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The mirror we have is soft. Fabric with a thin layer of something reflective, but still light and flexible. It would be about as effective a projectile as a handkerchief. And like Brinestone said, a quick glance doesn't take your eyes off the road any more than looking in your rearview mirror, which my driver's ed instructor said you should do about every 7 seconds.
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kq, I'm going to have to disagree with you. The Henrico Doctors' Hospital NICU is a Level III - I can assure you that they both have a special-needs CPST on staff (I just called - the benefits of being on the parent board) and that they are aware of the latest research. They still feel that rolled up blankets are not safe. One of the reasons is that they can interfere with apnea monitors. You'd be amazed at how easily the leads can get tangled up or bumped out and there's nothing more distracting to a driver than an apnea monitor going off while an infant screams (trust me on this). While I respect your expertise, I just could never feel safe using something they don't approve of.
On a related note, my mother told me this morning that she'd been taking Aerin's coat off before buckling her into the car seat. I'm pretty sure I'd told her to, but she couldn't remember if I did - she just felt more comfortable that way. This is the woman who took me home from the hospital in her arms in the front seat without wearing a seatbelt herself. Though she did insist that I wear a seatbelt when the click in campaign reached us and was considered obsessively strict by everyone else.
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About the mirrors - the way it was explained to me was, "Most parents don't glance, they gaze." I forget who the public policy person was (it was at a March of Dimes meeting - we get a lot of public policy folks speaking with us). That phrase stuck in my mind. I didn't put up a mirror for that reason. I know I'd be a gazer and would be checking ever other second.
Brinestone and dkw, please don't think I'm saying that y'all are unsafe - I don't think that at all. I'm not even saying that all parents are gazers, but I think enough are that they are doing the research and considering legislation.
kq, do you know if there's research on car seats in third row seating of crossovers? We're considering getting a crossover instead of a wagon. I'm putting all the kids in the second row, but I'm wondering about safety if we have more kids. We're test driving the Volvo XC90 tomorrow (I got permission). I'm so sad to lose my beloved Forester, but we just can't fit all 3 kids and the gigantic stroller in there.
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Two days before the due date, so he's not late yet. I still wouldn't mind seeing him though.
The grandmothers-in-waiting are now on daily calls - just to check in. And my mother is still finding things to buy. (She bought his Christmas outfit last night. It is pretty adorable.)
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Mrs. M, yes, there's research. The middle row is statistically safest, but the back seat is still very safe. The two schools of thought are to put the most vulnerable child(ren) in the most protected spot, or to put the least protected children (seatbelt only, then boostered, then forward-facing, then rear-facing) in the most protected spot. I lean toward the latter most of the time, but in the case of preemies lean toward the former. However a lot of it comes down to what will or won't work in a given car. In the end all rear seating positions are safe; the middle seat has a slight advantage over the back, as the center has a slight advantage over the sides in each row and the driver's side has a slight advantage over the passenger side (in most areas-- that one actually is different in some cities), but in the end, they are all much, much safer than the front seat. Much more important than seating position is type of restraint (rear-facing as long as possible, then harnessed as long as needed, then high back booster until they are outgrown, then low back booster until they are not needed, and EVERYONE-- including adults-- having proper head restraint and a three-point belt, which means don't buy anything without lap-shoulder belts in every position and a headrest in every position.) When picking out a car, it's a good idea to check out the safety at Informed For Life, where they make a composite score based on various testing standards. If side curtain airbags and other features are not standard, though, they won't include that in the score; you can adjust the score to see if they will be in the top few percent if they have those features before making your decision. (For instance we want an 8-pass. Sienna next. VSC and side airbags do not come standard on all models before 08 model year, and the Siennas before that year get mid-range safety scores. However, add those features and they get a safety score in the top few top percent. So we will make sure those features are on any Sienna we get. )
One thing many of the crossovers DON'T have, though, is an actual trunk contained fully behind seats or etc.; the "trunk" area is very open with only a low seatback in front of it. A few studies have been done about the danger of large strollers and stuff in a trunk like that being projectiles. One thing that may be helpful is to get a cargo net and always secure strollers, etc. under the net.
