FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » 50 Reasons Why LOTR Sucks (Page 1)

  This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4   
Author Topic: 50 Reasons Why LOTR Sucks
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I used to love LOTR. Now I've seen the light.

(If this has already been posted, don't tell me and pretend it's the first time you've seen it.)

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
hee hee...

I'm watching FOTR right now.

[Big Grin]

Posts: 22496 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Belle
Member
Member # 2314

 - posted      Profile for Belle   Email Belle         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I watched Two Towers last night.

quote:
Elrond's character was clearly based on Agent Smith from the Matrix
[Evil Laugh] [Evil Laugh] [Evil Laugh]

[Hail] Thank you Ralphie!

Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LOVE AND PEACE
New Member
Member # 6455

 - posted      Profile for LOVE AND PEACE           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
heh, funny. i like his other articles more though. and his 'apology' rocked.
Posts: 4 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ooooh - an enslaved California Grape. Makes it all worth-while, Belle. [Smile]
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Raia
Member
Member # 4700

 - posted      Profile for Raia   Email Raia         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Half of these are completely ridiculous. To the point of no longer being funny. Some are good, but others such as:

quote:
Homage or theft II?

The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.

are awful. Umm, that's nice. Too bad LOTR came before Harry Potter! [Wall Bash]
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

 - posted      Profile for Derrell   Email Derrell         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*hopes Ralphie doesn't really think LOTR sucks*

*may have to find someone else to stalk*

Ralphie, you do realize I'm just kidding, right?

*puts lid back on trash can and walks away, whistling innocently*

Some of those 50 points were pretty funny.

[ April 25, 2004, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: Derrell ]

Posts: 4529 | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Raia - It's parody, sweetie. It's not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.

Derell - It's about TIME someone stalked me 4 rills. I was beginning to think I was completely unstalkable material.

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

 - posted      Profile for Derrell   Email Derrell         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You, unstalkable? Perish the thought. By the way, is there someone in your life who might object to you being stalked? [Angst] You know, a boyfriend, husband, significant other.

[Hail] Ralphie

Posts: 4529 | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John L
Member
Member # 6005

 - posted      Profile for John L           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
12. Return of the Living Dead.

In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.


13. Did someone say plot hole?

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.


14. The Battle Droid Syndrome.

The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective fighters, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human. Apparently they made the beasts by crossing Orcs, Goblins and the French.

I'm convinced.
Posts: 779 | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SoberTillNoon
Member
Member # 6170

 - posted      Profile for SoberTillNoon   Email SoberTillNoon         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Umm, I think that guy just has a little too much free time on his hands. I mean, it is a fantisy movie. There is a little area for the supernatural in a movie about magic.
Posts: 262 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
To reiterate.

It's parody. It's not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Primal Curve
Member
Member # 3587

 - posted      Profile for Primal Curve           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Holy crap. Hatrack has been infected by the serious. I think it needs a strong dose of the funny.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Annie
Member
Member # 295

 - posted      Profile for Annie   Email Annie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh come on, Primal Curve. We're just serious fans defending our serious fandom. This guy is a freaking moron omigosh.

Also, rings do not turn you invisible.

Posts: 8503 | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're right, Annie.

Let's send a letter of protest to the writer.

WE CANNOT STAND 4 THIS!!1

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beren One Hand
Member
Member # 3403

 - posted      Profile for Beren One Hand           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Why couldn't Gandalf have been played by Bruce Campbell?
You know, I've often wondered that myself. [Razz]
Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Suneun
Member
Member # 3247

 - posted      Profile for Suneun   Email Suneun         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
you folks that didn't get the intentional absurdity... you should be ashamed of yourselves!

[Big Grin]

tres-funny, ralphie. thanks for linking. (btw, i typed "ralphia" first, and corrected it. What do you think, ralphia?)

Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Fitz
Member
Member # 4803

 - posted      Profile for Fitz   Email Fitz         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sure, that was pretty funny. 50 Reasons to Reject The Matrix, however, is hysterical.

quote:
19. The Matrix: Reconsidered, 4

You've worked as a policeman your whole life, protecting the innocent, enforcing the law. You retire with honors, then take a job as a security guard, working the metal detector on the ground floor of a skyscraper in order to help pay for your wife's arthritis medication. You're sitting there, on a slow day, reading your newspaper, when a girl walks in wearing a trenchcoat. She issues no demands, no warnings, no "freeze" or "drop your gun." She just tears you in half with a spray of machine-gun fire, then does cartwheels along the walls while killing all your friends.

