quote:I've poured my heart, soul and sanity into this project.
so that's where it went...
Edited to add:
In all seriousness, I'm a little skeptical of its greatness, given the quality of your writing on the board. Did you punctuate the screenplay? Is it coherent?
Will you email it to me so I can send you an insulting critique? Nothing personal. I always want to discourage people from writing.
posted
Hrm. Thor, as usual, your imagery is good but your dialogue is both pretentious and incoherent. You're a cinematographer, man, or a director.
(If you would like, though, I'd be happy to correct your typos for you. It worries me a little that you've been showing this to people for three years and no one's pointed out the basic grammar errors.)
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
On the subject of other sorts of artistic expression, I really, really like a lot of your visual art, Thor. I would be interesting in purchasing prints of some of it, and talking about a deal to sell prints of it, for that matter.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
It seems as if the people of hatrack have never heard of constructive critism, Danlo, you HAVE to remember, ninjas can't use jetpacks! They would be spotted instantly, pogo sticks is understandable.
Posts: 549 | Registered: Feb 2008
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quote:In all seriousness, I'm a little skeptical of its greatness, given the quality of your writing on the board. Did you punctuate the screenplay? Is it coherent?
Nah. Part of the premise is that this all takes place in a drug-induced fantasy of James Joyce and e e cummings.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Xann.: It seems as if the people of hatrack have never heard of constructive critism, Danlo, you HAVE to remember, ninjas can't use jetpacks! They would be spotted instantly, pogo sticks is understandable.
I am only constructive if I feel that the person is at all receptive, or in fact, at all interested in being criticized. But when someone says that what they've done is great, and moreover, everyone so far has said it is great, I am glad to take the opportunity, if it is warranted, of telling that person that they are not being realistic. This is one of those cases. There is an exceedingly short list of people who avow their own greatness, and who actually have achieved great and notable things, and even those people are difficult to suffer gladly.
Thor is not Quentin Tarantino.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:In all seriousness, I'm a little skeptical of its greatness, given the quality of your writing on the board. Did you punctuate the screenplay? Is it coherent?
Nah. Part of the premise is that this all takes place in a drug-induced fantasy of James Joyce and e e cummings.
You realize this is the premise under which I am writing...?
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Actually -- and I mean this in all seriousness -- I think Thor could be Tarantino. I don't mean that literally, obviously. But I think there are enough similarities between Thor and Tarantino -- their strengths, their subject matter, their visual styles -- that I could very easily see Thor becoming a director in the Tarantino mold. Provided he gets off his butt and finishes film school and makes a movie or two.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:These kids are such total conformists, scared to step out of the norm for even a split second, and their only form of humor seems to be making fun of people in a spiteful fashion.
Word. I'm a little curious as to what the financial crunch will do. Or even an Obama election? I think that with the financial crunch, either people will push to conform, or they'll think that there is not enough room for them even if they do conform, and they'll become radical, deadbeat, and all strips of awful or awesome. If Obama wins, I think there will be a push for conformity among the younger generation. Whereas McCain may actually arouse a counter-culture that comes from feeling impotent.
As to the script, I like it. I'm a little worried that you are substituting affectations for character. Is the girl wise beyond her years, in which case, she wouldn't be amused by Ogama, or she is a regular kid, in which case, she'd freak out a bit when the ninjas descend around her. Again, with the old man dancing, that seems to me to be an affect, not so much a quality of serious character, especially if knows he is about to let loose a revolution.
Posts: 5600 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
"There's nothing worse than an aging hipster."
Thor isn't even 35 yet, IIRC. In fact, I believe he was born the same year as TomD and myself. If being over 30 is old...what is young? And, for that matter, where's my Social Security check, and senior citizen discounts? I mean, if you're going to take away my illusions of still being "young", how about some compensation of the monetary type? I need some help buying Rogaine.
Posts: 3354 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
First it's just an offhand quote from Dr. Evil.
I said it to point out that Thor was talking quite a big rap without producing anything. He then produced some, imo, garbage which was supposed to be impressive, proving the point.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Thor, why don't you give us a 1-2 page plot summary? And, in general, if you're going to do something like this, you might want to set it in China. The families there are older, and there is more history and tradition. You could draw on the Buddhist monk tradition, or the Wudang mountain Taoist tradition, or just make up something. There are plenty of secret societies in China, martial and otherwise, therefore it would be more plausible than resurrecting the samurai. You could have an underground cave temple. In that case, the fact that the society is secret would be more plausible.