Apnea monitors are definitely an instance when rolled blankets may not be appropriate; that's why the doctors need to work with the techs. However, in many hospitals, they are allowed. Often not around the body, though, but around the head (where the head support normally is on a car seat.)
And yes, as dkw noted they make mirrors of soft cloth that are safer than the other kind.
imogen, that is so cute about the grandmothers. I was on the phone with my mom every day toward the end of my first pregancy too (until she went out of the country!!!)
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Having contractions all the time - but no real pattern. They'll get to about 10 minutes apart for like an hour and then quit so I'm not getting too worked up about it... If she's not here by Wednesday - the doc's going to induce... That's about all I've got.
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No baby. I am awake at 2am with a head cold though.
Had an appointment with the midwife on Friday - baby was still good, heartbeat strong. The midwife said given it's my first, 41 weeks is not unrealistic. I'm still hoping KQ had it right with 40+3.
My schedule is: next Friday - if I'm still in, we do a trace of the heartrate just to check he's ok. If he is, we wait. (I'm planning on asking her to strip the membranes then though, if he is). Then on 41+3, an ultrasound to check the fluid. Then at about 41+6, induce. I hope he gets his act together before then.
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I totally got congested when I was having some pretty heavy-duty dilation with my first (before they finally agreed to induce so I wouldn't be in slow labor for 2 more weeks, lol.) I have many friends who have totally gotten "colds" that turned out to be early labor.
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Wow, more than 40 weeks! I really can't imagine. I'm pretty psyched about hitting 30 tomorrow. I'm so uncomfortable - you ladies have my sympathy. I'm praying for quick and easy deliveries to happen asap.
We went with the wagon. I didn't like driving the crossover and the third row seat doesn't seat adults! It was too big for me to be comfortable driving it, but not big enough to be convenient enough to make up for that. The trunk in the wagon can fit the double stroller and the single. It's a tight fit in the back with all 3 seats, but they fit safely. It also has pop-up booster seats in the back, which fit all the national safety standards. I can't imagine why all cars don't do this. We're going to have seats installed in the trunk in a few years.
Of course, I'll have to give up this car if we have a 4th child. Hopefully they'll have improved crossovers by then, because I never want to drive a minivan or a full SUV.
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quote: It also has pop-up booster seats in the back, which fit all the national safety standards. I can't imagine why all cars don't do this.
1. They have an expiration date, just like all other seats, and will probably expire before you use them, since kids should be harnessed as long as possible and Aerin is so petite (though the expiration is sometimes longer than the typical car seat; check your manual or call the vehicle manufacturer.) Just like non-integrated seats, it can't be used after a crash in which they were in use.
2. They don't fit all kids well and are not usually as comfy (meaning more slumping and less safety if the kid falls asleep, etc.) Different boosters fit different kids; they are not one-size-fits-all. A child needs to pass the five-step test for being out of a booster IN a booster first, or the booster doesn't fit and a different one should be used. If a booster doesn't position the belt correctly on your particular child, they are only slightly more safe than in the regular adult belt.
3. They don't provide the added side impact protection of the shell of a non-integrated high-back booster seat. Significant advances in advanced head containment for children and side impact protection have been made in the past few years and while not a primary feature of most seats it's something worth looking into before making a choice in booster.
That said, they are excellent for emergencies, backup, etc., and definitely can be used every day if they fit a child properly (belt is positioned correctly), the child is mature enough to sit properly at all times in the booster (and rarely falls asleep, etc.), they are not expired, and the child has reached the 4 years and 40 lbs. that is the absolute minimum recommended for non-harnessed booster use (my personal minimum is more like 6 years old after reading about hip development, and more like 8 is ideal.)
