the freeway so I could see from the signs on the freeway that I was going in the right direction (south). So while I'm driving, I see that this police car is following me so I stick straight to the speed limit at 35 mph. He follows me for about a mile or two (at which time I'm checking my mirror and my spedometer every 30 seconds) and finally decides to turn right. Unfortunately, that was also the turn that would've taken me home because I know that road, but instead I went straight. Finally I realize that I've gone too far and I make a bunch of turns (having no idea what the heck I'm doing and for all I know could've landed up in Mexico). I finally end up on this street in the city directly south of mine (my high school was on the street that was the border between the two cities) that I realized would hit the main road, which I knew how to get home from. Unfortunatly, I was in the left turn lane and almost ran a red light getting into the right lane. From there, I got home all right and called my dad in Taiwan to tell him what happened (unfortunately I think I woke him up because of the time difference) and halfway through the story he asked me why I didn't just put on my emergency lights so the policeman would know I was in trouble and could just lead me home. Geez, I almost had a breakdown and I could've just done that.

The End.

PS: That must have been my longest post ever. [Big Grin]

[ December 06, 2003, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: butterfly ]

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Bob_Scopatz
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Well, Bob's got no room to talk. He got a speeding ticket for going 81 in a 65 in Kansas on the way home from Caleb's.

[Grumble]

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Spektyr
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Farmgirl, you're making some key misinterpretations here. First off (at least in my case) the violent thoughts weren't spawned because the guy was a police officer, but because he was a flaming jerk-off. Of course the fact that he was a cop, and I was therefore powerless to speak my mind or argue with him in any way, I was far more frustrated and angry than I would have been in most situations. But I wasn't thinking "Gee, maybe I should shoot this guy because he's a cop." I was thinking "This guy is a Class-A bonehead who's having fun making my life more difficult than he actually has to in the execution of his duties. It would be nice if I could fight back."

The other misinterpretation is a common one between women and men. It has to do with the way the two sexes deal with stressful confrontations. Men are far more prone to have thoughts of violent solutions - which they by and large do not act upon - than women are. We're much more prone to saying things like "I could just kill that guy," and entertain ourselves with graphic imagination of the various scenarios we could theoretically enact, but those of us who are even marginally civilized realize that these are merely indulgences and not viable solutions.

I'm sorry about what happened to your father. Truly I am. I would just caution you against transfering too much of that event on what other people say. While I understand the sore point behind it, I personally would not do it because it creates a significant wall between oneself and others. I've lost friends and family in ways that come up in polite conversation from time to time, but instead of trying to make people conform to the events of my life and never mention things that might remind me of those losses, I accept the fact that my emotions belong only to me and other people have no responsibility for unintentional flares in my memory.

But that's just the way I feel about it.

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Farmgirl
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Spektyr said:
quote:
I would just caution you against transfering too much of that event on what other people say. While I understand the sore point behind it, I personally would not do it because it creates a significant wall between oneself and others.
You are absolutely right, and I sincerely apologize for my emotional reaction to your statement.

Part of the scary thing of the emotions I felt when I read this thread Saturday was the fact that I DID have a reaction. I pride myself on not being an "emotional female" -- have worked hard for 20 years to keep emotions under total control. (That's how I've stayed successfully single for 12 years). I'm known around here for having a very thick skin -- very hard to offend. So the fact that I had a tremendous reaction when I read the two posts was a surprise to me, which probably compounded the feeling.

I had come to work on my "on call" Saturday, which meant I was in the building all by myself, and just kicking back, reading Hatrack posts in total quiet. It was a lot like having you all in the room with me, sipping coffee, talking and joking. For some reasons those two posts caught me off-guard -- the whole idea of murderous thoughts in the heads of my friends?

But as I reflected back on it over the weekend, I had to ask myself whether I had ever had a murderous thought before -- sure I have. (especially toward my ex-brother in law for the way he treated my sister). So I am guilty of those thoughts too. I probably have just never felt like writing them down, so graphically, because as a Christian I know it is wrong to think them, so I try to not record such a thing. But I'm human, and I am obviously no better than any of you, and have had similar thoughts.