Posts: 3354 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Xann.: It seems as if the people of hatrack have never heard of constructive critism, Danlo, you HAVE to remember, ninjas can't use jetpacks! They would be spotted instantly, pogo sticks is understandable.
This is the single greatest post known to man, it is in fact so great, i will now be known as "The Artist Formally and for Ever After Known, for Really Really Great Posts".
Posts: 549 | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
Feel free to. I wouldn't, but that is because I have taste.
Not to mention a decent memory.
The best thing about this project is that it is yours....which means it will probably never even be finished, let alone be made into something I might have to watch.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
I think that the public has really been waiting for a slow-cooking, yet exciting story about the devil taking over the world through economics (an idea taken from Batman?) who is stopped by 300 Samurai, (The Last Samurai?), and a secret ninja society that lives in an underground temple, (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
In fairness, I believe there's a market for this movie. I can even imagine paths the movie could take where I would be part of that market. (I like Equilibrium, gun fu and all. It's fun.)
It's all going to come down to execution. Getting folks to take jet pack wearing ninjas seriously is going to be a bit of a problem. I might throw in a bit of the fantastic before hand, firmly plant the idea that this is not our world, you know? Or you could save the jet packs for later when you've already got viewers emotionally involved.
Another issue is genre. It comes across as classic Asian fantasy. Then you add in some hints of sci fi. But from the rest of your description, it mostly sounds like a superhero movie. And that's good because the rules already work different in superhero movies and the audience accepts that. I have no idea on how to help the opening (before the action starts) to go from Asian fantasy to superhero Asian, but that would be my advice.
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
Thor's ideas for movies are, at heart, always superhero movies. And they quite deliberately mess with tone; his dialogue channels Star Wars and Jackie Brown in the same scene, with the same character.
I'm of the opinion that it's possible to pull off such a movie. But I don't know that you'd necessarily want to, or even that the audience for that movie really exists in great numbers; most people I know think From Dusk 'Til Dawn goes downhill after the vampires show up, and Thor's films are deliberately aimed at the people who don't feel that way.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:...his dialogue channels Star Wars and Jackie Brown in the same scene...
"Death Star. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every #%@!%$ on the planet, accept no substitutes."
Posts: 3486 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote: And they quite deliberately mess with tone...
I see. While I'm all for films that challenge people, I do think it's important to recognize that it does make them less accessable. And if fewer people are expected to watch it, it'll be harder to get financing.
So Thor, if this is something you're writing because you love it, then by all means keep at it. But if you're hoping to sell it, you might need to compromise a bit.
Or look into ways to stretch a budget. Is animation cheaper? How about that entirely green screened scenery stuff that Sanctuary is doing? There's probably a way to make it happen, but it will take more forethought on your part.
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
It would do my already fractured mind good to go on believing that that these are posts meant as a joke. There can't be any legitimate reason why anyone would take this seriously as an even remotely good idea. Danlo if this is just you having a lark, I laugh with you. If you are being sincere, then I die a little on the inside.
Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
"How about an epic battle scene, you know like 300 or LOTR with like ninjas and junk. And samurai that would so be cool. Give it like a regal background for the fight, like Hero, but give them blasters and other techy stuff. Why? Who cares it'll be awesome, like a Firefly sorta thing. And let's have this chick with sweet swords and she'll be totally badass like Uma for Kill Bill. Whew best movie ever.
"But aren't you just taking scenes that have already been done well in other movies you've seen and crashing them together into the span of a few minutes and claiming greatness, effectively just going off on some nerd-gasm musing."
"Basically, but I've created my own mythology"
"Really?"
"The chick may be a god, they're in the future, and Otis's face is a weapon. I really liked that line"
"Me too, good job"
Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
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You need to anchor your dialog a bit-- so that when your heroine says to the samurai, "Are you my king?" we can get a sense of why she's saying it. Previous to this, she was a goofy kid at the adults' table-- your directions don't provide proof of the change.
It does have a very Tarantino feel to it-- the exuberance and the overbearing style and the over-the-top-ness of it all. But it lacks heart so far. Kill Bill was overbearing and ridiculous and exuberantly over-the-top; but we cared for B. from the very moment we saw her.
I don't care for Grace-- she's cardboard and paint as far as I can see. Now Oti-- he's a card. I like that guy. You've given him something to do. Give Grace the same opportunity alongside of him.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
I am, thought good ideas. Danlo being also, like to me, understanding all of fights in film actions. We are liking him incredible.
Posts: 11 | Registered: Apr 2008
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