I'm glad you found a car you like though! I personally can't wait for my minivan. I am enchanted by the 5 full sets of LATCH in the 8 passenger Sienna. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Yeah, I planned to have the girls in Britax boosters anyway (I love Britax), but it's nice to have the option. One of the reasons we went with a Volvo is b/c of all the extra safety features. I am the last holdout of almost every other mom I know with regards to minivans. Ironically, I am also the mom with the most kids of all the moms I know (well, I will be). Even my OB has one.
For some stupid reason, I watched Freebirthing today. It was even more horrifying than I thought it would be. When Heather asked if it takes 20 minutes without oxygen for a baby to die, I almost passed out. That is NOT someone who should be giving birth without assistance. 20 minutes! Maybe it's because I've seen so many babies have apnea episodes, but that just about knocked me out.
I think that Baby A is either hurling herself against me or bracing herself and kicking and punching with all her might. Baby B is constantly in motion and is pushing hard against me. I'm glad they're active, but I am so uncomfortable. Did I mention that I have to pee constantly and that I fall asleep with almost no warning? January can't come fast enough.
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Poor thing! One active baby at a time is enough for me, I can't imagine two of them pummelling each other and you in there!
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(Oh, and sadly, Britax will probably have no boosters out other than the combo seats by the time your kids are ready for them. According to a spokesperson they are moving away from boosters altogether in America. They've already discontinued the Parkway-- sadly, as it's a wonderful, skinny booster great for 3 across-- and are planning on retiring the Monarch next year last I heard.)
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Okay - here's the quick and dirty... Went into the hospital on Wednesday night. They wanted to induce because they thought that she was getting really big... Clearly that was not the case, since she was 7lbs, but everything worked out so no worries.
Went in - about 10 they did the cervadil and 'slept' through the night - getting vitals checked about every 4 hours. The room was pretty cool because the loveseat that was in the room folded out to a bed, so Kyle could stay there in relative comfort.
So... fast forward to about 10 the next morning - they started pitocin and it was in fast motion from then on! Water broke at about 12:20 and I was 3cm when they checked. Dr. Cahill suggested if I were going to get an epidural, then I'd probably want to let them know then because with the water breaking, the cushion goes away and it gets more uncomfortable. Because we were spine to spine, he figured it could be not so nice for me... I went for it. I'm glad I did, because it was painful. Even through the epidural... I went from 3-9.5 in about 4 hours. Some times were better than others - we actually watched the Heroes episode we missed on Monday night at one point. We went to go watch Prison Break but Kyle's wiser than I because he looked at me and said 'there's no way you can get through that'. He was right... About 5 o'clock, the doc came in and said there was one little lip he wanted to go away before I started pushing. The nurse came in about 5:15 and I told her I'd had two more really good contractions and I REALLY wanted to push at that point. She checked me, I was 10, she said go ahead and try to push. Kyle and I looked at each other like - really? This is it? and I pushed. She stopped me and said - yeah, DON'T push on the next one. She called the doc - 'Charlie - you wanna have a baby' (which actually made me smile, through the wincing w pain!). He got there - four sets of pushing later - Chloe was here! She came out just like a lady with her hand on her face - so that hurt a little bit. I had one small laceration, but it didn't need repair. She had a short cord, so she was low on my belly and then Kyle cut the cord (and blood squirted across the room). The rest has been amazing...
That's about all I've got time to type up right now - she's got a little jaundice (i should really say had, because it's almost all gone now) and was back up to 6 14 at the doc yesterday. We had some nursing problems - she got screwed up with her belly because she gulped 10 cc's of amniotic fluid into her belly that no one caught until the next morning and once they got it out she was so hungry she's now a biter (gummer?). Met with a lactation consultant yesterday, though, so we're good.
Yeah - that's it for now. I love her to pieces... She makes us both so happy it's crazy. It's awesome to see Kyle with her, too. Oh - and she squeaks, bless her. When she's eating, she squeaks. When she's waking up, she squeaks. *sigh*
Hope everyone else is doing well! Here's another link to some picks my Godmother took... Don't know if it'll work - but these are from her 4th day. : )
Tobias James’ birth story –or, the best laid plans…..
