posted
I gotta give props to the people in the Double Standard thread for thinking of this...we've needed a thread for this a long time.
You guys are right...girls get too much of the burden and too much of the cutting-down when it comes to staying chaste, or at least having safe sex.
We need to talk about guys...now.
Why do guys think it's more attractive or cool to sleep around as much as possible? Are there girls that dig that? I think the right kind of girls are looking for faithful guys, and that's more attractive.
What can be done, now, to deprogram the male brain, and REPROGRAM it to be kind, faithful and loving to females?
(Obviously I'm not talking about the men here at Hatrack...we know you're all true blue!)
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I think there need to be commercials on MTV with attractive women saying that they like guys who haven't slept around and that "playas" are a real turn-off.
Posts: 1547 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I like the std-testing commercial where the girl is sitting on the bed and the guy walks up to her and walks right into a see-through wall.
Posts: 9057 | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
eeeerrrrrrrrrgggg. I refuse to have to spend my life trying to tame one of those stupid goons. I'd rather bring a timber wolf in my house than some dumb behind man. If i must have one, he should be housebroken already. But I have other options.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Well, my opinion on men and women is highly religious in nature.
It seems like the great struggle for men in life is to separate the two halves: the natural man and the godly man. Brain/soul vs. penis and biceps.
Whereas it seems like the feminine challenge is to be totally integreted. One of the most divine (I'm not saying pleasant or easy, I mean spiritually significant) experiences in a woman's life is also the most animal: giving birth.
I feel for men, really, and for the internal divisions they seem to struggle with.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
That's pretty true. Women often want to be the best of both worlds...very mental and spiritual, and yet also natural. But guys have to decide when it's the best time to be one or the other. Spiritual in loving your family, natural in protecting it.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Yeah... I got married as a teenager, and I am so surprised by what I ddon't know about men.
One of the most surprising is how much the male ego is bound up in the job or career.
You can tell a man he's a wonderful husband, a great dad, a fantastic lover, the light of your life, and (for you churchy people out there) a good soul, but none of it seems to matter if their job sucks.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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I think men, really, are more emotional than women are. Gals can be so much more practical about emotional situations; guys are led by very strong feelings.
I mean that in a nice way, guys. That's good thing.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Nathan, you remind me so much of this guy I had a huge crush on in High School...it's not even funny. He says he's never getting married either...it's weird how everything you say reminds me of him.
And you thought you were so original. Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
The motivating factor behind men, I steadily insist, is inadequacy. But, still, on a recent poll on what's most important in a partner, women ranked chastity as dead last. They clearly want someone experienced. And someone with a lot of experience is, like as not, going to be a real son of a bitch, as far as women are concerned. Some men who sleep around (which is pretty much all of them) claim they're not materialistic and insensitive, to which one could reply, "Then why aren't you still with her? Or the one after that?"
Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Yeah, chastity was number 18 out of 18. Sexual pleasure is a big thing, and I guess they want to be able to count it in minutes.
Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Because that would give some seriously skewed results. If you are looking for just a buddy, then your criteria is going to be wildly different than if your looking for something else.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
Virgin boys are cute. There is something so... endearing about a guy saving it for the right and special woman (or man in some cases) It's just... nice... Like that guy in Terminator 1. Wasn't he wonderful?
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
In a few months I am going to turn thirty. Barring any mind-shatteringly amazing turn of events, I will do so as a virgin.
It's not that I don't want to have sex. Whoa howdy, trust me, it's not that. Nor is it that I haven't had the opportunity. It's that I decided a long time ago to wait until marriage for sex, and I haven't found the right person yet.
So I'm a virginal, intensely heterosexual, average-looking, fairly bright, ridiculously over-educated, stable guy who has never cheated on a girlfriend and is looking for a long-term relationship. And I'm about to turn thirty without it.
Double standards seem to cut both ways, eh?
Posts: 1068 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
The unfortunate phrase comes to mind about nobody wanting to buy a cow that gives free milk.
My bishop believes that men are given a stron g sexual drive so that they'll get married. This presupposes a strong enough sense of male honor that they'll want to get their goodies from the legal snack shop.
Based on the evidence I live with, I'd agree.
I think it's amaaaazing how men can seperate sex and love, though. I.e., how men can sleep with bed material but will marry wife material, and rarely the twain shall meet.
I had a friend who got pregnant by an RM who didn't want to marry her because she was a woman pregnant outside of marriage, and way below his standards.
Of course, then there was the other girl, who, when asked by her bishop if she'd consider marrying her baby's father, said, "I couldn't marry him! He smokes!"