Somewhere, faintly, you can hear a theater audience cheering.


Posts: 1854 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sal
Member
Member # 3758

 - posted      Profile for Sal           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ralphie, I can't believe you put a link to something so defamatory of LOTR on Hatrack! Don't you know we're all fans here? So what if the movies have been made into books? Actually, I seriously suggest you read those, it might help you understand the movies after all! Gah!
Posts: 1045 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818

 - posted      Profile for Dagonee           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have to agree with one thing - every movie can be made better by adding a character played by Bruce Cambpell!

Dagonee

Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SoberTillNoon
Member
Member # 6170

 - posted      Profile for SoberTillNoon   Email SoberTillNoon         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, it is not even parody. It is in no way, shape, or form funny. It is downright stupid. The amount of times it is self contradictory is insane. I CANNOT TAKE IT!
Posts: 262 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818

 - posted      Profile for Dagonee           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Doctor, doctor! We need an emergency sense of humor infusion stat!
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sal
Member
Member # 3758

 - posted      Profile for Sal           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, there was this person trying to tell me the other day that some sort of LOTR story had been around BEFORE the movies came out, you just had to know where to look for it. How stupid is that?

I mean how could anybody POSSIBLY come up with all these great creatures and geographies and ideas and plot twists BEFORE having seen the movie?

[Grumble]

Posts: 1045 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
odouls268
Member
Member # 2145

 - posted      Profile for odouls268   Email odouls268         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Gee, I wonder what will bring Rocky out of retirement this time?
There actually is a sixth Rocky movie in the works. Wild eh?
Of course, I, a Rocky lover, will be referring to this sixth Rocky movie as Rocky Five, since the fetid conglomeration of goat dung that has been masquerading as Rocky five is little more than a fetid conglomeration of goat dung.

Posts: 2532 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jebus202
Member
Member # 2524

 - posted      Profile for jebus202   Email jebus202         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Fellowship of the Rings and Two Towers were shoved down our throats.

I've heard some students are even forced to read some novelization of the movie in their literature classes. Ridiculous. Does Hollywood run our classrooms now?

Hello? The books came out about half a century before the movies, get your facts straight bud.

quote:
Greed.

Hollywood can't make a movie these days without crapping out a sequel the next year to squeeze more money out of the sheep. Guess what; there's ANOTHER LOTR movie coming this Christmas. Gee, I wonder what will bring Rocky out of retirement this time?

::sigh:: That is the way the author wrote them, in three parts, it has nothing to with money. It would have been too hard to release them all in one.

quote:
They switched Darrens on us!

Look closely in Fellowship and you'll notice the human member of their party is played by two different actors at different points of the movie (it takes a sharp eye to notice, but one of them has red hair, one black).

Oh my god, this guy is so dense. There are two completely diffrent human characters played by two completely diffrent actors. [Roll Eyes]

quote:
Racism.

Percentage of protagonists in Fellowship who are white: 100. Meanwhile the black antagonists and their black crow spies and their black glass seeing ball inhabit their black towers and perform black magic. Gosh, I wonder if there's some symbolism there?

Now you're just being silly. It's supposed to be based on England in the Middle Ages. There weren't a whole load of black people back then. And darkness and black colours have always been associated with evil.

quote:
Gold: The Stretchy Element.

The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.

Yes! IT IS A MAGICAL WORLD! [Mad]

quote:
Violence.

Give me one reason that story couldn't have been told without all the fighting.

Fair enough, perhaps that did set a bad example.

quote:
Return of the Living Dead.

In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.

Peter Jackson just made it look like they were being stabbed to add suspense. You then see the wraiths ripping off the bed sheets to reveal the hobbits weren't actually there, but in another room across the street.

quote:
Did someone say plot hole?

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

Haha, wise guy. That's not a plot hole at all.

quote:
Sloppy CGI.

Gandalf's smoke boat at Bilbo's party is pretty impressive, but smoke cannot be made to travel horizontally, thus revealing it to be nothing but a cheap special effect.