I've lost other people close to me in various ways, and conversations of that type of thing has never bothered me before. I am usually pretty thick skinned, too, about this particular topic -- which obviously comes up now and then across society.

So I apologize for my emotional over-reacting. I very sincerely want all members here to feel free to post whatever is on their mind, without having to feel like there are things they can't share with friends.

Because of the length of this reply, I was going to send it to you via private e-mail, but thought perhaps it would be better to go ahead and post it, so list members would know the issue is resolved, no hard feelings all the way around.

[Kiss] (kiss and make up) (LOL)

Farmgirl

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Frisco
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Rod's going to be jealous. [Wink]
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Farmgirl
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[ROFL] <---Frisco

I guess I'm going to have to have Ralphie remove that picture..... <grin>

FG

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Frisco
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Nah...foobonic's not really a family album. [Smile]

You might find it wise to steer clear of any beastiality threads in the near future, though. [Razz]

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Spektyr
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Don't be too hard on yourself,Farmgirl. Keeping one's emotions under control is certainly an important skill, but remember that control doesn't preclude having emotions. It just means that you evaluate before acting on them.

I too am a Christian, but I normally don't advertise it or even publically assosiate myself with that religion. I don't ever deny it - I just don't feel comfortable with the instantaneous stereotype many people get in their heads about "people like that". I don't attend church either, but that whole thing is a matter for an entirely different discussion. The point I'm trying to make here is that I firmly believe that the human mind is only marginally controlled by the human consciousness. Having homicidal or violent thoughts isn't wrong in and of itself. It's a matter of how you perceive them in your mind and what you do when you have them.

In my case I view it as a method to release stress in a socially-acceptable manner. I entertain the daydream of dismemberment (or whatever action I feel appropriate), follow it through to the logical conclusion (being apprehended by law enforcement) and decide that the person in question is actually not worth spending the rest of my life in jail over. This way I can "enjoy" the entertainment of the darker thoughts, release the tension of the moment, and move on constructively instead of obsessing over whatever perceived wrongs were done to me.

Now if on the other hand someone obsessively maintains such thoughts, whether they act on them or not - this is a prime indication that professional psychiatric help should be sought. I'm not sure exactly what is "wrong" with such a person, but my first thought would be "a great many things".

However, I feel that trying to classify certain innate, instinctive mental processes as "good" or "evil" is a little self-destructive. I could be wrong about this and the Big Guy may tell me so when I meet him but for now, with the perceptive abilities available to me I don't feel that thoughts are inherently wrong or right. It's far more important how one acts on them both mentally and physically.

When people talk about how great military health care is, it instantly reminds me of a young lady I was in love with that is not around anymore, thanks directly to that system. I recognize that the system itself was not nearly as responsible as her specific doctor(s), that the pain of loss that I feel is more a testament to the love we shared - not a "bad" feeling, and that the person who brought up the topic may very well have had many positive experiences related to it. It takes about the span of a single, deep breath to cover the spectrum of thought, and I can then listen quietly and wait for an opportunity to change the subject.

I guess the point I'm making is that your emotional response wasn't "wrong". If something hurts you, it hurts you. You've got a right to your emotions. It's more an issue of trying to understand whether the pain was caused intentionally or not, and then structuring the best response. In the case of this thread, the line between whether what others (myself included) said was "okay" or not is hard to place. I think it was very close, but not quite over the line. My goal in sharing the "dark" thoughts was to make a connection, to strike a familiar chord in other people since everyone has them from time to time. Looking back I can see how it was perhaps a little insensitive, but I stand by it as not being inappropriate for casual conversation.

So in essence I agree with your reevaluation of your stance, but not entirely with the way you did it. Not that it's any of my business, mind you. Just giving my thoughts and advice. I'm no expert, I'm no priest. I'm just a guy who pays attention to a lot of different things, so take the thoughts and advice for what they're worth. If they work for you, great. If not, toss them out.

[ December 09, 2003, 05:11 AM: Message edited by: Spektyr ]

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