I guess hypocrites are hypocrites, no matter what the sex. The difference being, like PSI said, that women bear the brunt (and the children) of both male and female foolishness.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote: Nathan, you remind me so much of this guy I had a huge crush on in High School...it's not even funny. He says he's never getting married either...it's weird how everything you say reminds me of him.
And you thought you were so original.
1. You expect me to rush in here saying something like "lets have sex." That stung the eensiest bit, but the only person I have to blame for that image is myself, I suppose.
2. So, the image you have of me is like a guy you had a crush on in High School. So, you had a crush on a guy that would walk around asking girls for sex or something? If so, its a little bit of an answer to your original post.
3. I don't claim to be original. I just claim to be me. But then again... did HE ever where orange tights? I don't think so. Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
This thread is kind of disapointing. But I guess just yesterday I decided that male hatred is a way the powers that be keep women from grasping for any real power in the world. Yeah, sure, raising the kids is the real power but a lot of folks don't even raise their own kids anymore. And wasn't there just and anti-anti-Chris thread? This is so weird...
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Which person is hating males? I know I don't. I respect and love them. Which post, specifically, disappoints?
Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Men are so beautiful and adorable when they are not acting stupid. And the same can be said of women. I don't hate them. I just hate the stupid ones.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Really, I think a lot of problems come about because women hate femininity, as taught to them by other women and some men. I've often (especially at high school and coolege) felt the pressure to despise housework and mock motherhood and to try to be just like the guys.
So many girls complain about how horrible pedestals are (even my husband says that men put women on pedestals so they can look up their skirts) but I wish they were still around. I wish some women hadn't complained about having doors opened for them or seats given up to them.
I think women demanding not to be treated like ladies has yielded the unsurprisingly result of women not being treated like ladies.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
What is feminimity? (sp) I think I am techically in some ways not a woman because I never primp or get all gussied up
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
My opinion, because no one asked ( ) this is where the media is doing harm, not in violent video games. If you see sitcoms where men are just after sex all the time, where men are judged by how often they "get some", if you see them enough you will believe it. At least if you don't know any better. I really think parents have stopped trying to teach their children differently from television (not mine, parents in general). They feel freedom of choice means lack of input, when it should mean instruction and than freedom of action. Now most of the moral instruction children are recieving is from the media, and let's face it, most of that is copmletely stereotypical.
I don't think that just blanket attacking media is very productive, and if that's all the problem was, there probably wouldn't be a problem. Parents need to spend time with their children and teach them things. Things like morality and not being forced into any stereotype. Making good choices, things like this. You better believe my kids are going to get sick of me telling them I'll love them no matter how they choose but I'll be happier if they choose right.
posted
Femininity in the sense that women have the babies, not men, and that it's okay to be a mom. And okay and even desirable to be a woman, with all the differences that entails, instead of trying to be a man.
Not primping. Even men primp. That's just vanity. Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
But does that mean that I have to wear a dress and wear pink? Hobbes, excellent points. It's what I hate about these sitcoms >.<
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Nathan, I'm thinking she had to have gotten you confused with someone else. That's SO not the image you project.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I agree with those who are saying that sitcoms are not only unfunny, but wildly inaccurate in reflecting human nature.
One thing that was finally told to me...The reason there is a stereotype that guys can't commit is because they won't commit lightly. I don't know if it was this thread or the other one, but I agree with whoever said that guys are the real romantics, in general. It's much scarier and more hesitating to say things like I love you and to commit when it is irrevocable and you fall completely. Also, most guys outside of sheer exploration years are SO much happier in a stable relationship. Especially once they have gotten used to a good one, they fall apart without it.
posted
Sitcom? Is that what comes on before Farscape?
Anyway, I don't think boys over the age of 15 or so sleep around in order to laugh about it in the locker room. They do it because they like it.
I don't think there's anything sexist to assert that, outside of a mutually committed relationship, it's the woman's job to entice the man into monogamy. The principle running both ways, naturally -- in order to counteract the old axiom "boyfriends are obstacles, not barriers," the man needs to be confident in his own self-worth lest he devolve into clinginess.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Ok, serious reply time. Quick local survey: the biggest "hunk" among my group of close friends is a Marshall Scholar with 2 published CS journal articles and a bunch of international robotics championships. The top candidate on my internal list of (female) cuties is a double-major with a singing voice like an angel. The stupidest people I've run into at college were also the ones who never learned important definitions like "shower" and "razor."
Of course, as any such comparison will demonstrate, the plural of anecdote is not "data." Do what we advise smart guys to do when they start to get dishearted at the state of the world: turn off the TV, stop going to crappy bars, pick up a new hobby, and keep your eyes open.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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