posted
Advent (I use true names here, My Worship) seeks to undermine the church and your solemn faith by presuming evil where there is none. So saith the Book of Fates, Chapter 7, verses 12 and 13:
"Thus a concubine, wreathed in robes of righteousness, speaketh poison like honey ... She will call evil good and good evil, and shall speak lies, and whoredoms, and corruptions, and shall presume councils when only fire and water shall prevail."
I am always your humble servant, Silvania, using the moniker estavares which stands for Erstwhile Student and Teacher Advocating Verity, Assurance, Righteousness and Esckews Sin.
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My sire, I the HOSEM, do hereby request a monthly budget from Pookadoodle's exponentially growing economy, of GDP $23 Trillion. This sum, for this month, would be $650 Billion dollars, and here I will outline where it will go to.
Space: Developement of new space vehicle called the LSLPV (Light Speed Launch Projection Vehicle) This would cost $350 Billion.
$100 Billion dollars for 150 astronauts.
$50 Billion to keep up the government of this agency, and add 150,000 more troops to the military.
$25 Billion for extensive research into colonizing other worlds
$25 Billion to add science education in schools.
Well sire? Accoriding to current estimates the military stands at 2.8 Million active personel, and 1.6 Million in resevres, with a total of 4.4 Million troops. Unrivaled by any. Crafts and vehicles stand at 3.2 Million.
...
$100 Billion: Other
[ February 10, 2006, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: Space Mogol ]
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It seems as though you have no refugees. I humbly beg of you, Your Highness, to take pity on this poor shipwrecked sailor and allow her to live out her days in a small hut on a cliff on the western face of your island where I may putter about in my vegetable garden and impart bits of wisdom on the lovestuck younglings. You may call me THE HERMIT, if you so desire.
*bows and waits for Her Highness*
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quote:Originally posted by estavares: Advent (I use true names here, My Worship) seeks to undermine the church and your solemn faith by presuming evil where there is none. So saith the Book of Fates, Chapter 7, verses 12 and 13:
"Thus a concubine, wreathed in robes of righteousness, speaketh poison like honey ... She will call evil good and good evil, and shall speak lies, and whoredoms, and corruptions, and shall presume councils when only fire and water shall prevail."
I am always your humble servant, Silvania, using the moniker estavares which stands for Erstwhile Student and Teacher Advocating Verity, Assurance, Righteousness and Esckews Sin.
How dare you question my undying affection for the Zanarch?!
I would die to protect her divine form! So how is it that you who are so new to the ways of her land dare to question the faith of her most loyal servant!
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Zanark, with your permission, I say we send a brigade of troops to expell estavares, and install someone else in his place. I need confirmation on my budget...
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Space Mogol, thy budget is approved. However, I DO wish to see some results. I hope to see Pokamonthly reports on your research and discoveries.
Auia, unless you show me your VISA, I must deny you entry into Pokadoodle.
Just kidding. Actually, I am rejecting your request.
That is because you will not live in a hut but a crystal palace by the sea where you shall be provided a library with all the books, arts, crafts and activites you ever wanted to enjoy.
*whisper whisper* As for you Advent, see to it that you spy on our Head of Church since I do not trust him. Gain his trust, become his friend. If need be, sleep with him , but find out everything t there is to know about him.
EDIT: The Zanark has spoken.
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My dear Advent, did we not have this discussion before? Besides, you must make the mood! You can't just pop out and ask for my hand in marriage without setting a romantic environment first. Not even a flower? :'(
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Awww. I'll sign on then, but only for a little while since I must wake up on the morrow at 8:30am for work. It's already 11pm over here.
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And I shall bring you every jewel and rose in the land if you so ask it of me. I will rip the moon itself from the heavens if it will please you.
Just say that you will alow me this honor of being by your side til' the end of my days.
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My Jewel, Oh Wonderous One, why would you spoil your purity by the demonic touch of "he who would destroy you." I strongly recommend a round of confession and a month of prayer at the Sacred Heart of Our Holy Frog to purge your mortal lusts.
Our Grace is beyond marriage, beyond all ties that bind Her. Thou art married to the 12 Gods, and your people, and your Church, Oh Precious One. An unholy union with a commoner will only lead to your grief and unhappiness...