Our pregnancy care was done through the Canberra Midwife Centre at the local hospital – the idea was that we would give birth at the birth centre, which is in the hospital but a discrete section. It has an emphasis on natural birth, with minimum drugs offered (gas, pethidine/morphine), lovely big double rooms, and staffed by midwives. It is, however, part of the hospital, so if things don’t go well, it is a simple ride up the lift to delivery suite (and beyond).
I was up early Sunday morning (23rd) – I thought it was just my head cold keeping me awake, but in retrospect those lower back pains that came and went regularly – yeah, they might have had something to do with it too. I got back to sleep about 5am, and slept till 9, when I woke with more back pains. By 10am the pains had graduated to starting in my lower back and graduating around to my pelvis. At this point I admitted that perhaps something was going on – at 40+1. We decided to head over to my mother’s house, and go on a planned trip to the local markets, to see if walking would do anything. [Tip 1 – I should have slept instead]. So we did, and walked around for an hour or so. The pains got a little more intense and a lot more regular – by midday, they were coming 8 minutes apart and lasting for 30-45s each time. So we headed back to my mother’s, and decided to stay there for a bit. The contractions were at 5 minutes apart by 2pm, and at 4 minutes apart by 3 pm. I kept active, walking through them [Tip 2 – I should have slept instead]. At this stage, I was getting a bit excited and didn’t want anything to slow down or stop. [Tip 3 – I should have slept instead.]
We had called our midwife at 1 or so just to let her know what was happening. At 3, we called again, but she was resting (in anticipation of a big night: Tip 4 – I should have followed her lead!) and another midwife came out to check on my at about 4. She did an internal, and said I was 1 cm dilated and in prelabour. I found this really disenheartening – the contractions were getting quite painful, were very regular, and I didn’t really want to go through another 12 hours of this before the real show started. The midwife suggested trying to sleep, but at this stage I was in enough pain that sleep was impossible. Tony and I decided to head home, and the contractions continued. We ate dinner, we tried all the positions from our birth classes, some helped. By 8, I was in much more discomfort again. We called our midwife who came out and did another internal. She said things had progressed, and that we would be heading into the birth centre that night. We called my Mum who came out (I wanted her with me in labour) and we kept labouring at home. By midnight we were ready to head into the birth centre: the contractions were still at 4 minutes apart, 90 second duration and quite painful. So in we went (not the funnest car ride), met Chris, our midwife there, and got settled into the room.
From midnight till 2, things went great – contractions continued, I kept labouring, we used all the equipment in the room, the nice bath etc etc. Then at 2 things just slowed down. I was exhausted [see previous tips – sleep would have been good!], and actually lay down on the bed. I was dozing, but waking up every 8 minutes or so for an incredibly painful contraction, then dozing again. I couldn’t keep my eyes open between contractions, and was having a hard time coping with the pain (which was still in my back as well as my pelvis). The contractions would come in waves of 3 or 4, right on top of each other, then nothing for 10 minutes or so.
By 4, we asked Chris to do another internal to see how I had progressed. I was at 5cm, and given the slowing down of contractions, we decided to rupture the membranes. They were clear, baby heart rate was still fine, and the contractions became more regular again for a while – so we thought things were moving again. By 6:30 though things had slowed down again: I was at 6cm, and the baby’s head hadn’t rotated properly. I was exhausted, and just not coping with the pain – I tried the gas but it did nothing. I finally decided we needed to do something because I couldn’t keep going at this rate (1cm every 2.5 hours!) – Chris agreed, and we decided to transfer up to delivery suit for syntocin to help the contractions along. I also decided at this point to have an epidural – I needed rest, and the syntocin contractions are very painful.