AGAIN IT IS A MAGICAL WORLD!

quote:
The Asbestos Wizard.

We all saw Gandalf fall into the molten core of Middle Earth after his battle with the firebeast thing in part 1. Well, I guess the Gandalf action figure must have sold well, because in the slap-together sequel Two Towers, Gandalf is back. Perhaps it was voodoo, a la the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's II (look closely and you'll notice LOTR steals several elements from the WAB films).

There's just so much wrong with this one. As I've said before the books were written HALF A CENTURY BEFORE THE MOVIES WERE MADE. Gandalf was ALWAYS planned to be in the sequels, it had nothing to do with his action figure sales.

quote:
Invisible Implausibility.

Every time Frodo or Bilbo went invisible with the ring they should have also gone BLIND. Your eyes cannot function unless light is reflected off the cornea. If light passes through it (as must be the case with invisibility) sight is no longer possible. Also, rings do not turn you invisible.

MAGICAL WORLD! MAGICAL WORLD! MAGICAL WORLD!

quote:
The Asbestos Wizard, II.

The giant fire beast thing at the end of part 1 was breathing a firey breath hot enough to send heat-distortion waves through the air. The sheer temperature of the air should have burned off Gandalf's beard and eyebrows. None of my reading on evolutionary biology reveals a single reason why a particular race of humans would develop unflammable facial hair as this would provide practically no advantage in either survival or mating.

[Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] MAGIC!

quote:
I'll have to rent that one.

The rushed-through story the screenwriter threw in as the first ten minutes of Fellowship of the Ring looked a lot more interesting than the movie we were forced to watch. Why didn't somebody make a movie off that instead?

Maybe you should go read it instead, you idiot. It's called The Hobbit.

quote:
Magic Mechanics.

Experts on the occult say in order for a wizard to floorspin a fully-grown man like Gandalf, he'd need three magical staffs, not two.

I have trouble believing someone like you would do any research into the matter full stop.

quote:
Finders, keepers.

So Bilbo, who we are supposed to identify with as a protagonist, finds a piece of someone else's jewelry and just keeps it for himself? That's funny, because I would expect a good man to submit it to the local Lost and Found so it could be claimed by its owner. It makes me wonder if he bought that hillside house or if he was just squatting.

Uuuhh, that's funny, I didn't know they had local Lost and Founds in the middle of an orc-infested mountain!

quote:
Go-Go Gadget Arrow Sprouter.

Legolas shoots arrow after arrow at his enemies, and yet the number of arrows in his quiver never decreases. I guess elves have glands on their back that secrete arrows.

Is it, perhaps, possible that he picked up the arrows he shot? They wouldn't have been too hard to find inside the skull of an orc.

quote:
Watch out! He's going to explode!

The heroes are shown eating again and again, and yet no one ever goes to the bathroom throughout their entire quest.

What!? They don't show every single little detail!

quote:
Meesa gonna make theesa movie suckah!

The character of Gollum in The Two Towers was entirely computer animated (a cheap effort to cash in on Jar Jar Binks Mania) but was just a dim shadow of George Lucas' effort. Thank you, Peter Jackson. Thank you right to Hell.

Jar Jar Binks Mania? What the heck?

quote:
Speaking of Elves...

Elves are beautiful and wise and tall? Great warriors? Makers of fine lightweight weapons? Our modern knowledge of elves has observed only an ability to make cookies and toys. All the elves in the film are portrayed as living in a warm paradise (Rivendell) but our own information tells us the aforementioned group of toymaking elves work and thrive in the arctic. Hey, Mr. Jackson: Research is half of writing.

Exactly, you hypocrite.

quote:
Homage or theft?

The "happy village of little people" idea was stolen from Willow.

Homage or theft II?

The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.

Homage or theft III?

The "travelling on our quest through a corn field" scene was stolen from Shrek.

Homage or theft IV?

The character of the rebellious-but-helpful Ranger was stolen from Val Kilmer in Willow.

Homage or theft VI?

The "old man looking through the door hatch at the approaching little people" scene was stolen from A Clockwork Orange.

Homage or theft VII?

The cantina scene with a noisy bar filled with a mix of otherworldly species was stolen from Cecile B. DeMille's One Night in an Alien Bar.