While you're on sabbactical, My Jewel, I am more than happy to shoulder the burdens of your office while you are away.
(Insert innocent grin, with appropriately bowed head.)
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I henceforth motion that eztavarez be expelled for 5 months to be put on trial for doubt in the Queen's insight, and signing treaties with other nations without consent of the Zanark.
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I approve of that Space Mogol. Not to mention the fact that he is completely ignoring the fact that the line of succession follows Nellie Bly. The Zanark has spoken.
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My Jewel, Oh Wonderous One, why would you spoil your purity by the demonic touch of "he who would destroy you." I strongly recommend a round of confession and a month of prayer at the Sacred Heart of Our Holy Frog to purge your mortal lusts.
Our Grace is beyond marriage, beyond all ties that bind Her. Thou art married to the 12 Gods, and your people, and your Church, Oh Precious One. An unholy union with a commoner will only lead to your grief and unhappiness...
While you're on sabbactical, My Jewel, I am more than happy to shoulder the burdens of your office while you are away.
(Insert innocent grin, with appropriately bowed head.)
For this insult to my honor I would gladly forge the blade that will cut of your wicked head when the Zanarch find you guilty of high Treason to the great empire of Pokadoodle. I will swing the blade myself if she so asks.
You went too far when you questioned the honor and loyalty of a blacksmith. I do so hope that your punishment fits your wicked deeds.
And why would the Zanarch need a confesional? She needs no false prophet to tell her lies about her own heart, one does not need such things when one is a god such as she.
I bow myself before her wisdom and judgement, may her wrath come down upon you swiftly. Posts: 1941 | Registered: Dec 2005
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I see Our Jewel listens to the lies of commoners and follows her sinful lusts. I am beguinning to wonder if she is as the scripture foretold, from the Book of Platypus, Chapter 2 verses 67-69:
"And woe when thy creation shalt bridge the endless gulf beyond the heavens, and those who pound metal with their fists are esteemed of greater worth than thy holy prophets ... then shalt the great day of Frog and Tagog dawn, and a holier hand shall arise from the East, and"
(activates hidden switch behind throne.)
"--Your messenger shall expunge the wicked from thy SIGHT!"
(throws vial to ground, cloud of smoke rises, and I slip unnoticed into a series of underground tunnels and my awatiing submersible docked in the sea cave the engineers forgot to mention to Her Majesty.)
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*send a force of 10,000 troops, 1,000 tanks, and 500 war planes to capture estavares. He is captured, and now stands trial awaiting jurisdiction from the Zanark*
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Letter arrives, via Zanark Express, or "ZEx":
"May it be known that the Empire of Fitzwiggle, and its herald Emperor Snarg, declares jihad upon you, oh fragile Zanark.
"For offences too numerous to mention here, I hereby declare your kingdom annexed, and demand you surrender all arms (both weapons or war and those attached to fingers) immediately.
"If not, then may Frog have mercy on your soul."
Smoochies,
Emperor Snarg of Fitzwiggle
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*Guards are found slain, as security codes all over the city have been breached, and Snarg's troops have infiltrated every level. One is even using Her Majesty's bathtub and rubber duckie, while another is making a sandwich in Her Worship's private kitchen.*
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Sire, to defend our great nation, with or without your permission, I am sending 8 nuclear weapons to destroy Fitzwiggle's main cities, and government.
*sees huge plume from across the world*
The Miilitary of Pokadoodle, does henceforth annex, the nation of Fitzwiggle, and demand total surrender.
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Now that the nation of Fitzwiggle is utterly destroyed, we henceforth sentence Estavares to death by ducking.
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Investigators who assess the damage find no bodies and, in fact, realize they bombed a bird sanctuary.
Meanwhile, droves of Pokadoodle's citizens turn purple and drop dead, and scientists learn its food and water supply has been poisoned at the source. Soon the streets are Pokadoodle are heaped with the bodies of the dead or dying, and, having been fasting during his ordeal, Father Silvania simply walks out of the brig where he sat awaiting trial.
Emperor Snarg, after extensive clean-up, declares the site a new amusement park, "Pokadoodle Adventure," and soon tourists from around the world have come to see the tales of a people once proud, now six feet under.
Greeting tourists is the stuffed body of Her Majesty Zanark, bidding all welcome with help of holographic projection on her face.