So up we went – we had previously toured delivery suite, so we knew it well, and we weren’t too worried: yes, it was not our original plan but I was pretty happy with the decision given the circumstances. I had the epidural in by 7:30, and the syntocin drip started as well. The epidural: well, at that point – magic. Just having the relief and being able to rest was incredible. We actually swapped midwives at this point – Chris went home to rest and another midwife came in. I was now hooked up to all manner of machines – the epidural (which had a top up pump for me to administer), the fluid drip, a constant baby heart rate monitor and a contraction monitor. In the birth centre, the heart rate was monitored every half hour by a hand held Doppler, so it was quite a contrast. It was also odd going from the focus on my body, what I was feeling, what my body was telling me to do, to having the machines do it for me. While I’m glad I decided to get the epidural when I did, I’m happy I had that first experience as well.
By 1pm I was at 10cm, and ready to push. I really enjoyed this part, and made good progress for about an half an hour: we thought the baby was going to be out by 2pm. Then – oh oh! Things slowed down. I kept pushing, but there was no movement at all by the baby. By 3, he still hadn’t travelled down any further, and his heart rate was starting to dip a little when I pushed. This was also the story at 3:30, and the midwife was pretty sure the head was still transverse. I was told to stop pushing, as the heart rate was showing a little stress, and the specialist came in to consult – he felt and confirmed the head was transverse and would need to be turned before I could deliver. The best option was a forceps turn & delivery, and it would need to be done in theatre – and if it didn’t work, I’d have an emergency caesearean. From here on in, things moved pretty quickly. I was prepped for theatre, Mum & Tony were gowned, and we were transferred through. When we got to theatre we were separated – although the specialist had said Mum & Tony could come in, the theatre nurse stopped them. I was wheeled in, not quite sure what was going on, and a little scared. The midwife was still with me though, and she helped a lot. Theatre was pretty manic – lots of people, moving very fast, all talking over me. I had a much stronger top on my epidural - lost all feeling pretty much immediately - and I was put in stirrups, and a sheet was put up so I couldn’t see what was happening. Tony & Mum were allowed back in, sat near my head and told to sit down and be quiet.
As it turns out, the specialist was concerned the baby wasn’t actually far down enough for a successful forceps delivery, so a caeser was much more likely than I realised. However when they had a good examination and found they could turn him, things calmed down a little – Tony was allowed down to the end of the bed, and after the registrar turned the head, Tony actually delivered the baby (under guidance!). It took two good pulls with the forceps and one push from me: and one episiotomy. (☹) Then out Tobias was and screaming. I got to have a quick look, then he went off to the paediatrician to get checked (agpars of 9 & 10) and then he came back and was placed on my chest. I was still hooked up to everything, and it was a bit hard to cuddle successfully (and the theatre nurses kept heaping heated blankets over us), but we did manage to finally get some skin to skin. I was being stitched up at this point, but was still numb so had no idea what was going on.
That was the birth. ☺ All over by 4:31pm on Monday 24th.
We then went back to delivery suit for a few hours – my blood pressure dropped a bit and my heart rate was too fast, so we had to wait for that to resolve, then I was allowed a shower. The epidural wore off and the pain from the episiotomy came in, which wasn’t so fun. Then we all went down to post partum, and got a great room – a single one, with a sofa bed for Tony. The midwife left about 8:30 that evening - she’d been with us all day.
We managed to get home by 4 on Tuesday 25th – so even with everything that went on, we were still back with baby within 24 hours. The midwifes have visited us every day at home, to check on baby and me, and do the various tests.
So… I have a few thoughts and issues from the birth. First and foremost, I’m happy we went the birth centre route: although we ended up high intervention, the system worked exactly the way it was meant to, and we had midwife support all the way through. The things that were scary or bewildering would have been 100 times more so without that continuous care. Second, I am a little upset it ended the way it did – I didn’t get to see the delivery, I didn’t feel it, and it took a few days to actually believe I did give birth. I knew it intellectually, but it felt like I’d gone into hospital pregnant, done some stuff to stop being pregnant, and then people gave me my baby. There’s a disconnect between the ending of the pregnancy and the production of the baby. Third, I’m grateful the intervention was available – as it turned out we both needed it, and I guess the whole story could have had a different ending without it.
