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Living for so long here does have long term effects... Darn it, stupid Tallahassean descolada.
Posts: 1449 | Registered: Jun 1999
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Peter Parker: His Spidey sense was tingling.
The Colonel: He found my secret recipe and stole my eleven spices. Damn that foul!
Concerned hen: To lay it on the line.
The Wicked Witch: He came to bring me poppies while chanting and wearing a spiffy warrior suit.
Chicken: A actually don’t like the wicked witch :reveals twin jet pack water nozzles: She just really needs a bath. We could smell her in the chicken coup. I know her husband the wiz, and owe him a favor, won’t he be surprised?
Dog: A cat was stalking it and I was hungry so it brought me lunch and an after dinner mint. Where's the chicken now? Uh.. :clucking under a dirt mound: We had a water fight earlier and now he’s… uh… napping.
Edgar Allen Poe: It was a raven NEVERMORE.
Yoda: Road you say? There is cross or no cross, there is no why.
Ash: Shhh! I gotta catchem all!
Team Rocket: HA HA HA HA!! :jumps out of a manhole: Prepare for poultry, make it sultry.
To protect the road from devastation, to unite all poultry in our nation.
To denounce the evils of youth and doves! To extend our forks to the bird above!
Jessie! James!
Team rocket prepared to feast, get out the dressing and throw in some yeast.
Meowth: What were you guy’s saying? :burps and rolls away from a pile of feathers:
Samurai Jack: It is not a question of whether or not the chicken would cross the road, rather can the chicken defeat the twenty foot tall saber toothed mechanical lion on the other side? :explosion: That answer is a no.
Power Puff Girls: It’s Mojo Jojo in disguise :beats chicken till the white meat shows:
[This message has been edited by angelo (edited January 04, 2003).]
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T_Smith: Are we even considering the chickens feelings? Look, if you really want to know why it is that the chicken is crossing the road, don't start a thread over it. Talk to the chicken (MATURELY PLEASE). Get to know the chicken, and do it in a private way. I know I wouldn't want a thread started that would wonder why I would cross a road.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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As a *bump* for the newbies who may not have seen this, and in their honor, I give you: Why did the newbie chicken cross the road?
coil - Congratulations, Chicken, on crossing the road! *hands Chicken celebration flag* It's always nice to see someone crossing! (:
Jon Boy - Okay, I'll admit it. I was the Chicken in the "Whoever is Posting as the Chicken is the Best Hatracker EVER" thread. Could you guys tell? Okay, specs on the Chicken:
Single: Yes! Dating style: I like to just go out with a girl chicken, maybe cross a road. Hold feet if it feels right. Something simple. I'm a romantic chicken by nature. Feathers: Naturally curly - the kind that make you want to run your wings through them. Beak: Sharp, pointed. Useful, but not too pointed. Look-alikes: Foghorn Leghorne. Age first beaked: Still waiting for right chicken.
Nick - The chicken crossed the road? That's wrong! It's obvious that crossing the road is not the Lord's intent for the chicken. I mean, that's just MY opinion, but it's SO wrong.
Show me where it says that the chicken is suppose to cross the road, or I'll continue to believe that it's wrong and unnatural.
Fitz - I think it's clear that the road gave as good as it got from that chicken. The chicken was a great influence here, no matter how it dealt with the road, and it will be missed.
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I don't think there's been a good Ralphie one yet.
Ralphie: Why did the chicken cross the road? When you sizzle like this, baby, who can resist the flame? ::licks finger and sizzles it on hip::
Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Tom: You know, we don't know if the chicken made it across or even what ROAD it was. I wouldn't presume to judge it's motives before I had more information.
mackillian: Grrrr... I hate the fact that the chicken crosses and now I HAVE to figure out why he does. btw, Tom, is judging chicken motives like lambasting them? What sauce would you use? o_O
Ayelar: What upsets me about the chicken-crossing-issue is that we're basically trying to set this chicken's motives up as the most important thing. It's important, yes. But what about the roosters that cross? What about the ducks, for crying out loud? Why is the chicken's motives inheritly of more interest? Until we see all fowl and poultry's motivations as being of equal value, this question will just be done to death and without any benefit to society.
Chaeron: And here is exactly why I'll never be a chicken.
Mr. Squicky: ::sighs:: Okay, I'll explain this one more time. The psychology behind chicken crossing is extremely important, but it's not something that can be easily discerned with just a quick estimation of things like chicken standards, or what generally constitutes as "chicken impetus". A case study on the the individual motivations of over one-hundred chickens (found here) made the break-through discovery that chickens cross for very different reasons. Surprise! But as far as this individual chicken goes, I think it may have been something deeper. Maybe a need to see the other side, but without experiencing it. I think the chicken may have gotten most of the way there, and contemplated turning back. It's sad, and there's no way to comfort the chicken now, but perhaps it's not as tragic as it appears. Maybe it the the three-quarters of the journey that the chicken really needed.
Maybe it was all it needed.
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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I also read them because I haven't given up hope that one day he'll post a picture of himself in a compromising position.
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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porcelain girl: i've had friends who were chickens. like serious friendships were the chickens told me how they felt about road crossing. some of them were seriously messed up. heh some of the chickens that crossed did it for beautiful reasons and they created beautiful results after the road crossing. i'm just saying that maybe we shouldn't pigeon hole reasons or chickens. we do it all the time but we should know that what we come up with is utter crap. opening ourselves up to the fact that we MAY NOT KNOW why they are is the first step to accepting the most beautiful reasons: their own. *smile*
Irami: I posted my thoughts on the "How to Raise a Chicken Boy" thread, but since then there was a really good West Wing about this issue. *thinks* I'll have to get back to this thread after I've thought it through some, but I think chicken status plays a part somehow.