Homage or theft IX?

The character of the Giant Evil Flaming All-Seeing Eye was based on former President Jimmy Carter.

Homage or theft X?

The character of Elrond was based on Agent Smith from The Matrix.

Lord of the Rings was a story before all those things, so it couldn't have been theft.

quote:
Realism, schmealism.

Liv Tyler's immortal elf volunteers to give up her eternal life for a single romance with a human man. Could any man really be that well endowed? I find it unlikely.

Perhaps, you twit, the relationship was based on more than just sex.

quote:
Too many notes, III.

Too many characters to keep track of. The dwarf was clearly only there as a token dwarf character to sell tickets to lucrative movie-going dwarf demographic. Lose him.

Uh, no. He was part of the fellowship as thought up by the author of the original books, J.R.R. Tolkien.

quote:
The Shoeless Land.

The Hobbits both 1) refuse to wear shoes and 2) run a livestock-based farming economy. Wouldn't they constantly be stepping in crap? Why doesn't the movie address this issue?

Because it's stupid, much like you.


quote:
What's that smell?

As bad as the Lucasfilm leaks were with his last film, the filmmakers of Return of the King already have the novelization out in paperback. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble already. As if we needed any less of a reason to go see it.

Once again you prove yourself to be an ignorant dope. Get a clue.

[ April 25, 2004, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: jebus202 ]

Posts: 3563 | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sal
Member
Member # 3758

 - posted      Profile for Sal           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[ROFL]
Posts: 1045 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wait... Jebus - are you being ironic?

Don't tell me Jebus was hit repeatedly by the obtuse stick, too.

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jebus202
Member
Member # 2524

 - posted      Profile for jebus202   Email jebus202         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Huh?
Posts: 3563 | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eruve Nandiriel
Member
Member # 5677

 - posted      Profile for Eruve Nandiriel   Email Eruve Nandiriel         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
50 Reasons Why LOTR Sucks
[Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] [Mad]
Why I oughta...

Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heffaji
Member
Member # 3669

 - posted      Profile for Heffaji   Email Heffaji         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Some people truly need a sarcasm machine.
Posts: 291 | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jon Boy
Member
Member # 4284

 - posted      Profile for Jon Boy           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wow. Jebus's parody was even better than the real parody.

Oh, and the comparison of LOTR, Star Wars, and the Matrix was awesome.

Posts: 9944 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eruve Nandiriel
Member
Member # 5677

 - posted      Profile for Eruve Nandiriel   Email Eruve Nandiriel         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ok, it was funny.
But even the suggestion that LOTR sucks... [No No]

Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scott R
Member
Member # 567

 - posted      Profile for Scott R   Email Scott R         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I hated the way Peter Jackson pandered to the Hollywood liberals by naming the second film, 'The Two Towers.'

I didn't think our country could stand much more taunting after 9/11, but pinko-Jackson has to go and slander the worst tragedy since Pearl Harbor.

Someone get that man a Lenin t-shirt.

Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sarcasm
Member
Member # 4653

 - posted      Profile for Sarcasm           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*cough cough*

*wheeze*

I don't think I'm going to pull through, guys. I feel so old, so weak and frail. The world is going dark. I'm so afraid . . .

*cough*

Farewell, cold, cruel world!

*dies*

Posts: 276 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SoberTillNoon
Member
Member # 6170

 - posted      Profile for SoberTillNoon   Email SoberTillNoon         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you Jebus, thank you.
Posts: 262 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Wow. Jebus's parody was even better than the real parody.
I want to believe it. I really do.
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
StallingCow
Member
Member # 6401

 - posted      Profile for StallingCow   Email StallingCow         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The mind boggles.

I'm going to go wander off now.

[Angst]

Posts: 106 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Far
New Member
Member # 5944

 - posted      Profile for Far           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
http://handbook.sevspace.com/movies/fotr.shtml

I'm not sure if I linked this correctly, but I found this FOTR criticism a lot funnier. It also sounds like it may have been written by someone who has read the book.

Also good job jebus202.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
imogen
Member
Member # 5485

 - posted      Profile for imogen   Email imogen         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My mind is boggling also.

I suspect for entirely different reasons. (Edit - Actually, I just saw that was Matt's post, not SoberTillNoon's. Probably the same reason in that case).

