posted
Okay, Leo...I'll admit the second one was me dead on. I think I proved that about five hours later with my post on the "Curse God and Die" thread. Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
ME: So many attempts at explanation, yet not a single enquiry into what type of chicken it actually was. How can we assume that a Rhode Island Red will be motivated by the same ideas as a White Italian? Nor has anyone asked whether the road ran north-south or east-west, or in which direction the chicken crossed it...
Posts: 394 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
Isaac Asimov: A chicken refuge will be established on the other side of the road. And another will be esablished at the other end, at Road's End.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ok, so everbody has their theories why the chicken crossed the road, but how many of you know why the car crossed the road? HUH? HUH???
That's right, you don't know, do yuh? , do yuh?! That's because the mainstream media never told you, did they? It's what they haven't taught you in schools.
The car crossed the road because *DRRRUMROLL* the chicken was driving it.
Chicken? Who is this chicken you speak of? Perhaps they posted at Hatrack a long time ago and was worshipped by everyone? I need to meet this chicken. I need to know how he crossed the road. Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
T_Smith: So here's the story of this chicken that I saw today when I was on my way to buy [book by OSC]. Wouldn't you know it that I was approached by a peddler of cheap Kobe Bryant cologne! I was so preoccupied with the book I was going to buy that I let this guy sucker me into buying 4 cases of this stinky cologne for $20 a pop. I can hardly believe it.
So anyway, the chicken...he had talked to my sister who needed to borrow the car even though she is underaged and was trying to get me to let HIM have the car. He needed my parents' car to cross the road! And I was so preoccupied with [OSC book] and my mission to go get it, that I let him borrow the car. Yeah, so now I'm in a load of trouble because my parents are back in town.
posted
Wow, I can't believe it took me this long to find this thread! It's SO funny!!! I've spent the last 20 or 25 minutes reading the whole thing and laughing my heart out!!
quote: ::is still waiting to be parodied::
Yep, that's right... I'm in that position now too!! I hope I've been here long enough that people know how I operate
posted
Filetted: You know, I clicked on this thread hoping to find some insightful comments about chickens, but instead I find these worn-out chicken jokes. And none of them is particularly funny. Or maybe I just don't get the humor around here. I'm particularly disappointed that none of the Cards has posted anything worthwhile in this thread. Oh, well.
posted
The style is right, but you put too much into one post. It would be better spread out over three or four.
Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Raia: The chicken is ALMOST old enough to cross the road by himself legally. Does anyone want to hold the hand of the chick while he crosses? Being an underage chick:
posted
Tony Blair: President Bush and I have decided that he crossed the road in order to aid those who would spread terror.
Posts: 650 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
The chicken, withstanding the onslaught of horns, screeching tires, quixotic headbeams, and ribbings from his fellow road-crossers, merely wanted to get home after a long dreary day.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ryan Hart: This is my last post on chicken crossing, unless the chickens beg me to return (which I suspect is about as likely as me returning to the egg).
MY BOTTOM LINE ON CHICKEN CROSSING:
1. Chicken crossing is wrong. I believe this because it's part of my heneology.
2. Chicken crossing is not poultry advantageous. Therefore it should not be condoned by our culture.
3. It is condemned in the Holy Cockalorum. Therefore all chickens, roosters, Backyarders, Praries, chicks or full-growns that cross roads are OUT OF LINE.
posted
You've been handing out an AWFUL lot of wedgies lately, Jamie.
If the Ralphster did not have her scruples about her, she might suspect that thou wast cruising for thine bruising.
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
chicken (eyeing the many and varied insults of the particular highway he was contemplating crossing), hitched up his tail-feathers, threw out his "thumb", and hoped for the best.
posted
I didn't fish through all 5 pages to see if this had already been posted, but I got this in an email today and I felt like it needed to be added to this list. Forgive me if you don't get the references, it's a cheesy Mormon version.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Laman: To usurp the authority of his older brother chickens and to take possession of their coop.
Brigham Young: Because this is the right place in the road.
Thomas: I don't really believe the chicken crossed the road.
Noah: Are you sure there weren't two chickens?
Lilburn W Boggs: I don't care which side of the road the chicken's on, you have permission to kill it.
Elder's Quorum President: It was the 31st and he had to get his Home Teaching done.
Relief Society President: That's where the refreshments were.
The Doctrine and Covenants: "The duty of a chicken is to cross the road when there is no other poultry present."
Mark Hoffman: Would you like to buy the chicken's original diary documenting his crossing of the road?
Lamoni's servants: We don't know why it crossed the road; all we know is it's wings had been cut off.
Martin Harris: I have never denied seeing the chicken cross the road.
Temple Square Guide: The acoustics are so good you can hear the chicken cross the road from any seat in the Tabernacle.
President Merrill J Bateman: I'm not so much concerned that the chicken crossed the road but that its feathers were not knee-length.
Gerald Lund: Not only did this chicken cross the road, but his whole family crossed the road as well. The grand, panoramic story of this chicken's family will be told in my soon-to-be-released 36 volume set "The Cluck and the Glory."
Nephi: It is better for a chicken to cross the road than a nation dwindle in unbelief.
Lorenzo Snow: As the egg is, the chicken once was; as the chicken is, the egg may become.
Posts: 75 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Some people are just hard to parody, Nick. Personally, I don't think I post with enough frequency and personality to give anyone enough juice to parody me with Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Leonide: I was talking to my boyfriend the other day ( ) and we were discussing chicken crossing. I'm not entirely sure what I think on the issue, as so many people have brought up good points for good and bad. I enjoy the idea of a liberated chicken. I like that the chicken has the opportunity to cross.
btw - My absolute *favorite* musical features chickens, and I canNOT imagine it if crossing didn't play a prominent part. If nothing else, that would inspissisate- er, inspisserate?... solidify it right there. Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
HAAA!!! ![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