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Hahahaha! The people of Fitzwiggle are delusional, and cannot see that that their nation lays in ruins, and millions and millions are dead. The Zanark sits on her thrown proudly, as 7 more nuclear weapons once more decimate cities, and wipe out the Fitzwigglian population.
Food and water is plenty dirnkable, and the people eat and be marry. Times are well. A force of 2.5 Million troops is sent to all parts of Fitzwiggle and kill every single person, in the nation, including Emperor.
After the people of Fitzwiggle realize that "Pokadoodle Adventure" is actually their capitol city, and that it is actually the emperor of Fitzwiggle, in the bodybag.
There is now way this can be denied, or reversed, as the nation of Fitzwiggle, lies in ruins, and Pokadoodle is merry.
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I think it is time I use my "devine powers" to get rid of estevares. In a flash, she erases estevare's memory and revives both the people of Pokadoodle and Fitzwiggle, who had nothing to do with our silly politics.
For the end of his days, estevares will wander in a retirement home without knowing who he is, who he was, or where the bathroom is.
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It's alright Space Mogol, it took all my strength, but I've done it. Everything is the way it was, except for estevares, of course. The Zanark has spoken.
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*bows* Even in our darkest hour our divine ruler shows mercy where before ther was none to be had.
May her wisdom show the people of Fitzwiggle the error of their ways. And may we never trust a false prophet.
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Thank you for your forgiveness my Zanark. I believe that do to the fact that I saved the country, and annhilated our enemies when you were gone, I am in line for a special medal. Of course, only if you believe I deserve one...
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Special ceremonies, I hadn't thought of those. Let's make it a la star wars where you get your medal and I'm wearing an awsome dress and there are songs playing and soldiers standing and parades and such. Kinda like in Phantom Menace.
"I hereby award you, Space Mogol, for spectacular military leadership in the war of the false prophet. Advent, I'm on stealth mode in AIM, go ahead and send me a message.
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I have constructed a memorial to this tragic event, though you returned many to life many still suffered. The memorial thall have a grand fountain of your image standing over the bodies of those who fell as great tears fall from your eyes as you look down upon the sins of your world.
A single quote from the Zanrachs own words stands upon the surface of the marble fountain, it says "Why do my children make war when all my heart wishes for is peace?"
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May we always remember what her holiness sacrificed for our sins. May we never take solace in a false prophet again, for we have seen the tragedies of war.
We have caused our godess much pain, she still weeps for those who suffered from this war. So let us never take arms against anyone ever again in her name or any others, for we are a nation at peace with all.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Dec 2005
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(Wanders aimlessly, urinates in Her Majesty's drinking fountain.)
"...Will...get...my...revenge...on blasted..." (Walks into wall, tumbles down steps.) "What was I talking about again?"
(All followers of the Great Church are furious at Her Majesty's bias and allowing minions to make decisions for her. The country's morale takes a big drop, holiday shopping hits an all time low, Family Values erode, many "Must See TV" sitcoms lose ratings and the networks resort to Reality TV.)
Mwa ha ha ha!
(Falls down stairs again.)
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*Grabs estavares by his throat, lifts him off the ground* Be glad that the Zanarch does not wish you dead, or I would snap your neck like a twig right now *tenses grip ever so slightly*
*walks to retierment home still holding estavares by the throat*
*drops him*
Make sure that he is never left unatended ever again. *walks back to the memorial*
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*Wonders how one "snapes" someone's neck. Assumes it involves a potion of some kind.*
*Patron demon Veriminspew appears in cloud of black sulphur. Restores Silvania's memory and puts the retirement home guards to sleep, allowing him to wander into the wilderness. In exchange for a plate of brownies, Silvania is granted the gift of slipperiness, so he cannot be found or captured unless desired.*
Note found the next morning:
"I go to preach the peaceable Gospel of Frog. May Frog have mercy on us all."
*Silvania disappears, lost from view...*
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*sends force of 100,000 troops, and nukes entire area. Knows silvania is dead, because body is found and matches all dental records, blood samples, and other various identity indicators. Twin killed also, and unusually, Silvania is the only casualty, and only damage done. Enough remains to indentify.*
Silvania is dead forever!
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, but find out everything t there is to know about him. ![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
*closest I could come to kneeling*
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