That’s it. What a saga!
**
9 days out, I'm still a little sore from the stitches (ok, quite a bit sore) but otherwise all good. Toby is, of course, perfect. He had a few little marks from the forceps but they have all but faded. He is feeding like a champion, and has slept for 8+ hours (with a change + nurse stop in the middle) for 2 nights straight. I'm beginning to remember what it feels like to not be tired all the time.
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Glad it went well in the end! It's interesting to me that with 3 inductions plus 3 epidurals, my experience has been so different each time. My third was the first time I had that "euphoria" they say you feel after delivery. (Of course, with my first two, I was hemmorhaging, the babies weren't breathing, etc. So that might have something to do wtih it...) Hopefully your "disconnect" will be over soon and you will be able to remember the birth more fondly in years to come. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I'm so happy that our mommas and babies are healthy and safe at home. What wonderful blessings.
I was telling Andrew about Baby Tobias and Baby Chloe and he gave me a look. I asked him what was up and he said, "You think they'll get married, don't you?" It's so true - that's exactly what I was thinking. I can't help it, I'm Southern and Jewish, matchmaking is in my blood.
I'm 31+ weeks now and just got a negative fFN yesterday. That will take me well past the all-important 32-week milestone. Baby A is 3 pounds, 14 ounces and Baby B is 3 pounds, 11 ounces. They're both transverse and Baby A's head is kind of jammed in my hip. It's a weird feeling, especially since Aerin never did that (she mostly just kicked me in the groin). Carrying twins is so different than carrying a singleton that I almost feel like this is my first pregnancy. My perinatolotist informed me that I'm now bigger than the average singleton mom is at 40 weeks. I lost another 4 pounds, but the doctors say it's fine as long as the babies are growing. I'm still ravenous, but I get full very quickly. The ligament stretching and nerve pain are getting pretty intense.
The doctors are now saying that I have a good chance of making it past 36 weeks. They'll take the stitch out then and see what happens. Apparently, it's not a given that I'll immediately dilate and go into labor (I thought it was). They remove the stitch in an L&D OR as a precaution. No anesthesia, which I'm not especially looking forward to. I have mixed feelings about going so far. On the one hand, I want the twins to have as much time as possible in the womb. On the other hand, I really, really don't want to be pregnant anymore.
I'm also kind of freaking out about the strong possibility that they'll come home with me. This is week 11 of bedrest and I feel like there's so much to do. I'm nesting and I can't get up and it's driving me insane. We got the stroller, car seats, upstairs changing table (we just use the one on the Pack N Play downstairs), glider, My Brest Friend, and Hooter Hider. The only other major things we need are a Baby K'tan carrier and a crib. I had planned to get the same crib Aerin's in now, but of course it was discontinued. I'm putting them in the same crib for as long as I can, so the plan is to use Aerin's when she moves to a big-girl bed.
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If you feel big now, think how you'll feel at 36 weeks plus!
I know the "I'm done" feeling very well... I think I spent my last 10 visits last time asking how long until we could schedule my induction. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Imogen, I'm glad you didn't have to have a cesarean. I'm jealous of your birthing options: to be able to have a midwife in the hospital. How cool is that? Like you said, the system worked like it was supposed to, and I wish I could have had that option. I wanted an all-natural, midwife "officiated" delivery, but I was nervous about being so far from the hospital, so I did it there. (In the end, it worked out, because my second wasn't breathing (but conscious) when born, had to be bagged, and had very low apgars. I don't know how they would have handled that at the birthing center, but I was glad to be in the safety of the hospital for that delivery!
re: syntocin. I'm assuming that's the same as pitocin, but I like your name for it better!
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