Did anyone read the apology? Mildly amusing.

quote:
And I understand your frustration. I understand your anger. After all, it was I who had Old Man Murray shut down after I found curse words on their site. I myself remember writing a negative Titanic review in 1997 and receiving a storm of protest from the Leo DiCaprio Worshippers Guild, the North American Billy Zaniacs and the International Union of People Who Love Crap.

But I have a right to my opinions. This website has won numerous awards for online journalism; I blew the lid off the faking of Tupac Shakur's death a full two years before the mainstream media caught on. I have an Associate's Degree. Don't take this the wrong way, but that means in this world my opinion counts for a little bit more than yours does. I don't mean that in a bad way at all; it's just one of those facts of life.

I guess what I'm saying is that regardless of which piece of popular entertainment has been insulted, we don't have to load up on beatsticks and travel half way around the world every time we see someone disagreeing with us. A dog barking at a man is a dog. A man who stops to bark back probably doesn't have anywhere to be that morning



[ April 25, 2004, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: imogen ]

Posts: 4392 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Megachirops
Member
Member # 4325

 - posted      Profile for Megachirops           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Nope. Sorry, Far. Ralphie's was a LOT funnier.

Welcome, though! (Sort of . . . )
[Wave]

[ April 25, 2004, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: Megachirops ]

Posts: 1001 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

 - posted      Profile for Derrell   Email Derrell         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes, Ralphie's was funnier. [Hail] Ralphie
Posts: 4529 | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jon Boy
Member
Member # 4284

 - posted      Profile for Jon Boy           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dear Ralphie,

I just wanted to commend you on the superb link (even though it has been posted before) and on your invention of the obtuse stick. It's these sort of contributions that make you a valuable part of the Hatrack community. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

Jon Boy

Posts: 9944 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ralphie
Member
Member # 1565

 - posted      Profile for Ralphie   Email Ralphie         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dear Jon Boy,

Thanks! It's been a rewarding career here at Hatrack, and I strive to do my part. You've been funny before, too, though! Give credit where it may actually at some point have been due!

Hope things are going well.

Write soon.

-Ralphie

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Megachirops
Member
Member # 4325

 - posted      Profile for Megachirops           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Hey, Mr. Eminem. Standing still and moving your arms slightly is not dancing.

There is no question in my mind that any performer who won't take the time to learn the art of dance should not be allowed to sign a record deal. To quote Farquitheus:

The rod of joy smites the male
Whose limbs hath flail
Jump! Flail! Jump! Flail!
I have soiled myself.

*snort*

[Big Grin]

Posts: 1001 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Da_Goat
Member
Member # 5529

 - posted      Profile for Da_Goat           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think the counter-arguments the LOTR fans present in the forums are the best part.
quote:
Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

~Shes an elf. SHe is the elf princess. Shes magic. Like all elves.

I thought it was funny that he didn't even mention the parodical sexist comment and came up with a nearly-unrelated argument.

But I like the Eminem article better.
quote:
When played backwards, several of Eminem's songs reveal curse words, including several instances of the word cr*p.


[ April 26, 2004, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Da_Goat ]

Posts: 2292 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kama
Member
Member # 3022

 - posted      Profile for Kama   Email Kama         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Marry me, jebus.
Posts: 5699 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beren One Hand
Member
Member # 3403

 - posted      Profile for Beren One Hand           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm going to run around all day shouting, "MAGICAL WORLD! MAGICAL WORLD!"

Yup, it is going to be a good Monday.

Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

 - posted      Profile for Frisco           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm gonna go ahead and pretend jebus was joking around, too. [Big Grin]

MAGICAL WORLD! [Mad]

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pooka
Member
Member # 5003

 - posted      Profile for pooka   Email pooka         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Millions of copies of the LOTR DVDs have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, guys.
If you all don't get this one, you probably shouldn't have read any further [Laugh] Letterboxing. My mother in law asked my husband if he knew how to fix their TV so "it didn't do that".
Posts: 11012 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206

 - posted      Profile for BannaOj   Email BannaOj         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
omg Ralphie you have been away for way to long. You need to whip these jatraqueros back into some sort of ironic shape!

AJ

Posts: 11264 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2