Ethics Gradient: Just because it was an American chicken doesn't mean that it's motives were as cut and dry as you think. The bigger issues can be seen more clearly from an outside perspective, IMO. I think maybe the chicken is acting preemptively, and I guess we'll all find out what the motive was after it leads to the death of possibly thousands of other poultry. That said, ::Flirts outrageously with Chicken::
(I keep wanting to do Bokonon's, but his definitive posts, which are usually mathematically based, are so far out of my league my eyes glaze. Sorry, Bok. You're too SMRT to be the fodder of satire from me. )
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Ophelia: What's really irritating is when you have to deal with the chicken going on and on about it's own possible motive and you're stuck in the same dorm room with it!!
I remember the time when we all went out with the chicken and, after crossing a road to get to a party that my dorm friends were throwing, the chicken could not stop talking about himself, and then he hit on me. Well, I was wearing my foxy shirt. (Which can be seen here) But I still to this day can't stand talking about chickens and roads. Bleh.
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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I would just like to express my thanks that my "Bachelor Application Format" is still being used, even in a humorous way.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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After reading that, I'm not sure how I feel on the issue. It seems that there are a lot of factors to take into consideration, and of course you have to deal with the possibility that the information isn't reliable! Sometimes a site will publish the reasons and motivations, but then you'll discover they only got half the story - you're only looking at half the motivation! I'm torn on this one.
However, if the chicken is hot, I know why I'd cross the road.
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The Tick: I dunno. Maybe we should ask Ralphie. Ralphie - Have you spanked any chickens lately? Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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So once again, we find that evil of the past seeps into the present like salad dressing through cheap wax paper, mixing memory and desire.
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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jettboy:and it is just as wrong for you to judge me as wrong just because i don't find them funny. i just don't think chickens are humorous; neither are jokes, or any facet of humanity whatsoever. the longer i live, and the more roads i cross, the more certain i am of this.
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Jettboy: By joking about the chicken crossing you completely blindsight yourself to the fact that the chicken has to be destroyed. I don't care if anyone disagrees with me. It's about time someone took out the chicken. It's about time someone finally put an end to the road crossing. It's about time that people understand how imperative it is to destroy the chicken because if we don't do it first, the chicken will destroy us and our children. It will corrupt our society. And if you dont see that it just goes to show how far humanity has sunk.
quote:I would just like to express my thanks that my "Bachelor Application Format" is still being used, even in a humorous way.
Like it was such a serious format to begin with, right? Also, I'd like to point out to Ralphie that only once have I created a username and tried to keep my identity a secret, and it didn't last very long.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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I was gonna do yours, Kate, but someone beat me to it in a thread. I thought it was this one, and it was SO spot-on, that I didn't think I could top it. But now I can't find the post. Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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Chickens like to be revered, but they're secretly doing it for the feed pellets.
Chickens don't like 'Why did the chicken cross the road' jokes. They feel it demeans their position as road-crossers and is just another example of The Man holding them down.
Chickens have a hard time using the word "McNugget" in any context.
It's a well known fact in Chicken culture that The Ugly Duckling actually grew into a beautiful chicken, but it had to be changed in childrens stories for copyright reasons.
Chickens are actually very vengeful creatures. They allow humans to swipe their eggs because not having to raise their own young gives them more time for plotting.
Chickens are the real Kings of the Jungle. It's true. Ask any chicken.
Baldar: You thinking the chicken crossed the road when the road, in reality - as opposed to your silly, dreamed-up world - passed under the chicken is another sign of your inability to recognize the obvious. Your mind is so empty you have to borrow someone else's thoughts. Too bad you borrowed the thoughts of a one-eyed, inbred son of a failure with a third-grade education.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I'll have you know that the 3rd grade education guy was pretty smart when it came to chickens.
T_Smith: I'm telling you that chicken is mafia. In day one we see that it stood before the road, day 2: it crossed the road and day 3 it got to the other side. We therefore have 3 undeniable clues that point to the chicken's guilt! The chicken is mafia! The clues say so! It's unbelievable that none of you are listening to me! Sure I might have flubbed up on a few clues, but this is obvious!
The chicken tried to get me to follow him, I didn't. He failed miserably and it became obvious that he was mafia. If you don't lynch him, you have no concept of this game!
*Five Minutes Later*
Forget about the chicken, I say we go after Rakeesh for the exact same reasons as I've stated before. Rakeesh has always had it out for me, and if we don't get him now, I'm a goner.
Well, no one else had parodied me, and my mafia paranoia is memorable. Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Mr. T - You'd just be encouraging of the chicken's efforts to cross the road, ask if it was single and sigh to yourself "I thought so" when it told you it wasn't.
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*sigh* Thats how it always happens, I swear. I can't help it if I'm a chick magnet. Too bad I'm polarized the wrong way...
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Troubador: When people see images of some inept little pullet trying to make it's way across an outback fire route they think that's Australian for chickens and roads. What people don't realize is that not a single Australian would consider trying to surmise it's motivation.
We only speculate on the motivations of real chickens crossing real roads, I swear. Even the official state "banty" is not a correct representation.
We're not that rugged. But, on second thought, I could be if the right lady requested it... *weg*
Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001
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I hate the fact that the chicken crosses and now I HAVE to figure out why he does. btw, Tom, is judging chicken motives like lambasting them? What sauce would you use? o_O![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
But as far as this individual chicken goes, I think it may have been something deeper. Maybe a need to see the other side, but without experiencing it. I think the chicken may have gotten most of the way there, and contemplated turning back. It's sad, and there's no way to comfort the chicken now, but perhaps it's not as tragic as it appears. Maybe it the the three-quarters of the journey that the chicken really needed.![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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That chicken is TOO hilarious! ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
